Chapter 23

Flashback Linus — Kabul Afghanistan

How in the fuck did Ben put up with Natasha! She and her damn dog had been hell on me all morning. With the computer, all the fighting bullshit and a sore ass, I've had a foul mood since I got into the Suzuki.

Natasha looked over at me and asked, "What's wrong Linus?"

I barked back at her, "You know what the hell is wrong." Her damn dog didn't like my answer and growled at me from the back.

Natasha continued, "Come on Linus, don't tell me you're pissed off at me about the computer."

I took a deep breath and replied, "Natasha, it's that, and your dog and the fight we had in front of Matt and Jim. How in the hell do you expect me to be the second when you won't follow my orders?"

She was quiet for a bit and then said, "You're right. I was totally out of place. I know you should kick me off this mission for what I did, but I hope you give me one more chance."

It was my turn to be quiet as I weighed the pros and the cons of having her on the mission and finally I answered her, "Natasha, for right now you're more an asset to this mission than a liability, especially since we aren't going to have my two additional men. But if you or your damn (I'm interrupted by a growl from the back) I mean if you or Sharik fuck up again you're both off the mission."

I could hear a little sniffle from under the hood of her burka, "Linus, thanks for one more chance. I promise we will both be better. I don't know what I would do if you kicked me off the team." Sharik barked once in what I thought was agreement, but then he barked a bunch more. I looked in the rear view mirrors and noticed we'd picked up a tail.

Natasha said, "Yeah Linus, Sharik told me we have a tail behind us. What are your plans, Sir?"

At first I thought she was being a bitch again when she called me Sir, then I realized she did it to let me know I was in command. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do yet so I distracted her, "Don't tell me you speak dog?"

She said, "Linus, I may act like a bitch! But that doesn't mean I am a bitch and I sure as hell can't speak bitch. I don't know how I understood Sharik's bark, I just did."

I looked in the mirror and a second HumVee fell in behind the first. "Natasha, I think we're going to be in some sort of squeeze play here soon. Is the fifty ready?"

She replied, "I loaded it with AP rounds. Just tell me when and I'll hump it to the mount."

I looked closer and said, "Shit Natasha, the lead HumVee is fucking Blackwater and the second HumVee is the Marines."

She totally shocked me with what she did next.

Flashback Natasha (Jens) — Kabul Afghanistan

I watched the HumVees behind us in my side mirror and it was comical as hell. The Marines tried to pass the Blackwater HumVee and Blackwater HumVee blocked the Marine HumVee. It reminded me of watching a NASCAR race. They didn't chase us very hard, so I bet they weren't sure it was me in the cute little Zuk. That was about to end!

I stood up in my seat, turned towards them and rested my butt against the windshield. Then I yanked off my burka hood, threw it on the floor and let the wind blow my hair. I smiled real big and waved at the HumVees. That got their attention and they floored it. I spun around, bent over, pulled up my burka, dropped my pants and mooned the hell out of them. Linus almost wrecked the cute little Zuk and I yelled, "Linus, keep your fricken eyes off my ass and on the road!"

He responded, "What the hell did you do that for?"

I replied, "I have a plan - you just drive the Zuk like you stole it or I will take over."

He floored it and now we were flying. I humped the fifty onto the mount, opened up and sprayed the road in front of the lead HumVee. As the fifty barked out its rounds, Sharik added moral support as he barked too. The two of us made a hell of a lot of noise. I watched for the Marines to try a pass and they finally were getting around. I fired to the right of the Blackwater HumVee. It dodged to the left to avoid my rounds, ran right into the side of the Marine HumVee, they got tangled up and both ran into a building.

I yelled, "Mess with the best, die like the rest." Sharik added a few more barks.

I sat back down and put on my burka hood. Linus turned down a narrow alley and we escaped one more time.

Linus said, "Natasha you come up with some of the craziest plans, but somehow they always seem to work. I just wish you'd tell me what you were going to do before you do it."

I answered, "Sorry Linus, sometimes there isn't enough time to argue with you about my plans. I would like to know, if I had told you what I planned to do, would you have let me do it?"

He thought for a couple seconds and said. "No, I don't think I would have."

