Chapter 2: To See A Marching Band

"You've been quiet all day," Elis said. We stood across the street from the high school. Ahmo had been trying for a month to talk Morgan into being a part of the Senior Crap Committee. Morgan acquiesced during lunch earlier in the day. The lack of kicking and screaming gave credence to Elis's theory about Morgan's seduction plans.

"I need to talk to Candice," I said.

Erin got Celia to meet her in the alley. She watched the boys drag Celia into their car. Stephen and Lars must not have known or they would have passed it to me when I touched them. The need to make Celia's attackers pay had come back with a vengeance.

"Is something wrong?" Elis asked.

"Hey, boys!" Morgan took her boyfriend's arm. "Ready to go?"

Ahmo walked around me so the girls bracketed the boys. "You guys should join the committee."

"Not!" Elis said automatically. Morgan rolled her eyes.

"It'll be fun!" Ahmo replied. "A couple of girls were asking about you, Tavi. Weren't they, Morgan?"

My sister wanted to keep our thing a secret so she was trying to build camouflage. Ahmo was barking up the wrong tree with Morgan though.

"Yeah, Tavi," Morgan said. "The little cheerleaders couldn't stop talking about you."

Ahmo glanced at Morgan out of the corner of her eye. My fuck-bunny wanted to keep our thing a secret too. Neither girl wanted to share me. Ahmo thought a girlfriend would make a good cover for our thing, but Morgan wanted to continue fostering the fat thing to keep girls away thereby preserving our thing. (The things I do!)

"I think it would be good for Tavi to go out with a couple of them," Ahmo insisted, not very convincingly. "He's very inexperienced."

Elis snorted. Morgan punched the back of his head.

"No cheerleaders!" Ahmo whispered to me.

"Yes, Cheerleader Captain," I said, moving away from her. An adopted sister/budding romantic interest knowing there isn't much she can do to hurt you is carte blanche for her fists to fly!

"Are you okay?" Morgan asked me. "You're quiet today."

"He's always quiet," Ahmo said. She stared at the destruction we'd laid to the contents of Morgan's refrigerator. "I'm going to be sick!"

"It's healthy, organic crap because of the fathead." Elis pelted me with a cheeto. Morgan's mom only kept health food snacks for the sake of her daughter's figure and my health. Elis brought his own whenever the afternoon hangout occurred at Morgan's house. The bastard didn't share either!

"So what's wrong?" Morgan asked. Secret-knowers seem to have an innate desire to underlie every conversation with the secret. Like Morgan, her words asked one question, while her eyes asked if it might be related to my part in Robert Chain's death and the rest of the Honus City Rape Gang being brought to justice.

"Tavi never talks," Ahmo said.

Elis coughed out a cheeto, "Sorry! I thought you said Tavi never talks."

"He never has anything to say at family meals or any other time at home," Ahmo said. Fascinating rewrite of history, dear sister! Morgan gave Elis the 'girlfriend eye'. He stuck a cheeto in his mouth and studied the tile pattern on the kitchen floor.

"Tavi is more extroverted with us," Morgan said. "He doesn't get along with your mom."

"That's true," Ahmo said.

"I noticed he wasn't talking either," Elis said. An obvious attempt to redirect the girlfriend eye in my direction. She's not my girlfriend, motherfucker!

"Nothing, I just..." I shook my head. "Don't worry about it."

I should have realized acting like I didn't want to talk about it sucked as a plan to get out of talking about it. First, I was dealing with females. Might as well wave a red cape rather than say anything in the family of 'don't want to talk about it'. Second, one of the females was my fuck-bunny. Third, the other female was my adopted sister whom I found myself embroiled in a sexual but not yet having actual sex, high school sweetheart thing. Finally, the ultimate capper on my stupidity, each girl knew different secrets about me and didn't know about the sexual nature of my relationship with the other girl. Dumbass, make some shit up--I have gas, and I'm trying to hold it in!

"Is it the cops coming by the school today?" Morgan asked.

"Is it the FBI agents stopping by the school today?" Ahmo asked at the same time.

Elis' hand froze midway to stuffing more cheetos in his mouth. The girls' faces froze with their eyes wide open. Elis mouthed 'Busted!' at me. It was obvious the girls had a reason to ask those specific questions instead of something in the more realistic teendom of our lives. The girls, having realized the error of hinting at something THEY did not want to talk about might have let it go. Elis chose to dig my grave, "There have been cops and feds around since last year. Why would Tavi care about them now?"

As a matter of fact, while there had been authority figures around our junior year, so far senior year was mostly been devoid of them.

