Chapter 4 - Wednesday

At seven thirty-one in the morning, Marie's mouth tasted like peppermint toothpaste.

They stood in the front foyer wrapped in each other's arms and kissing each other a good morning. She obviously had gotten up early this morning and prepared herself in expectation of his arrival. That's right. No morning breath today!

She was in her favorite blue terrycloth robe again, and by the uninterrupted feel of the cloth as he caressed his hands across her back and butt, Eddie figured that was the entirety of her ensemble.

The kiss ended with Marie emitting a delightful humming. "Mmmmmm ... Good morning!" She grinned into his face.

"Morning!" He grinned back. He loved the press of her huge breasts against his chest and neck.

Her hands slipped into his shirt and ran across his naked back, pulling his shirt up. "You have fun yesterday?"

Wow. She wasn't wasting any time this morning. "Oh my god! That was amazing!" he said as she pulled his shirt over his head. "And Sybil, she was just ... unbelievable! I had no idea such women existed!"

Marie dropped his shirt on the floor next to his backpack. "She is pretty incredible. I knew you two would get along." She held his face in her hands and kissed his lips, then his cheek, and then his forehead. "So are you nervous about spending the afternoon with her and her daughter?"

Eddie thought about it. "Oddly enough ... No, I'm not."

"I got you all corrupted now, haven't I?", Marie asked with a sly grin.

"I don't think it's anything like that, because, to be honest, I'd actually prefer to spend the day with you."

"Aww, you're sweet." She beamed, and she reached down to his belt and unbuckled it.

"But I know you need your ... space and your time to do things, and I guess that's something every couple needs to figure out." She was unzipping his pants. "But this thing at Sybil's ... I just ... I don't know ... I know I really should get nervous or scared about this. I mean, I'm going over to get blown by a strange girl I haven't even met yet. I should be a puddle of goo right now."

His pants were now down around his ankles. He had already kicked his shoes off. He was now just down to his underwear and socks. He stepped out of his pants.

"You'll love Karen!"

"I'm sure she's great, but I think it's ... it's Sybil. It's like I instinctively trust her. Does that make any sense?"

Marie nodded, and slipped her hands down into his underwear, pushing them down. "Yeah. She has that effect. I think it's because she's a mother. She wouldn't have invited you over if she hadn't felt you were safe for her daughter."

"That makes sense."

Marie took Eddie by the hand and led him naked (save for his socks) towards her living room. "And if you can't trust someone's mother, who can you trust?"

Eddie looked down at the floor. "Uh, yeah ... I guess so."

She took him to the couch and they sat down together. She was smiling at him. "So I have a surprise for you!"

"You're going to say that to me every day now, aren't you?"

She nodded, and pulled out the TV remote. She pressed the button. The TV turned on, and started playing a video.

Eddie watched, his eyes growing wide. "Is that ... you?"

"Hmm Mmm!" Marie nodded proudly.

"This is one of your..."

"Yep!"

"Whoa!"

It was a porn video, showing Marie kneeling on a bed. She wore this amazing white corset that was tightly wrapped around her body and pushing her massive breasts up high and giving her this epic cleavage. The stupid porn music was playing, and she was swaying to the music, and slowly moving her hands up and down her fabulous body.

Eddie watched, and then turned to Marie. "Have your breasts gotten bigger since then?"

She shrugged. "Watch the movie." She put her hand on his thigh.

He was not at all interested in the movie. He looked at her instead, and cast his eyes down to her bosom which was still covered in her robe. His penis twitched with life. He reached out and touched her chest, and slid his hand into her robe.

She turned her head to him. She pulled him in and they kissed, softly at first, but then their tongues slipped into each other's mouths. His hand slipped further into her robe, and slid over the top of her naked breast. His erection was growing.

"Hmmm..." she mewed into his mouth, and as he slid his hand down further towards her nipple, he started kissing her cheek. "Don't you want to see my movie?"

He glanced at the screen, and watched as the Marie on the screen ran her hands through her hair. It was a favorite maneuver of his. He turned back to her. "You mean watch that girl over there?" He kissed her neck.

"Hmm mmm."

"That girl over there is someone I would masturbate to." he said, kissing around her neck and cheek. Then he pulled his head back and looked her in the eyes. "This girl here is someone I love."

"Oh..." she gasped, as he fingered her erect nipple.