I answered immediately, "Did my plan work?"

Linus reluctantly answered, "Yeah, it worked this time. But someday one of your hair-brained plans is going to backfire."

Sharik barked once, I looked back at him and said, "Hey I thought you were on my side."

Linus laughed and got quiet - almost like he was day dreaming...

Flashback Thom — TSIFFTS Mission

Son of a bitch! This mission sure went to hell in a hand basket. I hated pulling the guys back out of the compound, but this was one time that if I pushed the issue it was going to get someone killed or caught. And if we got caught it was the same as death.

I anxiously waited for Linus, Hammer, Byron and Todd to get back to the trailer. Finally Linus and Hammer flew into the trailer. They were so fucking noisy it surprised the hell out of me and I thought we were being breached.

Linus said, "Shit Thom! Put your pistol away before you shoot us."

I barked, "You two make more noise than any two people I know. Shit! It's no wonder the dogs heard you."

Hammer asked Linus, "Wa ur Thom's panties in sic' a boorichie?"

"Why are Thom's panties in such a bunch?"

I got pissed and added, "Linus tell your friend he's the one with the dress so I'm sure he also wears the panties around here. I bet they're even thongs."

Hammer lunged for me but Linus grabbed him. Hammer said, "Ah shoods knock ye aris ower teakettle again. Ye mealy moothed olde rockit."

"I should knock you ass over teakettle again. You mealy mouthed old fool."

I looked at him and said, "I may be old - but just remember: Old age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill."

Hammer said, "Weel if olde age is a requirement 'en yeh certainly hae 'at covered."

"Well if old age is a requirement then you certainly have that covered."

I continued with, "Keep talking that way and you won't live to see your old age." I watched and kept them distracted as Todd slipped in behind the two of them, they didn't even hear him. This was going to be good. He slipped up close to both of them and I knew what was coming. He tapped both of them on the shoulders and it seemed like they jumped up about ten feet. They spun but it was already too late. Todd had moved - shit he was fast!

I laughed so hard I almost busted my gut. Linus turned around and accused, "Shit Thom, you had all that planned didn't you!"

It took a couple minutes, but I finally stopped laughing and answered, "Not all of it, but enough of it to teach a couple young pups where their proper place is."

Hammer said, "Jist min': Revenge is a dish best served braw."

"Just remember: Revenge is a dish best served cold."

I turned and walked back to the main camera console and taunted, "And it'll be a very cold day in hell when you two figure out a way to get revenge on me."

I planned to say more, but Jim interrupted, "Hey you guys need to see this, something's going on in the compound."

We ran over to the consoles and I checked the cameras. Things looked all fucked up in the compound. I asked, "Where the hell is Byron? He should be here by now."

Flashback Byron — TSIFFTS Mission

I was just getting ready to head back to the trailer, when all hell broke loose. The roving guards found the four dogs Todd tranquilized and sounded the alarm. The whole compound came to life and lit up like a Christmas tree.

There was no way in hell I was going to get out of here now, not until things calmed down again. I released the four dogs I'd made friends with and climbed back up in the tree. Then I tried to call Mothership, but the radio was jammed. I heard dogs out searching, but they didn't worry me because I've always had a way with dogs. I could tell from all the noise there were probably fifty guards out. I double checked my weapons just in case I needed to fight my way out of this one and then got as comfortable in the tree as I could. Nothing to do now but wait - sooner or later they had to relax and then I could escape.

Flashback Thom — TSIFFTS Mission

Shit! Byron's not back and I don't think he will be coming back anytime soon. Not with the compound looking the way it does now. But Byron's one of the best and I'm sure he hasn't been caught.

Linus came over to me, "Thom, I want to go back in and rescue Byron."

Hammer came over with him and said, "Aam gonnae tay."

"I'm going too."

I looked at both of them and said, "Now who's got their panties in a bunch. No one is going anywhere right now. What we are going to do is our jobs. Get on the consoles and let's see first how we missed all the security this bastard has. Somehow our intel got fucked up on this - perhaps there was a leak. If so I want to find out about the SOB that leaked it. Then let's see if there is any way we can give Byron some support."

