Chapter 5: Wednesday 26 September 2007

Bethesda Maryland — Wednesday Day Twenty-Six

That's very strange. It was all dark, dark as midnight on winter solstice. Except for the light I saw in the middle of a clearing in the forest. I stumbled towards the light tripping over unseen things on the forest floor. I stopped at the edge of the clearing and peered at the light. It was a fire with a large black pot on it. Around the fire were three diaphanous apparitions that looked more like vapors of ghosts than persons, dressed in flowing black dresses and pointy hats, one of them was stirring the pot. Shit, whatever they were cooking smelled bad, it smelled like ass.

One of the specters turned around and her gaze pierced my heart. It was my ex-girlfriend Jugs with a wicked looking green face. Jens probably would have thought that she looked perfect. She cackled, it sounded like echoes in a canyon. "Thrice the brinded cat hath mew'd." She turned back and threw a cat into the pot, smoke and stench erupted from the pot.

The second specter turned her gaze towards me and it filled my heart with coldness. This one was Elle, the nurse from the hospital her face was an eerie yellow. She cackled and a lightning bolt flashed from an unseen dark cloud. "Thrice and once, the hedge-pig whin'd." She turned back and threw a hedgehog into the pot, an ungodly steam filled the air.

The last specter turned her gaze towards me and it seemed to set my body and mind on fire. It was Jens, her face seemed flamed in red. Her cackle rolled through the heavens like thunder before a storm. "Harpier cries:—'tis time! 'tis time!" She turned, picked up what looked like bird with a woman's head and threw it into the caldron. Flames shot upward, splitting the night sky with unholy fire.

The three of them danced around the caldron and sang with their harmony rolling like thunder, while adding ingredients:

"Round about the caldron go;
In the poison'd entrails throw.—
Toad, that under cold stone,
Days and nights has thirty-one;
Swelter'd venom sleeping got,
Boil thou first i' the charmed pot!"

"Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and caldron bubble."

After the last chant and vile ingredient was added dense suffocating smoke enveloped the clearing. As the smoke dissipated, standing in the middle of the cauldron was a huge, nude, red she-devil. As she turned to face me, the devil took the shape of Ms. Elizabeth Morgan. Her wicked cackles boomed through the air nearly shattering my eardrums.

The three witches continued circling and singing.

"Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and caldron bubble."

She-devil Morgan saw me and instantly I was catatonic and couldn't move. Her long pointed tail snaked slowly towards me as her cackling continued. Closer the wicked tail snaked and no matter how hard I fought I couldn't get free. It reached me and started winding around me, tighter and tighter. Once I was totally constrained it picked me up pulling me towards the cauldron and the she-devil.

The three witches continued circling and singing.

"Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and caldron bubble."

The pot was red hot, seething and bubbling releasing a wicked stench that burned the inside of my nostrils. The she-devil finally had me at the cauldron suspended over it by her wicked tail. She slowly lowered me into the ungodly, unholy soup. I started thrashing and fighting to get free, my feet touched the surface of the elixir and the coldness of death crept into my body.

"Hey! What the hell's going on?" Jens yelled waking me up.

I sat bolt upright, grasped my Kimber from the nightstand and flicked on the tactical light. Jens was sitting on her ass on the floor and didn't look happy.

"What are you doing on the floor?" I asked.

"You started yelling, something about bitches and witches and thrashing around on the bed. I tried to hug you but you threw me off on the floor." She grumped.

I flipped on the nightstand light, sat down the Kimber, jumped out of bed and helped her up. "Are you okay?"

Jens rubbed her butt, "I think you bruised my pride. You need to kiss it and make it better."

I kissed my hand and spanked her on the butt.

"Hey! That's not what I meant." She complained.

I opened my mouth ready with a smart-alec answer when there was a knock on her bedroom door. We jumped in surprise. Dad yelled through the door, "Is everything okay? It sounds like you two were having a fight."

Mom was there too and yelled through the door, "It sounded more like wild passionate sex."

We both blushed. Jens walked to the door and opened it. "Ben was just having a bad dream. I tried to hug him and he went crazy and threw me out of the bed."

