Chapter 15

Authors note: Any names that resemble the actually names of actually people might be a coincidence.

Flashback Natasha (Jens) — Kabul Afghanistan - Thursday 18 October

I woke up, and at first thought I had a nightmare. But I decided it was all too real when I saw where I was. Linus snored on the other cot and I sat up and felt numb - someone tried to kill us!

I felt like shit this morning! And I looked and (phew!) smelled even worse. I grabbed some fresh clothes and headed over to the jury-rigged shower in the corner. Without curtains there's nothing to keep Linus from seeing me, but I don't give a rat's ass. Anyway, he's still snoring.

The shower chased some of the cobwebs out of my mind, but there is nothing like a good cup of coffee to complete the process. I fired up the coffee pot, grabbed an MRE for breakfast and headed to the computer to do some more analysis on Stockman's data. I wanted the IP address of the bastard who had him send us on the mission.

I immediately knew something wasn't quite right since things had changed slightly from last night. I knew it looked different, but I couldn't really see anything. It seemed like there were a few small holes in the data. I looked over at Linus, since he's the only one who could have made any changes. The changes appear ever so subtle and sneaky - his trademark. The caffeine from the coffee finally kicked in, my mind cleared and I had an idea. Since this is the sorted folder of data and I still had the original, I wondered if he remembered to change the original. I ran a compare on the two folders and found the missing files right away.

They were emails between Stockman and a person called Madam X and once I started reading them I understood why Linus tried to hide them from me. Madam X is the one who directed Stockman to get rid of us - no that's not quite right. They wanted to get rid of Ben but was very upset I almost died. Oh shit! It can't be! Tell me it's not true!

Flashback Linus — Kabul Afghanistan

I'd been awake now for about fifteen minutes and watched Natasha do her magic at the computer. I loved her like my kid sister. Shit! She reminded me of my kid sister, the one the drunk driver killed. I rolled over and slipped into a dream...

Flashback Linus — The death of Jessica

It was such an injustice! Some old drunk bastard (also a wife and child beater) killed my kid sister in a car accident. And as it so frequently happens, just got a slap on the wrist. The American justice system is so fucked anymore it's useless. But where the American justice system failed, the ex-military justice system didn't.

After Jessica's funeral, someone at the wake slipped a USB drive in my pocket. I didn't notice it until later that night as I worked on getting drunk enough to fall asleep. Jessica was fifteen years younger than me and my only family. After Mom and Dad died, I took an early retirement out of the Seals, studied my ass off in college and raised her.

I applied to the computer science department of Carnegie Mellon University in my home town. After passing the SAT tests, I was shocked when I was invited to enroll and gladly accepted. I guess I was a better student than I remembered. So Jessica and I spent the days, each at our individual schools, and the evenings trying to live with each other. Or I should say she tried to live with me.

I'd kick the ass of anyone who said raising a teenage girl is hell, because when I raised Jessica it was heaven. Oh yeah, we had our disagreements, especially over dating and boys. Shit I remembered the first boy she had come to the house to pick her up. I just happened to be in BDUs when I met him at the door. And I also just happened to be practicing dry firing my sniper rifle in the living room while he sat on the couch. He took her on one date and never asked for another one. But that was good because he was a fucking, liberal, prick head, and thought all guns should be licensed. Oh yeah, she was pissed as hell at me, but a year later she could laugh about it and even thanked me for it.

Anyway, I was halfway to drinking myself to sleep when I found the USB drive. It was labeled TSIFFTS¹ on the outside. I stumbled to my computer, and after missing several times plugged the drive in the USB port. It had only one document on the drive. I tried to open the file but it was password protected. I spent the next two hours trying to figure out the password when it dawned on me: I looked at the date and time stamp of the file and realized it was my service number. I entered my service number as the password and the file opened right up.

¹ I found out later this stood for The System Is Fucked — Fuck The System

I read the letter and got even more pissed-off! The first thirty-fucking-five pages were the bastard's police reports, arrest records and slaps on the wrist from fucking liberal judges. The last page just said if I wanted to get justice for my sister's death, go to a certain truck stop tomorrow at 0800 and I would be contacted.

