Chapter 6

Hannah battled her inner conflict for most of the day. Adam's deteriorating mental condition was a huge strain for her to deal with. There was no way she could continue to lie beside a man who was capable of the kind of acts that Adam seemed comfortable with.

The idea of having the chance to live with Ben and Sarah also excited her — she had to admit that. Over the years she had shared in sex games with the water twins by using the nugget Ben had given her. The thought of playing those games for real was highly arousing for Hannah.

Set against those considerations, she had children, grandchildren, great and great-great grandchildren spread throughout the network of caves. Could she really leave all of them behind?

She surreptitiously packed up the few belongings that she would take with her if she did decide to go. She told herself that that wasn't making a decision one way or the other, just being ready in case that's how things panned out.

Trying to act normal was difficult with such a huge decision weighing heavily on her mind, but she tried. By the time she was putting the finishing touches to the evening meal (a simple garnish for a dish made in the replicator) she had still not made up her mind what to do. That changed during the meal.

"Thomas has been busy," Adam told her in between mouthfuls of beef stew. "He already has four rockets that he can adapt and he thinks three will be enough to blast David's camp from the face of the planet. In two days the Stellarites are going to teach David and his people the ultimate lesson. Ha, ha, then we'll see who's the smartest!"

Hannah had had enough. The image of the missiles exploding, tearing her daughter to shreds, killing an entire community, was just too much. She dropped her knife and fork and walked quickly from the cave.

"You're sleeping on your own tonight!" she called over her shoulder in disgust.

The remainder of the evening was busy for Hannah. She worked out all of the people she needed to see before she left and dropped in on each of them to chat. Nothing could be said about her plans of course, but she did have the pleasure of seeing the important people in her life once more before Ben did whatever it was he was going to do.

Her last visit of the evening was to Elizabeth. Sometimes Elizabeth's negative attitude wore Hannah down and she went days without speaking to her. When all was said and done however, Elizabeth was still one of her two oldest friends and that counted for something.

Elizabeth could sense that something was on Hannah's mind, as she frequently lost the thread of their conversation. Thomas had told his twin what Adam had asked him to do and Elizabeth worried that Hannah was feeling the strain of trying to live with that.

"You know, you can talk to me about what's bothering you if you want. It might help," said Elizabeth.

For a moment she could swear she saw panic in Hannah's eyes and then it was gone.

"I don't know what you mean," Hannah replied.

"It's the missiles, isn't it? You're worried about Lillian and scared of what Adam's capable of. I can be an understanding ear — a shoulder to dry on if you need it," offered Elizabeth.

Hannah breathed a sigh of relief to herself. For a second she had thought that Elizabeth somehow knew that she was planning to leave. Instead, she could see now that her friend had read her funny mood as being down to Adam's plans.

"There's no way of stopping him. I've seen him like this all too often and no one will be able to change his mind. I was hoping that maybe you could persuade Thomas to ensure the missiles malfunctioned," said Hannah wearily.

"If he did that, then who do you think Adam would be gunning for next? I feel sorry for you because of your daughter, but the way Thomas tells it, we're all in real danger. If nothing is done, David could attack us. Apparently he has these really powerful weapons and we wouldn't stand a chance. Thomas is billing this as a pre-emptive strike."

"Do you really believe that? I mean, for thirty years David has left us alone. Why would he suddenly decide to attack us now? The only people doing the attacking here are Adam and those that are foolish enough to be taken in by his lies about David. Adam's obsessed, I think he's gone quite mad," said Hannah.

"But what about the brain-washing? You've already lost one daughter to that. Are you willing to risk losing all of the children in our tribe? You can't deny David has done something to Lillian's mind, whose child is next? Mine? I won't let that happen," asserted Elizabeth.

Hannah sighed.

"I don't know what Lillian has been through all these years. I didn't see her, couldn't look into her eyes and determine whether she was making a free choice not to return home. For all I know, she loves David. Just because Adam says something, it doesn't automatically make it the truth. In fact, my experience is increasingly that it's the opposite. If Adam says anything about David it's most likely to be a fabrication, or something that has become twisted in his head."

"He can't have made it all up. What about the weapons? Fergus has shown them to me on the recording — even the young children carry rifles over their shoulders. Now, you can't say that's normal can you?"

