Chapter 89: Here Comes The Bride

Sasami had been waiting patiently as she might. Attempting to hold a sense of what she believed was termed 'cultivated composer'.

That managed to last until the first few bars of the all too familiar 'Wedding March' began.

For the way that her heart leaped in her chest it might well have been 'Toccata en Fugue'.

She quickly reminded herself that she was not about to greet some mad doctor or even a disfigured deranged organ playing actor for that mater. This was her wedding day and she was eager to begin.

Typically, her father was so nervous he missed his Que, stepping froward with the wrong foot. Not that it mattered, for once all eyes were upon her!

And why not? It had taken Maski hours to get her ready. The corset portion of the dress had to be narrowed, its 'stays' shortened to fit her more slender waist. Sasami supposed she should be grateful.

She couldn't help but wish they could have just forgone the uncomfortable thing but the gown was based on it.

Still, she couldn't recall Azusa looking more handsome though. Father looked positively dapper in the tuxedo mother almost had to get him into at gunpoint.

But when he smiled down at her it all seemed to be worth it, as they past pew after pew filled with beaming wedding guest.

"All my life," Sasami breathed quietly. "Leading up to this one happy moment!"

She gazed up at the still distant altar.

"Soon." She sighed. "Soon I will be complete!"

Her thoughts mixed and mingled as she continued forwards. She had worn the name 'Masaki' as a ruse on earth for so long. Now she was to receive it as her own in truth!

"Tenchi." She sighed, worrying briefly upon him now. Certain he was uncomfortable with the size and pageantry of the ceremony. If truth were told, Sasami knew he would have been as happy if they'd 'eloped' her father however made it abundantly clear. Ether it was his way or her inheritance was history.

Still it was wonderful...

Getting married in such splendor! In a pristine Anglican Church with a ceiling so high you could fly a bomber sortie. Marching to the music from an organ so huge, the pipe work could irrigate a moon.

Pulling a bridal train so long, the bride's maids almost needed walkie-talkies to navigate.

No attention to detail had been spared. Even all the brides'' maids' gowns matched perfectly.

Though obviously not quite the dazzling shade of white as the brides, so not to detract from her moment of glory! All the men in attendance wearing black 'tuxes' further heightened the surreal effect.

Sunlight lancing down from a hundred stain glass windows painted the scene in coherent shafts of color. The thunderous keying of the traditional march almost drown out all sound within the basilica.

Still if one listened intently, it was just possible to catch the faint persistent echo of...

"Mou- mou meyow! Mou- mou mou mou!" As Ryo-chan walked ahead of the procession, blissfully spreading rose petals on the path before them to the altar.

Amid the joyous scene, the only detracting element Sasami could see was presented in the form of Ayeka and Ryoko, sitting together weeping by themselves in a pew.

Both of them dressed in 'widow's weeds' complete with black veils! Each barley managing to hold a sign aloft as they were attempting to console the other while glaring back at her balefully.

'Burn in hell Sasami!' And 'Your days are numbered kettle girl!' the signs were labeled respectively.

"IT'S SO BEAUTIFULL! SO BEAUTIFULL! SO BEAUTIFULL!!" Someone started wailing close at hand.

Sasami glanced, seeing her mother Masaki seated next to Lady Funaho in the front row, her biological mother transformed into a blubbering mess.

"MY WUDDLE GURLS AW GROWED HUP!!!" Misaki was sobbing hysterically as a concerned Funaho was holding out a box of tissues. Sasami flashed what she hoped was a reassuring smile, watching with some horror as with eyes laden with tears, her mother grabbed the sleeve of Funaho's robe and began loudly blowing her nose!

Turning away mortified, she tried to ignore the uncharacteristic shriek which erupted as result, by concentrating upon the altar. More importantly upon whom now was plainly visible.

She could never recall Tenchi looking more handsome or gallant as he stood beaming down at her. Yet now as the moment was almost upon her, Sasami had an instant of doubt.

She'd wanted this for so terribly long! Her every waking thought

for long as she could easily remember being, Tenchi! Tenchi! Tenchi!

Now that he was at last to finally be hers ... Would it be all that she wanted? What if, it were somehow all wrong? What if, love simply weren't enough?

As the last few feet to her place by his side dwindled and her indecisions mounted, Sasami became suddenly acutely aware of Kiyone's presence next to him. Looking so unforgivably sexy despite wearing a tuxedo in her role as his 'best man!'

It only now occurred to Sasami how jealous she'd always secretly been of Key. In some ways more than even Ryoko or Ayeka! She was his best friend, they 'played' together. Sharing a side of him that no one else, not even she who was to now be his wife could know! That intimacy with Tenchi over the years consistently had dug in.