Dad just smiled and mom looked disappointed.

I looked at the bedside clock. "It's time to get up anyway. We've got PT to do."

Jens whined, "Shit, I thought that we were on vacation."

"No. We're temporarily stateside and we need to keep up our training. We've already missed too much training due to my injuries." I ordered.

Jens looked at me a grumbled, "I love and live to serve you. You old slave driver."

"Just for that attitude, today you get penalty PT." I quipped back at her.

"What the hell is penalty PT." She grumped again.

"It's not pretty and the longer you are grumpy the worse it gets." I threatened.

"I'm going back to bed." Jens announced and hopped into bed and pulled the covers over her.

I yanked the covers off of her and ordered, "Sergeant Donaldson ten hut."

Jens leapt out of bed.

"Yesterday you told me I was grumpy and needed to fix my attitude and you were right. Today you're the grumpy one. I've already decided that PT will be twice as long as twice as hard today. If you don't fix your attitude right now, we will do PT all day long. And if you keep acting like a spoiled little girl I will order you to spank yourself." I barked.

Evelyn laughed, "I'd love to watch that."

I turned and gave her a dirty look for interfering. She looked shocked.

"Permission to speak?" Jens asked in a contrite voice.

I turned and looked at her, "Granted."

"Sorry my love, you're right I was grumpy. We stayed up too late last night talking and then I was too excited to sleep well. Please forgive me." She looked at the floor.

"Sergeant Donaldson. Is that the proper way to stand at attention?"

She snapped her head up and looked straight ahead.

"Much better. Fall out and give me a hug."

She ran to my side and gave me a big hug and several kisses.

"I guess the show is over. I'm going back to bed." Mom announced turning and heading back to their bedroom.

"Gee Mom, I think you should workout with us. You're not getting any younger and I'd hate to see you too old to babysit your grandchildren." Jens asked.

Evelyn gave her a dirty look, "Ah what the heck, it can't be that bad."

"Well, I'm awake and if Evelyn is joining you two, I might as well to." Dad announced.

Jen leaned over and whispered to me, "We need to take it easy on him. He doesn't do PT as often as he should."

I looked at him and then shot her a wicked smile. "He's a Marine and needs to be ready at all times. He should be an example for his troops."

Dad said, "Hey what are you two whispering about?"

"Sorry sir. That's NALTS¹." I told him.

¹ (Not At Liberty To Say. Another way of saying, "If I told you, I'd have to kill you.")

He looked at me and raised an eyebrow. I could tell he didn't expect to be talked to that way by a sergeant. But then I was more than a sergeant I was his son-in-law-to-be and that came with privileges. It was time that the fat cat brass in the Marines was whipped into shape and I was going to start with the general.

"Jens, Dad and Mom. Be ready in ten minutes. Shit! I forgot. Where are we doing PT today."

Jens smiled, "Daddy has a gym in the basement. But we might have to dust down there first."

The light went on in Dad's eyes. He figured out that he was in for PT from hell today. "You know, I think that I'm going to be busy today and might not have time for PT." He tried to weasel his way out.

I looked at him and said, "I thought you were on vacation today. You wouldn't be scared of a little exercise would you?"

Jens added, "Come on daddy, it'll be so fun. We haven't worked out together in years."

He was just like me and couldn't resist a request from Jens.

"Okay. I guess I can do PT." He said in a dejected tone.

I just fixed Jens's pissy attitude and I wasn't going to put up with his attitude. "Now I know where Jens gets her grumpy attitude from. Just remember, because of Jens we're already doing a double workout. If you don't fix your attitude I'll make it a triple workout." I teased and hoped he wouldn't call my bluff.

He opened his mouth like he was going to speak, thought better about it closed his mouth and they both left the room.

Jens jumped in my arms, "Damn. I can't believe my man talked to my dad like that. You make me so hot." And she smothered me with kisses.

I peeled her off me. "Come on Hon, we need to get going. I don't want dad and mom to be ready before we are."

I grabbed my workout gear and headed into the bathroom. "Hey I needed to go in there Jens complained."

"You snooze, you lose. I'll try not to stink it up too bad." I yelled through the closed door.

