Chapter 7: Just A Boy Whose Meant To Sing This Song

I read my father's note again as they prepared to lower the casket. Elis was right; you had to be stupid or willing yourself to ignorance to believe the lies Candice and I told. Looking at Catherine, I added a third option--you had not care about me. My father did not qualify.

"I chose my wife and daughter because you needed less protection. You had Candice; they only had me. I could protect you by keeping Catherine and Ahmo from discovering your abilities."

My dad knew and he kept quiet.

"I ask only that you do what's best to protect them, my son, even if it means staying away."

One thing he did not have to worry about. Ahmo came out of the hospital not remembering me. The memory loss was so specific that I thought it a lie. The one time Catherine let me speak to my sister convinced me otherwise. Morgan, Elis, and Erin confirmed it. My sister's amnesia excised me completely from her life. Morgan described some of the mental gymnastics it took to accomplish it. Ahmo didn't remember what we did to Erin, but her friendships with Elis and Morgan were still intact.

My adopted mother was already making plans to leave Honus when Ahmo graduated. Ahmo would be taking a year off before college because her school choice changed so they could live on the west coast. My relationship with Catherine had never been good, but it still surprised that she was intent on cutting me out of Ahmo's and her life as totally as I had been from my sister's memories.

Candice spent a lot of time apologizing; for my father's death, for Ahmo's memory loss, for Catherine treating me like disposable luggage, for not figuring out that my dad knew, for not pushing me to act before Ahmo got hurt, for ... My friend's apologized a lot too. I might have run away if not for Erin. She behaved as if nothing changed, acting the part of my girlfriend in public and a blackmailed sex slave in private. At times, it drove me fucking crazy, but most of the time being treated like the same person as before I lost my father and sister gave me a place to hide.

The priest's voice droned on. It felt like a better part of the Honus population was there to say their goodbyes and watch the effect of the train wreck. If Thorne The Second flashed his teeth with that smug smile, I was going to break both his arms and legs. Diana LaDon stood front and center to a squad of agents from the DEA and FBI. They were paying respect to the fallen and keeping a careful eye on the living.

Diana kept glancing at me. Agent Tan wasn't present thankfully; I'd break his arms and legs too if he looked at me the wrong way. I made a choice in the living room so I could not hold those thirty minutes, which might have made a difference, against anyone but me, although I could fault them for underestimating Black Road and failing to do what they said, protect my family.

"Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust."

People were staring at Catherine and Ahmo. Thorne had been spending an inappropriate amount of time at our home. Catherine felt safe with Ahmo no longer on my side and the onus of my father's death clearly on the drug war. She could claim the protection of a fallen hero's widow and get away with what she wanted long enough to leave town. The whispers of abandoning me were of no consequence to Catherine. She put her concern for Ahmo's damaged mind in the face of any one who dared criticize her.

I slipped behind the FBI agents when I caught Ahmo staring. My friends tried to get her to remember. Ahmo could deal with it day to day because she didn't know the hole existed but confronting her with the injury caused panic attacks. Morgan, Elis and Candice backed off like I asked. I knew the unexplained; I was the unexplained. She didn't remember being raped by the biker gang, if forgetting me was the price of not living with that trauma, I would pay it.

The low throat roar of motorcycles interrupted the priest's voice. I walked out of the crowd of people until I could see the bikers pulling up at a distance. Candice and Diana came up to stand on either side of me.

"This is foul even for these animals, ' Agent Diana whispered. Candice nodded brusquely.

There was nothing in the news about the attack on the Black Road house, except as an FBI raid looking for Ahmo. Agent Tan got cast as the hero who found my sister and wouldn't leave her side until they arrived at the hospital. Since they were only a minute behind when I dropped off Ahmo and I didn't stick around, the story stuck as the truth.

"Stay here," I told the women.

One of the larger bikers walked towards us. I moved at an intercept angle. He smiled at the attention from the crowd. His eyes moved from the gathering to my eyes, letting me know the FBI agents had given us a private moment.

"I came to pay our respects." He held out a beautiful arrangement of white flowers. His eyes did not match the sentiment. "It was an unfortunate incident for everybody involved."

No Black Road member in the house survived the raid. They went down with a couple of FBI agents as company. I recognized the man in front of me as one of their leaders. He would have been at the ambush that killed my father and headed out of town so as not to get caught up in the repercussions. The FBI and I had cleaned up behind him, killing anyone who could implicate him.

"My dad took Ahmo out on a father/daughter thing every month," I said. "Usually a Friday night and a Saturday. He was trying to make up for the time he spent with me."