Chapter 6: Reassurance

Again I woke up to the sound of Kimmy sobbing against my chest, and I knew she was having another nightmare.

"Kimmy?" I said, gently nudging her awake. Her eyes opened, and she stared up at me with fear.

"Daddy!" she cried. "Please make him go away! I don't want to go back with him."

"Who?" I asked.

"Troy!" she sobbed.

"Troy's not here, honey. He's in prison. I promise he'll never hurt you again."

"But I saw him at the window!" she insisted. "He said he came to take me back."

Although I knew it was all in her imagination, the thought gave me a sudden chill. I glanced over at the window, and the closed blinds confirmed that there was no way she could have seen Troy there.

"It was just a bad dream, sweetheart," I told her gently.

"But it was so real!" She buried her head in my chest and continued to sob, and nothing I could do seemed to help. I spoke soothing words to her, I hugged her to me, I gently stroked her hair, but to no avail.

Then I remembered last night, when she had had a similar nightmare. She had done something that had calmed her, something I was a little reluctant to try. But if it would help...

I made up my mind. I rolled her over onto her back and lay beside her on the bed. Then I leaned in and kissed her on the lips. Her eyes opened wide with surprise for a second, then she closed her eyes and relaxed. I could feel the tenseness draining from her body as I continued to kiss her, and I realized that it was affecting me in a similar manner. I just wanted to lie here and kiss her luscious lips all night.

But that would be wrong. A simple kiss between father and daughter, especially to chase away the bad dreams, was perfectly fine, though this kind of kiss was pushing the boundaries. If I were to continue, though, I would be stepping way over the line.

When I drew back after about thirty seconds, Kimmy sighed, a contented smile on her lips and her eyes still closed. "Oh Daddy!" she breathed. Then she lay there unmoving, and I realized that she had fallen asleep again. I continued to watch her for a few minutes, this beautiful little girl, this precious angel that had so recently come into my life. She was my darling, my sweetheart, my daughter.

I lay awake for the longest time, just holding her in my arms. It felt so nice to be near her like this, to lie here in bed with her and just stare at her adorable little face. She still had the remains of that smile on her face as she slept peacefully, and I felt joy in the thought that I had been the one to give it to her.

The taste of her sweet mouth lingered, and I licked my lips, savoring it. I could get used to that. My god, she was the most kissable girl I had ever known! I found myself almost wishing that she would never get over the nightmares, so that I could comfort her like that every night. But no, that was selfish of me, to want to cause her suffering just for my own pleasure. If I allowed myself such thoughts, I would be a horrible person. The nightmares would soon end, and I would only encourage their disappearance. Still, I could enjoy it when they did happen.

After staring at her lovely face for an eternity, I lay back on the bed and closed my eyes, cuddling her in my arms. I was glad that she still wanted to sleep in my bed even though she had one of her own. She had said that she would sleep with me until I found a girlfriend, and right now, that was the last thing I wanted to do. All I wanted was to be with my daughter.

In the morning, I awoke to a strange and erotic feeling in my shorts. I lay there half-asleep for a while, wondering what it could be but lacking the willpower to move long enough to find out. Kimmy lay there in my arms still, her head resting on my chest and her warm body pressed up against mine.

Part of me wanted to just lie there with her for as long as possible, basking in the delightful softness of her body, the rhythmic rising and falling of her breast, the calming sound of her breathing, even her subtle yet sweet fragrance.

But there was still that feeling between my legs, and something in the back of my mind told me that it was not right.

Kimmy sighed and shifted her position, and that feeling momentarily intensified. Suddenly, I knew what it was. My heart began to pound in my chest as I realized she had her hand down my shorts, and was grasping my cock!

Had she done it deliberately? Had she given in to those feelings that she had admitted she had toward me? Or was it something unconscious, something that just happened while she slept? The latter was much more likely, but just the thought of the former...

Whatever the reason, I had to put an end to it before she woke. I reached down and gently but firmly tried to pry her hand off, but she only squeezed it more tightly.

I couldn't believe how good it felt. Every motion of her tiny little hand sent waves of pleasure through me. The fact that she was my own daughter, rather than disgusting me gave it an erotic edge that wouldn't otherwise be there. The forbidden nature of it only served to heighten my lust.

If she didn't release me soon, I was liable to go off, and then we would have a much worse problem on hand. I tried once again to pry her hand off, but to no avail. It was as if she didn't want to release me, no matter how hard I tried.

Suddenly her eyes opened and she lifted up her head. I froze in shock, completely lost as to what I should do.

"Good morning, Daddy," she said sweetly.

"Um ... good morning," I replied.

She yawned, then lay her head back down on my chest. Then she glanced down and saw where her hand was.