All it took however was one look from him to banish these emotions, raging in her eleventh hour. A final long gaze deep into his eye to dispel the last of her demons as Sasami took her place. Minus the one from the mound of course.

"Dearly beloved," Katsuhito intoned from his place before the altar.

"When was he ordained to perform a Christian ceremony again?" Kiyone whispered.

"Sshhh!" Tenchi admonished.

"We are gathered here today in the sight of 'god' to witness the joining of this man and this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony."

"SOMEBODY KILL ME NOW!"

It didn't take a great feat of cognition to recognize Ryoko's voice. Nor as all heads were turned to where she now floated glowing ominously several feet above her pew to realized things were about to get nasty!

"YES! THIS INSANITY MUST STOP!" Ayeka cried passionately, below and just to the right. Assuming an an deniable battle stance as wedding guest were wisely scurrying for cover!

"Scuse me." Someone said dryly as the distraught duo continued to 'power up.'

Turning calmly from her place at the pipe organ, Washu leveled the bore of an enormous cannon like device with the words 'Nuptial Avenger 0.2' stenciled on its side.

Instantly releasing two globs of what appeared to be giant 'linguine' directly at the irate pair with a pneumatic cough!

Ayeka was the first to go down, gift wrapped like a fork twirled in a plate of spaghetti!

Somewhat more agile, Ryoko managed to stay ahead of her 'goo ball' for some seconds. Before she too succumbed to it's heat-seeker like affections. Dropping like a wet sack of rubber bands into a gallery.

"It over." Mayuka sighed, siting at her place next to Nobuyuki.

"Fraid so." Tenchi's dad nodded his head.

"The union between a man and a woman is a sacred pact." Katsuhito continued as if nothing had occurred.

"Rooted in antiquity, signifying a bond of spirit far transcending any mere contract or ceremony. Yet on this day we gather as family and friends to observe and celebrate this union."

There was the briefest of pauses, Tenchi smiled at her warmly looking past the thin veil deep into her eyes. Sasami felt herself trembling, happy tears flowing unbidden from her eyes.

"Who gives this woman?" Katsuhito asked, his own smile bringing a pleasant cast to his wizened features. That is, until the silence which followed began to elongate noticeably. Prompting Sasami to glance her father's direction.

"Well..." Azusa cleared his throat, his features wearing a decidedly dark aspect.

"UH HM!" Sounded from directly behind him. All eyes turned towards where Funaho and Masaki were glaring holes in their husband's back.

"I suppose I do." He grumbled quickly, averting his eyes.

They were drawn instantly back when Sasami gave his hand the gentlest of squeezes.

"Oh father!" She sighed sweetly, giving him a smile. Azusa looked upon her, eyes shining looking as though he were seeing her for the last time.

Perhaps he was, in a very real way.

It made for the most poignant of moments when at last she looked away, back towards her future. Where Tenchi stood holding out his hand.

Amid her joy, Sasami still felt a pang of regret stepping away, as finally she must. A brief sadness washed almost instantly aside at the touch of Tenchi's hand.

"The ring please?" Katsuhito asked pleasantly, prompting Tenchi to hold his other hand out while he again gazed into her eyes. Sasami responded blinking several times feeling right at the moment her heart would certainly explode from joy!

The moment was perfect ... that is until Sasami saw his smile falter, just before breaking eye contact with her. Shifting his gaze sideways while adopting a slightly miffed expression.

Now mildly concerned Sasami's followed the indicated direction to where Kiyone stood, frisking herself.

"Makibi..." Tenchi hissed, his voice almost a threatening growl.

"Oh hell!" Kiyone swore mildly skinning hand down the sides of her slacks.

"Damn Masaki!" She added shooting him a frantic look before one hand shot to the breast pocket of her vest.

"Key, how could you?" Sasami begged, unable to believe what was happening.

"Sorry kid!" Kiyone gasped in a pleading tone. "Damn it! I shouldn't have shown Mihoshi that ring!"

"HEY!" Mihoshi indignantly yelled from across the room.

"Even told myself to put it in a safe place..." she stopped cold, eyes brightening.

"Aha!" Key cried raising a finger. Then to the utter astonishment of everyone present, began unbuttoning her shirt.

"Oh for the love of god!" Tenchi rasped rolling his eyes, which were promptly covered when he slammed his palm into his forehead as Kiyone reached into her bra!

"Key! How could you?" Sasami repeated, now quite certain the end was near!

"OK! I'm sorry!" Kiyone scathed during the delicate retrieval process.

"Its not like some of my best friends get married everyday or anything!" Producing the required article she quickly handed the ring over.

"I just got over excited!" She grimaced apologetically.

"When I get back from the honeymoon..." Tenchi warned quietly under his breath. "You are d-e-a-d!"

"Don't you mean when WE get back?" Sasami asked.

