Chapter 10: Monday 29 September 2007

Travel Day - Leadville Colorado — Monday Day Thirty-one

I felt her eyes boring holes into me even before I opened my eyes. And her mind was trying to sense my feelings, trying to catch me unaware and figure out what her huge surprise was. "Good morning my love and it's not going to work so you might as well quit trying." I said, opened my eyes and turned towards her.

She grinned at me, "You can't fault me for trying. So am I going to get my huge surprise today?"

"You're huge surprise is waiting for us in Colorado. So if we finally get the hell out of here you will get your surprise."

She scooted over on the bed and gave me huge hug. "Then let's get moving. I can't wait!"

Jens jumped out of bed and I admired the view. "I never get tired of watching you! You have great ASSets"

She turned and looked over her shoulder at me, "Thanks my love! It's great to be appreciated. Are you sure my butt's not too big?"

Damn, I needed a better answer for this unanswerable question. I quickly said, "Well, you may be too big for your britches, but you butt is just right!"

She thought about that for a minute. "I'm not sure if that was a compliment or a cut?"

I just looked at her and smiled, "Ouch that hurt!"

Jens came over, "What's wrong?"

"I keep forgetting about my lips. Every time I smile it hurts."

"You're right, in fact they split open and are bleeding." Jens went to the bathroom, came back with a washcloth, and gently pressed it against my lips until the bleeding ceased. She picked up the salve and started putting it on my lips. When she finished she gently kissed me, "Now I don't need any lip balm."

"I can't wait to get to Colorado!" She enthusiastically announced. "If you ever make me wait like this for a surprise again you're going to need Preparation H for your lips because I'm going to kick your ass so hard that your butt's going to be coming out of your mouth."

I was going to grin but remembered the lips just in time. "If that happens I can't wait to French kiss you!"

She punched my arm, "That's gross and you're incorrigible." Then she huffed off to the bathroom and pretended to be mad. The door opened a minute later and she threw her pjs at me, "Here, keep yourself entertained while I shower. And don't try any pranks, I'm locking the door."

I hadn't thought about a prank until Jens mentioned it, but there had to be something that I could do that wouldn't get me in too much trouble ... I figured it out, jumped up, slipped the lock on the bathroom door, did the deed and came back to bed.

Someone knocked on the bedroom door, "Hey, it's Liz. Can I come in?"

"Come on in we're mostly decent." I replied.

She walked in and said, "I doubt that. I know both of you too well for that. Where's Jens?"

"She's in the shower."

Liz looked at what I had on the bed. "You didn't?"

"I sure did."

"This should be fun. Too bad we couldn't tape it."

We made small talk for another couple of minutes and heard the shower stop and Jens yell, "Hey, where the hell are all the towels and my undies. You-you-you, I warned you about pranks." She threw open the door and Liz and I started laughing; she blushed and quickly closed the door. "You didn't tell me we had guests."

'When did I stop being your adopted sister and become a guest?" Liz questioned.

"If you're my sister will you please bring me my towel and undies?"

"Don't give me any crap. Hand them over." Liz ordered.

I gave them to Liz and as she walked towards the bathroom, I jumped out of bed and headed towards the door. I waited just long enough to hear Jens yell, "Wait, gross, these are the undies I just took off. Where's my clean ones. I'm gonna get you for this."

I left the room and headed towards the kitchen, my dirty deed done for the day. I tried to whistle "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap" but I couldn't pucker my lips right.

Mom and Dad were in the kitchen, "You look like the cat that just swallowed the canary." Dad said.

"I bet he's been giving Jens grief again." Mom added, "Someday you're going to push her too far and she's going to kick your butt. And you'd deserve it."

I looked at her, "Don't you remember. That day has already come once and she did kick my butt. By the way, where did your cast go?"

She looked at her arm, "They took it off at the hospital while we were there with Jens."

"How's your wrist feel?"

"It's a little stiff. The doctor wants me to exercise it some." Mom answered.

"Can I take a look at it?" I asked and sat at the table beside her.

She gave me her arm and I manipulated the wrist just a little bit. "Ouch that hurts!"Mom complained.

"You need to work this wrist some or it will never be right again. Here let me help." I started massaging her wrist and gently manipulating it.

"Mmm, that feels really good." Mom said.

