Tenchi Muyo (All Good Things)
Copyright© 2009 by Dreaming Bear
Chapter 101: 'Funaho chan.'
"Groggily I tried to reassure the panicky young gaggle of women, rapidly finding myself at spear point!" Ena's words continued contritely.
The beach Ryoko now found herself standing upon had that curious blend of the familiar and the unknown. After all, she had trod the surface of many worlds and after a certain point, one beach front is much like another.
The tidal pool in which the current drama was playing itself out, lacked the same overall serenity of a calm coastal day. Yet it was a scene at once immediately familiar.
How many times had it been she, that had been surrounded by the ignorant or the fearful?
The words monster! Demon! Or Devil! Ringing in a dozen languages and dialects in her ears?
"I was just about to get a net thrown over me when Azusa chose that moment to come to his senses and rise slowly to his feet.
Even swaddled in robes caked in salt he presented a commanding presence!
Insuring the girls were instantly awestruck!
I came to find out later, they hadn't had a male in their presence for over five years!
Some of the younger ones having never actually seen a boy!
Of course he couldn't speak their language...
However, well ... some things as they say are universal.
It was enough at least, to keep me from getting a rock set promptly to my skull!
Until the group's leader, an older girl could be hastily summoned.
I recall seeing her for the first time. Walking slowly towards us, knee length jet black hair, dark eyes both the color and the shape of large almonds.
I also remember, rather vividly the look of total astonishment which slowly dawned upon Azusa as she strolled smoothly towards us in the loose tunic and abbreviated shorts all the girls were wearing while combing the beach for clams. On her however...
Well, that girls legs, as they say went all the way up to her damn neck!
I confess I was instantly jealous of the utterly agog looks Azusa was giving her!
And so, it was thus that we first met ... Funaho."
"That's the queen?" Ryoko gasped her eyebrows attempting to climb to the back of her neck.
Never having seen let alone-imagined Funaho without her royal robes! Or so young!
Dressed in little more than what amounted to fisherman's rags, even she had to admit. That was one spicy enchilada!
"Oh my god!" She almost panted excitedly.
"This just keeps getting better and better!" Ryoko elated.
"I knew the queen was from earth but I didn't know she was a fisherman!"
"A-Actually." Ena interjected with a sniff. "She was a..."
There followed what seemed a deliberate pause, insuring Ryoko's attention was instantly fully upon her guide.
"Yeah?" Ryoko prompted expectantly.
"A ... swine herder." Ena told her uncertainly, visibly wincing.
"WHAT!"
"A pig farmer." Ena murmured weakly.
The response was a hushed prolonged silence while Ryoko digested that little tidbit. Followed by a kind of snort. And then...
"Excuse me." Ryoko managed to gasp.
Before what little control she had broke and she proceeded to double over laughing.
"Well." Ena huffed defensively after a second or two.
"It's not that funny!"
"Oh yes it is!" Ryoko assured snickering, barely able to catch her breath.
Ena observed for some moments with mild disdain. watching Ryoko roll around on the floor 'or what passed for one here' before she was at last compelled to speak.
"Well ... if you'd rather I not tell you anymore..." Ena sniffed, a little annoyed with the reaction.
"No! No!" Ryoko waved, desperately attempting to coordinate holding her sides and wiping at watering eyes at the same time.
"I really want to hear this!"
Ena continued to eye her tiredly for some moments before with a shake of her head decided to just let it go.
"Perhaps..." She began anew after an additional moment to gather her thoughts.
"There is just something buried deep within the female psyche which attempts to place a claim on her mate."
There was a tinge of sadness to her projected voice as she and Ryoko observed the scene continuing on the beach a few feet away.
"But as it has been said 'kisses are not contracts'.
thoughts of that very nature were certainly playing about my mind.
At any rate, after she'd completed her appraisal of him, the second mine and Funaho's eyes met we were instantly the bitterest of rivals.
Of course Azusa later insisted he wasn't flirting!
Ha! At the time I simply refused to believe it!
