Chapter 36: Demons, Toddlers and cat-girls oh my!

"WHA?!" A just arriving Ryoko yelped, suddenly finding her self standing at finger point, while Tenchi, among others blinked in surprise.

He however was the only one suddenly very aware of the pressure Ayeka was exerting on his arm as just to the other side of the Princess, certain galactic law officials where sizing up the pending predicament.

"And now it gets really interesting!" Kiyone thought glumly. Not, without an appropriate amount of sympathy for Tenchi to be sure.

"OH!" Andarka startled, smiling then at the new arrival. "And who might you be?"

"Button your lip sister, that's my line!" Ryoko snapped, covering she had just had the living shit scared out of her by turning belligerent.

"Tenchi! Who the hell are these people?" She added angrily.

"Well." Tenchi began, clearing his throat.

"They're a team of exorcists!" Kiyone suddenly blurted. "Here to rid the shrine of the demonic influence that has plagued the good people of these lands!"

The statement echoed through the air, leaving everyone startled, confused and dumbfounded. Well, that is except...

"T-THE HELL YOU SAY!!" Ryoko stammered loudly, angrily rolling up her sleeves. "WELL, I'M NOT GOING WITHOUT A FIGHT!"

"DAMN IT KIYONE!" Tenchi swore rising from his seat. "SHUT YOUR FLAPPING HOLE!! RYOKO! JUST CALM DOWN!!"

"BUT SHE JUST SAID!" Ryoko stormed, angry and confused.

"THEY'RE A FILM CREW!!" Tenchi bellowed. "HERE TO DO A DOCUMENTARY ON THE DAMN SHRINE!!"

"Daddy's gotta potty mouth!" Mayuka observed, getting up from the table.

"Gezzz!" Tenchi swore, siting back down in a huff.

"What the hell was all that about?" Wataru wondered aloud, watching Ben Ofer shrug as little girl was running over to the just arrived woman, squealing with undisguised joy.

"YOKO!" The child shouted and leaped, her arms opened for her infamous 'hug attack'. Over where she was still standing framed by the lake, Ryoko looked confused perhaps a little embarrassed. More than anything however she was ticked off! About to toss some choice words Kiyone's direction when Mayuka's charge melted it all away in an instant.

"OH HO!" Ryoko spouted playfully sidestepping, catching the child by back of her bibs and hoisted. Mayuka suddenly found herself inverted, with Ryoko starring pensively up at her.

"And just what kind of an attack was that sugarplum?" Ryoko teased sweetly.

"No Fair!" the little girl pouted.

"Ya left yourself wide open kid!" Ryoko finished with a rasp.

"Damnation!" Todd muttered quietly. His initial thoughts of "Another hottie?" All but canceled watching Ryoko hoisting the toddler over head effortlessly in a one handed grip? The girls sure were 'healthily' here about!

"Ryoko!" Tenchi complained, from the table. "She's not a sack of potatoes!"

"Take a chill-pill daddy dearest!" The ex-space pirate sneered, gently flipping Mayuka upwards, plucking the giggling child out of free-fall in an instant, cradling her in an undeniably a playful hug.

"So how's my favorite student?" She whispered as Mayuka wrapped arms about the ex-space pirate's neck and squeezed.

"Yoko!" She sighed. Ryoko took a moment, flashing Tenchi a 'See? Told you so!' look, shooting then a suitably more scathing one Kiyone's direction.

"Daddy?" Yuba mouthed wonderingly, then rolling her eyes speculatively at Sara. Who like each of the girls on the crew were rapidly re-evaluating the situation here abouts?

"Oh, me and you are gonna party later flatfoot!" Ryoko added as she approached the table. Nodding succinctly at a seemingly unperturbed Kiyone.

"Que Sera!" The detective shrugged, making a cocking motion with her left hand. "I'll bring the party favors!"

"No fight!" Mayuka complained, just as Ryoko was setting her down. Clearly deciding enough was enough! Taking hold, the little girl started pulling her towards the table.

"Yoko, come sit with daddy!"

"Now you're in trouble!" Kiyone softly sang, smiling staring apparently into thin air across the table. Refusing to see the harsh looks, both Ayeka and Tenchi shot her direction. Knowing most likely they could have felled an ox.

"Remind me to kill you later!" Tenchi muttered glancing toward impending doom.

"Scoot your ass down one click princess!" Ryoko suddenly gruffed, having only just noticed the seating arrangements. "You're in my spot!"

She had apparently been looking around somewhat confused at all the unfamiliar faces.

"I beg your pardon?" Ayeka returned sweetly, not even bothering to look. "Obviously preparing Raman all morning has scorched what little brain you have!" Ryoko responded by shrugging, then stepping back, sliding her left foot into launch position.