I closed the file and it disappeared from the drive, in fact the drive itself became unreadable. I put the bottle away, set my alarm for 0600, jumped in the bed and thought about the USB drive. I tried to figure out when and who slipped it in my pocket. Then it hit me, one pretty lady gave me a long hug of condolence - it had to be her.

I was glad I'd stopped drinking early the night before, because I only had half a hangover to nurse in the morning when the alarm went off. So I didn't have to crawl into the shower this time, I just sort of stumbled and used the wall to hold me up.

One long shower, two cups of coffee, four ibuprofen and two slices of dry toast later I could almost function. I dressed, slipped a pistol in my coat pocket, headed to the truck stop and took a booth in the back away from the door, as instructed.

A perky waitress came up, "What can I getcha?"

"Coffee, black please, and lot of it."

She smiled, "Rough night?"

"Yeah, my kid sister died. It was her burial and wake yesterday."

She sincerely replied, "Sorry for your loss." And then came back a few minutes later with a pot of coffee and a full breakfast. She slid the plate in front of me and said, "It's on the house, you look like you could use some food."

I replied, "Thank you miss," and she took off.

Breakfast did taste good and I was hungry. I looked at my watch. Since it was almost 0830, I decided it was a mistake or some sort of sick joke. I was just getting ready to leave when a guy sat in the booth across from me. He looked to be in his fifties, had short gray hair, intense blue eyes, was wearing a flannel shirt and blue jeans, a Vietnam Vet ball cap and looked to be very fit. I could tell right away ex-Army, probably Special Forces.

His eyes pierced me as he said with a slightly Southern accent, "Torvalds, you're the most sorry assed looking excuse for an ex-Seal I have ever seen. Look at you: You're fucking over weight, out of shape, feeling sorry for yourself and a worthless piece of shit."

I started to bristle, then he smiled and said, "Don't you try it boy. In your shape I'll kick your butt so hard you'll be whistling Dixie through your ass."

I glared at him and threatened, "Fuck off and die ground-pounder. If I don't get a fucking apology from you immediately, I'm going to rip off your head and shit down your neck."

He chuckled and said, "Good, I got your attention and you still have some fight left in you. I do apologize for my rude way of introducing myself, but I wanted to make sure to get your attention and see if you're still a fighter." He reached his hand across the table and offered, "The name's Thom."

I thought to myself, I'll show this smug bastard as I grabbed his hand and squeezed like hell. He laughed and remarked, "Damn you're softer than I thought." Then he squeezed the hell out of my hand and said, "Now that's a hand shake."

I pulled my hand back, shook it and he said, "We've read some of your posts online and it seems like you're pretty fed up with the system."

He hit my hot button and I almost yelled. "God damn right! The system is so fucked up, I don't even know where to start..."

He interrupted my rant and said, "How about starting with the bastard who killed your sister. He should have been taken out years ago."

"I don't know where you got the information, but if what I saw is true you're fucking right!"

He smiled, "Let's just say I have friends in low places. It's all true and if you check it out you will verify that. Don't you think it's time you get off your ever expanding fat ass and did something again besides mouth off on the Internet?"

"Fuckin' A! I wished I really could do something."

Thom studied me for about a minute and said, "I think you really want to do something other than blow smoke up people's asses on the Internet, and I don't misjudge people very often. If you're serious, then here's what you do. I'm going to leave first, give me two minutes and then meet me out front. If not then this conversation never took place."

He stood up and walked out the front door. I looked at the bill and all it said was, "Sorry for your loss, if you need a friend give me a call." It had her name and phone number. I pulled a twenty out of my wallet, left it on the table and headed out front.

I looked for Thom but couldn't find him until he punched me lightly in the back. I spun around and put him in a wrist lock. Thom laughed at me and said, "Good, you may be older and fatter, but at least you're still fast as greased lightning. Now, that was only one minute thirty seconds, you ever disobey an order of mine again and I'll hit you for real. Hand me the pistol in your pocket, because it sticks out like a sore thumb, and then follow me."