Linus jumped on the computers and said, "I'm going to see if I can hack into this SOBs security system and fuck with it some."

Jim said, "I'll keep monitoring the cameras."

Hammer said, "Aam gonnae make sure aw th' weapons ur ready in case we hae tae gang in fur a rescue."

"I'm going to make sure all the weapons are ready in case we have to go in for a rescue."

Todd came over to me and signed. I said, "Todd you can't do that right now." He signed a bunch more and I said, "Well, have it your fucking way. If anyone can do it, you're the only one. Just don't fuck it up."

He walked over to the weapons cabinet, pulled out some more weapons, slipped out of the trailer and into the night.

Linus yelled, "Hey where's he going?"

I replied, "He's heading back to the perimeter to assess the situation better. If there is an opening he's going back in for Byron."

Linus came over and got in my face and said, "You'd better not have sent him in to eliminate Byron."

I looked Linus in the eyes and coldly replied, "Listen, squid! I have no plans of letting Byron die on this mission and even fewer plans of having him eliminated. You know what a sneaky SOB Todd is. He's the only one of us that has a chance of getting in to help Byron. So get your ass back on those computers and do your job."

He grumbled as he headed back to the computers.

Flashback Todd — TSIFFTS Mission

I had a hell of a fight with Thom and told him I was either going back in to help Byron or I was going to quit the group. It's my fault Byron was where he was now because I didn't wait for him. I wanted to get back to the trailer and give Linus and Hammer shit about being too noisy. I'd fucked up this time but I wasn't going to let Byron pay for my mistakes.

Thom told me I was going on a suicide mission. If it ends up being suicide, that's fine with me. I've been ready to die since I was in the accident that took my voice. Shit I should have died on that mission.

If I could laugh, I would laugh at the name the rest of the team gave me: SBD (Silent But Deadly). Even Thom, as good as he was from all his jungle skills in Vietnam, was still no match for me. I would need all those skills if I was going to rescue Byron. I made it to the perimeter wall and wished I could shout out curses. Someone had really fucked up this time because all the intelligence on this place was wrong. I noticed there was now an IR beam across the top of the wall plus the place had more lights than a runway at an airport.

I tried my radio, but it didn't work. Just as I figured, they are jamming everything right now. Suddenly, the lights went off and it took about thirty seconds for them to come back on. Then they flickered briefly again. There were subtle differences in the lights and I figured out they were running on a backup generator and then switched back over to main power. I grinned as I was sure that Linus has something to do with this. No more surprises for me, if he does it again I will be ready.

Flashback Matt and Jim — Kabul Afghanistan

We had a hell of a surprise when we looked in the back of the truck we'd just traded for the Beemer. As I closed the back of the truck, Jim said, "Matt, we've fucked up big time now. What the hell are we going to do with all the shit in the back of this truck?" I was just getting ready to answer when a very expensive looking Mercedes drove up.

The passenger in the back rolled down the window and yelled at us. I noticed Jim fingered a grenade but I warned, "Not now Jim, we both know who this bastard is and for what he's done he's going to pay. But the dumb fuck thinks we're his drivers. Let's pretend we're with this asshole before we blow him to hell."

I yelled back to the Mercedes, "Sorry we were just switching drivers."

We jumped in the truck and followed the Mercedes.

I called Linus and informed him of the situation and told him we'd be late to the rendezvous site. He approved our change in plans.

Jim said, "Shit Matt I want to kill the bastard now."

I said, "Jim, we need to be patient. You know as well as I do he has too many friends traveling with the convoy. With what we're carrying he has to be headed to either a storage location or better transportation. To do that, he will have to separate his car from the convoy. Once he does his ass is ours!"

We followed the Mercedes for what seemed to be an eternity. Jim was fidgety as hell.

This wasn't like Jim since he was normally more composed. I questioned him, "Jim what the hell has you so upset?"

Jim spat back, "That bastard does. The more I think about what he's done and how many people he's done it too. The more I get pissed off."

I smiled and replied, "Yeah, but that's going to end today."

Finally the Mercedes turned off on a side road. I tried to figure out the best way to get him to stop when Jim said, "We should run that fucker off the road."

