The best thing that ever happened to Scott was when his parents died in a car accident. It wasn't that he didn't love them, or that they had mistreated him. On the contrary, they had been a loving and caring family. Looking back on it years later, though, he realized that the accident set in motion events that made his life far better than he could possibly imagine.

He was seven at the time, too young to be familiar with death, some would say too young to be allowed to experience it. But he did experience it, and he found himself alone for the first time in his life, sad and scared and naked to all the bad emotions of the world.

Fortunately, he had an aunt and uncle who took pity on him and took him in. Wayne and Colleen were a kind and gentle couple, much like his parents, and it helped to ease the pain. The day they brought him home was the day he met his cousin Anna.

He had seen her before, at family reunions and other events, but being three years older than him, she didn't really have much in common with Scott, so they mostly ignored one another. Now that they would be living together, they would have plenty of time to get to know each other.

Even though he was only seven and she was only ten, he could already see that she was a pretty girl. She had the loveliest straight brown hair, almost silky smooth. She had a kind face and a cheerful smile, the kind that made it hard to remain gloomy even in the midst of this tragedy. That smile even touched her hazel eyes, giving them a kind of sparkle as she gazed at him.

She smiled because she had never had a brother before, being an only child like Scott. Though she was a little older and able to understand what had happened, to her the most important consequence of the accident was that she would now have a younger sibling that she could play with. That thought was happy enough to swallow up all the sadness and grief at losing her aunt and uncle.

As soon as her mother, his Aunt Colleen, introduced them, Anna took his hand and led him back to the bedroom where he would be sleeping. They had moved a chest full of toys into that room to give him something to occupy his attention and make him feel at home, and Anna immediately took great delight in showing him all the fun things to play with. She brought out a couple of coloring books and a box of crayons, and set to work coloring the pictures.

Scott didn't feel much like talking, but that didn't stop Anna. She talked enough for both of them, chattering away and telling him all about her school, her friends, the house, the toys, the weather, what she had eaten for lunch, what she wanted to be when she grew up (a forest ranger), her favorite foods, her favorite clothes, her favorite activities, their pet goldfish, their neighbors' tree house, and the finer points of taking care of stuffed animals. Scott listened quietly, not really hearing anything she said but enjoying the sound of her voice. As long as she was talking, it kept out the loneliness and grief of his own thoughts.

They played together all afternoon, Anna taking the lead and Scott just happy to follow along with whatever she wanted to do. Over the next few hours, his confidence grew a little more, and he actually started talking to her. Of course, he could barely get a word in edgewise, but that didn't bother him. Despite his earlier uneasiness and even fear, he gradually grew to like his cousin. She seemed genuinely interested in being his friend, which was what he needed more than anything right now.

Her parents were overjoyed to see the two of them getting along. Although they loved their nephew, they had not been prepared to take care of him, and they knew it would be a challenge for everyone in the family. They had taken Anna aside that morning and asked her to be especially nice to Scott, and it looked like she had taken the responsibility to heart. It certainly helped to ease what could have been an uneasy tension due to his presence. Anna could have felt bitter or jealous of any attention her parents paid to him, but instead she took to him immediately.

Unfortunately, bedtime eventually arrived, and that meant no more playing with toys, no more talking and laughing with Anna, no more doing anything to distract him. Ten minutes after his aunt tucked him in and gave him a kiss on the forehead, he broke down crying. During the day there were too many other things to occupy his attention, but now lying here alone with his thoughts, the full weight of the tragedy bore down upon him and he couldn't stand it. Usually when he felt sad or lonely or had a nightmare he crept into his parents' bed, where his mother would snuggle with him and he would feel safe and warm and protected. But even that small comfort had been robbed from him.

He had been sobbing like that for twenty minutes when he heard a knock at the bedroom door. It opened a crack, and Anna poked her head in. "What's wrong?" she asked, probably not the smartest question at the time, but being ten years old, she could be forgiven.