Jens and Liz walked in the kitchen and saw the look of bliss on Mom's face. She turned to Liz. "I can't leave him alone for a moment because he flirts with every skirt he sees."

I stopped and Mom pouted, "He wasn't flirting with me. He was showing me how to take care of my wrist. Ben, don't listen to those silly girls, please continue." I stuck my tongue out at them and continued. They both flipped me off but I ignored it.

Jens tried to gain some sympathy, "You know what he did to me this morning?"

"If it's anything like this, I'd say you were a lucky girl." Mom replied.

She stomped her foot, "He stole the towels and my undies when I was showering and then he gave me my old undies back. I don't even know what he did with the new ones. They were the only clean ones that I have left. I had to go commando."

Dad laughed. Mom grinned at her and scolded, "Young lady didn't I teach you better than that?"

I smiled and pulled the clean undies out of the pocket on my shorts, "So ... looking for these?"

Liz snatched them from my hand, "Here you go Jens." They both walked off towards the bedroom.

"Damn boy! She's going to skin you alive someday." Dad remarked.

"But not today; especially not after she sees her huge surprise," I replied.

"Oh yeah, tell us all about that." Mom asked.

"NALTS to both of you!" I said and got up to make some breakfast.

"Let me do that, you'll mess up my kitchen again." Mom ordered.

The doorbell rang so I jumped up to go get it. I opened the door and it was a news crew from CCCN. They started yelling questions and I slammed the door shut in their faces. Dad heard all the commotion and came in the living room. "What the hell was that?"

"Fucking news vultures from CCCN."

"Shit! I'm going to get those bastards. They can't be on my property." He went and made a phone call. "This should be good, let's watch out the window. We slipped the curtains back just enough to see a couple of police cars drive up and the police officers came out and started talking to the CCCN crew. When Dad was sure the cameras were off, he opened the door, "I want these people taken down to the station and booked for trespassing. They don't have permission to be on my property."

They were raising a real stink and Jens and Liz came out of the bedroom, "What's going on?"

"Dad's having a CCCN news crew arrested for trespassing." I tell them.

Liz scooted over to the door, "Make sure you confiscate any of their tapes." Then she laughed, "Tom, you should know better than this. Just for that the price for any tapes we sell to CCCN doubles."

"You can't do that!" Tom yelled back.

"Your right, double is not enough, I think triple is more like it." Liz quipped.

"Damn fucking bitch." He yelled.

I ran out of the house after him, the police restrained me. "You ever call her that again" ... I looked at the police and the crowd... " ... and CCCN will never get any tapes from us."

Then I looked at the officers, "I'd like a restraining order against CCCN and all their employees."

"Sorry Sir, we can't do that. You need to talk to the DA." The officer informed me.

Dad walked up, "Don't worry Ben, I'll talk to our lawyers." We watched them carted away. When they were gone, Dad clapped me on the back, "That was some pretty quick thinking. Good thing you didn't threaten them with violence."

Liz and Jens came out and both hugged me. Jens said, "Just when I get pissed at you, you go and do something that's gallant and right." Liz kissed my cheek and remarked, "Thanks for standing up for me ABILTB."

"ABILTB, what the hell is that? It sounds like some sort of new type of TB — tuberculosis."

Jens rolled her eyes, "Sometimes you're so dense. That's Adopted Brother-In-Law-To-Be."

"Then that makes her the PSFAGASILTB." I replied.

They looked at me funny and Liz says, "I understand the Adopted Sister-In-Law-To-Be. But what the hell is PSFAG? And the F-A-G part better not have any sexual orientation connotations!"

I walked about ten feet away, turned and announced, "Pretty Smart For A Girl!"

The both lunge at me and I dodge, "Ha missed me ... missed me ... now you gotta kiss me!"

Mom yelled, "That's enough horseplay. I don't want Jens getting hurt again today."

We all stopped, knowing better than to risk the wrath of Mom and went back inside. Jens was on one side of me and Liz on the other, "Don't think this is over Mister." Jens threatened. "You just wait until Mom isn't around." Liz added.

I wrapped my arms around their waists, "Just remember how ticklish you both are."

Mom looked back, "Don't you dare tickle them!"

"Ha ha, you're busted." Jens teased.