"Ahem." Katsuhito cleared his throat, returning his posture to normal after covertly, he hoped, leaning slightly forward to sneak a peek at Kiyone's cleavage.

"Now that, that's out of the way." He paused again turning serious.

"The wedding ring," He intoned. "Since time immemorial serves as an outward symbol of love and devotion. Signifying the bond, which you share. Though only cold metal, let its luster give notice that like its simple band, your love stands forever, unbroken." Katsuhito now paused, noting a certain tension within the room. The moment had at last arrived.

"Do you Tenchi Masaki?" His grandfather smiled, he was enjoying the mild look of panic, which briefly materialized, on his grandson's face.

"Take the lady Sasami of the house of Azusa? To be you're lawfully wedded wife?" Tenchi smiled, Sasami had no idea how many times he had practiced his response.

"Probably using Kiyone as MY stand in! Damn her all to hell!" She privately fumed. Even as she thought it Sasami chided herself, such jealousy was unbecoming!

Especially considering she'd won. Still, it seemed a long time before Tenchi cleared his throat and spoke those two words she'd waited an eternity already to finally hear.

"I do." He spoke loudly and proudly almost drowning out the sound of two distant voices sobbing somewhere towards the back of the cathedral.

Tears now flowed freely down Sasami's face. He'd finally said it! so rapped was her attention upon him, She' didn't realized immediately Katsuhito favoring Tenchi with the most smug expression.

"Bout damn time boy!" he added with undisguised glee.

"Grandpa!" Tenchi griped.

"And do you Sasami?" Katsuhito continued, ignoring the annoyed glare. "Take this man?" He seemed to deliberately draw the sentence out.

"To be you lawfully wedded husband?" Sasami looked deep into his eyes final time before she at last spoke.

"No..." She breathed sadly.

"Ok, that's enough." She continued firmly. Giving Tenchi's hands a gentle squeeze Sasami stepped back from the altar.

"I'm dreaming all of this, and I know it!"

"CUT!" Yelled a voice from behind her. Casting an amused glance that direction Sasami was treated to the sight of a bank of motion picture cameras manned by a cast of familiar characters.

Wataru Higomi moved out from behind and regarded her pointedly.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT YOUNG LADY?" Sasami smiled at the seething director musing that, 'being nuts' sometimes had its amusing aspects.

"I'm really sorry Mr. Higomi." She sighed. "But I just can't go through with it!"

She paused tiredly, trying to think of the best way to phrase it.

"It's the same thing as lying to myself!"

"OH! Really?" Wataru groaned. "Just like that huh?" He turned around and kicked the side of the stairs leading up to the altar, hard.

The groan intensified when his foot went right through the simulated marble!

"OH! JUST PEACHY!" He yelped before turning again to face her angrily.

"You are through little lady!" He snapped. "I'll personally see you never work in this town again!"

For her part Sasami was genuinely startled. He certainly was awfully hostile for a figment! Continuing to watch him in mute astonishment as he whirled on heel and stalked away.

"Get the damn set coordinator in here!" Wataru yelled. "Damn prima donna!" His voice became more distant his anger however didn't seem to abate.

"Everybody were breaking for lunch!"

Sasami sighed sadly, wishing she could have just lost herself in this one sweet little dream but...

"Kamora," She mused darkly. Remembering her last moments before collapsing. The clear and cryptic image of one of her father Azusa personal guardian's floating in door of Tenchi's room.

"What the hell was he doing here?"

Now that she was concentrating on matters at hand, Sasami found her worries increasing exponentially. She favored a last glance towards the altar and her dream.

"I really do love you boy!" She gently told the pseudo Tenchi.

"But this just isn't real." She gestured at the glorious if imaginary surroundings. Still, real or imaginary, he looked so sweet in his tuxedo!

"Enough!" The sensible side of her commanded. This was getting her nowhere! Turning again from the altar Sasami began considering possible exits from the cathedral.

"Hey," Tenchi called to her softly. "It can be as real as we wish." Sasami felt herself stiffen a chill shooting up her spine as he added. "I love you too!"

"Oh! Just shut the hell up!" She called angrily over her shoulder. "You're not him!"

It rocked her to the core of her being, treating even a image of Tenchi in such a fashion but it served to buttress her resolve.

"That's it!" She swore to herself. "I'm outta here!" with that Sasami made way down the main aisle shouldering right past the image of Azusa.

Upon impact her father toppled oddly backward, suddenly a two-dimensional cutout and lay flat against the floor where he fell.

"Hey ya little bitch!" someone snapped indignantly as Sasami hurried past. "You got any idea how much those fuck'n standees cost?"

"Figures," Sasami sighed quietly recognizing Yuba Obo at a glance. "The entire film crew!"

