Chapter 8

Gibbs slept lightly until he was sure Tony had drifted into a much deeper sleep. Then, Gibbs wrapped the blanket tight around Tony, conveying that he was safe and as secure as Gibbs could make him. Tony shifted a few times and snuffled before he drew Gibbs' thumb into his mouth, a gesture that was sweet and erotic at the same time.

After about a half hour of it, Gibbs took himself in his free hand, bringing himself off quickly, and then reached over and did the same for Tony, who never woke up. It wasn't taking advantage, he told himself, it was comfort. The entire time, he was whispering into Tony's hair how safe he was, how he was okay.

Gibbs licked his hand clean and then tucked the sheet between their bodies, cuddling Tony tight against him, spooning him.

Finally having taken the edge off, Gibbs fell into a deep and dreamless sleep, his insistent bladder and rumbling stomach finally waking him up. He lifted his head, assessing the situation. Early light, must be oh six hundred or so, Tony stirring slowly beside him.

Wary of the way they'd last awoken together, Gibbs gave Tony a gentle squeeze. "Wake up, DiNozzo," he said in his most calm voice.

"Mmmmm on it, Boss," Tony said sleepily, instinctively pressing his backside into that spooning. He sucked a few more times on the man's thumb in slowly waking more before it occurred to him what he was doing.

Eyes snapped open. Then he spit it out and tried not to gasp with surprise. He didn't apologize. To apologize would be to admit that he'd known he was a one-time thumbsucker. One-time. Sucking your thumb as a child was considered normal. There was no way doing it as a grown man could be seen that way. Then again, what was normal anymore? They were trapped in this world of clones, second class citizens now. Hell, not even citizens, had less rights than animals, and he should be glad that it was all he was doing again in traumatized regression, sucking his thumb. But then again, it wasn't all he was doing and Tony knew it. He had to get a handle on himself before he ended up in diapers!

"Sleep good? I slept good. Think I found Miss Wyoming again," he joked as he very minutely moved his rump away from the man after having just been tighter than tight against him. "Good sleep. Starved now. You hungry? I'll get on it, Boss." Tony was babbling but what was he supposed to say? We went gay, I slept like a baby in your arms sucking your thumb, and it's freaking me the hell out?

It was probably a very good thing that he had no idea Gibbs had touched him during that sleep. Miss Wyoming had done it.

Gibbs dragged his thumb over Tony's lower lip before removing the scrunched up sheet between them and getting up, stretching, letting his back crack. DiNozzo had bruised him really badly and Gibbs was feeling it today. "How is the kidney?" he asked softly, grabbing Tony's wrist in a gentle hold.

Before Tony could make a move or jerk away, Gibbs leveled him with an intense stare. "Settle down, Tony. It's okay. Nothing changed ... still Gibbs and DiNozzo." He could almost read the panic in Tony's eyes, but couldn't determine if it was about their new reality or the bond between them.

"I haven't changed. Only you give yourself the power to look at yourself differently."

"You honestly don't think we've changed?" There was definitely panic in those eyes, but at least the man wasn't pulling away. "I've changed more times than a dirt riding cowboy eating Graboid." His other hand yanked the sheet over his bare hips, hiding himself from Gibbs as he tried to calmly climb out of bed, putting on a show of not acting spooked despite feeling very spooked. "What about you? Stiff? I could go for a Jacuzzi after I eat everything left in your fridge. Don't suppose ya got one around here? Hot bubbling whirlpool?" It was still babbling, but at least it was lessening in intensity now.

Tony didn't want to talk about his kidney. It was tender, too tender, and he was almost afraid to use the bathroom now.

"Not because we jacked off together," Gibbs insisted. "Because of what we know about our lives, yeah. Maybe. Been a father for half my life." He motioned toward Kelly's room. "Not a father any more. Not an NCIS agent, a Marine. That changes a man."

He rested a hand on Tony's bare back. "Hell of a bruise there." He rubbed lightly. "Me? feeling like I got worked over, which I did." He felt a fist shaped bruise at his jaw, his ribs were aching, his torso was a mottled canvas of purples, he wouldn't have been surprised if one rib had popped and he could feel he had a hell of a shiner.

"No Jacuzzi. Shan wanted one ... was gonna ... and then..." He shook his head. He needed to stop doing that.