I followed his order and we headed to the back of a semi trailer. He stopped, looked at me and explained, "Just to let you know, this is your last chance to decline. Once I open this door you're either with us or you're dead."

I answered, "Fuck, I'm not living now anyway."

He opened the door and another fit older guy grunted as he helped me up, then he wanded me and said, "Damn Thom, I haven't seen this much Seal blubber since we were in Monterrey watching the sea lions. How long are you going to give me to whip his fat ass into shape?"

Thom chuckled and answered, "Linus, meet your worst nightmare for the next month, this is Byron."

He shakes the hell out of my hand, "Shit one month, I'm going to need at least two."

Thom had closed the door, and said, "Byron, you only get one month so use it wisely."

I'd been looking at the inside of the trailer because it was a complete mobile command center. There were two other guys manning some consoles.

Thom continued, "Just to let you know, this trailer is Emsec² and passive. So we're totally cut off from the outside world. Let me introduce you to some of the crew and let you know why you're here and what we're doing. You've already met Byron and he's going to introduce you soon to Byron's boot camp."

² Emissions Secure — Used to be known as Tempest — blocks all electromagnetic emissions.

One of the other guys came up, "I'm Jim and you're going to wish you were dead when Byron gets hold of you."

The last guy walked up, shook my hand and smiled. I noticed he didn't have a larynx. Thom added, "That's Todd, he's the quiet one of the group."

They all laughed and Todd flipped him off and they laughed even harder - even Todd looked like he laughed. He did a bunch more signing and Byron said, "He just cussed Thom out and let me tell you, when he cusses you out, you know it."

I looked at the four of them, "So you guys are some sort of paramilitary organization?"

Byron chuckled, "No we're a para-justice organization and were the only four members you will know about."

Thom added, "No one knows how many of us there are for security reasons."

I asked, "So what the hell is a para-justice organization?"

Flashback Thom — The death of Jessica

Shit! I'd wanted Linus to work for us for years! I've wanted him ever since he left the Seals to take care of his kid sister. He was one bad-assed Seal who made many of the other Seals I'd met look like choir boys. Then he went to college and became even better - a fucking computer genius. I hated that his sister was killed, but it was fortuitous for us.

I answered Linus' question, "Let's just say we're the good guys who take care of things when the government can't or won't."

I watched as Linus scanned the room, seeing he knew what every piece of equipment was and what it did. He turned and said, "Okay, you were Army probably a Greenie, Byron was a Marine..."

Byron interrupted, "Excuse me, once a Marine always a Marine!"

Linus continued, "Okay, is a Marine, Jim was Navy. But I can't place Todd."

Todd came over, signed and grinned, I translated. "He said you don't want to know because he'd have to kill you."

He looked me in the eyes and said, "Okay, so you guys are part of an underground para-justice organization of unknown size but which has huge resources. And you want me to work for you guys. My guess is the carrot you're hanging in front of me must be the chance to get even for Jessica's death."

I corrected him, "You're almost right, we don't want you to work for us, we want you to work with us."

Linus reached out his hand, I shook it and he said, "Great, let's go kill the fucker who killed Jessica."

Byron laughed and said, "Not until we whip you into shape. I don't want to drag your fat carcass to safety if you get wounded or killed."

Flashback Linus — The death of Jessica

Shit! Byron kicked my ass for the next month. I thought the Seals were tough but he was one sadistic drill instructor. My business got in the way of the training so I sold it — I hated running it anyway and I didn't need the money.

Byron literally and figuratively pounded on me every day and turned me from a tub-o-lard back into a fighting machine. The whole time he used Jessica's death to motivate me. When I couldn't do another rep or run another step he'd say, "Come on Linus one more for Jessica."

Byron banged on my door and woke me up. It was the one month anniversary of Jessica's funeral and I was already dressed, ready and opened the door.

Byron said, "Good to see you're awake, I thought I might have to kick your sorry ass out of bed again."

I replied, "Not today, Jessica's funeral was a month ago and I'm ready."

He looked at me and grinned, "Yes I would say you're ready and it has been a month. Shall we go see what the other guys have been doing for this month?"