"I SAY NO FIGHT!" Mayuka suddenly yelled. Immediately forestalling pending posterior assault and commanding everyone's full attention as the little girl gestured at her side of the table.

"ALL YOU!" She said, pantomiming the required motion. "SCOOT DOWN!"

While mouths were busy dropping open, Mayuka reestablished her hold on Ryoko's hand.

"YOKO! SIT HERE!" She said, urging the stunned woman toward where she had been siting when Ryoko had first appeared.

"YES MA'AM!" Tenchi, Ayeka and Ryoko said in unison as everybody that side hurried to comply.

"She's Smart as a whip!" Ben said, clearly impressed. "How old is that little girl?"

"Better than halfway to three years old." Washu supplied, between bites. Seeming to take little interest in the almost brawl just averted.

"Uh huh!" Mayuka said, taking immediate interest whenever she was the topic of conversation.

"I this much!" she added as if her next words were the most important thing she would ever say, holding up two chubby fingers. "And a big smidge!" She finished flashing five then three fingers with her left hand.

"Holy Hirohito!" Ben gasped, a family man himself almost falling over with shock. "THAT is amazing!"

"Not so..." Ayeka cooed. "If you consider her lineage."

"Let's just thank god your mutation skipped her generation." Ryoko said quietly.

"WHAT WAS THAT?" Ayeka asked hotly.

"And she didn't crawl out of your shallow end of the gene pool either." Kiyone sighed softly.

"I'll kick YOUR ass!" Ryoko shot back.

"Yes! I'm very proud!" Tenchi laughed elaborately.

"And I'll just bet!" Ben agreed gazing at Mayuka, attempting to assist ignoring the crossfire. "You can say the name of everyone in your family!"

The little girl paused, she had been avidly watching the on going exchange. Now she turned, scrutinizing the older man.

"Why should?" Mayuka squinted up at him, instantly dubious. "You stranger!"

Ryo-Ohki stopped where she was still assisting Sasami in serving their guests. Her eyes narrowing as she too regarded the engineer from across the table.

"So, that's what one looks like!" She nodded firmly to herself.

"Well that's right of course!" Ben told Mayuka smiling. "You shouldn't talk to strangers!" He added sternly.

"But, your Daddy's right there!" He then nodded at Tenchi. "And if he says its ok?"

"Hmmm." Mayuka frowned, hands on hips glancing at Tenchi her self, brows furrowing.

"It ok to tell?" She asked, then waited while Tenchi considered.

Most of the people of the surrounding areas knew about Mayuka's little ho ho, 'play pretend'. It certainly made it easier than trying to explain all the dynamics of what not to say to a two and a big smidge little girl.

"And..." Ben added grinning, after seeing Tenchi slowly nod, enchanted with the intensity of her stare, reaching into his pocket. "What if I give you this?"

"WHOA!" Mayuka's ruby eyes almost popped out of her head as the midday sun flashed on the surface of a five hundred yen coin.

"But!" Ben continued, making the coin vanish from small fingers already reaching. Simultaneously dotting the precocious toddler's button nose. "Only if you can say everyone's name!"

"Well." Mayuka began, rubbing her nose slightly cross, wishing adults would leave it be! That, and the cheek pinching. Glanced around for a second then back. "I already said, you stranger!" She then pointed over at Wataru. "But I hear him call you Ben!"

The director just about lost it right then and there along with most the table as Ben's face froze in shock.

"I meant, just you're family sweetness." He added slightly red with surprise.

"Serves you right!" Wataru gasped cheerfully.

"Hey!" Mayuka interrupted, pointing again. "Who you?"

It took the director a moment realizing the child was indeed addressing him specifically. Surprised he glanced around the assembled group then back, never losing his grin.

"Oh! Well, I'm Wataru Higomi!" He told the child. Making a show of extending his hand, which after another glance toward a nodding Tenchi, Mayuka grasped.

"I make movies!" he added buoyantly.

"Good!" She answered. "You shut up now! I talking!"

"Mayuka!" Tenchi gasped, amid the resulting blast of laughter erupting almost drowning his admonishment.

"Would you care to comment again about her social development?" Ayeka glared as Tenchi grimaced, scratching back of his head, amid the dying snickers and wheezing.

"I Mayuka Masaki," the little girl indicated herself, having waited out the storm of laughter. "I ninja!" She continued, bowing at the waist to Ben.

"She my Auntie Yoko!" Mayuka then said pointing to Ryoko.

"That's me alright!" Ryoko smiled and waved.

"She wanted on twenty-six planets," Mayuka continued. "That cause she space pirate!"

"Wah?" Wataru mouthed, looking at the child strangely.

"Space pirate?" Todd muttered, glancing briefly from where Andarka sat positively beaming at the little girl.