I whispered, "You two just wait until Mom isn't around. I'm going to tickle you until you pee your pants."

"Just remember. There are two of us and one of you and you have to sleep sometime." Liz hissed.

Breakfast was finished without any more interruptions. I offered to hand wash the dishes since we were leaving. Mom kicked me out of the kitchen and told me to go and get ready. I headed into Jens bedroom and she and Liz were sitting on the bed and talking.

I looked at Liz, "Can we talk for a little bit, in private?"

"Oh goodie, I bet this is about my huge surprise." Jens got all excited.

We walked into the living room and after making her promise, she wouldn't tell Jens I gave her all the details so that she could have a crew ready.

"I saw one of those once. Jens is going to love this." Liz beamed, "You sure take good care of her. I hope someday I can find a man like you."

We went back to the bedroom and Jens tried to get her to spill the beans. Liz looked at her and said, "NALTS!"

I laughed until it hurt my lips and quickly stopped. I guess I'm just a slow learner.

Jens pouted, "Now he has you telling me NALTS. I hate that!"

Liz hugged her, "Jens this surprise is worth it. You're a very lucky lady!"

She started squirming, "I'm really that lucky? Why is that?"

"You're just going to have to wait and see. Sometime today it will happen." Liz answered.

She pouted again, "You're just as bad as he is. I thought you were on my side."

"No, I'm on both your sides. Now quit pouting and acting like a little girl or I'll tell Ben you don't deserve such a huge and special gift." Liz scolded her.

I knew they were going to keep up this banter for a long while and decided I'd try to take a shower and hoped that I wouldn't be 'pranked'. I grabbed my whole travel pack and took it in the bathroom with me, locked the door, put the doorstop under it and wedged my pack up against the doorstop and the door.

Just as I got in the shower, Jens rattled the door. "Hey, if you've blocked this door just make sure you don't hurt yourself." I thought, yeah right, you just want to take my towels and underwear.

The shower was not enjoyable. The combination of the hot water and chlorine made my raw skin burn so I finished in record time, jumped out and changed into a polo shirt and shorts. It felt good to have my legs uncovered. I loaded up everything in my travel pack and walked out of the bathroom.

Jens ran over and kissed me on the cheek, "Damn I miss kissing you on the lips! You look nice today." She looked down at my legs, "They still look pretty sore."

"No, not at all." I replied.

She stomped her foot, "Don't you start lying to me again. I can sense your feelings. Go talk to Mom and Dad, I'll be out in a few minutes." She gave me her little girl look, "And please no more pranks this morning."

I kissed her and winced, "Your wish is my command." And I took off for the kitchen with my travel pack. I dropped the pack by the front door and headed to the kitchen.

"Good morning." Mom and Dad echoed. I sat at the table with them.

"Yes it is. But I can't wait to get to Colorado."

"I bet you're excited to see the rebuilt cabin." Dad said.

"I hope I don't offend you, but I'm more excited to give Jens her surprise."

"It's so good to see how much you love my little girl." Mom said.

Liz walked in, "I second that. I hope that someday I find a man like you." She sat at the table.

Jens came in, "Well, you can't have him he's all mine." She came over, took me by the hands, and pulled me up. "Let's go!"

"Jens, be patient." Dad told her.

"Come on all you lazy butts before I have to get upset." Jens ordered. We all grumbled as we stood. "Hey, fix your attitudes. Or I'll make the driver let you run the last mile to the airport." Jens chided.

"Someone sure is in a hurry to get going. I wonder why?" Liz teased.

We all laughed and headed out to the waiting limo. I opened my mouth to complain, "Don't start complaining about the limo or I'll make you walk." Dad ordered.

The ride was uneventful other than Jens squirming most of the time; she was making me nervous, "Simmer down Honey. In about four hours you'll get your huge surprise."

She kissed me on the cheek, "Silly boy, I'm not excited about my surprise. I'm excited about you seeing the cabin. And even more excited knowing it's our house." She cuddled up against me and it felt so good. Our house - that was sure going to be a big change; Jens would be the first woman to be in that house since ... mom died.

I was deep in thought, remembering the few — very few good times when I'd had a home. My Dad was a hard man, hard on both of us. And Nam didn't make him any easier to get along with. As always, I ended up justifying his actions as a way to make me strong and keep me alive. If not for what he'd taught me I would have died many times by now.