"I want Mommy," sobbed Scott.

Anna strode over to the bed and stood beside it, reaching out to stroke his cheek for a moment. "I know you miss her," she told him. "I wish I could bring her back."

Scott continued to weep, and Anna ran her hand gently over his back, trying to think of some way to comfort him. Suddenly, she had an idea.

"Come on," she said, grabbing his hand.

He stared up at her with surprise.

"Do you want to sleep with me in my bed tonight?" she asked.

He continued to stare for a few seconds, then nodded shyly. He sat up, and Anna rose to her feet. Holding his hand, she led him out the door and down the hall to her own bedroom. Once there, she climbed into bed and lay down. Scott followed her, and she drew up the covers over both of them. Scott scooted up next to her, threw his arm around her and sobbed into her chest. Anna continued to stroke his back tenderly until he felt the warmth and closeness of his cousin overcome the tears. Although he barely knew this girl, lying here with her felt so soothing and comfortable that for the moment, it made everything all right.

He fell asleep in that position, with his head against her chest and listening to the tranquil beating of her heart.

When Aunt Colleen came to wake them in the morning and found them lying there together, she stood in Anna's doorway smiling for a few minutes, watching them sleep. It really touched her to see them so affectionate with each other. The death of her brother and sister-in-law had hit her hard, but she knew her own pain was nothing compared to what Scott must be going through. Now it looked like he had found someone to help him through that pain, and it made her happy. Anna had always been a caring and sweet girl, just the type of friend that Scott needed.

That day they made preparations for Scott to start in a new school. Anna was happy to ride with him on the bus and introduce him to all of her friends. They were all just as cheerful and bubbly as Anna, but Scott was still a little timid and shy, so he didn't really talk much with them.

He managed to get through his first day of school all right; his teacher was nice and understanding, especially when Anna brought him to his class and had a talk with the teacher about what had happened. Mrs. Harner made a special effort to be nice and gentle with him in her class.

That night after putting his pajamas on, instead of lying down in his own bed he followed Anna to her bedroom. Aunt Colleen was a little hesitant about letting him sleep with his cousin a second night in a row; the girl might find it uncomfortable after all. But Anna smiled and patted the bed next to her, and he hopped in and snuggled up to her. Aunt Colleen just smiled and sighed, then tucked them in and gave them both a goodnight kiss.

From that point forward, things grew better daily for Scott. He was beginning to make new friends in school, and after school Anna always played with him. The scary new life turned out not to be scary after all. With his pretty older cousin looking after him, he didn't have to worry so much.

He continued to sleep in her bed with her. She was so soft and warm, and he felt so safe in her arms. This ten-year-old girl had become something of a surrogate mother to him, much better for him than any grown woman because, as a child herself, she could understand and relate to him. Besides, she wasn't anywhere near as scary as grownups. So he latched onto her, and from that point forward his world revolved around his beautiful cousin Anna.

A week later, he worked up the courage to tell her how he felt. As he lay in bed with her one night, with his head in its usual position on her chest, he glanced up at her beautiful, kind face. He couldn't stand it any longer. He had to let her know.

"Anna," he said.

"What is it, Scott?" she asked.

"I ... I love you."

Her face lit up with a smile, and he felt wonderful. He would have been satisfied with a neutral reaction, with a simple "that's nice," but she was actually glad that he had told her that.

"I love you too, Scott," she replied, then kissed him on the forehead.

Now his happiness was complete. Not only did his beautiful cousin love him, she had actually kissed him! All the hurt and sorrow that his parents' deaths had caused him immediately melted away. As long as Anna loved him, he could withstand anything the world could do to him.

The weeks of bliss stretched out into months, and then into years. The bedroom that was supposed to be his sat unoccupied as he continued to sleep with Anna. Those were happy times for him, full of peace and joy as he played with Anna during the day and slept with her during the night. The two became best friends, closer even than most brothers and sisters. They were inseparable, mainly because anywhere Anna went, Scott wanted to go too. Maybe she didn't feel quite so strongly about being with him all the time, but at the very least she didn't mind him tagging along.