He kissed her cheek and down her neck. "So why would I be interested in the movie, when I can have the real thing?" he whispered.

"It's a good movie." she whispered back, rolling her head, exposing more of her neck. She was breathing harder. He was fully erect.

"I'm sure it has everything a great movie has..." he kissed her neck in various places. "Fabulous actors...", kiss, "Dynamic plotline...", kiss, "Fully developed characters...", kiss, "Witty dialog...", kiss.

She giggled.

"Costumes...", kiss, "Scenery...", kiss, "Makeup Artists"

She laughed. "We had makeup artists."

"You did?"

"Well, we called them fluffers. But they would Make you Up."

He laughed into her neck. "You're silly!"

"Oh! Here's the part I want you to see!"

Eddie looked up at the screen. "Hello? Who's this?"

"That's Crystal! Isn't she pretty?"

"Wow! Yeah ... What's she doing to you?"

"Being my friend."

Crystal was a gorgeous redhead with alabaster skin and deep brown eyes, and wearing a red teddy that matched her hair. She was young, younger than Marie. She also fit into the movie very well, being slim and very stacked. Definitely not as large as Marie, and not quite as big as Sybil, but a pretty damn big titted girl.

"She's beautiful!"

"I thought you would like her. Do you want to meet her?"

"I ... don't know." he said. He gave her gigantic breast a gentle squeeze. "My hands are pretty full as it is right now."

"I'll say they are."

"Is she as nice as you?"

"She's very friendly."

"I can see that. What is that she's holding?"

"A double-headed dildo."

"Ew ... I ... don't want to run across one of those."

"You may want to stay out of my closets then."

He laughed. "So ... I see your movies use props."

She giggled. "So, do you want me to invite her over?"

"I..."

"She has a sister ... Megan is absolutely gorgeous! Red hair, green eyes, biiiig boobs!"

"Is she in the movie too?"

"No, she's too young. I think she's about 16 now."

"I ... think I'll take a pass for now."

"You don't want to meet them?"

"It's not that. It's just..." He wasn't sure what it was, so he pulled the best excuse he could think of. " ... going kind of fast, you know?" Maybe that was it.

She pouted, and took his groping hand into hers through the robe and rubbed it up and down her large breast. "Well, you're big-boobed porn-star girlfriend has certain responsibilities to take care of."

"Like what?" he asked, rubbing her nipple. His dick was really hard now.

"Like keeping her man surrounded with lots of big boobed women to take care of his needs. I can't always be around to take care of you 24/7."

He smiled. "Well, yours are worth the wait."

She gushed. "Aww..." He leaned in and kissed her, and tweaked her hard nipple.

The kiss turned passionate quickly, with the two lovers sucking on each other's tongues and exploring each other's mouths. Marie slid her hand onto his cock and fondled him. Eddie squeezed and caressed her huge breast, and paid close attention to her hard nipple.

She broke the kiss. "I think you're ready for your morning blowjob."

"You think?"

"Hmm Mmm!"

"Well, let me check something first."

He slipped his hand down below her breast and traced his hand over her flat stomach. She quivered, knowing where he was going to end up. He ran his fingers through her pubic hair, and over her very wet vagina.

"You ... are sopping!"

She grinned.

"I can't go to school leaving you like this."

"This is your time, Eddie."

"No, this is OUR time."

He kissed her, and she got weak. She mewed quietly as he pulled her forward, off the couch. Together they reclined on the floor, kissing and caressing. He lay her down on the floor and opened her robe. She was naked, head to toe. Her huge massive breasts stood up tall on her chest, and her nipples where hard and pointed.

Marie lay on the floor, quivering and squirming, and strangely helpless. Her breathing was ragged. Eddie broke the kiss and caressed her body, across her legs and abdomen and stomach and breasts and neck and then all the way back down again.

"How long have you been up?", he asked.

"Since six o'clock.", she rasped.

"And you brushed your teeth, and combed your hair?"

"Uh huh!" She was shaking.

"And were you masturbating all the rest of the time?"

She nodded. "Uh huh..."

"Did you cum?"

"Uh-uh", she shook her head.

"You bad girl!" He grinned. He caressed her breast, playing with her nipple. "You got yourself all worked up, just to please me, but wouldn't please yourself!"