"You can still be a father," Tony said in a very quiet whisper as the hand holding the sheet around his middle began to loosen and release it. "If you want... " Just before it would have fallen, they heard the now familiar rapping on the front door. "PeeWee?" Tony muttered, his hand tightening again upon the sheet.

Just as well. Tony could use that time to escape alone into the bathroom.

"To who? A memory?" Gibbs asked quietly. "A memory only I have, Tony? Nobody to share the 'remember when's with." Gibbs reached out, smoothing Tony's hair back. They knew Pee Wee was the only one who knocked. "Get dressed, I'll get him settled."

He padded down the stairs and opened the door, looking out warily. Inside they could believe they were Gibbs and DiNozzo and hadn't changed but outside ... it was a different world--literally.

"Good morning, Special Agent Gibbs," Thomas said as he held out a cup of coffee to the man when the door opened. His face was unmarked, he was showered and changed and looked his usual impeccable self. It was only his eyes that were changed, and when he tried to take a step forward he stumbled, losing control of his legs.

My boy.

"To me," Tony sighed at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, hating himself for the sting of tears he felt hiding behind his eyes. "A father to me."

My boy.

But just as Gibbs had originally misunderstood Tony's intentions that night about their sleeping arrangements, Tony was quite possibly now misunderstanding Gibbs' feelings about fatherhood. Only feeling that he'd offered and it hadn't been heard, or wanted, he stared at his reflection and shook his head with reproach. "Course he doesn't want me like that. If my own father didn't, why would he?"

My boy.

The uneasy feeling of being used, of being seduced and then suddenly dropped as he'd done so often to women, settled in the pit of his stomach like a cancer to consider such a thing now from Gibbs. Had the man preyed upon Tony's weakness of daddy-issues just to fulfill some sick homo fantasy with him?

Never again, he promised himself, biting back those tears with anger now. He loved the man more than life itself, that wouldn't change. But DiNozzos were the users, not the usees when it came to sex. They were the seducers, the love'em and leave'ems, and so there was no way he could risk the Marine getting that close to him again. Daddy-issues or not, Tony had to resist him because he refused to be made a fool of twice.

Fortified now with that determination, whether rightly or wrongly made, he dropped his eyes to his body and let go of the sheet to examine himself. He didn't look gay, did he? There wasn't some sort of special sign of it he should see?

Tony moved in slow circles, craning his head this way and that, lifting his arms, his legs, checking everywhere he could for some mysterious mark of "Gayness by Gibbs" inflicted on him now. Of course, he found nothing but a very tiny, almost invisible, dimple in his butt cheek he didn't remember ever seeing there before. But before he could poke more at it, his kidney spasmed and he ran to the toilet, trying to piss at long last.

A small stream was all he got, and it hurt, oh God it hurt. Closing his eyes he looked up at the ceiling. "Please don't be blood, please don't be blood," he mumbled.

He flushed without looking, seriously unable to deal with a possible physical problem now on top of his huge new mental ones, dressed without showering because he was curious to find out about PeeWee, and rushed downstairs. There was no hint of his new worries, kidney or daddy-loss, on his well-trained poker face as he moved up next to Gibbs like normal. Like canon normal. There was definitely no touching.

"Ah, hell, Pee Wee." Gibbs shoved the cup onto the hall table and slung Pee Wee's arm around his shoulder. "Stupid, Pee Wee. Real stupid what ya did." Gibbs eased him onto the couch in the den and pulled a blanket over him. "You tell me when you want to collect," Gibbs said quietly. "And I'll give you what I know you want. I want to give you that, Pee Wee. Understand me?" He locked his gaze on the other man, stepping back a couple of paces and waiting for the answer.

Gibbs felt and heard Tony come near and yanked up Tony's shirt. "Your brother came by, Pee Wee. Roughed up my boy here. See?" He ran a gentle hand over Tony's side, keeping his voice very calm. "This can't happen again, Pee Wee. Anyone who hurts my boy, I'll fight to the death."

Tony was silently screaming for something and Gibbs wasn't sure what it was but he lowered Tony's shirt, ruffling his hair. "You okay, son?" he asked gently, his attention divided between both men.