The summers were the best, because it meant no school to get in the way of them spending time together. Sometimes he would go whole weeks without being out of her presence for more than a few minutes at a time. Aunt Colleen watched them with amusement, glad that they got along so well together. After the novelty of having him around wore off, he fit right in with the family. She had long since stopped thinking of him as her nephew, and now thought of him as her son. It looked like Anna thought of him as a brother too.

For Scott, the world was just perfect, and it looked like it would remain so forever. As long as he had Anna, nothing could ruin things for him.

Not long after his ninth birthday, his world came crashing down around him for the second time in his life.

Anna was twelve then, and Scott couldn't help but notice certain changes in her. He had always had a vague idea that little girls eventually turned into grown women and little boys eventually turned into grown men, but until then, that had always been in the "future," which to him simply meant a completely different world. For two years Anna and Scott had been best friends, just little children that would never grow up.

But one day the future arrived, and his childhood ended in tears.

The previous night, he had curled up in bed with her, laying his head down on her chest like he usually did and fell asleep to the sound of her heartbeat. Lately she had started growing softer in that region, but he didn't really think much of it. It just meant she made a more comfortable pillow. She had also been growing prettier, but he didn't think much of that either because to Scott, she had grown more beautiful every day since he met her anyway.

But that night, there was another difference, and not a happy one. Usually she put her arms around him and held him to her, but tonight, she just lay there with her arms at her side. He didn't let it bother him; as long as he could still lie there with her he was content. He decided to ask her about it though.

"Anna?" he whispered.

"What is it, Scott?"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. I'm just sleepy."

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you too. Now go to sleep."

He smiled. As long as she still loved him, everything would be all right.

The next morning at the breakfast table, he received a terrible shock. They sat together with his aunt, who was just as kind and friendly as the day he had met her.

"Mom?" said Anna.

"Yes dear?"

"I was just thinking ... I think ... well, Scott's really starting to grow up now."

"Yes, I know," his aunt smiled. "It won't be long now before he turns into a fine young man."

"Well ... you know how he's slept in my room since ... since we took him in?"

"Yes."

"I don't think that's such a good idea anymore."

Scott was stunned. He stared at his cousin, unable to believe what he had heard. Was she really suggesting that they separate like that?

"You know how much he adores you," his aunt replied.

"Yes, but it's been almost two years. Surely he's gotten over it by now, and he's old enough to sleep in his own room. Besides, I need my privacy."

His aunt sighed. "Yes, I suppose you do. Scott's not the only one growing up." Then she turned to him. "How about it, Scott?" she asked. "Doesn't having your own room sound fun?"

"Anna," he said. "Don't you want to sleep with me?"

"You don't need to sleep with anyone, Scott," she replied. "You're not a baby anymore."

Her words shocked him. In one instant, she had shattered his childhood and changed his whole universe. She had done nothing less than announce that the future had arrived. He stood on the edge of it looking across the vast landscape, and what he saw was not pleasant. In this new world, Scott had to sleep in his own bed, Anna found his company more annoying than enjoyable, and they were likely to continue to drift apart the further they traveled into that world.

"Scott?" asked his aunt. "What do you think about sleeping in your own room from now on?"

He glanced at Anna, who seemed unconcerned with whatever he decided. Just last night she had told him she loved him, and now she was just brushing him off. What did that mean?

It meant her feelings for him had changed, he decided. She was no longer the Anna that he remembered, but a selfish meanie who didn't care about his feelings at all. Well, if she was going to be like that, he would too.

"She's right," he said coldly. "I'm not a baby anymore."