"Ewww, that's gross. Jens yelled.

I wished I could follow through on my threat, but I didn't need to right now.

I stepped out five minutes later wearing one of my favorite t-shirts. It has the USMC emblem on it. Above the emblem is says, "The more you sweat in peace! Below the emblem it finishes with, "The less you will bleed in war!" And a pair of comfortable shorts.

Jens had on a gray Marine workout t-shirt and a pair of short and tight red shorts. Across the butt they said, "Marine Booty."

I laughed when I saw them. "Hey. You never wore those in Hawaii."

She wickedly smiled, "They aren't quite regulation. Besides, you're the only Marine that's getting this booty."

I picked up the phone in Jens's room and called her mobile phone.

"Damn, who's calling me at this time of the morning?" She looked at the caller ID and noticed it was her home number, looked over at me and saw me on the phone.

She smiled and sang in a childlike voice, "Hello."

"Is this Miss. Jennifer E. Donaldson?"

"Yes this is she. Is this the biggest, bravest, sexist Marine in the world? Is this Bennie R. Blaine?" Jens answered.

"In person, I replied."I'm just calling to put in a reservation for a booty call."

She grinned at me with a twinkle in her violet eyes, "I have many times open, how about now?"

"I was thinking in about ten years from now."

She faked a pout, "You know, someone told me if you snooze you lose. I don't know if I can wait that long."

"What are you afraid of, that it might be too old to work by then?"

"I was thinking more like you might be too old to work by then." She shot back.

"I can always become a trucker."

She looked quizzically at me, "I don't understand?"

"Then I could get a new Peterbuilt²." I laughed and hung up the phone.

² Peterbuilt — A brand of semi truck.

She hung up and came over and jumped on me, "Woooo Hoooo, the first call I've ever gotten from you."

All firsts with Jens required a celebration and this was no different. Several smoldering kisses later there was a knock at the door.

They opened the door and dad and mom walked in. "You two decent?" dad asked.

"Mmm, I wished they weren't." mom said.

I looked at them and couldn't believe it. He was wearing a very old set of Marine sweats that had seen better days and were too small for him. Mom had on an equally ratty set of sweats.

"We're decent but you two aren't. You look like refugees from Goodwill." Jens admonished them. "You can't work out looking like that."

I looked at Jens, "You take care of mom and I'll take care of dad."

Jens grabbed a couple things from her dresser and her and mom headed out of the room.

"You're going to die if you wear those hot sweats for this workout. Besides you need to be able to see your muscles while you work them to make sure that you're working them correctly. I don't have shorts that will fit you, but I do have a t-shirt that might stretch enough."

I dug in my travel pack and pulled out another t-shirt. "Here, try this on." On the front it said "USMC" with the Marine emblem on the back it said, "Pain is Weakness leaving the body."

He took a look at the back and grimaced. He pulled of his sweatshirt exposing his beer-belly and pulled on the t-shirt. It barely fit.

We walked out in the hallway and the girls were already done. "You look good daddy." Jens said.

Evelyn smirked, "You look like you've had a few too many beers to me."

There was nothing wrong with Evelyn and I was enjoying the sight. Jens had given her a nice pair of red shorts that weren't quite as tight or quite as small as hers. And a pink t-shirt that said, "I love my Marine," with three hearts on the front. Evelyn looked like an older version of Jens. Hot Damn. If this is what Jens will look like when she gets older we just might have ten children.

Jens smiled at me, reading my thoughts, "Thanks my love, that's the nicest thing you thought about me all day."

Then she leaned over and whispered to mom and mom blushed.

Being gentlemen we let the ladies walk in front of us to the basement gym. Besides we were both enjoying the view. Dad leaned over and whispered to me, "I don't know if it's a blessing or a curse. But all the women from Evelyn's side of the family retain their beauty until they die. You should have seen Evelyn's mom."

The ladies knew they had an audience so they were putting a little more emphasis in their walk, a little more bump in the trunk. As we reached the basement door they turned and smiled at us saying in unison, "Did you enjoy the show boys?"

I winked at dad, "What show, I don't know what you're talking about."