The smile was instinctive at hearing that precious word and feeling that hair ruffling, but Tony was glad when Thomas started speaking first. Lying to Gibbs was never easy, and lying to him now, when it was just the two of them, was going to be harder than ever.

"Travis was here?" Thomas kept the blanket around him out of horror now. "Omigod, he TOLD you?" Because it was no secret Gibbs was his favorite, and because Tony was obviously still alive and standing, he showed only minor sympathy for whatever pain Travis had inflicted on the man. He was far more worried about what Gibbs thought of him now, which was ridiculous, he tried to tell himself, that he should care one bit about what a clone thought. And yet he did.

And had he actually heard correctly and the man would come to his bed willingly? He didn't need to coerce. manipulate, bribe or threaten him? Thomas would have been in seventh heaven if he hadn't been in so much pain and felt so mortified over what his brother had done. "Won't happen again, hell no. Trav doesn't fight fair. I'm not risking you or him getting hurt over DiNozzo." He shifted on the sofa and winced, his ashen face blanching white even more. "He shouldn't have told you. I can handle myself. I'm ... I'm a Hilton." A seriously hurt and seriously embarrassed Hilton, but he tried to find pride in his name even though he had little pride left now.

Gibbs turned to Tony. "Make come coffee, DiNozzo. If there isn't that hazelnut stuff you like, I'll have Pee Wee have his goons get ya some. Give me a couple minutes here with Pee Wee." He ruffled Tony's hair again, remembering that smile. "Thanks, son. Maybe I can be a dad again here ... If you'll have me." Tony opened his mouth and Gibbs just knew a stream of words would be coming out soon. "Think about it. Important responsibility for both of us. We'll talk it out later, okay?"

Satisfied that the crisis with Tony was over for now, Gibbs dropped to his aching knee, patting Pee Wee's leg gently. "Not specifics. Just that you got worked over pretty bad for the kid that looks like DiNozzo. Pleasing me." Gibbs reached over and ran a hand over Pee Wee's hair, a silent gesture of thanks.

"Meant what I said. You tell me what and when and I'll give it gladly."

Unlike Tony, just beginning to explore something new, something frightening and unthought-of before, Thomas had known since puberty that he preferred men over women. "Gibbs." Thomas started to smirk, his typical look, but then it failed him and he lowered his eyes almost shyly, reaching to hug the man with a groan. "I just want you to be happy," he said quietly in confession. "I'm not sure I understand. You ... you liked men before? This isn't ... new to you?"

Tony had found that coffee on the hallway table and dumped it, deducing correctly that Thomas had brought it into the house for Gibbs. Eyes narrowed, trying his best to listen to them, as he made a fresh pot in the kitchen and put together what little he could find for an edible breakfast for two. It never crossed his mind to make something for his human. It bothered him far more than he wanted to admit to know that Thomas was into Gibbs, so into Gibbs he'd done something very stupid to please the man.

It didn't help that he was confused more than ever now about his own feelings for Gibbs. The man wanted to talk about it later? How could he trust that he meant it, fatherhood again with a son this time, and that it wasn't just a smooth line to get Tony back into his bed?

Christ Almighty, Tony sighed to himself. Now he was starting to think like a girl!

Gibbs rubbed the other man's back in gentle circles. "This is completely new to me," he admitted quietly. "Guy like me has a lot of time to think. Guy like me has lived a lot, seen a lot. Guy like me knows love when he sees it unfold on a TV screen. And I know ... I know, Pee Wee. I know as bad as I had it on that idiot box for DiNozzo, as bad as I have it here for him, you have it bad for me. So bad you got hurt to make me happy. And if giving you what you want so badly makes you happy, I'll do it." He lowered his voice to almost a whisper. "With pleasure."

"If ... if this is all that ever happens, then letting that dickhead fuck me over was worth it." He leaned back and smiled, this time a real smile from the start. "Yeah, I want you, Gibbs. Want you bad. And normally I'd devise a way to get you into my bed that didn't mean getting myself split in the process to make it happen, but this time I'm not interested in payback or gratitude and especially not pity. I want it on both our terms. I don't pussyfoot around it like DiNozzo. When you get tired of his problems, call me. I'll give you everything you want in bed with him without question, without the hassle."

