Chapter 5

Thursday 06 December

Present — Ben - Hospital — Ramstein AFB Germany

It has to be early morning because there isn't much light in the room. The pain woke me about an hour ago, but I'm not sure what hurts more, my arm or my heart. I can't stop worrying about Zarika and Yasmeen. I'm amazed at my feelings for them, I really do love them. I can only hope they listened to me and followed our plans. Somehow, I need to get back to them and bring them here like I promised.

I look at my right arm and determine I'm not going anywhere for a while, not with this wound. It doesn't hurt as bad as yesterday and the smell isn't as bad. Motion at the door alerts me as the nurse comes in the room to turn and medicate me.

"SM Blaine, it's good to see you're awake" she whispers so as not to wake Jens.

"I've been awake for about an hour now."

"How do you feel?" she asks.

It's the first question everyone seems to want to ask me and it's also the hardest question for me to answer. I decide to just give her the physical answer, "The arm doesn't hurt as much as yesterday."

"Let me give you something for pain before we turn you on your back."

"Please, I don't want anything for pain if it's a narcotic. Ask the doctor if I can have something non-narcotic and non-addictive," I tell her. After letting the girls down I deserve to feel the pain.

"I'm sorry; we don't have orders for anything else." She replies.

"Then we'll do this without anything. Please ask the doctor when he comes in for different pain medication."

"I'll try to be gentle," she says as she pulls the pillows from behind me and rolls me onto my back. It hurt some, but the pain feels good. "Here, take a drink of water for me," she whispers.

I took a small drink, not wanting to upset my stomach. "Is there anything else I can do for you?" she asks.

"No thank you, you were very gentle."

"Here's your call button. Press it if you need anything. I'll be back in a couple of hours to check on you." She turned and left the room.

I look over and see Jens asleep in the chair beside my bed. Her snoring makes me smile and I remember all the great times we've had. How can I tell her about the girls, what will she say and do when I tell her? I decide I want her close to me so I say, "Jens, hey my beautiful sleeping girl; wake up."

She stirs in the chair, yawns and stretches. "Huh, oh Ben you're awake!" she comes over beside the bed and holds my hand: I can see the undying love in her eyes.

"Jens, pinch me. I want to make sure this isn't a dream."

"I can do better than that," she says, kicks off her shoes and jumps into bed with me. "My love, how do you feel this morning?" Damn! It's that question again.

I slide my left hand down her back, squeeze her butt and laugh, "I can feel fine with this hand."

Even with her mask on I see her blush. "Yes, that feels fine to me too! I've missed your touches."

"I've missed your sweet kisses even more!"

She takes off the mask and gives me a hell of a kiss. "Screw the nurses! I'm not wearing this damn mask anymore." She throws it on the floor and gives me another hot kiss.

Almost everything seems right in the world again. If only I wasn't wounded and if only the girls were here it would be perfect. "My love, remember I can sense your feelings, but they are more hidden than before. All I can sense are vague feelings, why are you sad right now?" Jens asks.

I look at her and I can't bear to tell her the truth so I hug her tight. "I can't talk about it right now Jens."

She snuggles close to me, "I felt some of the things they did to you and I understand. If you ever want to talk about it, I'm here for you." She gives me another kiss and says, "Let's see if we can get back to sleep for a while."

And for the first time in what has seemed a lifetime, we slept together.

Present — Jens - Hospital — Ramstein AFB Germany

Ben slept all day and through the night until early morning. He woke me and it reminded me of the many times before he was captured when we slept together. I'm sick and tired of the hospital rules so I jump into bed with him, kiss the hell out of him and throw my mask away.

He's been through a hell I only know a little of and I can't sense his feelings like I could before. Now it's just a vague overall feeling of sadness. How the hell can he be sad! He escaped and made it back.

I don't think he realizes it yet, but his injury is going to end his career as a Marine, at least as a Marine sniper. And I don't think Ben's going to want to shuffle papers or train others - my guess is he will retire. Once he retires then we can finally get married. Just the thought has me so excited.

