Mom, Will You Teach Me How to Kiss
by Slippery Saddle Bum
Copyright© 2026 by Slippery Saddle Bum
My name is Gary Rogers. When this story starts, I was 15 years old, 5’ 9” tall, and I weighed about 175 pounds. I lived with my slightly overweight mom, Ginger, who’d divorced my dad when I was 10. Besides being mom and son, we’re each other’s best friends. Mom was a mess for a long time after their divorce. I hated seeing her sad, so I constantly tried to be her ‘pick-me-up’. After getting divorced, she put on a few pounds, but I thought it made her look good. She finally accepted her new circumstances and focused on us and taking care of me.
She didn’t need to work because when her grandmother died, she left Mom our home and a large inheritance that my dad couldn’t touch because her grandmother had never liked or trusted him. Mom just did what had to be done around home, took care of me, and spent the rest of the time in her pretty flower garden. She had friends who’d stop over to visit, but Mom didn’t go out for coffee, lunch, or to dinner with anyone. Because that’s what I knew as normal, I never gave a thought to her near-complete lack of a social life.
I’m not lucky enough to be especially good-looking or handsome, but I’m not a dog, either. One thing that I have in my favor is that I’m pretty damned smart. I don’t let many people see that part of me because of the edge it gives me when someone underestimates me.
I’m always courteous and nice to everyone, so I don’t know why I’m in such low demand with girls. I see them gravitate to showoffs and assholes who treat them like shit and wonder if I should start doing the same thing. But since I don’t, I haven’t had many chances to do or practice anything with them.
Last night I thought I got lucky when I got to take a girl out on a date. A date is rare for me, and as it happened, this was the ONE time that I’d gotten a chance to kiss a girl. My already lousy love life was ruined the next morning when she told all of her friends that I was a lousy kisser. Bad news travels fast. I heard it several times before lunch. So did my friends. I felt like shit. Murder should be legal.
I was planning a painful execution when I got home from school that afternoon. Mom noticed my shitty mood and wanted to know what happened to cause it. How do you talk to anyone, especially your mom, about something as personal and embarrassing as being a lousy kisser? I told her that nothing happened, that I was simply in a bad mood. She let it go for about fifteen minutes and then started in on me ... reminding me that she knew me and that I never acted the way I was acting unless something had happened to make me feel bad and, because she didn’t want me to keep feeling bad, she wanted me to tell her what it was.
Finally, with my head down and my eyes on the floor, I reminded her of the movie date I’d had with Janice and told her what happened and then what she’d told her friends about me this morning and how it didn’t take long until everyone in the entire school system had been informed that Gary Rogers is a lousy kisser.
I was next to crying when I finished telling her. Mom just wrapped her arms around me and, in an angry voice, said, “I’d like to knock half of her teeth out so she could eat corn on the cob through a picket fence.”
She always knew how to say something to make me laugh. I still felt lousy, but that mental picture brought a smile to my face.
That’s when I had an idea and asked, “Mom, will you teach me how to kiss?”
Mom’s 5’6” tall, and when I asked her that question, she leaned back with a very surprised expression on her face. Looking up at me, she said, “Gary Rogers! I’m your mother. Mothers don’t kiss their sons like that, and sons don’t kiss their mothers like that, either. We’re family, and family members don’t kiss each other the way you’re asking me to teach you to do. They just don’t.”
I pressed her by asking, “Why not, Mom? You’ve taught me most everything else I know. Isn’t knowing how to kiss and be good at it just as important as everything else you’ve taught me?”
She paused a bit before answering and then said, “Yes, it is, honey, but that kind of kissing is very ... intimate. It might even be illegal between close relatives, and if anyone ever saw us do it or found out about it, it’d raise the specter of incest. You saw how fast Janice’s story of your kissing spread. That’s nothing to how fast everyone would hear about a mother and son kissing each other. They know I’m divorced, and so, in the blink of an eye, they’d be saying that the reason I never go out on dates with anyone is probably because we sleep together, too.”
“But if you won’t teach me, how will I ever learn? And, besides, we can do it right here in the house where nobody can see us doing it. After what Janice said, there’s nobody else to teach me how to do it. Please, Mom. Nobody can see us doing it, and I promise I’ll never tell anybody who taught me.”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea, Roger, but let me think about it. I know you always keep your promises, so I wouldn’t have to worry about you telling anyone. Actually, you’re right about doing it here in the house where no one can see what we’re doing. The thing is ... kissing the way you’re asking me to show you how to do triggers some very powerful physical reactions and emotions. Let me ask you a question ... When you were kissing Janice, what did you feel? Tell me the truth. How did you feel, and did you notice any reactions in your body?”
I started to squirm when I remembered that, while I was kissing Janice, I’d felt lightheaded, my body had become hot, and my cock had gotten very hard. I said, “I ... I guess I did ... some.”
“Maybe a little more than some?” she asked, knowingly.
“Yeah, I admitted... “but she didn’t know.”
“After dinner, we’ll talk again, but I want to think about it some more.”
“Please, Mom. I just want to learn how to be good at kissing a girl. I know it’ll take practice, but I’ll pay attention, and you can show me what to do and tell me what not to do until I get good at it.”
“We’ll talk after dinner, Roger. I know you’re anxious, but it’s a big step, and I don’t want us to lose each other. I need to think about this before I decide if I’m going to do it.”
I mowed the lawn, edged the driveway and sidewalk, and, when I was finished, Mom had made Asparagus, Sundried Tomato, and Chicken Spaghetti for our dinner.
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