Chapter 4: The Upside Down

"Was it hard for you, growing up?" I asked David Deere halfway through a romantic dinner in the nicest restaurant in town.

"Sometimes," he smiled across the table at me. "Being half-white was harder than being half-black."

"Really?" I gave him a quizzical look. "What do you mean?"

"All the white kids just figured I was black," he explained, "So it wasn't a big deal for them. I was just another black kid."

"Okay," I smiled, but I still didn't get it. My hometown in Kansas was a small farming community in the middle of a corn field. I'd never seen a real live black person in my life until coming to college.

"But the black kids, they knew I was different," Dave smiled back. "They gave me a hard time about it, some of them."

"Because your dad's white?" I wondered.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Sometimes. A kid would say something about my mom, you know. Talking about a black woman wanting to be with a white guy, like she was trying to be white herself."

"Oh," I sighed and I didn't really understand any of it, but I wanted to. This was our second date and I was liking Dave a lot.

"Kids can talk some mean shit," Dave said and then he cleared his throat. "Sorry ... I mean they can be, you know..."

"Yeah, I know," I nodded.

"Anyway," Dave shrugged. "The white kids were cool about it and once I got older and started playing ball..."

"So your friends were white?" I asked him and Dave chuckled.

"Some of them," he said. "But no, I just mean they treated me no different than they treated all the other black kids. This was in Louisville, you know? Still the south, still some idiots who think the Civil war ain't over yet."

"Really? I almost smiled at that, but Dave was serious.

"Yeah, not too many," he said. "But I got called names, took some hard times."

"Hmmm..." I sighed. "I don't like that."

"I didn't like it either," he said. "But once I started playing football it was okay. I got a lot of respect on the field and then I was getting it off the field."

"Did you have a girlfriend?" I asked him with a little smile and Dave smiled back.

"I had a couple," he nodded.

"White or black?" I wondered, just because I was curious.

"My first girlfriend was black," Dave told me. "But we weren't serious or anything. My last two years in high school I was seeing a white girl."

"Yeah?" I nodded, playing with my hair as I was done eating by then.

"Yeah. She was something," Dave teased me. "Blonde with a tight, hard body. Cheerleader, you know?"

"Mmmm..." I made a petulant face.

"Her daddy was big on football," he said. "He actually liked me a lot, so that was cool. There's some good people there too."

"You like those cheerleaders, huh?" I tilted my head and Dave was grinning at me.

"Cheerleaders are nice," he agreed. "You could be one."

"Me?" I giggled. "I didn't get to do anything like that when I was growing up."

"Hard for you too, wasn't it?" Dave asked me and he knew my secrets.

"Yeah," I nodded. "Sometimes. Mostly I just couldn't do what I wanted to, you know? I used to play little games..."

"What kinda games?"

"Oh, like ... I don't know," I rolled my blue eyes a little because I'd never told anyone this stuff. "Like I'd pretend I was a secret agent and..."

"A secret agent?" Dave chuckled and I stuck the tip of my tongue out at him.

"Yeah! I'd imagine I was undercover and I had to pretend I was a boy and fool people," I shrugged and my cheeks were turning a little pink. "It just gave me a reason. I don't know."

"Yeah," he nodded. "Reasons are important."

"They are," I agreed. "But it was hard cause I knew I was a girl and I wanted a boyfriend. I wanted to wear normal clothes..."

"Girl clothes."

"Yeah, normal girl clothes and be a cheerleader, yeah..." I laughed lightly. "I wanted all that stuff."

"Your parents didn't know?"

"My parents?" I widened my eyes playfully. "God. They have no idea. I mean, my mom and dad are great, I love them, but they just think I'm shy."

"You?" Dave chuckled at that, because we both knew I wasn't very shy at all.

"I used to be," I nodded. "Before I got here and really, you know, took off the disguise," I giggled. "I was really bad at being a boy."

"You're an awesome woman, Brandy," Dave told me seriously.

"Thanks," I pursed my lips and smiled.

"So you didn't have any boyfriends?"

"Mmmm..." I shrugged. "Not boyfriends, um ... There were a couple guys I knew and we fooled around a little."

"Fooled around?" Dave grinned at me and I was really blushing then.