I haven't told him yet about my problems because he has too many problems of his own. I went AWOL, was thrown out of the Marines in disgrace, and locked up. To be truthful, I'm very embarrassed about it and I can't think of a way to tell him. I failed him. I wasn't able to convince anyone other than Liz he was still alive, and then I wasn't able to rescue him. The only two times I've ever failed in my life, and they have to be so fricken huge!

He falls back to sleep and I cuddle with him. I'm doing my best to sense his feelings but I don't have any luck. My mind wanders to Liz - what the hell is she doing now? I'm more confused than I've ever been. Ben's homecoming hasn't been anything like I imagined it would be. Ben is strange, which is sort of understandable after what he's been through. But Liz is acting almost psychotic.

Too many questions, too few answers, and my two best friends are acting strange. As I ponder, I slowly drift off to sleep.

Flashback Natasha (Jens) - Sakirpasa airport at Adana Turkey - Sunday 14 October

Liz really came through for me; I never would have made it off the base if it wasn't for her. But now I have a new problem, how am I going to make it back to Kabul? I don't have a passport, I don't have any money, and I don't have anything right now except for Liz. And my poor Ben! I can sense and feel waves of pain going through his body. Hang on Honey - I'm coming to save you!

Liz went to take care of things and I'm extremely anxious and agitated. I needed to simmer down or I would attract the attention of people I didn't want to notice me. I lean back and try to remain calm and it worked for a short while until I noticed a couple of policemen looking at me. I smiled at them but it didn't work as they slowly started walking towards me. Oh Shit! I'm screwed!

Liz returns right before they get to me, hands me a Canadian passport, a ticket for Kabul and press credentials. I quickly glanced at the name - Natasha Akunin. The police walked up.

"Documents please," one requested.

Liz turned to face him and handed him our passport and press credentials. "What is this, are you harassing the press from the Truth Network?" she spit out.

The police looked at the passports and moved back a step, "Sorry Miss Morgan and Miss Akunin, we're just trying to do our job."

She snatched the passports back, "And is your job harassing us?"

"No Miss, it's just Miss Akunin seemed very nervous to us and we needed to check to make sure she wasn't a terrorist."

"Of course she's nervous because this is her first assignment to Turkey. Does she look like a fucking terrorist to you?" When she swore at them they blushed, apologized profusely and left.

I looked at her when they left, "You sure put them in their place."

Liz laughed, "They aren't used to having a woman stand up to them, but I wasn't going to have them push us around. Now, let's get to our flight." Liz grabbed most of the gear and we headed towards the gate.

I asked, "Liz, why did you choose the last name, Akunin?"

She looked at me like she couldn't believe the question. "Don't tell me I know something about Ben you don't know?"

I gave her a puzzled look, "Liz, what the hell do you mean?"

"Jens, I should make you suffer and not tell you, but you've been through enough already. One of Ben's favorite authors is Boris Akunin." Liz replied.

"He sounds Russian."

"He is and writes great mysteries. I especially like Sister Pelagia and the White Bulldog, and all the stories about detective Erast Petrovich Fandorin are great."

I was upset because Liz knew this and I didn't, "How the hell did you find this out?"

She laughed, "I asked Ben."

I couldn't think of anything else to say, "Oh."

She giggled, "Don't be so upset, you still know many things about him I don't."

I smiled at her, "You're right. I just want to know everything about him."

"Jens, you need to let parts of him be a mystery to you. Leave something to discover later."

Once again Liz amazed me. We walked to the ticket counter and checked the heavy bags then we went to the gate for our flight.

Current - Liz - Thursday 06 December — Flight to Dushanbe

For the first time in a very long time I wasn't sure what to do and how to figure out what went on with Ben while he was captured. I sat and thought and decided the only thing I could do is to try to retrace his steps. That means I have to get back to Dushanbe, Tajikistan and find the guards that chased those two wives-or sisters-or girls away.

I called Bernie and Jon and told them to keep filming the reunion of Ben and Jens - we were making a small fortune for the videos. They could upload them to our secure server and I would do the intro and exit parts remotely. They asked me what I was doing, but I decided not to tell them. This secret cannot be shared.

I caught the next flight to Dushanbe and started to formulate my plan on the trip.