"Fuckin' A, then I want to have my carrot on the stick!"

We jumped in my car and Byron drove to a different truck stop. I scanned the parking lot for the trailer but didn't see it. He opened the car door and said, "Follow me."

We walked up to a very different looking rig, Byron opened the back door and there were the other three guys. This time I didn't need any help getting into the trailer.

Thom said, "Well, you certainly look different than you did a month ago. Perhaps I shouldn't have been so insulting the first time we met?"

I shook his hand, this time he pulled his back and shook it as I said, "No, I needed the kick in the ass you gave me so I would stop feeling sorry for myself. Thank you Thom, now let's go get the bastard."

Thom laughed and said, "Just hold your horses. That's going to happen soon enough. First I need to show you what we've done and give you your assignment."

Flashback Thom — The death of Jessica

Well Byron did his usual impeccable job. Linus was a lean, mean, fighting machine. Now I had to control Byron's weapon of destruction so he didn't do something crazy and get himself caught.

"Linus come over to the briefing table." We all sat down and I slid a briefing folder in front of him. I watched as he opened it up.

"Those are the bastard's wife and kids. Once you take care of him, they won't have any way of surviving."

He gave me a very pissed look, "Thom, what the hell are you doing to me. I thought I was going to get my revenge."

I smiled at him, "Do you want your revenge at the expense of creating future problems for America?"

I watched his face as he thought it through and finally he offered, "I will set up a fund to take care of his kids."

Good, even with his grief he still has a moral compass. I answered, "Linus, the money trail will lead the authorities straight back to you. You remember our name?"

He didn't pause, "Yeah, it's The System Is Fucked — Fuck The System."

"Good, let me show you what we've done." I handed him an insurance policy divided into a three way yearly trust fund for the bastard's wife and two kids.

He looked at it, grinned and said, "I hate fucking insurance companies so this is beautiful justice. The bastard's wife and kids will be taken care of after he dies. Okay, tell me where he is so I can go and cash in his insurance policy."

I looked him deep in the eyes, "Torvalds there are hundreds, no thousands of bastards like this who need taken care of. Are you so selfish you only want to do this mission with us or would you like to see justice for the others? Would you provide justice for people that can't do what you're able to do?"

He thought again and replied, "Thom, I feel sorry for the others and they need help too. But I want my justice first."

I grinned and said in my command voice, "You'll get your justice, but we're not going to let you get caught. Do you understand me?"

He snapped to attention, "Yes Sir."

I continued and ordered him, "Good here's the tactical plan. You will precisely follow my orders or Byron will kill you."

Flashback Linus — The death of Jessica

I think these guys misnamed themselves because they are not just a para-justice organization. They are a paramilitary-justice organization. I could tell Thom was serious about Byron killing me if I deviated from orders. And Byron was sneaky enough he could probably do it.

The plan was simple and effective. They'd been tracking the bastard for at least the month I trained and probably longer. We are creatures of habit and slip into a routine and we had all the bastard's routines.

Tonight he would go to the Gasoline Alley bar and get plastered until closing time. Then he would stumble out to his car, drive home, beat and rape his wife and then pass out. What a fucking piece of shit he was. I just needed to patiently wait for tonight. I sacked out on a cot in the trailer so I would be fresh for tonight.

Flashback Byron — The death of Jessica

Thom and I left Linus and headed into the truck stop to talk so we took a booth far in the back.

Thom asked, "Well Byron, is he as ready as he seems?"

I smiled, "He's cocked, and locked and ready to rock. You handled him perfectly so he didn't go after the guy today."

Thom smiled and answered, "You think he'll stay with us after this mission? We can really use his computer skills."

I replied, "Thom, we've given him a reason to live again. We've got him back into shape and shown him he can still do some good for the world. I think he'll stay with us but we won't know for sure until he has blood on his hands."

Thom almost laughed, "After what he did to earn the Navy Cross, one more body will mean nothing to him. I think you're right, I think he's going to stay."

With our conversation being done we sat and enjoyed our coffee.

"Tell me Thom, you ever miss it?"