"Yeah, a few guys who figured I was just ... gay," I shrugged. "We never dated or anything, just kind of snuck off and I'd ... do stuff for them ... As long as they didn't have to do anything for me, you know. It was okay for them."

"Right," Dave nodded.

"But they didn't treat me like a girl," I sighed, "and I'm not gay."

"I know," Dave said and his soft brown eyes were right there. He wasn't teasing me. "You're not a boy either."

"No. I'm not one of those," I smiled at him.

" ... mmmpph..." I moaned into Dave's mouth as we kissed, leaning into each other in the front seat of his Porsche.

Dave's tongue was large inside my small mouth and he was kissing me deeply with it. I was tickling it with my own, sliding my tongue over and around his, sucking at the man's eager kiss and melting beneath the attention. He had one hand in my hair and the other was on my tummy, working up to my breasts through the pink sweater I was wearing.

I was touching him as well, feeling Dave's hard body beneath his shirt, stroking the man's chest and wishing I could get him naked. We were both hot and sweaty after half an hour parked at the lake. The windows were fogged up and the air was thick and humid. Dave had been a perfect gentleman on our first date, just as he'd been for most of this one, but he wanted me and it was okay to make out on a second date, right? I didn't really know, since I'd never dated anyone before in my life, but I was more than willing to let Dave set the pace.

"Oh, baby ... You're so hot..." he sighed, drawing back from my mouth so we could catch some air and I licked my bruised lips.

"You're making me hot," I giggled breathlessly and then he was kissing me again, this time letting my tongue flutter between his parted lips.

His hand went higher, finding my small tits as I pressed myself against his touch. I wore a bra, but it was just for show really, just to give me some shape because my tits were little more than puffy brown nipples. They were long now, swollen with arousal and aching beneath the pressure of Dave's hand, but still nothing more than you might find on a twelve year old girl and I was worried that I disappointed the man.

Dave didn't seem to mind though and I was grateful for that. His strong hand pressed against my sweater and the bra beneath, flattening the cups against my chest and he was rubbing me nicely. I moaned into his mouth, working my tongue against his, and my right hand was going lower, reaching for the bulge in Dave's trousers. He was making me feel so good and I wanted to do the same for him. I felt his tongue pushing mine between us, back into my mouth as he filled me, and I found his cock with my hand. It was hidden away, trapped and hard and I could feel the outline of Dave's large penis beneath my fingers.

"Let me take this off..." Dave breathed after some ten minutes of making out like that.

I nodded dumbly, panting for air and lifting my arms so that Dave could pull my sweater over my head. I shivered as my body was bared from the waist up, except for my lacy bra, which was hopelessly askew by then. I shook my blonde hair free and reached behind me to unclasp the bra without really thinking about it and as it came loose I suddenly wondered if Dave might not want me to leave it on, since I had such small breasts. He might have wanted the illusion, such as it was, and so I held my bra to my chest for a moment, looking at Dave and smiling hopefully.

"Am I going to fast?" he wondered, perhaps thinking I was being shy or feeling nervous.

"No," I shook my head. "I just ... I wish I had ... more."

"What?" he gave me a doubtful look and shook his head. "You're beautiful, baby. Let me see..."

"Are you sure?" I asked him softly, but I was already letting my bra fall down my chest. I put my arms in front of me so the straps slid down and my bra fell onto my short, yellow skirt.

"Brandy ... Mmmm..." Dave nodded as he took in my puffy nipples, big and brown, swollen with the female hormones I'd been taking for all of a month.

He reached for me, putting his left hand on my right breast and I groaned happily, arching my back and nodding. He worked my nipple around with his palm, Dave's skin looking darker than he really was, being contrasted against my pale flesh. He leaned into me, kissing me deeply for several minutes while he played with my tits and then he was kissing my chin and neck, kissing my chest and finally taking a nipple into his warm sucking mouth while I cradled his head with both arms around him.

"Oh yeah," I gasped at the sensation of his teeth biting me gently, tugging at my body while his tongue washed my distended nipple.

Dave sucked my tits wonderfully, moving from one to the other and back again. He was giving me small love bites too, bruising my delicate skin deliberately and I didn't mind it at all. I loved the way it felt when Dave sucked my flesh into his mouth, nibbling and chewing me, especially my nipples. They were throbbing painfully beneath his attentions, but even that was pure pleasure. I was begging him to do it harder, to make love to my little girl tits.