"You little prick," Tony growled from the doorway. It didn't matter that Thomas was in no way trying to come between the men, was in no way trying to steal Gibbs away from the man he himself had said was Gibbs' soulmate, it only mattered that he was competition in Tony's eyes, powerful competition for anything and everything Gibbs, and Tony's rollercoastering emotions didn't like it.

"From what I've seen, I wouldn't talk," Thomas retorted, correctly playing upon the man's well known vanity and insecurities about physical appearance.

"Just for that, I'm gonna send you back to the sick fucker to finish the job he started!"

Surprisingly, Thomas had no retort that time. He cringed in real fright, ducking lower behind Gibbs in case the Weatherly really meant it. Thomas was no fighter like Travis. He relied on bodyguards or his older brother for protection. Now he was relying on a clone. The irony of it wasn't lost on him.

"Settle down, Son!" Gibbs roared, tightening his arms around Pee Wee. "It's okay Pee ... Tom. It's okay..." The fear and panic in the other man deeply upset Gibbs. "You're safe with me, Tom ... You're okay. And when it happens it'll be lust driven and not anything less." He released the other man, pushing him back on the couch gently but firmly. "Rest. I'll get you some food and coffee."

Gibbs jerked his head and stormed out of the room, not speaking until he was in the kitchen. "When did you get to be a bully, Tony? He got injured trying to make us happy. Different from you bashing the shit out of me, or his brother defending him and stroking out because he's protecting someone he loves." He got into Tony's face.

"You need to settle down and control yourself, Tony. Do it for me, Son."

STOP CALLING ME THAT UNLESS YOU REALLY MEAN IT, Tony almost screamed in his face, a full blown temper tantrum nearing the surface he was desperately trying to hold back.

"How do we know," he said instead through gritted teeth, his fists clenching by his sides, "that this isn't all a scam? He could be one helluva actor, him and his brother, all put on to get you to feel sorry for him, to be complacent for their zoo, to climb in his fucking bed and play his fucking tricks like a fucking pet monkey for him?"

Tony had a point, a really good point. The only thing was, he hadn't taken the time, due to his irrational rise of jealousy, to look in the man's eyes as Gibbs had done. Yes, Travis could have faked that anger last night; yes, Thomas could be faking physical pain now for sympathy, but only someone who had really been through what he'd been through could hold that in their eyes; it wasn't something that could be faked to deceive a man like Gibbs.

Gibbs gripped Tony's biceps firmly. "Because I trust my gut, DiNozzo. I've been around rape victims, sexual abuse victims before. I know that look in their eyes. I know that fear. I know how people react when they've been violated, the shame, the guilt, the pain. Pee Wee has all of those, Tony..."

Gibbs had never dealt with another man's jealousy to this level, didn't know how to soothe Tony, but he had to try. "Come on, Son. Come on. Let's get ourselves fed." He released Tony's bicep to stroke a hand through his hair. "You're still my best friend, still my boy. No room for anyone else."

Every word Gibbs said was the truth. Didn't bear understanding if he meant as a surrogate son, best friend, or lover.

Feeling ashamed of himself now, Tony nodded meekly and put together a plate for Thomas first out of guilt. He knew the signs of abuse too, but not having been willing to look that closely before, he'd missed it. Gibbs, being Gibbs, had not. "He did ask for it," he said, wincing in expecting a headslap for that, "I mean ... not like that ... just that he put himself into that situation. He wasn't forced."

True. Thomas just hadn't been expecting payment in a man's bed as his bottom-boy to include acts of depravity and humiliation and pain far beyond anything even his own dark little fantasies sometimes strayed into. He'd learned a hard lesson. It would be a long time before he'd trust his famous last name to protect him again.

In the other room, Thomas was already asleep, napping far more comfortably on Gibbs' couch than he had in a bed in his brother's home under the care of a private nurse. On his side, his back to the back of the couch, his arms held the blanket the Harmon had given him tightly around his body like a shield. There was no bemusement or smirking arrogance to his face now either. He was a good looking, in a regular sort of way, man, and when he slept he appeared far younger than his thirty years.

"Tony..." Gibbs trailed off, sitting at the table and motioning Tony down. "He did it to please me, us." Gibbs stared at the table for a moment before he looked up at Tony. "He did it to please me and someone broke him. Bad choice. But don't say for a second that he deserved it. That isn't you. That's your jealousy talking, Son. And you're a much better man than that. He put himself in a bad situation but he isn't to blame..."