He looked at me, "I used to miss the hell out of it. That's why I kept signing up to go back. It all changed once I joined you guys. I don't miss it anymore."

I said, "Yeah, I felt the same way until I joined - sort of old and useless. It's funny how that's all changed and how much more young and alive I feel. You know some of the shit we did in Nam I wasn't too proud of, but I feel I've redeemed myself now."

Thom looked at me, "Byron, are you thinking of retiring again?"

I answered him candidly, "Thom, I think about it occasionally, but I will never totally retire. I think with Linus and some of the newer blood we're bringing in, it would be nice to cut back some on our missions. I'd love to spend some evenings sitting on the porch with you watching the sunset over the desert."

Thom laughed, "Yeah old friend, I'm starting to feel my age too. I've always thought about taking some time to sit down and write a story or two. I've heard everyone has at least one good novel in them just waiting to come out."

I couldn't believe it and almost laughed until I realized he was serious, "Thom, you are full of surprises. An old warhorse like you writing books," then I teased, "what would they be romance novels?"

He was taking a drink of coffee and spewed it out of his mouth, "Oh Hell No! They would be action-adventure books."

"Hey Thom, that reminds me, I need a new book to read. Let's take the car and head into town. I hear there's a new author and I want to read his stuff. He's a Marine and writes stories about Marines."

Thom laughed, "Now that's the best joke I've heard in a long time, a Marine who's become an author. I thought you guys could barely speak."

I grinned at Thom, knowing he was kidding. We paid our bill, jumped into the car and went to the bookstore.

Flashback Linus — The death of Jessica

I had the same fucking dream of Jessica dying as I had every time I sleep. If it wasn't so fucking bad I'd laugh about it. As a Seal I killed hundreds of men and didn't have any problems with sleeping. But the death of my sister was a gaping, bleeding, wound in my heart. I didn't know if it would ever heal. At least getting back in shape let's me sleep without resorting to booze or drugs.

The door to the trailer opened. I woke up and Byron and Thom climbed in - they were a couple of crazy old coots but I envied the friendship they shared.

Thom teased me and said, "It's about time you woke up Sleeping Beauty."

I snapped right back, "You notice I slept with my back towards the wall. I didn't trust my ass pointing the other way since the Army is now, 'don't ask, don't tell'."

Thom shot back, "Hey it wasn't that way when I was in the Army and we had our own ways of dealing with those perverts."

Byron laughed his ass off and continued, "We never had those problems in the Marines since all of those types became sailors."

Well that got Jim going and soon the whole trailer was full of military posturing. Finally Todd came over, did a bunch of signing so everyone simmered down and laughed.

I asked, "What did Todd say?"

Jim replied, "He said if we didn't kiss and makeup he was going to kick all our butts."

I looked at Todd and wondered what the fuck he used to do that would get three of the toughest old bastards I'd ever known listening to and obeying him. Someday I need to find out his background - perhaps after this mission they will trust me.

Thom called everyone over to the briefing table and laid out the mission again. "Okay Linus, this is your carrot as you like to call it so you're the primary and Byron is your backup. You two will wait up in the hill behind Gasoline Alley. Ten minutes before closing time we will kill all the power in the area and you two will proceed to the parking lot. They will shut the bar down because of the power failure and he will have to leave early. Linus, when you take him make sure you make it look like a normal robbery, not a professional hit, so be sloppy. Grab his wallet and his watch. Byron, you make sure to plant the fake evidence at the scene. Now are there any questions?"

We didn't have any questions. Byron and I got dressed, headed out to the car and crawled in the back seat. Thom came out and drove the car to the drop off point and said, "Don't fuck up and don't get caught. I'd hate to have to kill two of my friends."

We found a good place to wait and Byron asked, "Are you nervous?"

I'd thought about this a lot and came to the conclusion this bastard needed to die. I replied, "Byron, he's a bastard and he needs to die before he inflicts more damage on anyone else. I know his wife and kids will probably miss him some, but time will heal their wounds." I secretly hoped killing this bastard and enough time would eventually heal my wound.