Forced to watch him attempting to communicate with a bevy of giggling Turvains! While I was relegated to Monster duty!"
"What's a Turvain?" Ryoko interrupted, actually raising her hand.
Causing Ena to stare at her oddly for both the interruption and the accompanying gesture.
"An eater of carrion and dung on my home world of Boralis!" She supplied, both words and an image. After taking a moment to recollect her thoughts.
"Ah ... Yuck!" Ryoko grimaced at what appeared to be a squat, thoroughly unholy cross between a pig and a dog. Covered with course brown hair. At least from stubby tail to shoulders that is. From there what remained was exposed pink warty looking skin. All the way to a blunt moist looking snout.
"At any rate." Ena continued.
We were eventually led from the sea shore to a place of temporary residence.
It seems these young women would come to this place, fishing periodically.
Not only to supplement their food supply but to obtain fish and quantities of drift wood to sell.
In the lull between their attentions upon him, Azusa did his best to assure me of his continuing fidelity.
I realized, even then that perhaps I was being petty!
But ... watching them orbit him like planets to their sun...
To say nothing of how Funaho was looking at him!"
"Yeah," Ryoko interrupted quietly. "I've been there myself."
In the wake of the statement both sat mute for a few moments regarding the other.
"Must'a been a real bitch to sit and take." Ryoko concluded.
"Well, it turns out there was another reason they 'latched' on to him in the fashion they did." Ena continued.
"Apparently during those time there were localized conflicts between many relatively small factions. Disputes over things such as lands and chattels as is the way of most petty dictators.
We came to understand the local magistrate had 'conscripted' all able-bodied males within sway into his private militia.
Leaving Funaho's family without a single one of its male members!
Even their grandfather had been 'pressed' into service!
I confess at the time, I was confused as to the more subtle undercurrents of the situation.
But it seems lands and property in that time could only be held legitimately by a recognized male heir!
Funaho and her family were on the brink of loosing their home!
Worse still, the central Chinese government of that time viewed women as chattel as well!
To be bought and sold as any other livestock!
Under those conditions an unattached, amiable male was worth more than his weight in gold!
What did it mater if he could barely speak the language?
Azusa was a male presence!
With which Funaho and her family may have seen as the key to holding on to her family's home!
Though I will admit it took Azusa and I over an earthen month to piece this together in retrospect.
During which he became acquainted with all aspects of managing a pig farm, while I was banished to dwell in the shadows!
I of course was raised in an agrarian village and so, knew well the grind of such a day to day existence. My poor prince had no such experiences to draw upon.
Daily martial training however gave him sufficient toughness to adapt well enough.
Suddenly being the lord of his own personal 'Hiram' certainly couldn't have hurt!
Which was certainly fortunate, as in spite of her obvious affections towards him, Funaho road Azusa like a dog!
Making certain to let her disdain for me be known as well.
Yet, little by little we adapted to our new roles.
My skills in herbalogy proving invaluable to the household.
Specifically when managing to bring down the fever of Funaho's elderly grandmother Kima.
Above all we were together! He and I.
Even purgatory can be paradise when you are with the one you're love!
Having no better prospects we settled into an existence, which was to last five standard years as earth measures time.
I'm pleased to say I learned many useful skills! Including mastering reading of The Tarot."
"It seems that 'Kima' the grandmother of the family was well traveled in her younger days.
Having toured with a company of acrobats along the so called 'Silk Road' as a teller of fortunes.
Eventually Adding European style divination to her formidable native repertoire.
The rapport between myself and the old woman thus seemed obvious.
In her I found a kindred spirit and tools that eventually honed my clairvoyance to it's present razors edge!"
"Can you really see the future?" Ryoko suddenly interrupted.
Grimacing slightly in the afterthought. She as quickly dismissed the notion that she might be asking a rude question. Given the current circumstance.
"After a fashion." Ena confirmed with a quiet smile, obviously unperturbed by the interruption.
"Most people however fail to understand the future is always in motion."
She paused growing mildly introspective.