My cock was throbbing as well, jerking inside my panties as my orgasm was close. I'd been on the edge all night it seemed, making out with Dave and tasting him in my mouth. Smelling him and feeling him against me. The man filled my senses and now he was loving my tits, making me feel so unbelievably good. My tummy churned with excitement and my skin had goosebumps. I shivered and rubbed my thighs together, wanting some contact with my hard little cock. Just a touch would have set me off and I almost reached down, just to give myself the release I so desperately needed, but I didn't. I held Dave tightly and kissed his hair and whimpered my pleasure into the humid night.

"It's getting late," Dave said softly, lifting his mouth from my body and stroking my hair out of my face.

"I don't mind," I told him with a half a giggle, feeling a little buzzed with all those good feelings.

"Yeah, but I should get you home," he sighed.

"Should you?" I teased him, moving my hand along his thigh, sliding it upward because his cock was right there, obvious and large and waiting for me.

"Jesus, I want you so bad," he said, leaning in for a kiss on my lips as I found the shape of his cock and squeezed it.

"I want you too," I breathed.

"I just don't want to go too fast," he told me, touching my face, caressing my cheeks with his thumbs.

"It's alright," I told him, but Dave had other ideas.

"I think this is serious," he told me. "I want to respect you, okay? I want to treat you right."

"You're treating me just fine," I giggled, sliding my fingers along the uneven zipper of his trousers.

"I want to treat you like a lady," he told me seriously. "I want you to be my lady."

"Alright," I swallowed hard and the way he said it sounded so nice, so smooth in my ears.

"Yeah," Dave nodded, like he was making up his mind. "We're serious now. I'm going to drive you home."

"Oh, ummm..." I kind of blinked at that, being at the point where I was about to unzip his pants and give him the best blowjob of his life.

He was serious though and I have to say I was a little confused by it, a little frustrated because I was so ready to give him anything. Dave was driving me home, back to my dorm, and I wondered if I'd done something wrong. It didn't seem like it. Dave was happy and looking at me more than the road, telling me how beautiful I was, how sexy and tempting he found me. He didn't sound like a man who was disappointed and I was basking in his praise, but I was horny too. The man had fired me up and my cock was screaming for relief, my skin tingling with desire. I wanted to make love to him. I wanted to suck his cock and feel him inside me. I was primed for it like I'd never been before in my life!

"Tomorrow night?" he asked me as he walked me to the front steps of my dorm. "Will you go out with me again, Brandy?"

"Yeah," I smiled up at him, letting the man turn me around and pull me close.

"I'm gonna need a cold shower tonight," he chuckled. "You're really something, you know that?"

"I don't think a shower's going to be enough for me," I rolled my eyes. "Dave..."

"Shhh..." he kissed me, slow and deep and I wrapped my arms around his neck while he grabbed my ass. I could feel his hard cock against my tummy and I was ready to cum in my panties, I swear.

"Seven o'clock," he whispered and I just nodded, blinking my wide blue eyes because I had cum!

My cock was throbbing still, spilling semen into my panties while we held each other. I was red faced and breathing hard, trying to slow my heart as it rushed hot blood through my trembling body. I'd cum while Dave kissed me, rubbing myself against the man as I sucked his tongue and swallowed our combined saliva. I had no idea if he was aware of it or not, but it must have been obvious, I thought. I could barely stand up!

"Uhkay yeah..." I managed to breathe, nodding my head and feeling my warm sperm covering my girlish cock and smooth balls. I was a mess!

"Are you okay?" Dave wondered, giving me a little look and I just giggled.

"Yeah, I'm okay," I nodded. "Just a little, uh ... something."

"Me too," he sighed and he kissed me one more time, lightly on the lips before letting me go. "Goodnight, Brandy."

"Goodnight," I said and I was pretty much falling in love with the guy.

"I just don't get it though," I sighed, sitting on Darla's bed and I'd gone over to her dorm after Sunday brunch. "We made out for two hours and I was so ... ready!"

"I bet!" Darla giggled and she was painting my toenails red. "He's seriously hot."

"God! I know," I said, leaning back on my arms with my legs straight. I was wearing my pink short-shorts and a t-shirt, being totally casual.