Jens hugged me and kissed my cheek which pulled me out of my memories. "Were here my dear. Don't worry, it will be a new house and all the old bad memories were destroyed with the old house. You, I and our children will make our own memories and they will be wonderful."

I was dazed and blinked my eyes a couple times, "Oh yeah. Let me get our bags." I hopped out of the limo and thought, soon I won't be riding in these any more. I grabbed the travel packs and headed to the jet. I noticed the jet had Evergreen on the tail and shuddered, remembering trips I had taken in these jets for three letter branches of the government. "Hey, this isn't Dad's Marine jet."

"That's right. We leased this jet because I couldn't justify this trip to the Marines." Dad answered.

"We could have flown commercial." I replied.

"That would have caused a riot." Liz answered. "Get used to it HERO."

"Shit! I hope I don't get used to this." I whined.

Jens swatted me on the butt, "Stop being so grumpy, Mr. Grumpy Pants. And enjoy this, it's going to better than the Chinooks or Blackhawks in Iraq."

Remembering a particularly bad crash, I shuddered, "Damn CrashHawks!"

We boarded the plane; a cute little red haired flight attendant met me at the door. "Welcome aboard, I'm Nancy and I'm here to make sure your flight is comfortable. Let me know if I can do anything for you, anything at all!" She winked at me.

We walked all the way to the back of the plane and I wanted to take my normal aisle seat. "Oh no you don't Mister; you're taking the window seat this time. I don't want Nancy accidentally brushing against you every time she walks by." Jens ordered.

"I thought you told me I should enjoy her-uh-I mean this." I teased.

Mom walked up, "You try enjoying her and bad things will happen to certain parts of your body. Simmer down and stop upsetting Jens, she's still sick."

I took Jens hand, "You still have some pain?"

"It's nothing and is less all the time." Jens answered.

I looked at Mom, "Please leave us alone for awhile." She left, "Jens you scold the hell out of me every time I don't tell you about how I feel and now you're doing the same thing to me. Now tell me the truth."

Jens smiled, "I did tell you the truth. The difference is I always ask you how you feel and you forget to ask me."

She was right and I felt about two inches tall. Nancy leaned across Jens and interrupted, "Excuse me Ben would you like anything before we take off? I have some Knob Creek on the plane that I bought myself just for you." She smiled.

"Thank you Nancy, two fingers neat would be nice." I answered and looked at Jens, "What would you like?"

Nancy didn't wait to hear Jens order and took off right away.

"Get used to it Jens. Now that Ben's the hero this is going to happen all the time." Liz sat across from us.

"I hope I didn't do anything to precipitate this." I added.

"Well, you didn't do anything to stop it." Jens grumped.

"J-e-n-s, you'd better get used to this and learn to cope with it. Before now, you've been the star of the show and — well Ben had sort of been an accessory. And that's the way it is for most men, they are like a fancy purse on our arm to make us look good to other women. And Ben was very good at doing that for you. Do you remember how you felt at the engagement party?" Liz said.

"Yes, I do remember and I guess you're right." Jens answered.

"You bet I'm right. Now Ben is the star of the show and will be for several months. You need to be his beautiful, loving and adoring trophy fiancée. You need to hang on his arm as if you two were Siamese twins. Every woman in America is going to be dreaming about being in your place and trying to take your place." Liz explained.

"Shit! I'm not going to be a vacuous blonde bimbo decorating his arm." Jens grumped. I opened my mouth to make a smart comment, Jens elbowed me in the ribs, "You'd better shut the fuck up."

Liz continued, "You don't need to become one, you just need to show the world your undying devotion to Ben."

I chuckled and earned a dirty look from Jens. "Ben, you need to show the world how Jens is the only woman in the whole world for you. You need to treat her like a queen and leave no doubts or openings for other women. When Nancy flirted with you, you should have ignored it and immediately introduced Jens as your fiancée." Liz scolded me.

"Yeah, you should have done that!" Jens added.

"Well, if she acted more like a trophy fiancée and less like an old ball and chain..." I never did get the sentence finished because I was seriously attacked by both of them.

"I'll show you ball and chain." Jens said whacking the hell out of me.

"You dufus." Liz was wailing on me.

