Chapter 24: Get a grip

"One can't help but wonder," Petra intoned solemnly. "How many times have feet of countless multitudes traversed these stones?" He paused, gesturing at the step on which he stood.

"Wearing them away as worshipers and acolytes tended to the needs of the spirits which bind these mountains together." Petra descended the flight of ancient stairs slowly as he continued his narrative.

"Listen!" He said, stopping. "One can almost hear them whispering!" He looked toward the other side of the wide stair his face a study of dawning wonder, eyes widening ever so slightly.

"Annnnd CUT!" Wataru said. "That was brilliant!" He walked toward the actor, already in the act of whipping out another in what seemed and endless supply of cigarettes.

"Naturally." Petra shrugged immodestly, while lighting up. "You sound surprised?" Wataru paused, up until this point he had considered calling a truce.

"Yep!" He then said, clapping an annoyed Petra on the back. "Rare performances like that almost make you forget what a complete wanker you are!" Wataru turned completely missing the gesture given crisply to his back, The actor's lit cigarette playing 'stand in' for his middle finger.

"And as for you!" He began, talking towards the current point of view of the camera. "Top notch Masaki! You handle that thing like a pro!"

"Thanks!" Tenchi said brightly, pulling his face away from the eyepiece. "Though, like I was telling Todd earlier, this little darling's a lot more machine than anything I've ever handled!"

Glancing around, things were sort of a controlled chaos at bottom of the last landing. Cables trailed away from mobile equipment linking control panels to portable generator. Aside from the stairway, itself the whole landing looked like a giant collection of black spaghetti with occasional groupings of electronic meatballs.

"You'll find my Tenchi, a man of infinite depth!" Ayeka cooed intent on playing her part to 'the hilt'.

"Sort of like the layer of bullshit you're spreading princess?" Kiyone drawled quietly to her side.

"Silence cretin!" the sharp-eared princess bristled. Smiling Kiyone shook her head. Ayeka certainly presented a sad image. Holding the clapboard with one bandaged hand she had mashed after insisting she 'knew how it was done. Key was certain the screech, which followed, was still echoing through everyone's ears.

"So, Mr. Higomi." Tenchi began, purposefully ignoring the two women. "What's next on the agenda?"

"Well." Wataru stood looking thoughtful. "We have most of the interior shots of the temple, the outer parameter of the shrine's been documented thoroughly, we've filmed most of the cut sequences."

He stood for a moment scratching his head.

"I want to get a complete series on the steps themselves." He then added. "Then there the publicity stills ... that's Tony's job, A few choice shots of the grounds and surrounding area." He paused. "Then we'll break for lunch!"

"Hurray!" Came a general, if distinctly unenthusiastic response from his crew.

"What do you losers think I'm paying you for?" Wataru shot back.

Over to the side of the landing Yoshi, amid checking cable connections stood glaring.

"It's just my luck!" She suddenly fumed. "Every time I find a guy I like, he's taken!"

"Well I'll tell you one thing." Sara swore, applying liberal amounts of duct tape to a malfunctioning light stand. "He's got shit-ty taste in women!"

"Hmm," Mikito added quietly running a wire tester over a misbehaving patch board. "Could be worse."

"How you figger?" Sara shot back angrily.

"It could be you!" Yoshi blurted nastily before Mikito could finish.

"Bitch!" Sara scathed softly.

"And what's the scope on that other broad?" Mikito then wondered, moving along. "She hangs all over hunk-o-rific like they were..." She let the thought trail off. It was getting uncomfortable.

"Do you see the way she's built?" Yoshi added unhappily sparing a glance Kiyone's direction. "Muscles everywhere! That's just so, undignified in a girl!"

"She's probably a bodybuilder." Sara sulked.

"Or just a local plow-girl." Mikito added glumly. "Most likely spends her whole day milking Holsteins."

"What's a Holstein?" Yoshi asked suddenly, curious in spite of herself.

"IT'S A STUPID COW!" Sara informed her angrily. "Sort'a like you!" She then added.

"You know." Mikito said speculatively picking her teeth. "She just might be 'milk'n' that blond chick that's with Tony!"

"Yeah." Sara said slowly, again glancing. "Now that you mention it, she is awful butch!"

"What are you guys talking about?" A bewildered Yoshi finally asked.