"Maybe he's just old fashioned," she shrugged. "Like he wants to do it, but he likes the game, you know? He's a football player."

"Yeah, but I thought those guys just, you know ... went for it!" I said. "Like they just want girls who put out."

"They do," she smiled up at me and she was cute and nineteen, a freshman like me.

She had a lot more experience with boys though, obviously, and Darla was my first real best friend, like the kind of a best friend that any other girl grows up with. I'd never had one of those and silly stuff like hanging out and painting each other's toenails, talking about boys? I'd missed all that stuff and now I was soaking it up. I'd never realized how much I'd missed the little things, but I did now. Having to pretend I'd been a teenage boy had really sucked and unless you had to go through it, you'd never understand how lonely it could be probably.

"Then why did he stop?" I shook my head. "I was trying to get his zipper down and everything!"

"Really?" Darla's brown eyes looked up through a veil of fine black hair. "You were serious about it, huh?"

"Yeah!" I giggled self-consciously. "I just wanted to make him feel good. I wanted to, you know ... go down on him. Sorta."

"Sorta?" she stuck her tongue out at me and laughed.

"Well ... Okay, I was gonna give him the best blow job of his life," I laughed. "But then he was like, driving me home."

"He's got it bad," Darla nodded.

"Got what bad?" I wondered.

"You!" she sat up straight, pulling her hair out of her face and tucking it behind her ears. "If he wasn't pissed..."

"He wasn't," I said.

" ... and he wanted to stop," she continued, "it's cause he wants something else."

"Something else?" I didn't understand her. "He could have had anything. Everything. I wasn't going to say no!"

"Something besides that," Darla told me with a smile and I thought she was teasing me now.

"I don't know," I sighed. "What else is there?"

"You're so dense sometimes," Darla laughed at me and I frowned.

"What?" I asked her. "Just tell me."

"Blonde is your color," she said, definitely teasing me then. "Give me your other foot."

"Darla!" I pouted, but it was no use. She was happy now that she had something to taunt me with and it was fun, but totally frustrating!

"Tonight we'll do it," I thought aloud some twenty minutes later. "I'll make sure I get him so hot he can't say no."

"Heh!" she shook her head and both of me feet were done, my fingers too, and I had nice long red nails now.

"You don't think so?" I looked at her as we sat next to each other on her bed, leaning against the wall.

"Nope," Darla said, popping her P like bubblegum. "Third base, that's it."

"Third base?" I giggled.

"Yeah," she nodded. "He'll get his hands in your panties, make you feel good all over..."

"Hmmm..." I smiled at that idea.

" ... and then he'll bring you home," Darla told me. "Safe and sound and still a virgin."

"Awww..." I frowned and then giggled, and I was a virgin and Darla knew because I'd told her that before.

"I'm serious," she said. "Dave's hung up on you. He's not going to fuck you until he knows he's got you."

"He's already got me!" I laughed. "God! I thought it was supposed to be the other way around. I'm supposed to be telling him to slow down, not speed up!"

"And you're complaining?" Darla shook her head. "You oughta be loving this."

"I do love it," I sighed. "I just ... I want to love it more."

"Uh-huh," she laughed.

"I want to have sex," I said. "I want a boyfriend and I want to have sex with him. That's all."

"You will," Darla patted my bare thigh. "He's just in love with you."

"What?" I blinked at her. "You think so?"

"Duh!" she rolled her eyes. "That's what I was talking about before. A guy like him? He's probably fucked a hundred girls..."

"Oh..." I frowned.

"So the sex thing isn't how he judges a girl, you know?" Darla explained and I had no idea if she knew what she was talking about or not. "He wants to know you first. He wants to talk and get serious and the sex, when it happens, that's just icing on the cake."

"You think he really loves me?" I wondered. "We just met though."

"If he's not fucking you already?" she grinned. "Yeah, he's in love and he wants you to love him back."

"But..." I narrowed my eyes, thinking I kinda did love him, except I'd only known him for two days.

"You wanna have sex with the guy?" Darla asked me and I nodded. "Then tell him you love him. Tell him he's the only one and see what happens."

"I can't say that!" I frowned.

"Why not?" she made a face at me.

"Because I don't know if I do or not," I told her. "I mean, maybe ... but..."

"Well, don't tell him then," Darla laughed. "But that's what he's waiting for."