"Lots of kids build little fantasies up and around their family members!" Ben whispered quickly, leaning close. "Nothing wrong with it."

Wataru shrugged, as the cameraman nodded, sparing a glance Kiyone's direction. Thinking this was starting to sound strangely familiar.

"She also..." Mayuka continued, pausing to concentrate on an unfamiliar word.

"An all-key-hall-lick." She finished with a definite nod.

"WHAH?!" Ryoko gasped as the table again erupted.

"Mayuka!" Tenchi snorted, unable to keep completely from laughing.

"Oo-boy..." Ben muttered, suddenly wondering if this had been such a good idea?

"And he, my daddy!" Mayuka continued after another moment. Indicating Tenchi with a chubby extended digit. From the continued cross expression, it was clear she didn't like waiting for the bursts of hilarity to subside. After all her fortune was at stake!

"Him Tenchi Masaki!" She then paused, at a sudden additional thought.

"But me just call him daddy for short." She added as Tenchi positively beamed with renewed pride, while Ryoko sat, muttering.

"Dang mouthy munchkin!"

"Out of the mouths of babes." Ayeka tittered uncharitably.

"Bite me!" Ryoko snapped.

"Daddy love to draw." Mayuka continued brightly. "That why he think he might be arc-key-tech someday like papa Yuki his daddy."

"How nice." Ben told her.

"But he also study to be pest." Mayuka added with a nod. "Jus like grampa."

"P-pest?" Ben blinked, glancing first at Tenchi then over at Katsuhito.

"Oh!" he suddenly reasoned. "I think you mean 'priest' honey."

"Sounded right the first time!" Washu laughed as Katsuhito's eyes darted her way.

"Hey! Kick your own damn leg!" She added angrily.

"Yeah but he think he might also be farmer." Mayuka told him, ignoring the mild 'tiff'. "He not sure, auntie Aka say that because he Indian.'

Ben again paused, just about to urge the little girl to continue, taking a moment to glance again the direction of her Father. Noting Tenchi well as Ayeka were studying the child curiously. The engineer reasoned Tenchi had the healthy if slightly darker completion common to the region. His mind did stray for a second, wondering how much time Ayeka spent indoors to vary that much.

"Now sweetie, I think you're confused." He then told Mayuka. "Both you, your daddy and grampa are definitely Japanese!" He didn't add, he had no clue as to Ryoko or the Bronze skinned babe that was hanging with Tony and Michele! The odd 'snicker' heard mysteriously in the air just then also eluded authoring.

"But auntie Aka say daddy Indian-sigh-sieve!" Mayuka complained, while Tenchi's 'beam' swung angrily over, threatening to burn a hole in the princess's face.

"Out of the mouth of babes!" Ayeka repeated, grinning with embarrassment

"Would you know what a mutton head is Mr. Ben?" Mayuka suddenly asked.

"Uh..." The engineer coughed his response. "Why don't you tell me about the rest of you family first honey?"

"Oh? Well, that there, my auntie Aka!" The child continued oblivious while Ayeka waved weakly. Smiling with equal enthusiasm.

"And she first..." Mayuka paused, looking suddenly worried, glancing again at her father. "You sure?"

"Long as you know what's pretend honey." Tenchi told her, wording it carefully. Wondering now if he was making a mistake but seeing no way to stop this without appearing out rightly rude.

"She first princess." Mayuka continued, glancing again Ayeka's direction.

"Oh?" Ben asked the child, believing he understood, grand visions aside. "So, she's the Woman of the house?"

"Ho!" Ryoko snorted suddenly. "As if..."

"Not know." Mayuka told him, genuinely scratching her head as Ayeka shot a glare Ryoko's direction.

"But Auntie Yoko call her miss bossy boots." She added.

"Among other things..." Kiyone muttered as Ryoko snickered totally unrepentant.

"Silence cretins." The princess growled under her breath, turning then to the child.

"Now Mayuka?" She then continued in tones dripping with honey. "Little Ladies aren't supposed to gossip."

"Yeah honey," Ryoko laughed. "Leave that to the resident wind bag!"

"To whom are you referring?" Ayeka demanded, glaring as Ryoko elaborately shrugged.

"So your Auntie is a real princess huh?" Ben interceded, hoping to 'move the situation along' before fatalities started to occur. "Well, I must say she certainly looks the part."

"Uh huh." Mayuka nodded. "She most beautiful woman in whole Jeri-Ryan Empire."

(Resistance is futile!)

Again the child paused, seeming to concentrate even as Ayeka smiled and shyly blushed.

"At least that what she told me." Mayuka added.

"Oh lord!" Kiyone gasped, burying face in the cradle of her arms, shoulders quivering as she laughed into the tabletop while beside her the princess stared blankly into space.