They looked mortified. Then Jens said, "You mouth may say that, but your body's giving you away," as she looked at my slightly tented shorts.

I turned red and mom said, "You're right he's so cute when he blushes."

"That's okay; just remember that you're teasing the person that's going to be your workout instructor today." I threatened.

Both their foreheads crinkled in concern.

"Hey, who made you the instructor today?" Jens argued.

"I did by the virtue of being the most fit one here. I'll gladly arm wrestle anyone for the position." I looked at all three of their faces and there were no challengers.

"Enough of flapping our jaws, it's time to kick butt and take names. You're in Ben's boot camp today and your asses are mine."

We walked down the stairs into a full basement that was awesome. It had a large finished family room with a pool table at one end and a wet bar in a corner. There was a large screen television hanging on wall at the other end and two very comfortable looking couches sitting in front. In another corner was a very dusty Bowflex.

I looked over at the general. "Tisk, tisk, tisk what sort of Marine let's their equipment look like this? Go get some towels and clean this up."

"Like hell I am. I'm the general." He'd finally had enough of my orders.

"Not today! Today you're on vacation and you're my father-in-law-to-be. No disrespect sir, but you listen to me. Jens and I are going to have babies and I don't want their grandparents too be so old and feeble that they can't enjoy them. You're out of shape and overweight and with the stress of your job headed towards a heart attack. Besides that you're a Marine and you should be an example to your men."

"So fine, you don't want to clean the equipment? You can run in place. Get those fucking legs moving!"

"Jens, will you please wipe down the equipment?"

I looked at Jens and mom and could see a new respect in their eyes.

"Gladly my love. I love and live to serve you." Jens joyfully said.

"I'll help her." Mom added. I think she was afraid I would make her run in place too.

Dad was slacking, "Hey get those knees up." I barked.

They came back with the towels and had the Bowflex shining in no time.

"Excellent job ladies." I was greeted with stereo Jens looking smiles.

I let dad stop running, besides he'd already worked up a heavy sweat and was beginning to stink.

I explained our workout to mom and dad. Since we hadn't worked out in awhile and it was a double workout, I decided to do a full upper body workout. With four of us using the same machine it meant there was more running in place than normal. Great for Jens and me but not so good for them.

I started setting up the machine for our first exercise. "We're going to need some old towels to wipe up our sweat and some water to drink. Anyone want to go and get it?"

Dad volunteered and ran up the stairs.

Jen and mom came over and gave me a big hug. Then Jens planted a big kiss on my lips, "Thanks my love."

Mom said, "Son, it's been priceless to see you order Glen around. I've been telling him for years to start working out."

I looked at her and asked, "How was his last physical?"

"The doctor said he was in great shape just that he needed to lose forty pounds." She replied.

"No heart issues?" I checked.

"The doctor says he's got the heart of an ox."

I gave them both a wicked smile and they shuddered. "Good."

Dad made it back, "Hey, you guys aren't running in place?"

"Of course not, we were waiting for you." I replied.

I could tell that he wanted to get grumpy about it; he took one look at me and knew better.

I went first on the exercises. I wanted to demonstrate the correct form. The workout was a combination of my normal Monday and Tuesday workouts with the appropriate modifications for the Bowflex. Jens did great, Mom tried her best with the cast on her lower arm, but I could tell that dad wasn't trying is hardest.

I pulled him over to the side while Jens and mom finished their sets.

"General Sir. I've always been proud of you until today. Yes, I'm addressing you now as my general so you can court-martial me if you want. You've had a poor attitude and have been slacking all morning. I expected better from you. If this is the sort of man that leads the Marines perhaps I should resign and join the Navy." I turned and walked away. I was serious and I wasn't going to push him anymore.

I setup and did my next exercise. Dad came over and did his first decent set of the workout.

I clapped him on the back, "That was a good set dad."

Everyone got with the routine then. We were all congratulating and praising each other, it was a much more enjoyable workout.

When we finished I looked at the three of them, "You three made me proud today. That was a hell-of-a-workout." They all beamed.

"You do that every day son?" Dad questioned.