"I merely read possible outcomes based upon current events." She added thoughtfully.
"To even attempt to foretell the future is to change it. Divination works best the further it is removed from the source."
"Whasit?" Ryoko kind muttered, enlisting a sight chuckle from her host.
"As I have indicated." Ena responded with the gentlest of shrugs.
"It is difficult to foretell events which directly involve myself. I believe however a sufficient number of events foretold by me have come to pass to lend credibility to my powers!"
"As a mater of fact," Ena resumed her narration.
"It was those very powers that never foretold the next twist in my and Azusa's fate.
As I have indicated, my powers of divination are 'greater' in most respects than those of Elay My mother.
At this juncture of my life however they were still woefully underdeveloped!
I believe also I may have harbored a resentment still hidden deep within me.
A dark personal loathing of those same powers which had ultimately failed allowing me to save my parents. Who can say for certain?
Never the less the stage was set for the day strange men came to the door of Funaho's home."
"Misha, A bright loving flower and the youngest of the sisters was busily grounding rice flower when the fatefull knock suddenly came.
That none of the immediate family would bother banging on the door being a forgone conclusion.
I had little choice but to again hide my 'startling' appearance in the back of the home with Kima.
Begrudgingly allowing the little girl to answer the door."
"Where is the eldest daughter?" A mans gruff voice issued demandingly without preamble.
Ryoko instantly bristled. Even through the limited view of the partially opened door any jackass could've told that they were addressing a child!
"My oldest sister is out mending a fence good sir." Young Misha responded proudly.
While Ena carefully peered round the adjacent rooms door frame.
Her expression curious yet grave as she tried covertly to catch a glimpse of the 'caller'.
"I was already torn between my own preservation and that of the little girl.
Unless, of course these 'men', for I could hear other deep voices could dismiss the sudden presence of a blue skinned wench!
Nothing seemed to occur for several moments. Then I began to hear a rhythmic thumping of something impacting against the side of the house. Almost immediately, Misha became agitated!"
"What is that man doing?" The girl demanded, trying to see while attempting to keep much of the door as possible between her and these interlopers, even as the pounding abated.
"By order of the magistrate little one," The brutish man promptly answered. "These lands are to be seize!"
"I suggest you run quickly and fetch your sisters!"
"As I stood listening to this, my eyes were instantly roving about. Searching for something, anything that might provide a key to this current dilemma. Ultimately, they settled upon the chopping axe hanging just inside the door.
It was only the fear of somehow making the situation worse, which kept me from charging out into that pack of jackals!"
"My lord!" Misha pleaded. "My grandmother is bedridden!"
She then paused slightly glancing behind her, inside the house with a meaningful expression.
"I can't leave her in the house alone!"
"Misha was quite the courageous little protector. While Kima was sickly, I'm quite certain she was more concerned in that moment, trying to keep them from discovering me!"
"Then perhaps I should speak to her!" The man's voice gruffed harshly...
"Thus Prompting I must make the hardest of choices. Still just inside the small room to the back of their house, my hands fell to a herders staff propped inside the doorway to the back room. Just as a wizened voice, whispered from the bed."
"Don't be a fool girl!" Elderly Kima hissed with as much force as she was able. Pulling Ryoko's gaze that way as the old woman angrily waved at Ena.
"Hide yourself!" She added, gesturing toward side of the bed upon which she lay.
"She is very ill!" The little girl at the door just then gasped.
"You mustn't!" Misha added her small voice laden with strain as she was actively blocking the door using a foot to imped the intruders progress.
"Move aside!" The man growled menacingly prompting Ena's face to set in lines of rage. Ryoko watched as She squared her shoulders, hefting the herders staff. Obviously about to cry out a challenge and be damned the consequences. A full good second before a familiar voice cut across the babble outside.
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?" Funaho bellowed.
"Bellowed?" Ryoko interrupted looking at Ena incredulously.
"The queen of Juri bellowed?"
In the realm between their minds, Ena took a moment to focus an annoyed expression her way.
"She wasn't 'The Queen' back then Ryoko my dear." She replied tersely.