"Hmmm..." I sighed, knowing Dave liked me a lot. But love? Is that what he'd meant about getting serious?

"Going out again tonight?" Keith asked me and I wished he wasn't there.

"Yeah," I nodded. "Dave's picking me up at seven."

It was just strange, getting ready for another man in front of a guy that I was attracted to and whom I knew was attracted to me. Not to mention that we'd had sex before. Not real sex, but I'd jerked Keith off while we kissed. I'd sucked his cock and let him cum in my mouth and on my face. That was real enough, even if we hadn't gone all the way. And now he was sitting at the desk we shared, supposedly studying for one of his classes, while I made myself up for someone else. It was just really weird and I wasn't very comfortable doing it.

I was wearing a small black thong, with my little cock and balls tucked neatly away, and pulling up a thigh-high stocking, black with roses along the seam and around the top. It was sexy against my white skin and I had my left foot on my bed, showing Keith my ass mostly. I put on the other one and made sure they were straight before stepping into a black nylon skirt. I'd just bought it that day, out shopping with Darla and spending what little money I didn't have. It had been red-tagged anyway, half off, and how could I say no to that? Especially the way it hugged my ass! That skirt was short and tight and really looked good.

I put on a black bra, this one not maiden-form or anything, so the lace was flat against my chest, but that was okay. I was going to wear a thin white blouse over it and even if I had more nipples than tits, I was going to look hot. Keith watched all of that too, not saying anything, but just watching me and I knew he saw the love bites Dave had given me. I had some music going and that was cool. Some Black Eyed Peas, so I sorta danced around without really meaning to, but you know. Keith liked country and western, which was one of the reasons I'd left Kansas, to get away from that stuff. So I liked to play my music and try and convert the man into being a little more hip. Keith didn't mind usually. He liked the way I moved.

But I wished he wasn't watching me. We both knew I could have been doing all that dressing up for him, if he'd just dump his girlfriend and promise to love me forever. Or something like that. I wasn't sure what I wanted from him, to tell the truth, but definitely some kind of commitment, like a promise that I wasn't just his fuck buddy while he missed the girl who was waiting for him back home. Maybe I wasn't being fair about it, I wasn't sure, and that bothered me too.

"How do I look?" I asked Keith, just to tease him without trying to be mean.

I'd just finished fixing my face, putting on some crimson lipstick to match my fingernails and some dark eye shadow to make my blue eyes pop. Not too much, but just enough, and now I was standing in my leather heels, posing for the boy and daring him not to want me.

"Great," Keith sighed

"Where are we going?" I wondered after having another romantic dinner with Dave. I was getting seriously spoiled and I don't know where he was getting the money, but he spent it like water.

"A little party?" he smiled at me. "If you don't mind being shown off."

"You're going to show me off?" I giggled, but I was feeling a little nervous.

"Yeah," Dave nodded. "Three dates in a row, I mean ... That's gotta mean something right?"

"Yeeeeah..." I answered slowly. "Um, what does it mean to you?"

"I was kind of hoping it means you're my girlfriend," Dave told me.

"Are we gonna go steady?" I rolled my eyes playfully.

"Aren't we?" Dave asked, biting his bottom lip and looking impossible handsome.

"Mmmm ... Are you sure you don't have another girlfriend someplace?" I asked him. "I don't want to share."

"No," he told me. "No girlfriends."

"Boyfriends?" I lifted my eyebrows, but only half-teasing him and we both knew it.

"Heh!" Dave chuckled. "No, none of those either. I'm not gay."

"Okay, well..." I took a deep breath. "Yeah, I can be your girlfriend."

"Good," he nodded at that and reached for my leg, stroking me through the black silk stocking I was wearing.

"You're not going to get in trouble, right?" I asked him.

"For what?" Dave glanced at me as he negotiated downtown traffic.

"For you know," I shrugged. "I'm not keeping it a secret."

"Yeah, I noticed that right away, remember?" He slid his hand higher, under the hem of my skirt and I didn't stop him. "I'll take a hard time probably..."

"Hmmm..." I sighed.

" ... but I've been taking it hard all my life, Brandy," Dave found my bare skin with his fingertips, caressing the inside of my thigh as I spread my legs slightly wider.

"Okay," I nodded.