"This is ... your time...", she was gasping. Her hands were clenching at raw air. "Trying ... I'm trying ... control myself..."

Control herself? Eddie pondered that. She did have this problem with self control. He remembered on Monday how she attacked him and then confessed to this problem. He looked at her. She wasn't just trembling; she was struggling.

"You're ... You're trying to change yourself, for me." She nodded, shivering and writhing on the floor. "That's amazing Marie, but I love you already. Don't change too much okay?"

Her willpower snapped, and she grabbed him and pulled his face into her breasts. "FUCK ME!" she cried. Her hips squirmed and twisted uncontrollably. Eddie struggled and climbed on top of her, and positioned himself between her legs. He pressed his cock up against her groin, and she reached a hand down to his hard cock. She was panting, and babbling. "In ... In ... In..."

She took his cock and guided him inside her. Eddie thrust and plunged into her hot, sopping wet pussy. She was so wet, so slippery, she was practically frictionless. Marie screamed.

Is she cumming already? Can't be. He couldn't tell. Maybe it's just released tension. But if she IS cumming right now, he thought, she obviously needs another orgasm on top of this one to keep her happy today. Eddie decided he was just going to have to fuck her until he was absolutely sure she was cumming.

He grabbed her nearly basketball-sized breasts, pushed up a bit on his knees, and started pounding her.

"AAAAHHHH!!! YES!!! OH ... FUCK ME!!" Damn! She needed this! Her huge heavy tits were bouncing in his hands, threatening to break free of his limited grasp. Her pussy was blazing hot, and practically gushing. Her arms stretched out over her head, and her fingers clawed at nothing. She writhed under him. "OH, GOD, YES, FUCK ME!!!"

Eddie maneuvered one huge massive boob up towards his face, and he latched onto her nipple. Marie bucked, and then screamed. "AAAIIIIEEEE!!!"

Okay! THAT was an orgasm! No doubt about that one. She shuddered and quaked under him, gasping, panting, and moaning.

He sucked on her hard nipple as she rode her orgasm. Just at the moment when it started to die down, he switched to her other nipple. She screamed again. Another orgasm? He couldn't tell. He sucked on her massive breast, marveling at the sheer size of her tit. He loved sucking her breasts, those big huge massive tits! He continued plunging his cock in and out of her hot pussy.

He could feel his own orgasm building. "Oh god, yes. I'm gonna cum!"

Marie panted and grunted. "Cum! ... Cum on my ... Cum all over my face ... porn star!"

"Your face?" he gasped. She nodded, writhing under him.

He pulled out and quickly climbed over her body, straddling her torso. His hard dick was between her huge tits, and he wanted so bad to tit-fuck her, but he was too close to cumming. She grabbed his cock and lifted her head, and started stroking him. "Cum baby! Cum on my face!"

Eddie put his hands on her tremendous tits and squeezed them. "Oh god!" His body was trembling, his hips quivered. "I'm gonna cum!"

"Cum baby!"

"AARRGHH! OHHHH! AAAHHH!" Eddie came, shooting out long ropes of hot cum that splashed into Marie's pretty face.

"Oh yes! Baby! Cum on me! Cum on ... ugg!" A huge blob of cum landed in her mouth, but the rest of it was streaked across her face, and in her hair.

"Ohhhh ... ohhhhh ... ohhh..." Eddie relaxed. His legs trembled, and fell to one side, collapsing on the floor. He lay on the floor for a moment, catching his breath, recovering.

Marie lay next to him, moaning, and rubbing her hands all over her face. "Oh yessss ... ohhhhh ... so good ... Thank you Eddie!"

He lay for a minute or so, recovering, panting, and sighing. Then he rolled towards her and leaned his head against one hand. He was still catching his breath as he looked at her smeared face.

"You're a mess!"

She giggled, and rubbed his cum on her face, and licked her fingers.

"You really like that, don't you?"

"Hmm Mmm!" She nodded, writhing.

He watched her. "Why do you like that? Getting blasted in the face like that."

She shook her head. "I don't know. I just do."

"You must have some idea."

"Why do you like big boobs?"

He looked at her huge breasts. "Good point. I don't know. I just do." He caressed her breast. "I know why I like you though."

"Why?" She grinned. "Is it the big boobs?"

He shrugged. "That's part of it, but not the best part. You're the first woman who ever fell in love with me. And ... seeing someone look at me like that ... I feel ... validated, you know? Like I really didn't belong anywhere until I met you."