From that point forward, that became his catchphrase. After school that day when Anna asked him if he wanted to walk down to the park with her and buy some ice cream from the ice cream stand, he replied, "Ice cream is for babies, and I'm not a baby anymore." He then went into his room and locked the door behind him, leaving her standing in the hallway with a look of shock on her face.

He came out that evening for dinner, but he didn't feel like talking. When Anna offered to pass him the mashed potatoes, he said, "I can do it myself. I'm not a baby anymore." She gave a frustrated sigh, but let him reach across the table to retrieve the potatoes.

For all his show of apathy, it still hurt inside. For the second time since he could remember, he cried himself to sleep that night. It felt a lot like losing his parents, but in one way it was even worse. What had happened to them was not their fault; despite going away and leaving him alone, they had not deliberately abandoned him. They had loved him right up to the end. With Anna it was different. She had cast him aside, discarding him because she didn't love him anymore. Worse still, there was no one to come rescue him from his grief this time. The door to his new bedroom remained closed all night, and he was forced to sleep all by himself.

In the morning he felt a little better, and seeing Anna at the breakfast table merely strengthened his resolve. She was right; it was time for him to grow up. He couldn't just hang around his cousin all the time. He needed to be independent, to do things for himself. He didn't need her anyway; from now on, Scott would be his own best friend. He would show her. He would prove to her that he was completely over her.

His resolve lasted a week and a half. During that time he mostly ignored her, playing with his own toys and declining whenever she asked if he wanted to play with her. When she asked him if he was angry at her for some reason, he merely replied, "Why should I be angry? I'm not a baby anymore." It was a somewhat cryptic answer, but she didn't press the issue.

Then one night when he was sitting in bed taking solace from one of his favorite books, a collection of short fantasy stories with lots of pictures, he had an epiphany. Several of the stories told of brave princes or knights who rescued beautiful princesses from dragons or ogres or evil wizards. In the end of each one, the princess fell in love with her hero and they got married and lived happily ever after.

Could that be it? he wondered. Maybe he had found the reason why she no longer loved him. When she said he wasn't a baby anymore, it hadn't been meant to hurt his feelings, but to hint at what she needed him to be. She needed a man, not a baby, someone strong and brave who could come to her rescue. How could she love someone small and weak, who couldn't even go to sleep at night without cuddling with someone?

So that was it. He would simply have to rescue her from something, to prove his strength and courage. Scott could be like a knight in one of those stories. How hard could it be, really?

He set the book aside, turned out the light, and lay back down on the bed. For the first time since moving into this room, he went to sleep with a smile on his face.

Unfortunately, the modern world had a severe shortage of dragons and ogres and evil wizards. Anna was really in no danger at all, and it appeared that his plan was doomed to failure. When the next day passed and the opportunity never arose, it didn't bother him; he didn't really expect it to happen in a day anyway. When a week passed, he started to feel a little uneasy. When a month passed, he realized it wouldn't be as simple as he thought. Still, he wouldn't give up without a fight. The knights in the stories would never surrender no matter how long it took.

For four years he looked for an opportunity to prove his love. It had to be something big, something grand, something heroic even. It couldn't be something small, like giving her flowers or silly things like that. He needed to do something so completely overwhelming that she would have no choice but to throw herself at his feet in gratitude.

During those years, she grew into a beautiful and popular girl at school. He felt a stab of jealousy every time he saw her talking with a boy, but fortunately she never developed more than a casual relationship with any of them. He dreaded the thought of her coming home one day and announcing excitedly that she had a boyfriend. If that happened, he didn't know how he would be able to go on.

Toward the end of those four years, he started noticing other girls as well. Some of the girls in his class at school, toward which he had previously felt indifferent at best, now became much more interesting. He had his fantasies about a few of them, but they were nothing like what he felt for his cousin. Anna had rescued him from grief and despair. She had been his playmate and his friend, someone he could trust and care for and look up to.