I glanced at him and replied, "Jim sometimes you come up with the best ideas. Hang onto something." I stabbed the clutch, downshifted, floored the truck and rammed the ass end of the Mercedes. It swerved, but the driver still controlled it and pulled onto the side of the road.

I drove up beside the Mercedes. The bastard rolled down the back window again and was giving us hell. "You worthless scum sucking assholes look what you did to my Mercedes. You're going to have to pay for it."

Jim yelled back, "Eat shit and burn in hell you drug dealing bastard."

Jim threw two grenades into the back of the Mercedes. It and Ex-General Stockman were toast. Jim said, "It's a shame to waste two perfectly good grenades on a worthless piece of shit like that."

I looked over at Jim, "I think I know what to do with our cargo. Follow me." We jumped out of the truck and headed to the back. I opened it up and we started throwing the packages of heroin into the burning Mercedes.

Jim threw the last package in and said, "That bastard died too easy a death. We should have captured him and given him to Jens."

Flashback Natasha (Jens) — Kabul Afghanistan

Linus just had a strange conversation with Matt. When he hung up the phone I asked, "Linus what the hell is going on?"

He glanced at me and answered, "Natasha, for right now I can't tell you because it would affect our primary mission. Just know it's something good and you're going to love it."

I started to get bitchy with Linus and Sharik growled at me. I looked back at him and said, "Why in the hell are you growling at me?"

Linus laughed, "I think he's trying to tell you not to get bitchy with me or I will throw you both off the mission."

Sharik barked, I looked at him and said, "I knew I should have left you outside."

He whined and then nuzzled my neck, it tickled and I giggled, "Okay my dog prince, you're forgiven this time. Just don't let it happen again."

We finally saw a car dealership and I said, "Linus this looks like the place. Pull in and we'll see what we can do. You do remember the plan?"

He gave me a dirty look and said, "Hell yes I remember the plan. You think you still remember how to act pregnant?"

I patted my fake belly and said, "Don't worry. I still remember how to be a bitch. Let's find a good car this time. I want one that doesn't waddle like I do when I wear this fricken belly." We pulled up and parked by the office. I looked around and said, "Linus I want that silver car over there."

Linus replied, "Okay give me a few minutes and I will be right back."

I did my fat pregnant cow act as I got out of the Suzuki. Sharik jumped out beside me and let out a woof. I looked down at him and said, "Shhh, I'm fine. I'm just acting. Now remember your part." He sat beside me, and wagged his tail. I reached down and scratched his head.

Several minutes later Linus came back with a salesman. Sharik stood up, raised the hair on his back, growled and snapped at the salesman. He acted exactly as if he was rabid. His act was so good it almost frightened me.

Linus said to the salesman, "Wait here while I talk with the very pregnant wife of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. If you come any closer, I will not be responsible for anything her attack dog does to you."

Linus walked over and grinned at me as Sharik peeked around Linus and continued with his part in this play. Linus quietly said, "Damn Natasha, that salesman is so scared he almost pissed himself. This plan is working great, are you ready for part two?"

I replied, "Linus, Sharik and I love it when a plan comes together and we were born ready."

Flashback Linus — TSIFFTS Mission

I planned to destroy the fucking security system at the compound, like I'd done before. I hacked into the power grid of the compound and gave it hell but the bastard had a backup generator and it kicked on before I could really damage anything.

If I just killed the power, the generator came online almost immediately, so I had to be more subtle. I found if I took the voltage close to a brownout and then had it fluctuate, the generator couldn't handle the quick changes and I could shut down things in the compound for at least one minute. I hoped it was enough time for Todd.

Thom came over and said, "Damn Linus, can't you do more than you're already doing?"

I barked back, "Shit Thom they have a generator and I'm doing all that I can do. If you think you can do better give it a try. What sort of plan did you work out with Todd?"

Thom answered, "I don't have any plan this time. Other than the support we are giving them, they are on their own."

Flashback Todd — TSIFFTS Mission

I had my plan and just waited for Linus again. I didn't have to wait long, the lights went off, I checked for the IR beam at the top of the fence, it was gone and I silently slipped over the wall. Fifteen seconds later the lights came back on; they were a little softer so they must be on a generator. But it was enough light to let me see the silhouettes of the guards just fine.