"I don't know, but maybe they're well armed because they expected Adam to appear one day? He's already chased and tried to kill David once before remember?

"Anyway, look, I'd rather not talk about it anymore. I'm going to turn in for the night. Take this and don't open it until morning. Promise me Elizabeth, no opening it until morning?"

Hannah handed over a sealed note as she spoke. She held her friend's eyes while she demanded a promise that Elizabeth wouldn't look at the note until morning.

"Okay, okay. I won't look. There, satisfied?"

Elizabeth tucked the note down the side of the sofa cushion and then stood to walk with Hannah to the 'door' of the cave.

"Get some rest. Maybe that's all you need. Adam is not a bad person, I'm pretty sure of that. You're worrying so much you're beginning to sound just like me — a prophet of doom!"

"Try to do something to stop the missiles," Hannah offered by way of a reply.

Once Hannah was out of the cave, Elizabeth rushed back to the sofa and retrieved the sealed note. There was no way her curiosity would allow her to wait until morning to open it and read what was inside.

"Anyway," she thought to herself, "she seemed so disturbed she could be thinking about taking her own life. If this is a suicide note, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't open it until morning when it would be too late to do anything."

She tore the note open and read avidly.

Elizabeth, I can't bear to live with Adam any longer. I do believe that he has gone mad and nothing I can do or say will change his plans for Lillian, David and their community. There is no way I could live with a man capable of that. Already I feel sick to my stomach at the thought of what he's going to do. I couldn't look at him or bear to be near him after this.

I have a chance to leave, maybe my only chance. Although it's awful to leave behind all of those I love, I feel that's what I have to do if I'm to retain my own sanity.

Please do what you can to sabotage Adam's plans? Please try to get Thomas to arrange a malfunction or something — anything to stop this terrible atrocity. I've left a present for you to remember me by. It's hidden inside the rice jar in my pantry.

Goodbye and good luck, all my love, Hannah.

In a way Elizabeth was almost disappointed that her guess that Hannah was going to commit suicide had turned out to be wrong. Hannah had always been too happy, too full of the joy of life. Often she just grated on Elizabeth's nerves. There was a great deal of jealousy there too — Hannah had a better twin in Elizabeth's eyes. He wasn't lazy like Thomas and he was much better at sex.

"Hannah just doesn't realise how lucky she is! She's been spoiled all these years and doesn't realise it. This thing she has about Adam is another sign of that — I'm sure what he's planning is all about making the rest of us safe rather than any act of vengeance. From what Thomas says, we're in real danger but Hannah can't see that."

"So, she's planning on running away. I wonder where she's going? Who knows, maybe I could help comfort Adam once he finds out that she's gone? Now that might be interesting! I wonder what present she's left for me? Is it something nice?"

Thomas returning to the cave from his workshop put an end to her musing and she hid the note before he could see it.

Both of them pottered around with the youngest children before Thomas took to his bed, tired even after that small amount of exertion. Elizabeth returned to her thoughts as she went through the familiar routine of washing and changing the toddlers.

Her curiosity was getting the better of her again — only now it was a burning need to know exactly where Hannah was planning to run off to, and probably more importantly, who with!

By the time she had all of the babies asleep — there was always one that squalled and woke the others up so she had to start all over again — she could see Thomas was already fast asleep.

"I bet I could wait up and follow her! There's no way Hannah is going to go off into the night on her own, so somebody has to be meeting her. Ooohhh, I could maybe get to see who she's running off with. Now that would be fun. I could even get into Adam's good books by telling him. That would get me off to a good start with that little future project!"

The more she thought about it, the more she was 'talking' herself into it. There would be a lot of pleasure in seeing little miss happy slipping off into the night with some hopeless case. Oh how the mighty have fallen sprang to mind.

"I'll do it! Everything that was hers will become mine. I just know it. All these years of having to put up with her laughing and smiling all over the place — now it's going to be my turn! I want all of that and I'm going to get it too!"

She grabbed a wrap and slipped out of the cave. Hannah had said she was making Adam sleep on his own after they had fallen out over dinner. Elizabeth guessed that this had just been a ploy so that Hannah would be on her own and able to slip away much easier.