Chapter 67: 'Dysfunctional Family'

"MEYOW!" Ryo-chan lurched, all but whirling to glare directly down at Ayeka while rubbing her precious derrière.

"Well, I'm sorry you keep fidgeting!" The princess snapped mildly, replacing the straight pin into her wrist mounted pincushion looking at Ryo-chan ruefully. "If you'd hold still, I wouldn't have stuck you!" She added tersely. Even angry as she was, standing atop the kitchens borrowed stepping stool, attired resplendently in a flowing white wedding gown, Ryo-Oki was the picture of loveliness.

"Hee, hee! Ryo-chan got butt stuck!" Mayuka cackled from Ayeka's side. Dutifully holding a fishermen's tackle box full of dressmakers accoutrement. She continued the giggle until Ryo-Oki's eyes shot her way. "What?" She asked staring back, suddenly concerned.

"Well, I gave you a full statement last night Kego." Kiyone addressed the old telephone over in the entry hall. "I don't see what else there is to add." Key blinked several times looking perplexed, twirling the old style handset cord for lack of something better to do. "I think their still up there?" She murmured her part of the conversation. "Yes, with Lord Katsuhito." There was a slight pause, before Kiyone's eyes widened.

"Questions?" She gaped. "What questions?" having been leaning casually against the wall, Kiyone suddenly righted herself. "That's absurd!" She reasoned indignantly. "Why do they need to search this house?"

"What's going on Key?" Asked a voice further up the hall. Even given her current state of concern Kiyone could not help but smile at Sasami standing on the upstairs landing. From the carrot print house gown and bunny slippers to a case of Ryoko-esc 'bed hair' flying in all directions as the second princess blinked and yawned.

"Morning sleepy head." Kiyone waved. "Can't talk right now." She added pointing to the phone. "Of course I know it was an attempted homicide!" Key continued hotly to the receiver. "Kego! I was there!" Nodding, her expression, two parts grumpy, and the rest mostly asleep, Sasami made way down the last steps rounding the corner on automatic, semi shuffling to just inside the kitchen when realizing something was definitely amiss!

Pots were boiling! Pans simmering! Even the largest wok was out and up to cursing speed! But it was the identity of who was moving around, HER DAMN KITCHEN! However, Stirring this and sampling that! Which was doing a number on Sasami's mind.

"RYOKO!" She gasped.

"WHA!" The ex-scourge of the space lanes started, dropping an egg she was about to crack into the smallest of the big pans on the stove.

"WHAT THE HELLS GOING ON?" Sasami added astonished.

"Jezz Kid!" Ryoko recovered, reaching then bare handed into the boiling water and retrieving the egg. "Don't sneak up like that!" Sasami continued to stare, gaping at the intruder.

"What, what are you doing?" Sasami mouthed, somewhat stupidly.

"Making breakfast." Came the calm response as Ryoko bounced away from the stove. Seizing a cleaver sticking in the cutting board to chop a waiting cabbage in half, before proceeding to reduce it to ribbons at super speed.

"But ... I ALWAYS make Breakfast." Sasami muttered in obvious shock. "Every morning."

"Yeah, but you and Yosho got in so late last night," Ryoko explained. "We had a vote you should get some sleep. While we split up your chores."

"But, I LOVE making breakfast." Sasami murmured.

"Well, not today kiddo." Ryoko smiled. "Today, I got it covered!"

"But," Sasami whispered, swallowed. "I NEED to make breakfast!" She continued emphatically. "Everyone's counting on me."

"Don't worry!" Ryoko assured her over a shoulder. "I'm stick'n to the basics! Nothing fancy!" She paused. "Hope ramen and eggs is ok?"

"Heh, heh," Sasami stammered. "It's a nightmare. I'm still asleep!" In a semi daze she walked over to her largest pan and in a sort of morbid trance, removed its lid. "What the hell is this?" She moaned. Realization dawning even before Ryoko told her glibly.