His tenth, eleventh, twelfth, and thirteenth birthdays all passed without an opportunity presenting itself. Anna was sixteen now, and if he didn't do something soon, she was likely to start dating. Once that happened, he might never get his chance. She would find some handsome boy to sweep her off her feet, and then she would forget all about her cousin.

The day she brought home a boy she knew from school, Scott nearly flew into a rage. She introduced the boy as her friend Mike, who smiled and shook Scott's hand. Scott managed a friendly "nice to meet you," then headed back to his room to assault his pillow. How could she do such a thing? How could she bring home a boy, an ugly and skinny wimp who would probably run away screaming at the first sight of a dragon? Scott was her cousin, not this stupid creep. How could she just fall for some kid she just met, when Scott had remained loyal and faithful to Anna for six years?

Fortunately, nothing developed between Mike and Anna. He had come over to study with her because they were in the same math class and had a big test coming up, but that was it. The crisis had been averted, but it had been too close. Next time, Scott might not be so lucky. He had to find some way to prove his love soon, or she would fall for some guy who wouldn't be half as good for her as Scott was.

Then one Friday after school, the opportunity arrived. Aunt Colleen and Uncle Wayne had left for a weekend getaway earlier that day, which meant he would get to spend two whole days alone with his cousin. It was the first time they left her in charge without hiring a babysitter, so he hadn't had a chance to be alone with her in a long time. He was really looking forward to the weekend.

When the last bell rang, Scott hurried out the door. Since the junior high and high school were only a couple of blocks apart and their house was less than ten blocks away from either, sometimes Scott and Anna walked home together. Although they never planned it that way, there was a certain intersection midway between the two schools where they often happened to meet if neither of them was running late. Then they would finish the last five blocks of the trip together.

Scott looked forward to seeing Anna again; with the whole weekend alone together, maybe something would happen between them. He really didn't know what that might be-- it could be something as simple as a conversation, or perhaps they would walk down to the park and throw around a football, or maybe they would go out and see a movie together. Now that Anna had her driver's license, it opened up all kinds of opportunities that hadn't been there before. Whatever happened, Scott just knew that spending this time alone with his cousin would have some beneficial effect on their relationship.

He was so happy that he nearly whistled as he walked to the familiar intersection. He just couldn't wait to meet with Anna so that they could begin their weekend together.

When he turned the corner, he froze. Anna was there, but not alone. Five tough and scary-looking boys stood around her. They were older, probably college aged. Anna wore a frightened look on her face, and for good reason. One of them stood behind her, pinning her arms behind her back. One of the others had his hand on her chest, fondling her through her blouse.

Scott gritted his teeth, feeling rage building inside of him. How dare they touch Anna like that! Before he knew what was happening, he found himself charging toward them, prepared to do whatever it took to protect her.

He launched himself at the one who had groped her, throwing himself into his midsection in a flying tackle. Caught off his guard, the boy flew to the ground with Scott on top of him. Scott's fists pounded into the boy's face over and over again, until blood began pouring out of his nose.

Suddenly, two pairs of hands grabbed Scott and pulled him off of the boy. They hauled him to his feet, and he realized he had just made enemies of five much older and much stronger boys.

The one he had tackled rose up. "You broke my nose, you fucker!" he shouted, then clenched his fist and rammed it into Scott's stomach. He doubled over in pain, but the two who held him lifted him up again just in time for another strike. Three, four, five times the boy struck, until Scott slipped from the grasp of his enemies and fell to the ground, writhing in agony.

But the ordeal wasn't over yet. A moment later he felt the tips of what felt like dozens of shoes kicking him all over. His head, his stomach, and his back all received blows from the boys. He tried to ward off the attacks with his hands, but there were too many of them. With the wind knocked out of him, he had no time to catch his breath between blows to his stomach, and he felt himself slipping into unconsciousness from lack of air. His strength gave out and he collapsed helplessly into a motionless heap.

After a few more minutes of assault, the attacks stopped. Then he heard mumbled words through the haze of his pain.

