Chapter 3: A Strategy for Recovery: Howard

I arose early to avoid seeing Edie this morning. I wanted my day free to contemplate my next move. I noticed Edie had an event scheduled this evening and I smiled. It would give me time to prepare. It would delay my having to talk to her for another day and give me the opportunity to begin my search for evidence of any misbehavior. I would have to hope that as usual, only a major catastrophe would keep her from attending whatever function she had planned.

Perhaps it was my long walk last evening or perhaps because I had begun to map out my future, I slept well. I awoke refreshed and surprisingly confident. I had a rough plan of action and I had a sense of direction.

Yes, I will no longer be Howard Carver, obliging husband, and as some might think, eunuch. It's a role that I intended to correct. I think Edie is in for a big surprise when she learns she has a different husband than she thought she had. No longer a pushover. I will use my voice to make myself clearly understood. I will dominate from now on. It will be part of my new persona.

I made myself busy for the balance of the day, asking my secretary not to put any calls through to me from outside unless they were urgent. As I expected, shortly before three that afternoon Edie had called and left a message that she would be attending a live theatre opening and wouldn't be home for dinner. She apologized profusely and promised that we could talk tomorrow.

I left early that afternoon, arriving home an hour sooner than normal. As usual, I was left to prepare my own meal from whatever I could find in the refrigerator and pantry. I chose a soup and sandwich combination with a glass of red wine. Simple, quick and easy to clean up afterwards. I wanted to get started on my search.

I began with Edie's computer. She was not an expert user and I knew from previous experience that she kept her calendar and her e-mail correspondence on Outlook, just as I did. I was surprised when I found she had password protected access to the operating system. I had no idea she knew how to do that, but nonetheless, some form of security was in place. I wondered why.

I tried a number of obvious possible passwords without luck. I knew she had only a rudimentary understanding of computers and I suspected any password would be simple or memorable. After giving up trying the obvious possibilities, I sat back to think. As I stared at the screen, I realized the monitor was sitting on a desk pad. I lifted the front edge of the pad and found a small post-it note with four alpha-numeric eight digit codes. I tried the last one and the computer obligingly let me in.

I opened her mail box and found nothing in the inbox. She had created a number of files, all of them seemingly related to her business. I began to systematically go through each one to see if I could find anything of interest. It was a tedious business, but I stuck with it. At length, I opened a file marked Ginny and found a series of e-mails addressed to someone named Ginny.

I began to read them, as this was a completely different type of correspondence than any of the other files. It almost looked like a journal. She was sharing her experiences, opinions and her hopes with what I presumed was another woman. As I read, I was surprised at how frank she was in these messages. She was talking about her life and me and her social and business contacts.

I read five of the messages to begin with before pausing. I thought about what they contained. She was expressing a longing for some stimulation in her life. She professed her love for me, but she was hoping that something exciting might come along to shake her world. That something was undefined until last night when she revealed just what she had in mind.

I continued to read the "Ginny" messages. It was almost like listening to someone in therapy. Unasked questions were answered as if the therapist was with her at the time. When I examined the file in more detail, I noticed that there were no incoming messages from anyone. Only the outgoing messages from Edie to Ginny. Did she delete her incoming? I checked the deleted message file but found nothing. I was getting no useful information except that she was sharing her innermost feelings with someone other than me.