"Fried okra and dicons!" Ryoko nodded, smiling! She was actually smiling! "Figured we needed some veggies in there and that's what we had!"

"There's carrots in the pantry." Sasami told her weakly.

"Didn't see any." Ryoko shrugged, then gestured. "These were closer to the door!"

"Heh, heh," Sasami muttered, turned and after a moment of considering all the sharp knives and what her love of the culinary arts were darkly prompting she should do with them, walked mechanically out of the kitchen. "Better head past the bathroom." Sasami muttered morbidly as she walked back to the corridor. "Make sure we got plenty of Pepto." She gotten about half way to her target when noticing, the laundry room door was open.

"Please god no!" She wailed, launching herself that direction. The door swung open, and Sasami continued her personal tour of hell. Cocked precariously atop the old washing machine, piles of damp, slightly pink linen dripping onto the floor greeted her eyes. A few feet away Mihoshi stood contemplating a bright red sweater and a jug of bleach.

"Now how did that happen?" She was moaning as Sasami stepped in.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Ayeka looked up, mirroring a questioning look on Ryo-chan and Mayuka faces.

"What dat noise?" Mayuka quipped, filling in the needed statement. The moment was completed when the sudden eruption, of a flurry of footsteps getting rapidly louder, were accompanied by shouts from both Mihoshi and Sasami.

"Help!" Mihoshi yelled. "Sasami calm down!"

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" The Second princess raved. Ayeka exchanged a confused look with Ryo-oki just as Mihoshi rounded the corner into the living room, with Sasami hot on her tail, brandishing an electric iron like a bludgeon! "YOUR DAYS ARE NUMBERED BUBBLE SKULL!!" So surprised were the assembled trio, no one said a word as Sasami chased Mihoshi into the dinning room.

"I'M SORRY!" The Detective first wailed while fleeing.

"Sasami gone coo coo!" Mayuka noted to Ryo-chan who emphatically nodded.

"Well, I wonder what could have caused?" Ayeka began.

"RYOKO HELP!" Mihoshi cried distantly. Obviously, the chase had reached the vicinity of the kitchen.

"Sasami?" They heard Ryoko say. "What's going on here?"

"GET OUT OF MY WAY!" Sasami warned.

"YEEK!" Mihoshi shrieked. "DON"T LET HER GET ME!"

"Sasami. Now you need to calm down!" They heard Ryoko calmly reply.

"Imagine," Ayeka found herself thinking. "Ryoko the peacemaker!"

"Now give me that iron!" Ryoko's voice concluded.

"YOU ASKED FOR IT!" Came the response, followed less than a second later by a loud 'DONG!' Then a more distant thud!

"OH MY GOD!" Mihoshi suddenly cried after a slight pause. "YOU KILLED RYOKO!"

(You bastards!) Rob.

"Oh my!" Ayeka swore, moving purposefully toward the hall with Ryo-chan and Mayuka in tow. At precisely that instant, a loud series of knocks on the door caused Kiyone to jump in surprise.

"SHIT!" She started.

"What?" The handset quipped in a tinny falsetto.

"No, not you Kego!" She corrected. "Hold on a moment would you?" Cupping the receiver Kiyone glared Ayeka general direction. "Would one of you deaf weenies please get the door? I'm on the phone with the police!" Ayeka and Ryo-chan halted, halfway to the kitchen when Mayuka nodded and turned.

"I'll get!" The toddler announced, starting back that way.

"MOW!" Ryo-chan snapped, sprinting past, glaring at the child while continuing to the door.

"Why not?" Mayuka asked, pausing bewildered.

"You, little girl NEVER answer the door!" Kiyone snapped, eyes flashing. "It could be a stranger!" Key then paused. "And what did Daddy tell you about strangers?" She added reproachfully. Drawing her self up Mayuka rolled her eyes.