"And, I thought you wanted to hear this?"
"I do!" Ryoko assured her quickly.
"It's just ... Well, I'm having a time adjusting to some of this!"
"People do change Ryoko." Ena shrugged semi impatiently.
"But I assure you, At the moment she confronted that group of men sent by the magistrate, Funaho was the picture of regal fury!"
"SISTER!" Little Misha gasp with relief.
"The sudden noses prompted I again inch closer to the door." Ena continued aloud. This time speaking from the guise of her younger self.
"Just in time to hear something swish through the air close by. Followed instantly by a startled outcry and the loud report of a wooden staff impacting upon one of the porch supports!"
"WOMAN! ARE YOU INSANE?" Ryoko heard another mans voice exclaim.
"We are sent by the magistrate himself!" The man who had first spoken gasped, obviously from the sound of things while doing a bit of ducking, as the whistle of the staff repeated.
"On his official business!"
"It was at this point I was able to at last peer outside." Ena added as she moved from her place now within the drama. Carefully peering through the outside door.
"And so at last beheld the families eldest sister, pressing a desperate attack!"
"Is that a fact?" Funaho grunted, in the very process of whipping a herders staff round, rather effectively Ryoko noted. Just the same...
"Gunted?" Ryoko muttered abstractedly.
"Stop interrupting!" Ena snapped breaking momentarily from her re-enactment to glare.
"Sorry!" Ryoko added meekly, deciding to just sit back and enjoy the ride. Which was confusing enough without all the switching around.
"You interfere at your own peril!" The man further warned while in the act of hastily giving ground. Before Funaho's wild eyed assault.
"I had no intention of standing around while this group of ruffians just 'did' as they please." Ena resumed even as she illustrated visually.
"I stood 'tensed' merely waiting for the right moment to spring into the fray. Considering that perhaps my 'bizarre' appearance, would lend an advantage to our cause!"
"Then!" Funaho growled, punctuating every word with a sweep of her staff.
"State! Your! Business!"
The last pronouncement ending with a loud whack! against something vaguely metallic.
"By order of lord Tanaka!" The man who had first spoken intoned.
"He was a great burly example of a male." Ena inserted. Continuing her narrative even as the man in question was 'sighted'.
Huge and fat now that Ryoko was at last allowed to see him. Obviously reading from some parchment stretched between his large paw-like hands.
"These lands belonging Sa-sato kukoyo are to be surrender on to his need!" The man continued.
There followed a moment of intense silence, broken only by the sounds of distant swine rooting about. Before that is, one much closer to the house continued his monologue.
"And so, all occupants must vacate by the next rising of the sun!"
He then paused, 'gloatingly' from the sound of it.
"Or be surrendered up as chattel!" He then finished smugly.
"You can't put us off our lands!" Tanya, another of the sisters, a few years younger than Funaho suddenly cried. Apparently the family was gathering and did not like what they were hearing or seeing.
"Is this how the Magistrate rewards our grandfather for his service?" She continued angrily.
It was interesting Ryoko noted, the generous amount of sarcastic 'venom' the girl loaded on to the words 'Magistrate' and 'service' when she spat that sentence.
"I felt my already chilled blood drop to sub-arctic levels when I heard some among the gathering of men chuckling to themselves." Ena added from her place in side the home.
"Why ... As to that very matter!" The man who had spoken first added.
"It is with deepest regret," He continued, matching point for point Tanya's previous sarcasm.
"That we must inform you of the, unfortunate demise, of one 'Sama' Kukoyo."
The man again paused, noting as even as I did a chorus of sibilant gasps.
"Who gave his life one moon ago in service to the cause." He added with tones dripping of insincerity.
"Grandfather?" I heard one of the girls ask; even to this day, I am not at all certain which of the sisters had spoken.
"How... ?" Funaho asked quietly, trying to find the words. At that moment sounding very young herself.
"How did he die?" She succeeded on her second attempt.
"Ah, Most unfortunate!" Another male voice suddenly spoke invisible from Ena's limited view.