She gushed. He smiled at her.

The clock chimed.

"Damn.", she said. "You have to go."

He groaned. "I'm calling in sick one of these days."

She smiled. "Time to go to school."

He got up, collected his clothes in the foyer, and got dressed. Marie turned off the TV and the movie. She then picked up her robe and toweled parts of her body dry, but intentionally left her face a sticky cummy mess. She then dropped the robe on the floor, opting to stay naked.

He was putting his shoes on. "You know, I'm going to want to kiss you goodbye. Are you sure you want to leave your face like that?"

"I'm going to enjoy this for a while." She smeared some cum across her cheek with two fingers. "I'm sure you can find other places to kiss me." She grinned slyly. She walked to the door.

Eddie picked up his backpack. "Well, I gotta get going."

He gazed at her. She was so beautiful, even smeared with his cum all over her face and in her hair. She was naked, free, and happy. She smiled back. "So, where are you going to kiss me goodbye?"

He looked at one breast, then the other, and then the first, and then the other again. Her nipples were hardening as he watched them. Grinning, he took her hand and raised it to his lips, palm down.

"Awww..." she gushed.

He kissed her hand, like a knight to a queen. She giggled. "Bye Eddie!" Have a good day!"

"Bye." He opened the door.

The strange man's voice said "WELL, Hello there Sonny!"

Eddie nearly jumped out of his skin. A delivery man was standing on the front porch holding a package and a clipboard. He was peering inside the house, eagerly. "Is your ... the lady of the house in? I have a delivery."

Eddie froze. Marie was frozen too. She had covered as much of her breasts with one arm and covered her mouth with her hand, and stood motionless and terrified. Eddie wanted to panic, but quickly realized that she was depending on him. He calmed himself, and took quick stock of the situation.

One. Marie was standing behind the door. She was naked, and covered in his sperm. This guy hadn't seen her yet, and would not see her as long as she didn't move. She was also trapped there. She couldn't get out without him seeing her.

Two. Eddie couldn't even look at her. That would betray her presence.

Three. This guy was eagerly looking into the house. Practically leering. So he knew what Marie looked like. He definitely wanted to get an eyeful of her body, and he wasn't going to go away easily.

Four. He's been here before. That means this guy knows that he, Eddie, doesn't normally belong here.

Eddie spoke as calmly as possible.

"My ... lady of the house can't come to the door right now. But I can sign for that."

The man hemmed and hawed a bit. "I think she really should be the one to sign for this. I can wait."

"Ummm ... She's not coming for a while."

He grinned. "What, is she in the shower?"

Stop thinking about her being naked! "No, she's vomiting."

His grin dropped. "Oh. What's wrong?"

"Don't know yet. Could be the flu, food poisoning ... I'm hoping she's pregnant." Eddie reached out and took the clipboard. The man let go of the clipboard without thinking.

Eddie started to sign his name, but got as far as the "E" and the first stroke of a "d" before he realized this would leave a paper trail of him being here. He looked at the "El" he just wrote, and finished with the name "Elliot Payne". It was the first name that popped into his head. Some jerk senior in school. A bully. Elliot Payne-in-the-ass. Tended to hang around the really good-looking girls, especially the one he had a secret crush on.

"Oh, so she has ... a boyfriend?"

"Several. She likes Marines now. She used to be on this kick with football players." He handed back the clipboard. The man handed him the package. Eddie looked at the label. "Marie Anderson"

The man grinned again. "Well, she'll make one heck of a mom, if you know what I mean. Her kids sure won't go hungry for a while."

"Yeah, well, if she IS pregnant, she's having those implants removed, and about time too! The whole family wants her to get rid of them. They've been nothing but trouble. The back pain, stalkers, she can't go out anymore ... Just not worth it!"

"Oh." The man had a strange moment, where he looked like he thought about her for a second as an actual human being instead of a pair of big boobs. "So you're her..." He waited.

"What?"

"Brother? Cousin? Nephew?..."

He nodded. "Yeah. Cousin." Not that it really matters to you. "You new at this job?"

"No, I..."

"Cause the label says here 'No Signature Required'."

The man blinked.

Busted!