"Oh, for gods sake!" Sara rasped. "Did you grow up in a convent?"

"You think that was her..." Mikito finally ventured. "Lover?"

"Didn't you see them fighting on the stairs?" Sara Asked.

"Well," Yoshi muttered uncomfortably. "Blondie did call muscled girl her partner!"

"So," Mikito sneered, while nodding. "I guess big girls the colonel, and blondie's her little chicken!"

"Finger lick'en good!" Sara added disgustedly.

"THAT'S IS SO GROSS!" Yoshi wailed.

"Can't you hear them over there?" Todd asked softly. Several feet away he'd been listening intently, suddenly finding he simply couldn't take it any more!

"It's not like I really care." Kiyone breathed nonchalant as she started away.

"I've got better things to do than worry about a passel of clucking hens!"

Walking over to where Wataru was standing, leaving a very impressed Todd Runion in her wake.

"Wow Masaki." He said shaking his head in wonder. "She really is ... Something."

"Who?" Tenchi responded. "Oh, you mean Kiyone?" He added sounding mildly surprised. "Yeah I guess you could say that."

"What are you talking about?!" Todd muttered amazed. "She just so ... awesome."

Oh?" Tenchi eyed him sourly. "Why don't you go for it then?" He asked smiling.

"No thanks!" Todd answered quickly. "She also happens to be NUTS!"

"Really?" Tenchi regarded him curiously. "What makes you say that?"

"Well I tried to talk to her earlier, " He began earnestly. "And she started ... Whoa!" Todd suddenly blurted.

Following the direction of his gaze, Tenchi found himself transfixed, and in complete agreement as well. Gazing, as descending along the stairs, short skirt riding the breeze, Mihoshi presented a very appealing sight indeed.

Having only glimpsed the outfit before, its full impact was quite simply stunning. A few feet away, noticing Tenchi's sudden rapt attention, Ayeka swung her own gaze and uttered a gasp as Mihoshi continued her descent. Coming down behind where Petra and Wataru stood at that moment, arguing.

"You need to raise the focal angle!" Petra seethed at the producer. "You're filming so low everyone can see up my damn nose!"

"Fraid they'll notice nothing's up there but an occasional finger?" Wataru shot back. "Has it occurred to his lordship we're filming on a flight of stairs?"

"That's no excuse for shoddy camera work!" Petra rasped, before pausing to eye Wataru coldly. "Though in your case there probably isn't one!"

"Aww!" The director feigned, grabbing at his chest. "Now ya done hurt my feelings!"

"Besides!' He continued bluntly. "If I raise the focal angle anymore Petra, all your ex-teenybopper fans..." Wataru suddenly paused, considering. "Or should I say teenybopper ex-fans? Would see that board you stand on and realize you're a goddamn midget!"

"Excuse me?" Mihoshi suddenly asked causing both men to turn.

"Did this gentleman?" She indicated Wataru. "Call you Petra?"

Eying the lovely newcomer sourly due to her choice of conversation, Wataru glanced briefly Petra direction just as the Actor was opening mouth. No doubt to issue some derogatory remark when a squeal of delight suddenly escaped Mihoshi.

"Oh my god!" She yelled, bouncing in place. "You're Petra Yokohama!!"

Mild disdain transforming into complete disgust, Wataru rolled eyes and pitched the script he had been holding over his shoulder, walking away as Petra Smugly slipped into 'the mode'.

"Why yes!' He smiled, flexing. "Yes I am!"

"I knew it!" Mihoshi stammered eyes as big as teacups, clearly impressed. So much in fact, she produced her ubiquitous puffball, from its current residence in her hair. Hands flashing as she squeezed and twisted, rapidly producing a steno pad and pen.

"My, my!" Kiyone suddenly gasped quickly managing to intervene. Blocking most of Mihoshi's little slip by interposing between her partner and the grips. Even so, she was certain they had seen something.

"Aren't you getting just a little too, excited here partner?" Key added gruffly. Noting, of all the people on the landing, only Petra in the act of posing and Wataru, pretending to retch over a convenient railing had failed to notice her partner 'Rubik's cubing' the puffball's transformation.

"But Kiyone!" Mihoshi exclaimed, frantically pointing. "This is Petra Yokohama!" Having done her best, to cover the slip, Kiyone now paused actually looking at the actor.