Gibbs grabbed a plate of food and dug in before continuing. "And I'm responsible for what happened. So I'm gonna take care of him. Hope you're not jealous. You're my boy, Tony. Who else has been by my side for eight years? Can't decide if you're a masochist or what."

Gibbs came up behind Tony, rubbing his back and shoulders gently. "My boy ... my son. You sure you want a broken down old guy like me as a dad?"

"I know," Tony groaned, thumping his head into his hands on the table over his own much smaller plate of food. Out of that guilt, he'd given the most to Gibbs and Thomas. "Didn't deserve it ... no one would, it's just that ... he OWNS us, Boss. I'm finding it really hard to trust, to feel sympathy, for a man who has papers on me like I'm his second best prized stud." It was harder for Tony because he knew Thomas didn't care about him in the way Thomas cared about Gibbs. Tony was an afterthought to Thomas, meaning that Tony had absolutely no sense of power with the man. Even as a clone, Gibbs had power. Just as Gibbs belonged to Thomas in this strange world of reality, Thomas belonged to Gibbs in a true bonding of human-clone relations that had developed between them. Tony was just being swept along for the ride, and he hated that feeling of helplessness. "But I'll help ya take care of him," he sighed into his hands. "Not jealous," he lied. "We need him. I know that. Not jealous." Tension slowly drained out of his shoulders under that gentle massage and he turned his face up to the man. "Jethro." It was Tony's way of trying to talk to the man as equals, or as close to equals as they could be. "Maybe the better question is, are you sure you want a thoroughly broken down fucked up headcase like me as a son?"

'Yeah, he owns us and I hate that. I hate that he's a manipulative little shit, Tony. But he's a human who just got hurt pretty bad. So I expect you to put that jealousy aside." What you can't give me, maybe he can, Gibbs added silently, even though to the depth of his being, he wanted Tony. He needed Tony. But the facts were that Tony wasn't ready, might never be ready. Gibbs swallowed hard at the bitterness that rose up in him as a result. Always wanted what he couldn't have.

Gibbs met those expressive eyes for a long moment. "Tony ... I would be honored to have a son just like you," he said hoarsely. "You don't see how damned special you are but I do. I know..."

He firmed his resolve. This was the way it had to be for Tony's well-being. Even if it killed Gibbs. "Looks like you just got another old man, Son."

"Not another ... my first old man, the only one who's ever counted ... Dad." He smiled and rose up out of the chair, carefully hugging that surrogate father in choosing to trust him with this again, that it wasn't a ploy, that it wasn't smooth words of seduction, that it wasn't to use his body in ways that made Tony cringe despite the pleasure it gave him.

The sound of slow clapping filled the kitchen, and in the doorway stood a tired looking Thomas leaning heavily on the frame, rolling his eyes as his hands slowly came together several times and then stopped to fall wearily back to his sides. "What the fan fic writers wouldn't give to have seen this," he said in a voice that held much less sneer to it than normal. "Such a touching moment they're missing. Now did someone say something about food? I could really go for a hot meal ... and I imagine you'd like to know what happened to the Harmons and Weatherly you saw the other day ... unless Trav already told you?"

Gibbs held Tony close, stroking his hair, ignoring what Pee Wee said. "You can always come to me, remember? With anything." He reluctantly broke away with one last hair muss.

"Sit down, Pee Wee. And start explaining. Then you're gonna lie on the couch and start healing." Gibbs passed over his plate and wandered to the fridge, digging around for some fresh fruit.

"Think I'll stand ... and no jokes, DiNozzo," he warned as he stood at the table and lifted a sandwich from what Gibbs had given him. "Well it's not hot, but it'll do."

"Start explaining," Tony hissed, playing keep away with the beer from the man when Thomas reached for one. The guilt he'd been feeling was diminished now at hearing that clapping and crazy talk about fan fic writers. Tony was dealing with enough craziness around him, severe emotional trauma from those insane surroundings of a cold harsh clone-reality that was regressing him in subconscious ways back to a young Tony. He wasn't at all interested in hearing anything that would push him to fall even further. He could ignore that just like he was ignoring his kidney.