Probably one of the warriors who'd accompanied the process server.
"Old man, heavy armor, fast ox-cart!" the unseen speaker positively sneered.
"The old fool never saw it coming!"
"I-I'm certain your grandfather did not suffer long!" Yet another male voice spoke up. After a moment of stunned silence.
"Again, it most likely was one of the warrior." Ena continued glancing at where Ryoko stood from her place at the door.
"One who seemed to be trying to show some shred of civility!" She added with a derisive snort.
"At any rate, it did not mater for at that precise moment Funaho suddenly screamed!"
"YOU BASTARDS!" the eldest daughter cried in instant counterpoint. Exploding up from where she had slumped despondent and out of Ena's immediate view. Then, from the sound of it, leaped into the mist of the men staff swinging!
"I myself could no longer stand idle!" Ena adamantly declared as she hurried breifly away from the door.
"Kima, their grandmother while bed-ridden still insisted in doing what she could for the household." She continued while in motion.
"Thus, among other things the back of the small house served as a dumping ground for clothes in need of mending." She halted long enough to grab the 'obi' from one of the girls kimonos, Proceeding then to wrap it hastily around her face and head.
"Beats the 'ol ninja head hanky!" Ryoko suddenly snorted.
"I Thought I warned you..." Ena paused long enough to growl.
"Ok! Ok! I swear I'll shut up!"
"Completing my 'Make shift' mask." Ena then added directly. "I preceded to charge to the front of the house grabbing the herder staff on my way."
By the time she'd arrived outside, Ryoko saw Ena's my initial estimate of four or five men woefully in error. No less the twenty able bodied intruders were present in and around the area of the front porch! Judging from the number of busted lips, rapidly swelling noses and individuals sucking dirt.
She was pleased to note that Funaho and her sisters seemed to be doing quite well!
To the side of porch, one of the 'soldiers', if this lot of armored ruffians could even jokingly wear the name was doing his best to crawl away from Lua. As one of the younger sisters harriered him with wooden ladle.
"Yes!" Ryoko elated. Seeing at least three of the others were stumbling blindly around from where one of the girls had thrown cinders in their eyes.
Unfortunately, the flush of victory was to be quite brief when one of the men managed to wrest the staff sudden from the eldest daughter.
Bringing the but around into Funaho's midsection before before either she or Ryoko could blink!
Funaho went down hard Kreening the smallest of wines as she fell to one knee. Partially due to want of the air the impact had robed from her.
One of the girls uttered a heart rending scream watching in horror as the man who'd felled Funaho her raised the staff, preparing for a killing stroke!
"I jolted forward!" Ena narrated directly.
"Desperately hoping to intervene! Even as I began to move I knew I was too far!
Funaho's head would surely be a splintered mass by the time I would arrive! When the downward stroke was intercepted, the thunderous whack seemed even more deafening!"
There was a kind of stutter in the surrounding motion as for a brief second every eye in the vicinity was turned upon the figure upon whose staff the blow had been turned.
As the viewpoint whirled, Ryoko again was treated to the sight of Azusa, Now standing above a still kneeling Funaho holding his own staff in a relaxed gripe regarding her attacker with a look that would have chilled a solar flare!
"Who the hell..." The man managed to stammer.
The statement hadn't completed when a up stroke violently forced aside the man's stave. Just before faster that the eye could easily follow the crown prince had whirled the opposing end into his opponents jaw!
"Dog!" Azusa spat stolidly, using an earth word, he'd only recently acquired.
"As the man bit sod Funaho managed to look up." Ena resumed.
"Something she told me later she thought she'd never do again ... strait in to Azusa's smiling face."
"A-Azusa?" Funaho whispered astonished.
"My adopted sister told me, several years after the fact, it was at that precise second she truly lost her heart to him.
It was also the same instant all the men standing about decided to rush him!
I will not make undue statements as to the 'value' of any training these so called men may have received, but they suddenly found themselves facing someone who'd been trained in hand to hand combat since he could walk!
