Chapter 32

So Felix got up from the table with his tray and went to the drop-off area, with Sheppard a moment behind. Felix waited for Sheppard and they walked without a word to Felix's quarters, where he waved them into the room.

Felix commented, "I still find that weird — so many years of a door handle and here you just wave your hand and presto. If I went back to Earth I think I would be screwed up for a bit, don't you think so?"

Sheppard looked around and half-heartedly replied, "Yea, I guess. Listen Felix — why don't we sit down for a minute. I have a couple of things I should discuss with you about tomorrow."

Felix was instantly on alert and very wary as he replied slowly, "What about tomorrow? Am I being sent back? Because if I am I would really prefer not to go back — there isn't anything waiting for me there now."

Sheppard was reclined a bit on the Atlantean issue couch and said, "That's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about, Felix. After what happened with your family, your government wanted to put you on survivor leave. I discussed this with Dr. Weir and said that if you wanted to you could go back no problem. I also told her that I didn't think you would go for it, what little I know of you. Am I correct so far?"

Felix nodded for him to continue.

Sheppard went on; "Okay, that leaves you here with us but again your government wants you back — and strangely enough you were right on the money: they want you to go and train people again."

Felix rolled his eyes and replied, "Go figure — morons from outer space."

Sheppard ignored the barb at higher-ups and went on; "That left us with two choices and we chose the lesser of the two evils as it were. We got you re-assigned to us here in Atlantis — if that is all right with you."

Felix answered, "So far so good — keep going."

Sheppard nodded and leaned forward and placed his hands together and said, "The final problem is also to do with you. I have orders that you and I are going to be attending a brief ceremony tomorrow morning at 1100 hours in dress uniform, ribbons but no medals, and the SGC will NOT take you escaping on another mission for an answer. I gather that in the past you have gone AWOL when you were supposed to be getting a medal, and you made a point of taking your team somewhere that you couldn't be found. Now, if I have to I will have you locked in here for the duration until tomorrow morning, or you can behave for a change and accept the fact that certain things will happen tomorrow, whether you like it or not. Have I made myself clear, Sergeant?"

Felix paused and then replied, "I don't do what I do for medals. I do it to save lives and help my fellow soldiers. I heard you put it on the line several times in Iraq. Did you do it for the medals? No, and that's why certain higher-ups don't like us, because we don't do what we do for gain; we do it to keep our fellow soldiers alive regardless of what branch of service they belong to. I've always worked that way — so I really don't give a pahookie about medals."

Sheppard rebutted with, "You talk about decorations as if they disgust you, but you have been awarded citations I don't think you even know about." He held up a hand to ward off the ensuing argument from Felix and continued; "If you won't accept them for you, then accept them for your team. I do know that you are feeling guilty about losing your team and that you don't feel you deserve anything except a court-martial. Wrong! You honour their memory by accepting what comes tomorrow — no arguments. Otherwise I'll let Ronon have at you, and I'm pretty sure you don't want that — do you?"

Realization had finally begun to sink into Felix, as he understood the inevitable was going to happen tomorrow — he'd have to face his demons in the morning. Felix stood up and asked, "What about my uniform? I have no idea what condition it is in and I'm pretty sure you don't a dry cleaners here."

Sheppard went over to the walk-in closet that was standard and opened it and pulled out Felix's freshly restored and cleaned uniform and boots.

Felix said, "I guess that screws me there." He sighed and took the uniform from his new CO and said, "Well, I might as well check it over — I can't remember the last time I wore the bleeding thing."

Sheppard added, "I think you will find everything is in order. Your old Chief Warrant Officer I believe he was called — he personally checked everything over and made sure your uniform is proper. He sent a message to you — hang on a second here." He reached into his pocket and walked away from Felix as he unfolded it and read aloud; 'If you fuck this up Sergeant Grey, I will come there and personally shove my RSM pace stick up your ass and open it wide so you can get your head out of your ass.' Doesn't sound like a man I would want to cross or disappoint."