"Don't worry. You'll get used to this job! Have a nice day!" And Eddie closed the door, and held up his hand to Marie. She stayed silent and frozen. They waited until they heard his delivery truck drive away.

Marie let out a huge exhalation. "Oh my god! ... Oh my ... I nearly died!"

Eddie leaned against the door, catching his breath. "Whoa ... That was close..." He handed the package to her. "Here, package for you!", he chuckled.

"I hate that guy! What a creep! He never gets a hint." Marie was breathing heavily, and picked up her robe from the floor and wiped her face with it. "That was some quick thinking there."

"Not really. What do you think I do in school all day? I come up with all these elaborate stories explaining our relationship. I've got stories ready for if we're seen here, or at my house, or the library ... grocery store ... bar mitzvahs..."

"Well it's a good thing you were prepared. I would have panicked. Oh, and from one actor to another, great performance! How did you get to be such a good liar?"

Eddie paused a bit. He didn't look happy.

"My mom."

Marie caught his change in mood. "Oh ... I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay. You didn't know."

"I'm really sorry."

"I gotta go." he picked up his backpack and turned to the door.

"I love you.", she said.

Eddie stopped, turned back to her and kissed her. "I love you too. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye."

"Bye."

And he left.

Sybil's house wasn't the elegant mansion he had expected it to be, but the front yard certainly matched and exceeded all of his expectations. Beautifully trimmed grass, immaculate garden with dynamic splashes of colors in the flowerbeds, a few individual plants with neatly printed labels next to them ... Not a weed in sight.

He pushed his bike up to the front of her simple split-level house and parked it next to the mailbox. The name "Matthews" was printed in gold leaf on it. The front porch had a swinging bench and several hanging potted plants.

He took stock of himself. He still didn't feel nervous, despite the fact that he felt he should. Instead he felt light, almost dizzy. A soft breeze blew and he felt like walking with it. He held the frame of the swinging bench as if to steady himself, and looked down at his feet. Some part of him, in the back of his mind, seemed surprised to see his feet on the ground. He shook his head to clear out cobwebs. He really felt weird.

He rang the doorbell.

A couple moments passed, and she answered the door. Sybil was as stunningly beautiful as he remembered her to be, but she wasn't in the sparkling golden gown of seduction this time. Instead, she wore a simple white button-down blouse and thin cream-colored jacket, matching skirt, and white strapped sandals. The outfit made a very good attempt at minimizing her enormous bust, but there was only so much it could possibly do.

Her smile was warming, loving, and almost healing. "Hello Eddie. It is so good to see you. Please come in." Her voice still had that hint of sultriness.

"Hi. Thanks." He stepped inside.

The inside of her house was as immaculate as the outside. Neat, perfect, and decorated elegantly with antiques of dark mahogany. There were a few of those weird abstract decorations he could never figure out, like the clear vases with big gold balls, a string of a beaded necklace, and a twig sticking out the top. They fit the room perfectly, but those things always puzzled him. Several photographs were displayed on various tables and bookcases, many of which featured a young girl varying in ages from infancy to childhood. She looked oddly familiar. He tried to place her face, but could only think that she looked a little bit like his cousin Janice. That must be it.

"Thank you so much for coming today. We have been looking forward to you. Karen will not be home for a little while. Would you care to wait with me in the living room?"

"Sure." She was amazingly disarming, very comforting. Yet something was still bothering him. He found himself touching the various tables and cabinets as they walked to the living room. And not out of curiosity.

They sat on the couch together. She looked at him warmly. He smiled, and looked about. "You have a lovely house."

"Thank you."

"You like antiques?"

"Eddie, you are not actually interested in the furnishings, are you?"

This woman was amazing. He chuckled. "No."

"I did not think so, just as I am not that interested in idle chat. I am certain that there are other subjects you would rather ... explore."

And she unbuttoned the top button of her blouse. Eddie could see a bit of her chest, just below her neck.

"Um..."

She gave him the faintest of smiles, and unbuttoned a second button.

"Sybil?"

"Yes Eddie?" She unbuttoned a third button. He could now see a line of cleavage, and the curved flesh of her beautiful breasts.

He took a breath. "I know that ... I'm going to regret saying this for the rest of my life..."

A fourth button.

" ... but could you put those away? I ... I think I really need to talk."

She stopped, and looked surprised. "Oh. A serious conversation. I apologize." She buttoned up again. She was not disappointed, but curious and concerned. "What is on your mind?"

