Chapter 4: The Disappointed Faces Of Your Peers

"It doesn't hurt?" Erin asked.

"Tavi!" Morgan hissed.

I turned from studying a couple of black kids on one corner and a pair of transfer students on another. Both groups did a very bad job of hiding the fact they were watching Morgan, Ahmo, and Erin. They were completely oblivious to each other and me.

"Here he is!" Ahmo said as Elis walked out of the school building. "I'm so glad you convinced him to help with the Senior Planning Committee, Morgan."

Convinced? More like put him in a choke until he swore not to let her suffer through another meeting without a sane person in the room. Elis got caught up with couple of other boyfriends who were dragged to the meeting; something about lighting at the next Senior Crappy Event.

"Look, Elis." Erin raised my hand up for to see. "He's not wincing when I do it anymore."

Elis glanced at Morgan before nodding as if impressed. Ahmo pressed her lips together; she wanted to say something. Morgan stepped in front of my sister.

"Wanna come hang out with us, Erin?" Morgan asked sweetly. "We should celebrate another person Tavi has developed a tolerance to."

"The cheerleaders are having a meeting," Ahmo said.

"That's not until tonight," Erin said.

Her own success bit Ahmo. She spread the story about my diet among the other Senior Crap girls. Some of them realized I wasn't horribly disfigured. The clincher turned out to be something unexpected. As the Sheriff's son, I was one of the few boys parents would consider allowing their daughter's to go out with in the post-rape trial era. A couple of dates later, I jumped way above myself in the high school desirability list. Her experience with the rape gang and my rise in popularity put me in Erin's 'safe but not beneath her' range.

"It's a little sad that you went on those dates and couldn't kiss the girls," Erin said as we walked to Morgan's house. Ahmo held Morgan's arm tightly. The girls were whispering back and forth to each other.

I looked behind us. The transfer students and black kids noticed each other. They had words in the middle of the street. I made a note of each face before letting it go. The transfer kids dressed preppy, but I caught a tattoo under a sleeve. The verbal altercation broke up. The black kids got into a red convertible and drove away.

Morgan and Ahmo must have settled their difference. They were still whispering but less intensely. Ahmo had done her best to convince me at home, gaining no traction against the call from within. Elis gave the plan a second and third thought.

"Maybe you should ask me out," Erin said.

Elis and I sat in front of the TV. Ahmo sat at the desk, staring at Morgan on the bed. Erin was oohing, aahing, and gasping at the contents of Morgan's closet. Morgan was stuck on how to open the conversation. She looked around the room confused. I stood up, closed the bedroom door, and stood in front of it. Morgan sighed in relief. Ahmo gave me a betrayed, disappointed look.

"Erin," I said. "Can I ask you something?"

She had been running between the bathroom and Morgan's bedroom, trying on a variety of outfits. At the moment, she wore yellow heels, a white t-shirt, and designer cut-off jean shorts. Elis and I rolled our eyes at the concept of carefully designed cuts to make a pair of jeans into shorts, but we could appreciate how they fit. The shorts were a much tighter fit on Erin, leaving more than a hint of her buttcheeks exposed.

"Sure." Erin looked around the room with a smile. She hooked a thumb in the waist of shorts, pushed her chest towards me, and did something with her stomach that accented the tone. She thought I was going to ask her out.

"Why did you slap Meghan?" Funny how the rapes meant no one had to ask which Meghan.

"I don't know what you're talking about." The break in her voice betrayed the lie. Erin's eyes went from Morgan to Ahmo.

"What are you talking about, Tavi?" Ahmo stood up and took a step towards me.

"Tavi?" Morgan grabbed my sister's arm.

"Hmmm!" Elis stared at Erin for a few seconds before looking at me. "We didn't have a choice, did we?"

"What are you guys talking about?" Ahmo asked him. Erin eyed the door behind me but stayed still.

"He didn't tell us everything," Elis said to Ahmo and Morgan. "He didn't tell us everything Erin did."

"What?" Morgan asked, looking at me. Ahmo flipped her arm over so she was the one holding Morgan. "The bitch set Celia up to be raped, what else is there?"

Erin's hand flew to her mouth; she was too slow, the cry escaped from her lips. She took a deep breath, glanced at the door again before speaking, "How do you know that?"