We waited until the lights for the whole block went out. Byron clapped me on the shoulder, and said, "Let's go."

We went down the hill and crouched by the bastard's car. It wasn't long until he stumbled towards his car, drunk as a skunk and swearing his fool head off. "God damn fucking power company can't even do their fucking job."

I stood up and he slurred, "What the fuck are you doing by my car."

I walked up to him, covered his mouth, drove a knife into his gut and spun it around a bunch of times. He slumped to the ground, dead. For the first time ever, I felt happy about taking a life. I took his wallet and his watch, Byron put some hair and other incriminating evidence on the body.

We returned into the hills. Thom met us as planned, he gave us Tyvek hazmat suits and booties to cover our clothes and we jumped in the car. We headed out of town as he asked, "How did it go?"

Byron replied, "Perfect. Linus precisely followed your orders."

Thom asked me, "And how do you feel Linus?"

I thought for a bit and answered, "Thom, Byron, it's not the same as the others I've killed. I'm concerned because I actually enjoyed this one. The others were just business."

Byron asked, "So are you upset or worried about it?"

I answered, "No, I'm not because he was a pariah, a cancerous tumor to America and like any tumor needed to be surgically removed."

We went to a mortuary in another town. We took off our clothes inside the Tyvek suits and booties, Thom made sure they were cremated.

We changed into business clothes as I looked at Thom and Byron and asked, "Well now what?"

They both smiled at me and Thom said, "Let's get breakfast and talk about it."

That was the start of what I like to call my real life. Fairly often you'd hear about an unsolved death blamed on a mugging, a gang or an unknown party. If you looked really close you might see it was more trash being taken out by The System Is Fucked and we were Fucking The System. The bastard's death didn't bring back my sister, but it did rid the world of one more asshole and maybe gave his wife and kids a chance at a better life with his insurance money.

I felt someone kick me in the ass and it woke me up...

Flashback Natasha (Jens) — Kabul Afghanistan

I kicked Linus in the butt and yelled, "Wake up you sorry sack of shit! You've got questions to answer."

Linus rolled over and looked at me. He had some tears on his face and answered, "Oh, sorry Natasha, I was having a bad dream."

I felt bad for waking him so roughly, but I wanted to know what the hell he was doing hiding the emails from me.

He sat up, suddenly realized what I wanted and asked, "You found them?"

I was angry and said with a stony glare, "Hell yes I found them! You forgot to take them out of the original file folder."

He was upset now, "Shit, what a newb mistake! I'm getting old and tired."

"Linus get a cup of coffee and come over to the computer. I have a couple thoughts I want to run past you. And then I want to do something, but if it proves what I'm thinking is true, I'll need you to protect me from myself."

I went back to the computer but he took his own sweet time. I could tell he didn't want any part of this. He sat beside me in the chair, I looked at him and said, "Linus, I expect you to tell me the total truth on this. Otherwise you're going to have one very pissed off woman on your hands."

"Natasha, I'll try my best to tell you everything."

I was satisfied and continued, "First, I found the emails, did you hide anything else?"

He shook his head and replied, "Nothing else, I didn't have any more time before I went to sleep."

I bit my lip and asked, "I want your honest thoughts on the identity of Madam X."

He looked at me and said, "Natasha you don't want to know my thoughts on this."

I banged my hand on the table and almost shouted, "Linus, I think I know who it is. I just want to see if you feel the same way."

He looked down and said in a whisper, "Natasha, I think it is Evelyn, your mom."

I cried softly. "Yes, that's what I think too. Why Linus, why would she do this to me?" I asked as I broke down and sobbed.

Linus hugged me around the shoulders to comfort me, "Natasha I don't think she approves of Ben."

I answered with more tears, "Why? Linus, it can't be money. Look at all the money Ben and I have made."

Linus held me close, comforted me and said, "Natasha, Evelyn is the sort of woman who's motivated by power, not money. That's why she's pushed Glen so hard. I think she was planning on you and your future husband taking over from Glen while she and Glen went into politics. She realized with Ben only being a Sergeant Major, he would never be able to take Glen's place."