" ... not breathing..."

" ... we killed him!"

" ... get out of here!"

Then the sound of running feet gradually vanishing into the distance, followed by the feel of gentle hands lifting him up off of the hard pavement. He felt his body pressed against something soft and warm.

The unconsciousness fled from him, but it was replaced by the painful aftermath of the beating. He couldn't help himself, but broke down into tears. To his horror, when he opened his eyes he found himself cradled in the arms of his cousin Anna and staring up at her face, who seemed close to tears herself. For years now he had wanted to prove himself to her, to show her that he was no longer a baby, and now here he was, crying in her arms. He had been unable to defend her, unable to fight off the boys who were molesting her. All he had accomplished was getting himself beaten up, and now she would never think of him as anything but a crybaby.

She hugged him to her chest for the longest time, but he was too mortified to allow himself to enjoy it. Any other time he would have loved to have her embrace him, but not like this. Not with her as a maternal figure comforting a crying child who had fallen and skinned his knee.

Eventually though, the pain subsided to a dull ache. He managed to sit up, and Anna slipped an arm around his waist.

"Scott," she said. "Can you walk? I'm scared that the boys might come back."

He nodded, and tried to rise to his feet. Unfortunately, the slightest movement brought the pain back with full force, so he couldn't stand. He tried three times in vain before Anna had him put his arm over her shoulder, then helped him to her feet. That was the most humiliating of all. He had to rely on her strength to do something as simple as standing.

Eventually he was able to rise to his feet, and although every movement shot pain through his body, he managed to put one foot in front of the other and make his way, with his cousin's help, toward their house. Five blocks was normally a negligible journey, but today it might as well have been a continent away when every step in itself was a tremendous accomplishment, made worse by the thought of what Anna must think of him. He was supposed to be the strong one; she was supposed to come to him for strength. But without her help, he wouldn't be able to stand, much less walk. He had been reduced to the child he had been when they first met, the child crying for his mommy.

When they finally made it home, he plopped down on the couch, wincing from the pain in his stomach but relieved that he could now rest. Anna sat down beside him, leaving her arm around his shoulders.

"How do you feel?" asked Anna.

"I'm fine," he grumbled. It was a lie, of course. The truth was that he was sore, tired, angry, and humiliated. He had actually cried in front of Anna. His cousin, for whom he would do anything in the world, had seen him bawl like a baby. Now she would never think of him as anything else ever again.

"You're not fine," she insisted. "No one would be after taking a beating like that."

"Yeah, I really took a beating," he said. "Little Scott got himself beat up. Couldn't even defend himself in a fight."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm not a baby anymore!" he snapped, and she stared at him in shock. Immediately he wished he hadn't been so sharp with her. It wasn't her fault. He was the one who had proven himself unable to protect even himself, let alone her.

"Scott," she said meekly. "Please tell me what's wrong."

He sighed. "It's just that ... when I saw those guys bothering you, it made me so mad. I wanted so much to be able to come to your rescue. To beat them up or at the very least make them run away so they would stop bothering you. But instead I just made a fool out of myself."

"How did you make a fool out of yourself?" she asked. "By losing a fight? You think that makes you weak or something?"

"Doesn't it?"

"There's no shame in being outnumbered. And there's no shame in being outclassed. No matter who you are, there's always someone who can beat you in a fight. You were just unlucky enough to run into five of them."

"You don't have to apologize for me. I know I screwed up."

"You did not screw up, Scott!" Anna insisted.

"Yes I did. I tried to rescue you--"

"Which you did."

He glanced at her in surprise. "What?" he asked.

"You did rescue me," she repeated. "If you had just left everything alone, who knows what those guys would have done to me? Maybe they would have just felt me up a little and then left, but maybe not. It terrifies me to think just how much worse it might have been. But even though you had no hope of winning the fight, you attacked those guys anyway. And now you're the one who's hurt, not me."