"I..." Eddie held his head in his hands. "I don't know ... I mean ... I ... It's like..." He struggled. To many thoughts with no cohesion swirled in his brain. He reached his hands out, grasping in air, trying to catch a thought, an idea.

"Eddie, just say the first thing that comes to mind. It does not have to make sense. It can be irrational, inappropriate..."

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!"

It felt so good to get the words out, but he immediately regretted it. He looked at Sybil, figuring she would be angry with him, but she just sat in silence, concentrating on his words. She seemed to be ... tasting his words.

"Frustration ... from Confusion and Misunderstanding." She opened her eyes and smiled at him. "Go on."

He ran his hands through his hair. "I don't know ... it's just like ... This is just to easy! You know?" He was getting angry. Not at her, and not at Marie, but at himself. He couldn't figure out what was bothering him.

She grinned at him. "Are you suggesting I am easy?"

His body when cold. Holy shit! He just insulted her. "Oh No! NO, I didn't mean that! I god, I'm sorry ... I just..."

She patted his knee. "Eddie?"

"I'm sorry ... I..."

"Eddie ... It's okay ... I am easy."

Eddie looked at her, stunned. She nodding her head and smiled warmly and wickedly. He burst into laughter. The laughter was perfect, just what he needed. It calmed him down, a lot. "Thanks."

She nodded. "Do you think things are going too far, or too fast? If you do not feel comfortable, we do not have to do anything today. You are not obliged to this."

He shook his head. "No, it's not that. Which is weird. It should be, but it's not. I've thought about this. I ... Everything that has happened in the past four days with Marie and you has been amazing. And if I weren't actually DOING these things, I'd just be home jer ... fantasizing about it, and wanting it and wishing it. And more! I mean ... good god, I've got a cast of thousands up here in my head, all screwing each other. So I don't think it's too far.

She nodded.

"And, I don't think it's too fast either. Because I know that ... well ... speed ... is relative, even between cultures, and I know that I'm dealing with a different culture here. I mean, if I were like, dating some Amish girl, and I took her out to the movies and held her hand, she'd think I was going to fast ... She would probably want me to churn her butter for a fortnight before asking her out."

"I assume you mean that literally," Sybil said, " ... for 'churning her butter' sounds the most wonderful sexual metaphor."

He chuckled. "Yeah, I meant literally. And I know that you and Marie, you come from a different culture. You're much more free sexually. And I can understand that. I know that what I come from, we're all still these horribly repressed Christians. And I think it's MY background, MY culture ... We're the ones that are behind. So I don't think it's too fast either."

He sat silent for a moment. She watched him with curiosity, and waited.

"I feel like I won the Lottery on Christmas ... and I didn't even buy a Lottery ticket ... and ... any moment now ... someone is going to find out."

She nodded. He thought some more, and placed his hand on the coffee table. He touched it, and held onto it.

He looked at her. "Do you ever get the feeling like you have to hold onto the furniture to stay on the ground?"

Sybil's eyes went wide. She gasped in understanding.

"You ... Are ... Ungrounded!"

He blinked. "I have no idea what that word means, but it sounds perfect. What are you talking about?"

"Events do not feel like they are attached to you."

"Yeah."

"You are simply being swept along in the wake."

"Yeah!"

"You do not see how you fit into this, or how you affect anything..."

He nodded.

" ... or why you are here in the first place."

"YES!" he got up and paced the room. "THATS IT! Why? Why me? I don't understand!" He turned to Sybil. "You've know what Marie looks like. You've seen her. She ... gorgeous! She's beautiful! She's sexy! She's funny! She's got these..." he gestured, " ... so Why did she settle for me? I mean, look at me. I'm not that good looking. I'm short for my age. I'm not..." He gestured again, this time at his groin. " ... hugely endowed. I mean ... for Christ's sake, I'm only in the 8th grade! I don't even have a job!"

He sat on the couch, and held his head in his hands. "How am I supposed to take care of her? I have no money." He shook his head, and then turned to Sybil. "And how am I supposed to keep her? She could easily get ANY man on this planet, at any moment. I ... I was at her house this morning, and this delivery guy showed up. And even though he was a jerk, he was still better looking than me, and he had a job, and I realized ... this guy had more to offer her than I do. So why am I here?"