Chapter 30

Renee woke to a hand on her shoulder, and for a heart-stopping moment, she thought it was Zack's.

But Sawyer's mismatched eyes calmed her fears.

"What time is it?" she asked.

"Seven PM," he said. "We have to go."

"Where?"

He grinned. "First, I'm going to take you somewhere I should've a long time ago."

"Where?" she repeated, unease creeping into her stomach.

"It's a surprise. You'll like it." He placed some clothes on the bed, and brushed his bangs from his eyes. "Trust me, okay?"

She bit back the retort that she did not like surprises. They often led to pain.

Sawyer never surprised you like that, she thought to herself. You have to learn to trust him.

You shouldn't trust anybody, retorted her mind. Like him, if you must, but trust hurts so much more.

She set the pillow aside and stood from the bed. Sawyer was either online or pretending to be.

The bathroom was as bleak as ever. She wondered how he was going to explain the mess to his mother.

In the mirror, a girl stared back without expression. Renee tilted her face side to side, expecting there to be some outward sign of the emotions churning within here, or some bruising ... but there was nothing. She may as well have been wearing a mask. The months had probably worn away whatever beauty, or personality, that Simon had been so enamored with.

She pursed her lips and turned away from the reflection.

The jeans and black camisole clung to her body, her curves an enticement to any who glimpsed them. Her old sensibilities would have been horrified at the ensemble; now, she was just grateful she had something to cover herself.

The boy and the girl left the house together.

"Okay," said Sawyer. "Almost there."

Renee tried to quell the butterflies in her stomach. Her young master had told her to close her eyes, not even realizing he'd given her a command; she hadn't wanted to ruin the little bit of hope that rose against her nerves by telling him how anxious being blind made her.

He isn't Claude, she thought to herself. He isn't Claude.

And he had not let her stumble.

She clasped his hand tightly. The movement of other pedestrians on the walkway sometimes made her flinch, but Sawyer's presence kept most of the fear at bay.

The boy led her into a building, and the aroma clued her in before his, "Open your eyes," did.

Books.

Shelves up to the ceiling, with rolling ladders. A stairway, comprised of more shelves, rose to her right. The musty scent of the paper filled her nose, and she inhaled deeply, savoring it. Claude's library had been bigger, but this one felt more real, with the hodgepodge of cover designs and conditions of its stock.

Sawyer stood aside, watching the glow infuse his friend's face. She took three steps to the nearest shelf, hand outstretched in a gesture close to reverence. She paused, inches from the first spine.

"I can touch them, right?" she whispered.

"You can have one," he said. "I told you I'd buy you another. Picking 'em up won't hurt them."

Renee grinned, and in that expression you'd have never known she was a synthetic who had been mistreated her entire life. She seemed as fully human as anyone, and her excitement was catching.

She embraced him, before turning away. The directory overlay her sight and found her interests with a thought; following a path only she could see, she walked to the fiction section.

Sawyer followed a distance behind.

In the end, the girl left with not one book, but an entire stack. There had been so many to choose from- she appeared happy enough to stay there for days- that Sawyer hadn't the heart to make her cull the selection.

She remained in her little bubble of happiness through the entire transport ride. Only after the door opened did the smile slide off her face.

"This isn't your house," she said. It wasn't a house at all. In front of them, a skyscraper rose gleaming, low clouds made it seem to touch the sky.

"It's Dr. Colton's," said Sawyer. He stepped outside the vehicle. "She's going to hide you for a few nights, while she contacts CISH. They're a synthetic rights group."

"But- I don't want ... why do I have to leave you?"

He glanced away. "Zack will report you."

"Then hide me somewhere else," she hissed. She grabbed his arm before she really thought about it and gave him a shake. "Don't leave me with people you don't even know."

"I know Colton." He pried her hand off and gave it a squeeze. "She's the one that saved your life, remember?"

Renee sighed and shrank into herself. "So, what was this?" She lifted the bag of books. "A parting gift to your synthetic so you won't have to feel guilty when they lose me, or turn me in?" She was being harsh, but didn't care.

She didn't want to be passed around like old clothes.

"Dammit, Renee. Do you always have to assume the worst?" he replied, exasperation filling his words. "Really? I bought them because I care about you; I wanted you to not be bored, and the only time you ever seem happy is when you're in a fucking book." His fists tightened with each sentence, hurting his hands.

The girl withdrew a few steps, body constricting in an automatic preparation for blows.

Sawyer saw her cringe, and he forced himself to inhale and relax. The frustration was still there, but he shoved it back. Her suspicions hurt- hadn't she been with him long enough to know he wouldn't hit her?

This isn't her fault, he thought. Zack, and Claude, and god knows who else. It's going to take more than a few books to make her think you're different.

If you are.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Look, I'm going to see you again in a few days. They said that if you don't see your owner for over a year, you'll shut down. So, no matter what happens, you'll see me again, okay?"

The girl nodded her head once, body still wound like a spring.

" ... okay." He stepped up to the door. "Let's go inside."

Sawyer's doctor waved them in with a nervous glance outside, peering past the door as if she suspected they were being watched.

Her condo was spartan, the decor obviously decorated by someone other than the woman in front of them. The false personality of the place made Renee nauseous- it reminded her too much of Claude's mansion.

The only place his personality had shown was in his 'dark room.'

She shuddered and shook her head, shoving away the dark thoughts. She wasn't there anymore, so why did her continue to haunt her mind?

Sawyer hadn't left and she was already homesick.

Renee clung to his hand as they followed the redhead past closed doors and to the end of the hall. A bare room, with only a terminal on the night-stand near the bed lay before them.

"She can stay here, at least, until my paster comes," said Colton. "Louis said he'll contact some people better ... equipped to hide her."

"Are there a lot of other synthetics in hiding?" asked Renee. The bag of books sat at her feet.

Colton shrugged. "I don't know. I'm on the shallow end of the organization, kid."

"Where would they send me?"

"I don't know."

"Do you know anything?"

The woman sighed and shook her head.

The synthetic bit her lip and turned to Sawyer. "This can't, it just can't be safer than being with you."

"It is. It's the only option I can think of."

"Zack knows about Colton."

" ... what would you have me do? If he doesn't report you, my parents might. I can't hide you alone."

"You could try."

Sawyer turned to the doctor. "Can you give us a second?"

Colton raised her eyebrows, and glanced at the synthetic. At the girl's nod, she left the room.

"Renee, look-"

She cut him off, her soft lips against his in a fluid motion that took the boy totally by surprise.

His muffled gasp opened his mouth to hers, and he melted under the attention, reply forgotten.

The girl grasped his hands as they rose to draw her closer, and forced them down to his side.

She tasted better than she smelled, and he idly wondered if it was because she was a synthetic or if it was just because she was a girl.

Noses bumped, and he froze, mortified at the show of his own inexperience. He started to pull back, to apologize, but she didn't let him, leaning into his body like a flower follows the sun.

Sawyer stopped fighting her and allowed himself to be led, his skin heating with every twist of her tongue, but he forced himself to stay still. His awkward attempts to match her zeal were brushed aside, and he eventually quit speculating on why she was kissing him.

Renee withdrew with a gentle nibble on his lip, a slight smile on her face. She lay her forehead against his and placed a finger over his mouth.

Her grey eyes met his through dark lashes.

"Sh," she said, breath warm against his lips. "Think very carefully before you speak."

The boy nodded, his mind still reeling and hormones on overdrive. He reached a shaky hand to stroke her hair, and she caught his wrist in a grip that was inflexible, but not painful.