"I didn't see cops today," Ahmo said. "I only saw the FBI because my dad was there."

Dear sis, Dad is a cop! As Sheriff, other cops tend to follow him around. Morgan tried hard not to laugh. She made it about twenty seconds before howling. Ahmo blushed a beautiful shade.

"Sorry," Morgan said. "I didn't see the FBI, only your dad and his cops."

Didn't my sister just say she saw my dad followed around by FBI agents? What is it with female solidarity? Elis fell out of his chair laughing. Morgan had the decency to blush too. Ahmo reached out and took Morgan's hand. Oh shit! The girls had one of those moments where one person makes eye contact with another and they think the same thing at the same time. Morgan and Ahmo thought the other girl knew my secret, except they knew different secrets.

"It's okay, Tavi," Ahmo said.

"We won't tell anybody," Morgan said. "Ever."

The girls looked at each other again and nodded. Fucking hell! They're bonding over me!

"They know?" Elis said in the most pissed off voice I ever heard from him. "You fucking told them!"

This shit is not happening! I need to get up from this chair, walk to Candice's office, and hide for-fucking-ever, except Candice is going to kill me. She said as soon as someone else knew it would get out to more and more people.

"He didn't have to tell me," Morgan said rather proudly. "I was there. I helped him."

"No, you weren't," Ahmo said. "No, you didn't."

"You fucking told them!" Elis shouted. "And you didn't tell me!"

"You don't tell something like that to just anybody," Morgan said.

"Exactly!" Morgan's new best girlfriend, Ahmo, said.

"I'm not anybody! I've been his best friend since we were six years old!" Elis yelled. "If he was going to tell anybody, he should have told me first."

"I'm your best friend." Morgan stood up, giving Elis a much meaner version of the girlfriend eye.

"Tavi's best friend," Elis said. "I can be two people's best friends from their side, like Tavi is three women's lover."

"You did not throw me under the bus!" I yelled.

"What is he talking about?" Ahmo asked.

Morgan looked from Ahmo to me. She sat down hard. Unfortunately, she realized who said the lover thing and recovered, "You knew about Ahmo and Tavi!"

If I made a run for it, Elis would have followed me. Being an immature dick, I decided he needed some bus tracks on his back too, so I crossed my arms to keep him in place for Morgan to run his ass over.

"What is he talking about? THREE lovers!" Ahmo screaming the numeric word caught Morgan's attention. An epiphany hit me like a truck. To keep my secrets, I should have dropped my friends after they learned them. Any other action meant I would be sitting with Morgan, Ahmo, and Elis discussing those very secrets.

Elis? I spun in the chair and faced him, "You know?"

"Three!" Ahmo seemed to have a thing for the word.

"How do you know?" Morgan asked Elis. "Don't even think about it, Tavi!"

I sat back down. Ahmo narrowed her eyes to warn me about the consequences of another run-for-it attempt.

"I followed him," Elis said.

"No, you didn't," Morgan insisted. "I would have noticed your car."

"What are you talking about?" Ahmo said. "Neither one of you were at the accident."

"What accident?" Morgan and Elis said. The three of them turned to me. Don't look at me, bitches! I ain't talking and you can't make me. I leaned back in the chair, folded my arms, and stared right back them.

"You weren't there," Morgan said to Elis.

"Yes, I was," Elis said. "I followed Tavi."

Ahmo slammed her open hand down on the table. Ouch! I lost all hope at that moment. By nature, I'm not a leader. Convincing a bunch of people to do something is pointless. If the mountain didn't come to me, I'd pick it the fuck up, and put it where I wanted it. Candice made most decisions for me. She hadn't fucked up--no reason to fix what isn't broken. Morgan did everything Elis said and he had the leadership qualities of a bee drone servicing the queen. This meant Ahmo had a clear path to the Loser Tribunal Directorship should she want to park her perfect behind in the chair. Ahmo stared at each of us in turn before focusing on Elis, "How do you know about it?"

"I ain't fucking stupid!" Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, accept the soul of this foolish child, Elis, into your kingdom. "I followed him. It wasn't hard to figure out the rest when I saw him having sex with Dr. Candice."

"WHAT!" Elis knocked his chair over as he jumped away from the volume of the girls' scream. Ahmo and Morgan did the Exorcist head roulette thing--spin, spin, spin, scary red eyes. "YOU'RE FUCKING CANDICE!"

Morgan proved her new best girlfriend status by putting a chair under Ahmo's butt so she wouldn't fall over. My sister's nails dug into the wood of the table as she tried to regain control. Her head snapped up when she figured out why Morgan took issue with Elis's bomb.