Jens piped up, "No, normally he only does the front or the back. Even though we did both today he took it easy on us. The first time I did Ben's boot camp I was so sore I could hardly move. But my Honey gave me such a wonderful massage."

Mom gave Glen a romantic look and said, "I'd love to give you a massage but you stink."

I replied, "Those are toxins that he's sweating out. When his diet is better and he's in better shape he won't smell as bad when he sweats."

"I'd take two showers if I could get a massage." Dad answered, "In fact, I'm leaving right now for the first one."

After he left mom came over and hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. "Jens is right. You are a very special young man. Thank you so much for getting Glen to work out with us today. I don't know how I'll ever repay you."

I blushed just a little and didn't know what to say. Jens came over and rescued me with a kiss. "Mom, sometimes my big Marine doesn't know how to take a compliment. But know that what you said to him really touched his heart."

"So where are you to going now?" Mom asked.

"I'd like to go for a little run to cool down." I said.

"Maybe Glen and I could come." Mom questioned.

"Mom. You don't understand. A little run to Ben is at least ten miles." Jens added.

She looked at me and said, "Well, I don't think I'm up for that today. Why don't I go call the Secret Service agents to come and take you two for your run?" And she started up the stairs.

We both echoed, "Thanks mom."

As soon as she was out of sight Jens tackled me and straddled my body. "Damn you! From the way you dealt with Dad you've got me so damn horny. And we can't do anything about it."

I smiled at her and said, "What do you mean? Of course we can do something about it."

Hopefully she looked at me.

"We can run it out of you and then take cold showers."

She started pounding my chest, not hard enough to hurt. "Damn you! You're such a tease. One of these days I'm going to..."

Mom walked in and said, "You're going to what?"

"I'm going to make him pay for his teasing." Jens answered.

"I thought I'd tell you the Secret Service is waiting for you." Mom turned and left.

Jens looked at me, "I wanted to say that one of these days I'm going to be so horny I'm going to screw your brains out." and gave me a kiss that proved her intentions.

She jumped up and helped to pull me up. "Let's go. I've got other plans for today that just working out."

"What are those plans?" I queried.

"NALTS." Jens said and laughed.

We ran upstairs and grabbed a quick meal replacement shake for breakfast. Then walked in the living room.

The same two agents from yesterday were waiting in the living room.

"Good morning." Jens chimed.

"Good morning ma'am and sir. How are you today?"One agent replied.

"Please, call us Jens and Ben. And what are your names?" Jens asked.

"I'm Phil and my partner's Buddy."

We both held out our hands, "Pleased to meet both of you."

We walked out of the house and got into their black car.

"So where are we going?" Jens asked.

"Jens, we're taking you over to the track at the Chevy-Chase high school. It's the closest facilities that we can use." Phil replied.

"Oh goodie. I've ran there before, they have a great track." Jen gushed.

I thought, shit running on a track. That's an exercise in boredom, the only thing worse in running on a treadmill.

"Are you getting grumpy? If so you could always do penalty laps." Jens asked sensing my feelings.

"That depends on where you run." I answered.

"What the hell does that have to do with it?" She asked.

"Well it changes my point of view. Things look very different if you run beside me verses running in front of me. Especially with those shorts, when you run in front of me I Seymour Butts."

Jens started blushing and Phil and Buddy chuckled. "You two are a great couple. I wished that my wife and I still teased each other like that." Buddy said.

"Perhaps you should run in front of me so I can Seymour Butts." Jens shot back.

I looked at her and looked at my shorts, her eyes followed mine. "It won't work with these shorts. Only with yours."

Buddy and Phil started laughing. "You two are too funny."

Jens slipped her hand over and pinched me on the butt. "Ouch, quit pinching my butt."

"You know what they say? If you can pinch more than an inch..." Jens teased.

We pulled up to the school track just in time to save Jens from a tickle attack. The car barely got stopped when Jens bailed out and said, "Last one to the track is a rotten egg."

I was getting ready to bail out and Buddy leaned back and said, "Man you're lucky, you've got a great girl. Do whatever it takes to keep her." And shook my hand.

"Thanks Buddy. I'm the lucky one." I bailed out of the car and started chasing Jens. She already had a half lap lead on me.