I was trying to defend myself but was laughing too hard. All the racket made Mom come to the back of the plane. "What stupid thing did he say this time?" She asked.

Jens and Liz stopped but I got the first word out, "Why do you always assume it's me?"

Jens whacked me again, "Because it is always you! He called me an old ball and chain."

I heard Dad chuckle from the front of the plane, "Shut up Glen." Mom yelled.

"Yes dear!" Dad yelled sarcastically.

"Dammit, now you've corrupted Glen. It's taken me years to get him trained right. Excuse me I need to go take care of this." Mom marched up to the front of the plane.

I looked at Jens and Liz and I wasn't sure how I was going to extricate myself from this, they were both very pissed. Thankfully, Nancy showed up with my drink, "Here you go Ben, it's such an honor to serve such a hero. Is there anything at all that I can get you?"

"Thank you Nancy, this is excellent. Let me apologize to you for not taking the time to introduce you to the one woman in the whole world for me, this is my fiancée Jennifer Donaldson. And this is our good friend Ms. Elizabeth Morgan."

Nancy suddenly realized that she might be in big trouble because Jens and Liz were still pissed looking. "Pleased to meet both of you; would either of you like anything?"

Liz replied, "I'd like a cosmopolitan." "Make that two." Jens added, "Oh and do you have any really big and sharp knives?"

"Sorry miss we don't have anything like that on the plane, but I'll go and get both of your drinks." Nancy took off for the front.

Liz looked a Jens, "Planning on a bit of surgery?"

Jens laughed, "I was thinking that this rooster might need something clipped, and I don't mean his wings."

I quickly crossed my legs and Liz started laughing. "You go girl! Keep that rooster of yours in line!"

Liz changed the subject, "Why do you guys always sit in the back of the plane?"

Jens perked right up, "Ben likes to be able to see everyone and everything that's going on. It's really bad on commercial airlines because he can't carry his guns or knives."

I added, "I feel naked without at least one knife."

Jens continued, "On a commercial airline he always asks the flight attendant for a tonic water in a can and he keeps the can. Then he smashes the can flat and makes a knife out of it."

"How does he do that?" Liz questioned.

"He keeps bending it back and forth until it tears. You wouldn't believe how sharp the edge of an aluminum can is when he does this." Jens finished.

"The airlines don't know about this?" Liz wondered.

I answered, "I guess not. Either that or they don't care." I pressed the call button and Nancy ran back with the girl's drinks almost spilling them on Liz and Jens, "Yes sir, what may I get for you?"

"This isn't an emergency, but do you think next time you come back you could bring me a can of tonic water?"

"Would you like some gin to go with that? I have a bottle of Broker's Gin that I also bought just for you, I know it's your favorite." Nancy beamed.

I thought for a minute about a gin and tonic, but I don't like to mix different types of alcohol, "No thank you, just the can of tonic water."

She left again for the front of the plane and came right back with the soda. "Here you go Ben. Could I ask you a favor?"

I looked at Jens and Liz and knew I'd better answer this one right, "That depends on what the favor is?"

'Would you please sign an autograph for me?" She handed me a sheet of paper.

"Uh - I don't know how to do this. What do I say?" I asked.

Nancy grinned, "How about all my love..."

Jens interrupted, "I don't think so."

Liz suggested, "How about you sign: To Nancy the world's best flight attendant, H&K Banzai Ben."

So that's what I wrote, Nancy grabbed it and took off. I opened the tonic water, chugged it down and realized that it made my lips sting. "That hurts like hell." I started working on the empty can.

Jens laughed, "That's what you get for calling me an old ball and chain."

Liz looked me in the eyes, "You need to be careful about signing autographs. Many people want them just so they can turn around and sell them. You should always make it personal. Not only does it mean more to the person that receives it, it makes it harder for them to sell."

I was done with the can, tore it in two and handed a piece to Liz and Jens, "There's a knife for each of you."

Liz ran her thumb over the edge and cut herself, "Shit, that's sharp." She took off to find Nancy to see about a band-aid.

Jens snuggled up close to me, "Do you really think I'm a ball and chain?"

I held her close, "You are a ball to be around and have 'chainged' me into a better man. That's what I was going to say before you two attacked me."