"That's an admission of guilt," Elis said and rubbed at his temples. "You actually fucking did it!"

"You didn't believe me?" I asked.

"Yeah, but she actually set up another woman to be raped!" Elis whispered. "That's disgusting."

"Shhh!" Ahmo let go of Morgan and walked to Elis. She stroked his face and pulled his forehead down to hers. "You're too good person for this world, Elis."

An angel calling a saint good! I didn't like the way Morgan was eyeing Erin. "No!"

Morgan's lips pressed together until they turned white, but she nodded and sat down at the desk.

"We know about Celia," I told Erin.

"How?"

"We know about Celia," I said. "Tell them about Meghan."

"I was scared," she said. "They were going to do it to me!"

"You could have told my dad, Erin."

"I was scared!" she shouted. "They were going to rape me."

"He would have believed you," I said. "You know my dad would have believed you."

Erin wrung her hands and stared at the wall.

"Tell them about Meghan."

"You already know everything!" she yelled.

"They don't know about Meghan," I said. She looked at the three other people in the room. They were glancing from Erin to me and back to Erin.

"How do you know, Tavi?" she asked. I stared at her. "Did Celia tell you? Did Meghan tell you? How do you know?!?"

Morgan's whisper cut off the tirade, "Talk, bitch!"

Erin met our eyes, person by person, but if she expected a reprieve, none would be given. "I saw her. Meghan. In the backseat of Billy's car. Stephen and Lars were back there with her when I waved them down. I wanted to talk to Billy, but they were kissing her. An eighth grader! I didn't want to see any more of it. They could have any girl, and they're hooking up with an eighth grader. I thought ... she looked scared, maybe a little bit. Like she wanted to be there, but they were going too fast. Billy had this look on his face, like I could take Meghan's place if I wanted to or if I said anything. They scared me! I just wanted to get away from them. I asked Meghan if she was okay and Billy's face changed. I had to get away from them! I said bye and ran."

"You left her with them?" Ahmo's voice crackled with rage.

"I didn't know what they were going to do, Ahmo!" Erin replied. "They scared me, but we know them. It was Billy and Lars and Stephen. We know them! I would have gone out them."

"No, you don't know them. You never did!" Morgan said. "And I would've taken Meghan out of that car if I was that scared."

"Yeah well, you always thought you were better than everyone, Morgan!" Erin yelled.

"Billy raped me," Morgan said. "I wouldn't have left Meghan in the car."

Erin's eyes widened at Morgan's admission. She looked to Ahmo, who nodded. It deflated her; Erin collapsed to her knees. "Meghan came up to me a few days later. She looked horrible! Like she hadn't taken a bath or slept. She told me what they did to her. I didn't believe her. I. I. I slapped her and told her to never tell that lie again."

"They raped her. She told you about it, and you told her not to lie about it!" Ahmo's voice hit max and kept going up. "You fucking bitch! How could you do that to her? She's a little girl."

"I didn't know!"

"Don't lie to me!" Ahmo screamed; she rushed over to Erin and grabbed her arms. My sister forced Erin to her feet. "You knew to get away from that car. You fucking knew enough to feed them Celia to save yourself. You knew because Meghan told you, and you let me go out with Billy!"

She slapped Erin as hard as she could. Erin grabbed her cheek and stared at Ahmo's hand as it went back again.

"No!" Ahmo whispered when Morgan came towards her. "Don't touch me."

Ahmo brought her hand down. She stared at Erin for a long time until her hands formed fists. She looked a second away from serious violence.

"Ahmo, don't." Elis said. "That's not you."

We watched as Ahmo grabbed her own hair and paced the room. "You fucking knew! YOU FUCKING KNEW!"

Ahmo stopped and looked at me. "How many could she have stopped?"

She knew but wanted to hear it from me. "Meghan. Celia. You if..."

"Tavi's right," Ahmo said facing Erin. "You could have come to our dad. He would have believed you!"

"You have to understand, I was so scared." Erin's words were a plea.

"You're not going to get away with it," Ahmo said.

"I didn't do anything wrong!" Erin believed it as much as we did.

"You don't touch her, Morgan," Ahmo said. "You don't touch her or you don't touch me."

Morgan wanted to argue, but the look on Ahmo's face was having none of it. "Okay, Ahmo. Only the guys."