As I watched her run, her hair blowing in the wind and sparking in the sun and that incredible body; I thought, I'm damn lucky.

She wasn't running fast so I caught up to her on the next lap and ran behind her for a bit. Yep Mr. Seymour Butts was here today.

"Are you watching my butt again?" Jens yelled back at me.

"No, I'm watching a partial eclipse of the moon." I teased and ran up beside her.

"What are you talking about now? I don't see any moon." She asked with a confused tone.

I glanced at her butt and said, "Well, if you didn't have any shorts on it'd be a full moon. But since your shorts are occluding most of your butt it's a partial eclipse of the moon."

She grinned at me," Damn. You called me horny today. All you've talked about for the last hour is my butt."

I opened my mouth, Jens interrupted. "Please not another joke about it being my best ASSet."

She ran closer to me and started sniffing. "Whew! You stink."

I lifted my arm and sniffed. "I don't smell anything."

She sniffed some more, "Well you were the last one to the track. Yep, you definitely smell like a rotten egg." And then she giggled.

"Well, if I smell so bad I'd better run behind you." I moved behind her and started singing:

"She has freckles on her butt she is nice.

And when she's in my arms it paradise.

This Marine gives her chase.

Because he loves her naval base.

She has freckles on her butt she is nice."

Jens started laughing, "Hey! I do not have freckles on my butt. But I am nice. And where did you ever learn such a goofy song."

"You don't know? I thought you knew everything about me."

"Well, I don't know where you learn all your silly songs." She said.

"I heard it once on the radio."

"You remembered it just from hearing it one time?" She asked.

"I thought you knew everything about me. That's right, for most songs I only have to hear them once or twice to remember them. I guess it's because Mama taught me how to play piano about the same time I learned to walk."

"Ah, that's why your band was so good." Jens replied.

I looked at her. "You know about my band?"

"Yep, all about it. You started it right out of high school after your Dad died. If I would have been older I'd been your biggest grouper, I mean groupie." She smiled.

I blushed. That part of my life was pretty embarrassing, I was a real asshole back then.

"Don't blush my love. It was a part of your life and it helped to make you who you are today. Besides your secret is safe with me." She grinned at me. "I don't know about you, but I think I've ran enough for today."

"Why don't you go take it easy Jens. I want to run a couple more laps." I wanted just a little time to myself. Jens figured that out and ran over to the car.

Jens mentioning the band had inadvertently brought back some really bad memories and I wanted to run them out of my head. I kicked up the speed and sprinted until I couldn't catch my breath and got a stitch in my side. I worked and chased the ghosts out of my head. I ran over to the car and Jens was talking to Phil and Buddy.

"You should have seen him when the bikers attacked him. Even with his arm in a cast he took them down." Jens was telling them.

"Then what are we doing taking care of you two." Buddy asked.

"We don't have CCWs here so we need you two. And don't listen to everything Jens says she exaggerates." I said after I caught me breath.

Phil replied, "Yeah right. We read all about that in the Washington Post. If anything she didn't tell enough."

"I hate the news. They lie about everything." I argued.

Buddy answered, "They don't lie about body counts. You single-handed took out a whole biker gang that the police had been trying to get rid of."

Jens gave him a serious look, "That's what happens when you piss-off a Marine."

"Remind me never to piss-off either one of you." Buddy laughed.

"Don't worry. I don't get pissed-off unless someone tries to kill me or insults my fiancée." I replied.

Jens smiled at me, "Thanks dear, that's sweet of you to say. I'm hungry let's go home and eat lunch."

"Sounds good to me; what are we doing this afternoon and evening?" I questioned.

She gave me an evil grin, "NALTS. But don't worry it won't hurt too much."

She started walking to the car and I balked. "Oh, come on Ben. Don't be that way. You'll see it's going to be so fun!" Jen walked back and grabbed my arm and led me to the car.

We jumped in the back and Jens slid right up against me. I scooted away. "Hey! Why'd you do that? She asked.

"Well, you said that I stank and I didn't want you to have to smell me." I teased.

"You know I was kidding." She said.

"How about now." I raised my arm up putting my armpit close to her face.