"Don'n talk to, don'n walk with and if'n a strangers inda house run an hide till someone I know come an get me!" She recited.

"Very good!" Kiyone smiled, satisfied.

"Ohhh! My freak'n head!" Kiyone suddenly heard somewhere towards the kitchen.

"Ryoko!" Mihoshi called. "Your ok!"

"Yeah, heh, heh, whoops!" Sasami's voice said. "Sorry bout that!"

"OH, I GOT YOUR SORRY RIGHT HERE!" the still unseen Ryoko snapped. "LITTLE PRINCESS PREPARE TO GET CROWNED!"

"OH HELL!" Sasami yelped, from the sounds now obviously in motion!

"Come back here!"

"RYOKO! PUT DOWN THAT KNIFE!" Ayeka suddenly yelled.

"Dysfunctional family." Ryo-chan sighed, signing tiredly to Kiyone as she walked past and opened the door.

"Mess?" Ryo-chan asked politely, bracing herself once, again for the inevitable Gape, stammer and stare, if this were indeed a stranger.

"Good morning!" A young man, turned three/quarters outside the door began brightly. "My name is Hero Sheagame! I'm here on be..." Hero turned completely, looked and stopped. Ryo-chan winced,

"Here it comes!" She sighed, mentally, "Shame too!" She added to herself looking the visitor up and down briefly. "Kinda cute ... for a human." True however to her expectations, the young mans mouth proceeded to fall open as his eyes went vacant.

"Any second now," Ryo-chan thought dryly. Wondering what his exclamation would be Monster? Mutant? Werewolf, was one she had only recently added to the list of nasty names. It was so unfair! Suddenly confronted with the unexpected Hero felt the hackles raise on his neck. Finding him, self-staring into eyes the color of molten honey gold.

"Utiful." He mouthed. The barest hint of a smile creeping abet somewhat stupidly across his face.

"Meyow?" Ryo-ohki asked, Eyes going wide from the shock, noting at that moment, his were the most amazing shade of amber!

Suddenly a man divided, Hero stood ... staring.

"Who is she?" Part of his mind demanded, there were certainly no photos of this girl in his preparation materials. She was petite, a little shorter than he was. Perfect dancing height, as a school chum had once said! Hero had studied diligently the bios of every naturalized resident alien reputed to be in this prefecture! Nor was this little hirsute 'hottie' one of the imperium species he recognized! Whoever she was, her effect upon him was like electricity! Feeling his knees turning to rubber, hero was at war with himself.

"DON'T STAND HERE LIKE AN IDIOT!" that fore mentioned part of him screamed. "SAY SOMETHING!" However, Nothing would come out of his mouth. Unless you count, strange gurgling noises. Somewhere distantly, the logical portion of his mind, also struggled.

"Dufase!" It reasoned. "Your suppose to be here on official business!" That was enough to 'rattle' something loose. "Your career is at stake!"

"I um." Hero finally managed to stammer. "Would, like to please see."

"Mess?" Ryo-chan asked, suddenly realizing she was blushing. "WHY?" Her mind just as suddenly wondered. Moreover, why was her heart starting to pound?

"So, if I could like ask if, well ... Um" Hero blundered on.

"Um..." Ryo-chan echoed, glancing at her feet. "What is wrong with me?" Passed through her thoughts as well. Sure, he was cute but it wasn't like he was the only boy she had ever seen! Closer to the floor Mayuka glanced back and forth looking up and 'at' the proceedings while from around the back of Ryo-chan's head, Kiyone slowly leaned out, phone still perched on her ear. Observing with some perplexity first Ryo-ohki then the visitor for some moments before glancing then down at Mayuka.

"Let's see." She thought, starting a mental checklist. "Slurred speech, avoidance of direct eye contact, blush response and fidgeting."

"Ahhhhhhhhh!" She crooned knowingly.

"Did you fart or something Makibi?" Asked the tinny voice loudly over the phone.