Flashback - Liz — Sakirpasa airport at Adana Turkey - Sunday 14 October

It was hell getting the passport and press credentials for Jens. The forger I went to demanded payment in multiple ways - several of those were uncomfortable and things I don't normally do. I sure hope Jens doesn't notice how funny I'm walking.

Jens was just getting ready to be picked up by the local police when I showed up. I gave them hell, partially because I was still pissed at the forger. I plan on turning his ass into the police when we get to Kabul. I'm sure the inmates in the Turkish prison he goes to will be even harder on him than he was on me. Damn! The things I do for love!

We made it on the plane just fine and were sitting next to each other. "Natasha, you need to try to relax. You're still attracting too much attention."

"Sorry Liz, I can't relax knowing what Ben is going through."

I shushed her, "Natasha, you can't talk about it right now."

She looked at me and smiled, "Yeah, you're right. But it's the only thing on my mind."

I needed to get her mind on something else. I leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Natasha, use your incredible brain to make a plan for how you're going to find and rescue your man."

"That's a great idea," she said as she sat back. I could almost see the wheels turning in her head.

Flashback - Zarika and Yasmeen — Tajikistan Late Day Seventeen

Ben was very sick and very upset at us. We were very bad, we slept and did not take care of him. So he made us sit up front while men, not us his loving wives, took care of him.

Yasmeen kept poking at me, "Quit poking me."

"This is all your fault. You did not take care of Ben." Yasmeen accused me.

I was tired of her so I punched her in the nose. It made her nose bleed and she jumped on top of me. We were fighting like crazy, pulling hair, hitting and biting each other. The driver and the other passenger tried to stop us. We ran off the road and into the ditch, the truck was bouncing all over. It almost tipped over and finally ran into a rock. The two men grabbed us, pulled us apart and pulled us outside of the truck.

I heard Ben start yelling from the back in pain. Sasha yelled, "What is happening? Ben was just tossed around and his arm is bleeding again."

Alexi, the driver answered, "The girls were fighting again and caused me to wreck the truck."

Sasha answered, "Tie them both up and if they keep talking put a gag in their mouths."

"You are not tying me up!" I said and fought Alexi.

"Me either." Yasmeen added and started fighting with Sergei who was holding her.

I used some of the tricks Ben taught me to break free from Alexi then I ran over and helped Yasmeen get free from Sergei. We stood facing the two men, "You cannot tie us up. We will fight all of you!" I said.

"We will kick your guts." Yasmeen added.

I looked at her, "She means we will kick your butts."

Sasha and Oleg jumped out of the back to help.

Alexi rushed me and I punched him in the nose very hard and he fell to the ground. Oleg grabbed Yasmeen. "Zarika, help me!" she shouted. He had his back to me so I ran over and kicked him in the crotch. He let out a yell, let go of Yasmeen and fell to the ground. The other two men were more careful.

We heard Ben yell from the back of the truck, "What the hell is going on."

Flashback - Ben — Tajikistan Late Day Seventeen

I was snapped awake by the pain as the truck was bouncing all over hell. I didn't know what the fuck was going on, but I was sure Zarika and Yasmeen had something to do with it. It didn't take long for the suspicion to be confirmed when I heard they were fighting again and caused the truck to wreck.

I heard a fight outside the truck, Oleg and Sasha left the back to help. If I wasn't so sick I would have chuckled because it sounded like Zarika and Yasmeen were holding their own. I knew I needed to do something so we could get moving again so I shouted, "Girls! Zarika and Yasmeen come here now!"

"Ben, we cannot, the men are trying to tie us up." Zarika yelled back.

I'm so sick and tired and fed up with this crap, "Okay everyone, quit it and come back here right now."

I heard some low talking I couldn't make out and a couple minutes later four of them peeked in the back of the truck. "Where are Oleg and Alexi?" I asked.

Sasha replied, "Zarika hurt both of them, so they won't be here for a while."

I stifled a chuckle, "Sasha, how bad is the truck damaged?"

"Ben, I think the truck will be okay. Alexi didn't hit the rock very hard."