In short, they didn't have a prayer! Less than four minutes were all Azusa required.
Turning the lot of strutting braggarts into discrete piles of whimpering battered flesh.
Stopping just short of taking their miserable lives."
Indeed, it was a thrill for Ryoko to watch as well, Azusa even fought like Tenchi!
Similar moves, similar style. Apparently Yosho had past the lessons he had learned with little to no distortion. One distinction managed to catch her eye however.
Azusa seemed to 'get off' on the combat far more than Tenchi ever did! To the point of playing with his opponents with a kind of fiendish glee.
At any rate, he walked through the pack of roughens like they were a troupe of propped up dolls!
"Leave..." Azusa growled, again using one of the few 'Earth words' he solidly knew.
Considering the 'eloquence' of his other form of communication, it appeared the soldiers read him loud and clear.
Ryoko somehow kept herself from busting a gut at the way the group of men crawled stumbled or in most cases ran in their desire to comply.
Only one of their number chose to tarry at the farm's gateway.
"YOU WILL REGRET THIS!" The process sever warned. Obviously quaking in his sandals.
It only took Azusa five running steps his direction, insuring he too took to his heels.
"As the last bruised, frightened buttocks vanished down the road," Ena continued aloud. From her place with in the drama.
"Azusa suddenly found himself again besieged! This time however by almost every one of the sisters! Gathering excitedly around their young savior!"
From the huge grin finding purchase upon his face, Ryoko could plainly see Azusa certainly didn't mind the adulation!
Noting also, in the act of removing her mask, Ena eyed the proceedings in a kind of jealous sulk.
Ryoko cleared her throat about to make a comment to that effect, when a familiar voice cut through the jubilation.
"ARE YOU ALL IDIOTS?" Funaho stormed, forcing her way into the group tightly packed around the young man.
"This is not over!" She continued pulling first one then another of her sisters away from Azusa.
"They will be back!" She hissed meaningfully into the face of the second girl she'd pulled away.
"As I have already stated," Ena's mental narration resumed. "Azusa's command of the language was not the best.
Clearly from where I stood I could see the actual 'trust of Funaho's statements were sliding right past. I had to take matters into my hands."
"Beloved," Ena spoke to Azusa directly using galactic common.
"They say, those men will be returning."
"while my grasp of their tongue was only moderately better than Azusa's," Ena quickly explained.
"Being able to 'read thoughts' allowed me to 'sense' the meaning behind the words."
"Let them come!" Azusa swore with a single snort. Spiting contemptuously while glaring the direction of the departed men.
"Obviously days living on a hog farm had dulled some of my beloveds sensibilities" Ena projected sadly.
"Ether that or he was riding on a wave of testosterone so high he couldn't hear you!" Ryoko replied aloud.
"We must flee this place!" Funaho told the group emphatically.
"Everyone go and start packing!" She then turned to one of the older girls.
"Lua? Take Brea and Lin, start gathering anything we can carry!"
"What is she saying?" Azusa demanded suddenly. As he at last noted Funaho's urgency and the general 'shift' in the girls moods.
"She's says we must flee before those men return." Ena explained to him.
"To be honest I myself was astonished at how calmly he was taking the situation," She added directly.
"But then he was a prince of a powerful empire.
Perhaps it was that which desensitized Azusa from understanding our peril."
"Ena!" Funaho suddenly snapped irritably, pronouncing the name curiously to Ryoko's ears. It almost sound like she was saying 'Yena'.
"Make him understand!" Funaho gestured emphatically.
"They will return in greater numbers!"
"I found myself at a strange moment right then." Ena silently remarked.
"This was the first time Funaho had bothered, to actually use my name in the entire time we had known each other."
"They will kill him..." Funaho added meaningfully.
"With such passion in her voice, even my disdain for her was momentarily shunted aside."
"Beloved?" Ena said, again turning to Azusa.
"They say, they will bring more men when they return..."
She paused studying his expression, obviously wondering if he could be swayed.
"Surely even you can not stand against so many?"
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