"Don't even think about it!" Ahmo said as I got up. I sighed and sat back down.

"You're fucking my brother," Ahmo said to Morgan.

"You're fucking him too?" Morgan asked.

"No!" Ahmo's voice gave it away. Morgan crossed her arms and stared at my sister. "Not yet."

"Maybe never," Ahmo continued, turning towards me.

"You knew about them?" Morgan asked Elis.

"Yeah!" Elis' tone of voice described what he thought of anyone who hadn't figured it out. Dude, your girlfriend is one of those people!

"You didn't tell me," Morgan said between her teeth.

"Stop!" Ahmo's growl delayed Elis' doom. Ahmo put her hands flat on the table, sat up straight, and looked at me. "You're fucking Morgan!"

I nodded.

"You're fucking Candice."

I nodded.

"You're..." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Me."

I shrugged.

"Dude, are you stupid?" Elis, the king of foot in mouth disease, asked me.

"You really are fucking Dr. Candice?" Morgan's eyes glowed with the same awe as Ahmo's after I pulled her out of the SUV. Shows where Morgan's priorities sat! "She's gorgeous! Like hot, but mature and totally a woman!"

I shrugged again.

"Why would a woman like that even think about you?" Morgan said.

"Uh, hello!" Elis said, gesturing with both hands as if presenting me on a platter. "You did it with him last night, and you're the hottest girl in school."

Go, Elis! Morgan's eyes softened. You're still fucked, dude.

"You're boyfriend and girlfriend," Ahmo said to Morgan and Elis. "Why are you fucking my brother? Why would you let her?"

"Let me!" Being an idiot, I didn't wait for the catfight to begin before trying to sneak out. Instead, my attempt prevented some serious hair pulling and rolling around on the floor.

"It's a physical thing with Tavi." Morgan waved a hand like doing me was no biggie. "I love Elis."

"But..."

"Dr. Candice is doing your brother." Morgan raised her hand. "You want to jump him. Why are you looking at me like I'm crazy?"

"Because you have a boyfriend!"

"They're my best friends," Elis said. "Plus, Tavi is Tavi and Morgan is Morgan."

"You think I'd cheat on you?" Morgan asked.

"No," Elis said. "You don't think fucking is cheating, so if that's how it's going to be then better with Tavi. After him, you should be done with it, not like you're going to get better."

"He isn't that good!" Ahmo said giving me the eye again.

"Oh yeah, he is!" Morgan said. "He might be an asshole for not mentioning Dr. Candice."

"Or you." Ahmo added.

"Or you." Morgan said. "But he is that good!"

Silence ensued. I thought for a second I could get out of there with my secrets intact, except for the Candice thing, but 'King of Shut The Fuck Up' opened his mouth again, "I can't believe you told them and didn't tell me. I kept it a secret for years. Don't you trust me?"

Uh, no! Case in point--shut the fuck up, Elis! The girls looked back and forth between the boys a few times. Elis looked back and forth between the girls a few times. I prayed for the bulbs not to light up.

"Why were you following Tavi?" Morgan asked Elis. I stood up and took a step towards the door. "Tavi, I've had enough of this bullshit. You need to sit the fuck down and stay there until we dismiss you."

I turned around slowly, "There is too far, Morgan."

Morgan parked her ass back in the chair. She looked down at the table, "I'm sorry."

"Dude, that is the coolest mutant power ever!" Elis' neck was right there for me.

"I thought it was super powers," Ahmo said.

"He's human. I think he was born with it so definitely mutant powers," Elis said. "Unless he's actually an alien or he touched a meteor. He had sex with Morgan and Celia and Candice so I don't see how he could be an alien."

Morgan's head did the tennis-watching thing. I sat down to compose exactly how I could tell Candice about this conversation without her killing me. Blame Elis sounded good!

"What are you talking about?" Morgan asked.

"Is Tavi normal in, you know?" Elis asked her. "I saw him with Dr. Candice. Boy, did I see them! Fuck, I mean, do women really scream that much?"

"Yes," Morgan replied. "What are you talking about?"

"You scream like that?" Elis' voice and eyes showed insecurity. "Really?"

"Elis, I've loved you since we were babies," Morgan said. "If you said, I couldn't have Tavi any more, I wouldn't. It's not close to you and me."

Ahmo wiped tears away when Morgan and Elis hugged. I shouldn't have started back up with Morgan. It wasn't worth the chance of Elis getting hurt.

"Now, baby," Morgan grabbed Elis's face between her hands. "What are you talking about mutant powers?"