"Girls! I need to talk seriously to both of you." They made sure I could see them, "You two are a big disappointment to me. You keep fighting all the time because you are both being selfish. Do you realize if you have caused the truck to be broken I will probably die?"

They both look down at the ground and start crying. I continue, "You will both ride up front until we reach Dushanbe."

"But Ben, who will take care of you?" Yasmeen asked.

"Sasha is taking very good care of me and I want him to continue. Do you both understand me and my orders?"

"Yes Ben," they both said.

They both looked so sad, it was breaking my heart. "I've changed my mind. One of you at a time will ride with me back here and help Sasha; the other will ride up front. You will switch places every two hours as long as you don't fight. If you fight even once then you will both sit up front."

They started squabbling about who was first in the back, I cleared my throat and they both shut up. "Yasmeen, you can be with Ben first," Zarika said shocking me.

Alexi and Oleg finally made it to the back of the truck. "Ben, are we ready to go?" Oleg asked.

"How's the truck Alexi?" I replied.

"This is a strong truck and it is fine." He replied.

Sasha and Yasmeen climbed in the back with me and everyone else jumped into the cab. Yasmeen was putting cool washcloths on my head and it felt very good.

"Yasmeen, I need to sleep for just a little bit. Please wake me up in two hours when you and Zarika switch places." Sasha said.

"Yes, Sasha. What should I do for Ben?"

"Just keep the cool washcloths on his head and give him a little water to drink." Sasha said and went to sleep.

I remember Yasmeen giving me a big kiss on the lips as I slowly drifted off to sleep.

Flashback - Yasmeen — Tajikistan Late Day Seventeen

I was very happy I could take care of Ben. I hated sitting up front with the men; they smelled like goats and things even worse. Even with his smelly bad arm Ben still smelled better.

Sasha did the hard work and left me to give loving care to my husband and I really liked it. Once we got Ben all settled in Sasha decided to take a nap and gave me time to show Ben how much I loved him. I know I shouldn't have, but I gave him a big kiss as he drifted off to sleep.

As Ben slept I continued putting cool cloths on his head and giving him kisses. I even lay down beside him and cuddled very close to him, pretending it was our wedding night. I don't know about this Jens girl he thinks he's in love with, but I know she can't be as pretty as I am.

Flashback - Ben — Late 1999 Heading back to Jack's house after the briefing

It was exciting hearing about our next mission because I could finally use some more of my training. And if this target was as much of a rat bastard as the last one, and I'm pretty sure he is, it's one more dead and deserving asshole in hell.

I was on pins and needles while Jack was driving home.

"Hey Banzai, you'd better simmer down or you're going to wear a hole in my car seat." Jack laughed.

"Sorry Jack, I just can't wait to go on our next mission." Then I realized that ever since I was with that little girl Jennifer I hadn't thought about the bitch Susan. I remembered the pencil Jennifer gave me so I pulled it out of my pocket and looked at it. It had teeth marks and a bunch of hearts on it. She'd even written BB+JD on it. What a strange little girl she was. Then I wondered could BB be me? No fricken way as I dismissed it with a chuckle.

"What's so funny?" Jack asked.

"Nothing Jack, I was just daydreaming. Hey Jack, can we swing by and pickup my car?"

"Sure, you have your keys with you?"

"Right here."

He changed directions and we headed back to my old apartment as I started humming again. I saw him glance out of the corner of his eyes at me and I stopped humming realizing it was the bridal march again. Damn, I hate it! Once I hear a song it's stuck in my head forever.

My mouth dropped open as we pulled up to my old apartment. I opened the door, got out of Jack's car and looked at what used to be my car. All the windows were broken out and the interior was trashed. It even smelled like someone had peed in the car. The tires were slashed, the hood was open and the engine was destroyed. Jack walked up beside me, "Looks like someone decided to get even."

"What do you mean?"

Jack told me about the fight between Anna and Susan. I didn't know whether to believe everything he told me. "Jack are you BS-ing me?"

He gave me a hurt look, "Listen, I'm not BS-ing you. I'll never lie to you. You can even ask Anna."

"Sorry Jack, Anna just doesn't seem the type to do what you said."

He laughed with his deep baritone laugh, "Banzai, there's one thing you need to learn. Never, ever get a woman seriously upset at you."