"'Chainged', that's a pretty bogus word." Jens sighed.

"Sorry, you don't like it; it's the best I could come up with on short notice. I'm going to sleep." I slammed down the rest of my bourbon, tipped the seat back and was out of it.

I felt a big bump and Jens was shaking me awake. "Time to wake up sleepy head. We're at Denver International Airport in Colorado."

I opened my eyes and had to rub the sleepers out of them. I could not believe the incredible vision of loveliness in front of me. Jens always looked beautiful to me, but I had never seen her dolled up like this, not even at our engagement party. She was wearing a really short black dress, and her hair and makeup were perfect.

I leaned over to kiss her, "Ah-ah-ah, looky but no touchy. I don't want you mauling me and messing up my makeup. From the look on your face I guess you approve?"

"Approve hell! You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen! What's going on?"

Jens grinned, "I thought about what Liz said and figured it was time that the beauty of this outfit earned her keep. If I'm going to be your arm candy I want to be the best damn arm candy that you'll ever see. Just remember you can look but don't touch! Liz took an hour getting this makeup right and I don't want it messed up."

I was just stared at her, my mouth was open and I swear I was drooling.

Liz walked up, "Close your mouth hero, you're looking stupid again."

I did and then remembered about the surprise and I thought, it won't be long until that makeup's a mess.

Jens sensed my feelings, "Why is my makeup going to be a mess?"

I grinned, "NALTS, but you will know soon enough. Let's get moving." Jens jumped up and the view from the back was ... incredible. Her dress was so low-cut that I could almost see her undies.

I reached up and touched her back. "Mmm, that's nice." She purred. I slipped my hand lower, "Hey Mister, don't get rushin' hands and roamin' fingers the camera's watching." I blushed and Jens didn't even look, she just said, "You're so cute when you blush."

She walked up the aisle. Damn someone taught her how to walk s-e-x-y, she should get a penalty for backfield in motion, I couldn't take my eyes off her and followed her like a silly puppy following its master. She stopped at the doorway and motioned me beside her, "We're going out this door together and I'm not letting go of your arm. Take it slow on the stairs because I'm not very good in these heels yet."

We stepped outside and there was a huge crowd of people, they started yelling and screaming the minute, they saw us. Jens leaned over, "This is your fifteen minutes of fame so enjoy it. You're making us bunches of money from the news feeds." Then she kissed the heck out of my cheek and hugged me tight. We slowly walked down the steps, into a waiting limo as the driver closed the door. Jens smiled at everyone, "That was so much fun. I like being the arm candy of my handsome hero."

We took off and headed down Peña Boulevard towards I-70 and Leadville. We went a couple miles and I called to the driver, "Hey I forgot to use the bathroom on the plane. Stop at the Circle K Conoco up here on the right." I looked over and winked at Liz.

Mom, Dad and Jens started complaining about having to stop, "Well, if we don't stop then there's going to be an accident." That shut them up!

The limo pulled in the parking lot and I smiled even though it hurt my lips some. There was a small crowd in the parking lot a short distance from the building - I knew what was attracting their attention. The limo pulled up to the building and I jumped out. "Move your ass Arm Candy!" Jens looked at me funny but obeyed me; Liz hopped out behind her and took off towards the crowd.

Jens assumed her position on my arm and fought me a little when I turned and walked in the same direction as Liz. "I thought you needed the toilet?"

I smiled - damn lips, "I lied."

Her eyes got big, "You lied to me and I couldn't tell?"

"No, I lied to the driver. If I had tried lying to you, I would never have gotten away with it. So are you ready for your huge surprise."

She started jumping up and down almost falling and breaking an ankle, "It's here?"

"Stop jumping for right now and close your eyes. And keep them closed."

She did and we walked over and the crowd parted, I saw my old friend and he walked up. "Jens stand right here and don't move." I walked up to him and gave him a big hug and whispered in his ear, "Thanks it looks perfect."

He handed me the keys and stepped back. I walked over to Jens, "Hold out your hands." She held out her hands and I dropped the key ring in her hand.

"What-what-what's this? It feels like-like-like keys."

"Open your eyes my dear."

She opened her eyes and saw for the first time her new car. It was candy apple red and was gleaming in the sun. Hand lettered on the driver's door was Jumpin' Jens.