Finally she withdrew it, both to my relief and disappointment. Part of me had wanted her to keep it there, and in fact to do so much more.

"Sorry," she giggled. "I didn't realize where I had my hand. I hope you weren't embarrassed."

"Maybe just a little," I admitted. "I guess I was more embarrassed for you."

"Why?" she asked. "It's not like it's the first one I've touched before."

"But I'm your father!"

"Yeah, I guess that makes it wrong," she sighed.

"Well, let's just forget it happened," I told her, and she nodded.

She yawned again, then kissed me on the chest.

"Daddy?" she said, glancing up at me with those gorgeous brown eyes of hers. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course, honey," I smiled.

"Last night..." she said. "When I was having my nightmare..." She looked down, and I could tell she was a little nervous about asking the question.

I reached out and stroked her cheek affectionately. "It's all right, dear," I told her. "Go ahead and ask me."

"Well ... why did you kiss me like that?"

I withdrew my hand and sighed. I had wondered whether she would even remember it, or if she did, if she would want to talk about it.

"You're right," I said. "I shouldn't have done it."

"That's not what I meant," she hurriedly insisted. "It's all right. You can kiss me like that if you want."

"Really?" I asked, surprised.

"Really," she confirmed. "I liked it. A lot. I was just wondering why you did it. I mean, it wasn't like a daddy kiss at all. It was more like a boyfriend kiss. When I closed my eyes, for just a moment I could imagine that you were my boyfriend."

"That's why I shouldn't do it," I told her. "I only kissed you because the previous night, you kissed me like that, and it seemed to calm you down. Last night the nightmare must have been really bad because nothing else I tried could make you feel better. So I gave it a shot, and it worked."

"Oh," she replied, and I could see the tiniest trace of disappointment on her face. I wondered what that meant. I leaned in and kissed her, this time innocently on the forehead. She sighed and curled up in my arms.

"Daddy?" she asked again.

"Yes, sweetheart."

"Is it wrong that I liked it so much?"

That was a hard question to answer. If she was committing some kind of crime just by enjoying that kiss, then many of my thoughts so far were felonious. But neither of us could help it, and perhaps that was an answer in and of itself.

"I don't think you can really call feelings wrong. You don't have any control over them, after all. It's acting on them that's wrong sometimes. For instance if we kept kissing each other like that."

"But what if I have another dream about Troy?"

That was a very good point. Last night it was the only thing that helped her to get over the bad dream.

"I suppose ... I suppose it's all right to make an exception like that," I told her. But only to help calm her down after the nightmare, I told myself unconvincingly.

"So does that mean you liked it too?" she asked.

"Yes, sweetheart," I answered, feeling an obligation to tell her the truth since she had been so truthful with me. "You're a beautiful girl, Kimmy. Any man would love to kiss you like that."

"Troy didn't," she said, looking away.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up--"

"No, it's okay. I know you don't want to hear this, but sometimes I just need to talk about it with someone I trust. I just haven't ever had anyone like that before."

"You can tell me as little or as much as you want, Kimmy. Whatever you feel comfortable with."

"Well, Troy never really kissed me. Whenever he took me, it was always about his pleasure, never about mine. To him I was just a toy to be used. If I ever did anything he didn't like, he ... he hit me. He made me do things ... I ... I'm sorry. I thought I could talk about it, but..."

"It's all right, sweetheart," I reassured her. "Try not to think about it. That's all in the past now. You're safe with me. I'll never hurt you like that, and I'll never let anyone else hurt you either."

"But Daddy, there's something I'm worried about."

"What is it, Kimmy?"

"Well, it's kind of embarrassing. I'm almost scared to bring it up, but I need to tell somebody."

"I promise I won't get mad or think any less of you, if that's what concerns you."

"I know. It's just hard to say."

"It's up to you. If you want to tell me, it's all right."

"Well, I ... I'm kind of worried, with all of the things Troy did with me, I mean I've been ... well ... sexually active."

"I know, and it doesn't bother me. It wasn't your fault, after all, so there's absolutely no reason to feel guilty."

"But that's not it. I was just wondering if maybe there's something wrong with me because ... because I've never had an orgasm."

That surprised me. One look at her body was enough to see that she was already mature enough to be capable of those feelings, so it wasn't that she was too young. And she was certainly experienced enough.

"It's probably because Troy was so horrible to you," I said. "Like you said, sex was never for your pleasure, but always for his."

"But maybe that means I'm broken. Maybe because of that, now there's something wrong with me, and I'll never be able to feel an orgasm."

"I don't think that's the case," I reassured her. "You just need a positive experience to get you over all of the negative ones you had. You need someone to make love to you. Really make love to you, not just have sex. Someone who will treat you with respect and kindness and gentleness and love."