I looked at the car one more time and it was a mental image reinforcing what Jack said. "This car was a piece of junk anyway. Let's take the plates off it and call a junkyard to come pick it up."

Jack went to his trunk and came back with a screwdriver and we recovered the plates. "I'll call a junkyard when we get back to the house." Jack said.

Susan came walking up right as we were getting ready to leave, I barely recognized her. Her face was swollen, bruised and she had tape over her nose, plus she could barely walk. "Hope you like your precious car now you little prick." She gave new meaning to the word nasty.

Any love I had for her had turned into hate. I coolly replied, "It looks almost as beat up as your face. And is probably only half as screwed as you are."

Jack let go a huge laugh, "That's telling the nasty slut. Let's go home."

We didn't make it to the car because a couple of sailors showed up. One looked at Jack and said, "Hey stupid fucking jarhead, did you just insult my girlfriend?"

Jack bristled and replied, "Shit, I'd always heard sailors would stick their dick in any hole, even each other's."

He took a swing at Jack but was too late since I was waiting for it. I blocked his arm, brought it down in an arm bar and palmed him as hard as I could in the chest. I heard his ribs crack as he fell to the ground wheezing. His friend tried to hit me with a roundhouse. I grabbed his arm, stepped in close, brought my elbow up into his throat and threw him to the ground.

Susan came up and started beating the shit out of me - I just stood there. Jack came over and time seemed to travel in slow motion as I watched him deck her. When she hit the ground I turned to the side, started shaking and threw up.

He came up beside me, put his arm around me and walked me back to his car. He even fastened my seatbelt for me. I was still shaking as we pulled up to his house. He came around and helped me into the house.

Flashback - Anna — Late 1999 Jack's house after the briefing

I was waiting for Jack and Ben to come home because I'd made a big dinner to celebrate Ben's first mission. We were going to have Yankee pot roast with all the trimmings and some cheap wine to go with it. I'd even dressed to the nines and shaved my legs.

I went to the door when I heard Jack's car pull up and right away knew something was wrong. Jack was almost carrying Ben into the house. Ben was shaking like a leaf in a thunderstorm and was as white as a sheet. "What the hell happened?"

Jack gave me the look that said, shut up. So I did and held the door open for them. He took Ben right into his room and came out a few minutes later.

He came up and gave me a hug, "Thanks Anna for not asking anything else." He looked past me to the table, "It looks like you went all out for dinner tonight."

"I wanted to celebrate Ben's first mission. So can you tell me now what happened?" He told me about how Ben's car was trashed. And then how the little slut showed up and how Ben stood up to her. I laughed when Jack described Ben's comebacks.

"Anna, you should have seen him take out those two sailors. I don't know if I've ever seen anyone faster. He reacted before I could even move."

"So what messed him up my love?"

"Well, Susan came up and started hitting him and kicking him and he just froze. She could have beaten him to death and he wouldn't have done anything about it. So I went over and decked her and that's when he started shaking and then he puked. He's been that way ever since."

I was damned pissed off, "Jack, I'm gonna go over and kick her ass again. The little slut didn't learn anything."

He grabbed me and hugged me, "Don't go doing something stupid. We got away with it once, but do it again and you might end up in trouble."

"You think we should hold dinner for Ben?"

Jack looked towards the second bedroom, "I don't think he'll be out tonight. Let's put a plate at his place on the table just in case."

I set the table and even put food on Ben's plate and wine in his glass. We finished dinner but Ben never came out of his room.

Flashback - Jack — Late 1999 Jack's house after dinner

Anna had such a nice dinner planned; it was a shame Banzai missed it. I made sure we left the food on his plate and the wine is his glass so he would see he was welcome in our house.

There were things I wanted to talk with her about, but Banzai's room was too close to the dining room. After dinner I said, "Let's take a little walk."

I left Banzai a note and told him not to worry, we'd be back later and we took off hand in hand. "Anna, I have a real problem and I'm not sure how to handle it."

She looked at me with concern, "It's about Ben not being able to defend himself against a woman, isn't it."