I was pissed off by my mistakes and planned on making someone pay. That someone was going to be any guards, dogs or anyone else that got in my way. I slipped an arrow out of my quiver, notched it in my bow, took aim and the closest guard was now history.

I slipped up to the guard and recovered my arrow, then stuffed him under a bush and moved towards Byron's last known position using the trees and bushes as my natural ghillie suit. The lights flickered again and were brighter this time - they must be back on the mains. It was hell patiently waiting for the Linus to fuck with the lights again, but it was imperative to be patient. Just like clockwork, the lights went off again and I jumped up and ran. Two more guards fell under my arrows but for some reason there didn't seem to be any dogs in this area. And where the hell did all the rest of the guards go?

Once again I had to wait while Linus did his dirty work. I wish he could have made the blackouts last longer. I got a different wish but then wished I didn't know. My radio worked for the first time since I left the trailer and I heard, "SBD this is Mothership. Be aware our position has been compromised and we might have to bug out."

I clicked my mic once and hoped they received my affirmation.

Flashback Thom — TSIFFTS Mission

All hell was getting ready to break loose. Jim announced, "Thom the bastard has somehow figured out where we are and it looks like they are sending some guys our way."

I looked at my men and ordered, "Okay guys, time for scoot and shoot. You all know your jobs so let's get moving."

Linus argued, "What about Byron and Todd?"

I replied, "If we all get caught it won't matter about them. Now move your asses."

Jim started tearing things down and prepared to move. Linus, Hammer and I geared up for the upcoming war. I looked at Jim and said, "Get this rig to safety and then see if you can get back online and help us."

Linus added, "Jim, I left all the commands to fuck with the bastard's power stored in the computer. Just execute them and they should work."

He looked at me and said, "Thom, I also fucked up all the police radio channels in the area so we should have some time to take out the trash." I smiled at him and realized how lucky we were to have him on the team.

The three of us bailed out the back, blended into the shadows and watched as Mothership took off like a bat out of hell. Linus said, "Shit Jim can really make her move when he has to."

I answered, "Yeah, but if we don't stop these guys they'll still be able to catch him. We can't let that happen or he will have to destroy Mothership. Linus, you're the best long range shooter we have since Byron's not here, get setup with that Sako and take out their trucks when you see them. Hammer, flank us to the left and get ready to lay down cover fire."

I watched as they moved into position, now all we had to do was wait and I hated waiting.

Flashback Linus — TSIFFTS Mission

I ran about five hundred meters to the right, dropped to the ground and setup the Sako. I wished it was Byron's Barrett in .50 BMG, but I know better than to fuck with a Marine's rifle. It wouldn't matter that we were saving his life - he'd still try to kick my butt. Byron and that rifle had a strange and wonderful relationship: He was strange and the rifle was wonderful. Come to think of it that's the same relationship every Marine I ever met had with his rifle.

That's okay the Sako was .338 Lapua and I could still reach out and touch them easily at 1500 meters. I'm sure they didn't have anything close to this so it would buy Thom and Hammer some breathing room. I pulled three extra mags out of my pack and set them on the ground beside the rifle. Then I fired up the NV scope and prepared myself for the coming firefight.

It didn't take long until I saw the lead truck. Shit! These guys were serious since they sent three trucks. It looked like deuce and a halfs were after us. And they even had machine gun mounts on the top with what looked like fifties. Son of a bitch! So much for hoping to stay out of their range.

At 1600 meters I adjusted the mil dot holdover on the engine compartment of the lead truck and started firing. Nothing happened until the third shot. Then Fuck me! I missed the engine but must have been lucky and hit the driver because the truck careened all over the place, went off the road and rolled over.

These guys were good and figured out where I was and opened up with the fifties, but trying to hit a man on the ground at 1500 meters from a moving truck is a lot harder than shooting the shit out of a big assed truck. And there was no way in hell I was leaving my post until the two remaining trucks were disabled. I must have ranged the other two trucks better because I was able to take out the engines on both of them. I watched them roll to a stop and I was just getting ready to change positions because the truck gunners were getting too damn close to me.