She found that mildly distressing, you'd think it being her dream and all she could have somehow 'deleted' little miss foul mouth at least!

As her distance to the main doors decreased the faux world of the cathedral strangely continued to unravel. Mahogany pews began to show backs of particleboard. Wedding guest further removed from the altar were reveled to be manikins, some only dressed from the waist up!

It seemed as odd that Sasami remembered just then she had recently seen a documentary on cinematography where set construction and blocking were covered in some detail.

Now close to the gallery where Washu's cannon had ejected them, Ryoko and Ayeka now stood somewhat side by side bawling out Ben Offer, the film crews engineer.

"What in gods name was the thing loaded with?" Ayeka was snapping as Sasami was moving past.

"It almost suffocated me!"

Even intent ignoring the dream around her, Sasami couldn't help noticing Ayeka, now presumably out of character, seemed to have an Osakan accent!

"Forget about her!" Ryoko was adding. "One of the wires on my flying rig snapped when that ball of shit smacked me!"

"And these hot lights are melting my face!" Ayeka butted back in. "I'm pushing thirty for Christ's sake! How long do they expect me to keep playing a nineteen year old?"

"Screw her face!" Ryoko interrupted again. "The lights are making my implants swell!" Sasami almost

stumbled on hearing on that one. Pausing long enough to gape at where Ryoko was 'hefting' select portion of her anatomy.

"I've already broken three bras!" She added angrily.

Shaking that aside, trying to stay focused, Sasami paused briefly considering her next obstacle. Considering now the elaborate train of her gown. Real or imagined, there was no way she was going to get out of here dragging thirty-three yards of white satin!

"Hey it's my dream!" She thought indignantly, wondering for a second who it was she might be addressing? Grabbing the end attached to the dress Sasami lifted finding its edge and pulled, getting a real surprise when nothing happened!

"What the hey?" She huffed to no one.

"It's just a dream! I should be able to tear this!" Rather than spend a useless amount of time, another strange concept given the current context, going over the 'rules of lucid dreaming', Sasami tried again, and again. No mater how hard she strained the pseudo satin simply would not tear.

"This is a load of bull-crap!" She griped angrily wondering what to do next.

"Could I be of some help?" Someone asked. Still in a state of frustration Sasami glance up not knowing what to expect. Seeing the cute blond stage assistant from Iron Chef Morimoto's appearance back in Tokyo!

"What was she doing here?" Sasami wondered. This was the second time 'Bubbles' had appeared in one of her dreams. She took a second to wonder again how anyone could hang such a name on someone.

"Not unless you can tear this!" Sasami asked point blank, indicating her wedding train. Bubbles studied the satin train with those magnificent blue eyes for a moment before smiling sweetly.

"I could..." She giggled regarding Sasami oddly. "But why don't you use these instead?" Holding out the set of chef's knives Sasami had won!

Gratefully receiving them Sasami tore open the package, controlling her haste just shy of lacerating a hand.

"Thanks Bubbles!" Sasami told her. "You're a life saver!"

"No," The bouncy little blond blushed. "Just another one of your phantoms." She then paused seeming to turn serious.

"You still think you still might wind up with Tenchi?" She asked curiously.

"That's what I'm going to find out!" Sasami grinned mischievously while hacking away. "Like they say on earth, It ain't over till the fat lady sings!"

"LA-LAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Echoed from somewhere behind her. Cranking their heads around that direction, Sasami and Bubbles got a view of a three hundred lb. Valkyrie, standing beside the distant altar, Caterwauling her brains out!

"You'd better hurry!" Bubbles smirked with emphasis.

Now liberated from the train, without another word, Sasami bolted out of the basilica, forcing her way past the huge metal doors. Sliding to a halt when her high heels met the tile floor of...

"The kitchen?" Sasami gasped. Glancing over her shoulder. Sure enough, the doors to the cathedral had vanished. Not that she'd had any wished to return.

Settling her features into an angry pout Sasami regarded her surroundings.

There was just something exceedingly odd about this dream scape. Something Sasami, who could pride herself on being about the one expert about this sort of thing.

Well, maybe her and Freddie Kruger, but in the mean time. Not sure of what to do Sasami opened the fridge and found everything was in immaculate order. Likewise the entire Kitchen shone as if scrubbed and polished.

It more like an idealized version of her kitchen than how it really was, she considered for a moment. Thinking that there was nothing strange about that. Dreams always emphasize and amplify.

What was striking her as patently odd though was there didn't seem to be the expected 'try and get her to notice something' that usually defined the sort of dreams she normally had.

Aside from the stint in the chapel there didn't seem to be any impudence to do anything at all like whenever she had a vision. This environment seemed more than content, waiting for her to actively do something and aside from the fore mentioned wedding, was unpopulated.