She was so astute, that was one if the things I loved about her, "That's right, someday he's either going to have to kill a woman or be killed himself."

She squeezed my hand tight, "Have you ever had to kill a woman?"

I looked at her, "Unfortunately twice. They were both going to kill me."

"How did you feel about it?" she probed.

"It was the hardest thing I've ever done and it bothers me to this day."

We walked for a while in silence then she said, "Jack, something in Ben's past has him overly sensitive to hurting women. Maybe his dad beat his mom, but from what you've told me about her I don't think so. So it must be something else. The problem is Ben can't distinguish between a woman that wants to kill him or seriously hurt him and a woman that's just angry at him. Somehow we need to teach him the difference."

We walked on awhile and I said, "I've got a couple of ideas what do you think about this?" And I told her my ideas.

She smiled and said, "You know this just might work. How about if we go home and put phase one of this plan into action."

We hurried home.

Flashback - Anna — Late 1999 Jack's house after the walk

I walked into the house, stormed into Ben's room, throwing the door open and yelled, "You sorry excuse for a Marine. Quit lying on the bed feeling sorry for yourself, get your ass to the table and eat the nice dinner I made just for you."

I had to keep from laughing. Ben jumped up so fast it scared me. "Yes Miss, sorry Miss." He ran to the table and sat down.

I walked in and stood by my chair acting all snotty and like a bitch, "Aren't you going to get my chair for me?" He jumped up knocking over his chair and held my chair for me. I sat down and he went back to his chair and sat down and began to eat.

"Thank you Anna, this is really good."

I looked him straight in the eyes, "Ben, why did you just act the way you did to me? I was a real bitch to you."

He looked down at the table, "I-I-I don't know." I called Jack into the room, "Jack if I would have treated you that way, what would you have done?"

He looked at Ben and said, "I would have asked you if you were PMS."

"Why would you ask me that Jack?"

"Two reasons: First you didn't treat Ben with respect and second no one deserves to be treated badly."

I looked at Ben, "Ben, you treat women with more respect than they deserve. Don't you think you deserve at least some respect from them?"

He looked down at the table, "I guess so."

I grinned at Jack and yelled, "What the hell did you just say to me Ben?"

He didn't answer right away, instead I could see him thinking. He looked up at me and said, "Anna, are you PMS?" and then he smiled. Jack and I laughed.

Jack poured us another glass of wine and we all sat at the table while Ben finished his dinner.

Jack looked at Ben as he swirled his wine, "Banzai, I debated about telling you this. But I think you need to hear what I'm going to say because someday it might save your life." Ben stopped eating and looked at Jack.

"Now listen to what I say and don't go getting sick on me." I watched Ben and he seemed to change a little, it was almost as if the smooth edges were gone and he became hard. Jack continued, "The day will come when you will face a decision and the choice you make will determine whether you live or die."

Ben sat up even straighter in his chair and the soft boy was totally gone, he was a Marine. "If we end up going to war in the Middle East, and you know I think we will, they will use women and children against us."

I watched and for a second Ben looked like he was going to get sick. He got himself back under control and said, "Jack, you're telling me someday I might have to kill a woman or a child?"

"Unfortunately, that's what I'm telling you."

Ben looked down at his plate and played with his food, I could tell he was thinking. After several minutes he looked up at Jack and asked, "Jack, tell me the truth. Have you ever killed a woman or a child?"

Jack looked down at the table, "Banzai, I've never had to kill a child. But twice I was forced to kill a woman. Both times they had been shooting at us. It's not something I'm proud of, but it's something that had to be done."

I switched between watching Ben and Jack. They were both looking down at the table and Ben was still playing with his food. The five minutes they kept looking at the table seemed like an eternity, but I knew I needed to keep my mouth shut. Things I didn't understand were being worked out. Ben finally looked up at Jack and the adoration was still there, "Jack, that had to be hard for you to do and even harder for you to tell me. Thank you." And he started to eat again. Jack looked across the table at Ben and I swear he had a tear in his eye.

He took a big drink of his wine, "Damn! I hate cheap wine." I laughed and said, "I wondered when you were going to complain about it. If you don't like it, next time you can go buy the wine."