Then I saw a man start running towards the first disabled truck and damn near shot him until I saw he was wearing a kilt!!! Slap me silly! The crazy-assed SOB Hammer was attacking the trucks.

Flashback Hammer — TSIFFTS Mission

Eh'd bin workin' mah way up th' road whaur th' bastards waur comin' frae. Ah kent Thom wooldnae fancy it, but Ah cooldnae jist sit an' bide fur em tae come tae me.

I'd been working my way up the road where the bastards were coming from. I knew Thom wouldn't like it, but I couldn't just sit and wait for them to come to me.

Linus shot th' heel it ay th' thee trucks an' Ah guess th' excitement ay th' moment caught up tae me an' Ah decided tae gang oan th' offensife. Ah guess it main jist be sumfink in mah scottish bluid, but when aam in a battle aw Ah can dae is hink abit winnin'. Ah didne ken hoo mony ay th' bastards thaur waur, but Ah figured em against a body scotsman woods be a fair barnie.

Linus shot the hell out of the three trucks and I guess the excitement of the moment caught up to me and I decided to go on the offensive. I guess it must just be something in my Scottish blood, but when I'm in a battle all I can do is think about winning. I didn't know how many of the bastards there were, but I figured them against one Scotsman would be a fair fight.

Th' bludy bastards waur jumpin' it ay th' back ay th' lorrie lik ants swarmin' it ay an anthill. they waur aw distracted by Linus an' didne see me, sae when Ah cam close dooze Ah started throwin' grenades at th' bastards.

The bloody bastards were jumping out of the back of the truck like ants swarming out of an anthill. They were all distracted by Linus and didn't see me, so when I came close enough I started throwing grenades at the bastards.

Ah ran pest th' lorries, foond cowre an' yelled, "freedom!"

I ran past the trucks, found cover and yelled, "Freedom!"

Flashback Thom — TSIFFTS Mission

Son of a bitch, Linus was doing his job great, but that crazy son-of-a-bitch kilted bastard was attacking the trucks. Who the hell did he think he was William Wallace¹?

¹Sir William Wallace (Scottish Gaelic: Uilleam Uallas; 1272 — 23 August 1305) was a Scottish knight and landowner who is known for leading a resistance during the Wars of Scottish Independence and is today remembered in Scotland as a patriot and national hero.

This wasn't our plan at all. I swore that if I lived through this developing cluster-fuck, I was going to kick his ass so hard he'd have to wear pants to cover the bruises. I jumped up and ran towards the disabled trucks. I was still hearing rounds come from behind me and I knew Linus was giving them hell with his Sako, at least he had the sense to follow orders.

I watched as the closest truck exploded, for a second I was disoriented from the flash. Rounds started dancing around my feet so I dove and rolled and hoped they'd keep missing me. But luck wasn't on my side tonight and I felt the familiar sting of a round hitting my arm. I heard and felt several more explosions as I rolled towards a depression in the ground - the only cover I could see. The rounds were still bouncing around the depression ... once again, up shit creek without a paddle.

Flashback Glen — Kabul Afghanistan

I'd been waiting in the com tent when a call came in from one of my scouts. They'd spotted Jennifer in a little red Suzuki Samurai. While they were chasing her, they had an accident with one of Copeland's damn Blackwater HumVees and Jennifer escaped.

I picked up the phone and called Aaron, he answered and I said, "Aaron you stupid bastard, your men caused us to lose Jennifer again."

He said, "Glen, cut the crap, it was your men that tried to pass our HumVee and ran into us."

I barked, "Aaron, as of right now I am ordering all Blackwater personnel off all the military bases. Then I'm calling DC and having Blackwater recalled from Afghanistan."

The phone was silent for a minute and Aaron said, "Listen Glen, all I'm interested in is the money for completing this contract. How about we agree to work together on this?"

I thought about it and it made sense, with more men searching for Jennifer we had a better chance of finding her. I replied, "Aaron, you have a deal on this as long as you understand Jennifer is not to be hurt in any way when she's captured."

He answered, "Glen the person who hired us would kill me if she was injured so you have a deal."