Dave was a big boy, twenty-two years old and a college senior. He was a minor celebrity, being one of the best college football players in the country. A lot of people watched him, he'd told me, and watched out for him as well. I didn't really understand any of it yet. I didn't understand how he could be willing to be serious about me and not worry about what people would think. I mean, all his friends were football players, for one thing. That's kind of a manly, testosterone loaded sport and most of those guys wouldn't think much of a girl like me, I was sure.

I was scared, yeah.

"Another frat party?" We were back on campus and I looked at the large house, all red brick and white wooden trim and lit up like Christmas.

"No, this is the Lions Den," hee grinned at me. "Kind of home away from home for the players, you know?"

"The football players?" I asked him and I was definitely nervous now.

"Oh yeah," he turned off the engine. "Don't worry, nobody's going to be anything but nice, I promise."

"If you say so," I swallowed hard.

The idea of walking into anyplace called the Lions Den didn't sound like a good idea and it hit me then just how much trust I was putting in Dave. I mean, if this was some elaborate plot to trick the faggot into walking into a gang-rape or just some good old fashioned ass kicking fun for a bunch of drunken football players ... I put that thought out of my head quickly. Dave had taken me out twice before and it had been wonderful both times. We'd talked a lot and he'd kissed me. We'd made out like crazy and he wouldn't have done that if he wasn't serious.

I had to trust him, I told myself. Dave was my boyfriend now, so...

The music was going and there were a lot of people there, but it wasn't like a free-for-all party the way the one Friday night had been. The only guys there were the football players, or so I assumed since they were all huge, and the girls were all girlfriends, mostly. Some of them weren't obviously, because there were like two girls for every guy, but they wanted to be, that was obvious. Some of those girls didn't mind sharing either and I blinked as some big black guy walked past us with his arms around two pretty girls, one black and the other a giggling redhead.

"Hey Dave," the guy nodded and kept going, giving me a little look up and down before the black girl said something to get his attention.

"Wassup man! Whoa! Hi there," a large white guy smiled at me as Dave walked me through the house.

"Hey Mouse," Dave said. "This is Brandy."

"Hi," I smiled up the guy because he was like six and half feet tall or something.

"Wow!" Mouse nodded. "You got any sisters?"

"No," I giggled.

"She's hot, dude," Mouse rolled his eyes and Dave was already pulling me along by the hand.

We met a dozen guys like that and none of them had real names. They didn't even have nicknames that made sense. Like huge guys named Mouse and Tiny and one guy was called Chopper. It was all a little confusing, especially when I was handed a drink and told it was fruit punch. I took one sip and it was all punch and one glass was going to knock me out cold. But it was fun and Dave was right, nobody was anything but nice to me. A few comments here and there about how sexy I was, a lot of interested looks, but I was dressed for it too. I didn't mind that and neither did my new boyfriend.

"Every guy here wants to fuck you," Dave whispered in my ear as we sat close together on a sofa.

"All of them?" I asked him softly, leaning against the man and he had his arm around me so that my head was against his chest.

"Uh-huh," he smiled down at me and I licked my lips.

"Even you?" I wondered.

"Especially me," Dave said and then we were kissing, his tongue slipping into my mouth and we were in the middle of the party, but I didn't care.

We were in the oversized living room where the music was loud and a couple guys played video games on a big screen television. I think their girlfriends were the ones dancing together, kinda dirty dancing and grabbing as much attention as they could. Some other couples were sitting together like Dave and I were, some of them making out from time to time. Other people were talking and drifting in and out of the room, bringing fresh drinks for people. It was kind of crazy, but kind of controlled too and I wasn't nervous anymore.

"Are you gonna do something about it?" I breathed after a nice long kiss.

"Do you want to?" Dave asked me and I nodded.

"Yeah," I told him and then giggled. "As long as it's not here."

"We can go upstairs," he said.

"Alright," I nodded, feeling my tummy tighten up as I realized we were really going to do it finally.

That was another kind of fear, just because I'd never gone all the way with a guy before. Blowjobs, yeah, but never really going all the way. I was a virgin and I suddenly wondered if I'd do it okay. I mean, it sounds dumb, but I wanted it to be good. I wanted it to be special, you know? Dave wasn't a virgin, I knew that, and I didn't want to disappoint him. Darla was right ... Blonde was totally the right hair color for me!