Chapter 7

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Julie was waiting for Jake at the entrance to the lunchroom. She flashed him a bright smile, and they walked to their usual table. She was wearing a pullover top and a short denim skirt.

“How’s the most beautiful girl in middle school?” Jake asked.

Julie radiated a curious mixture of pleasure and nervousness.

“I’m fine, Jake.”

They sat next to each other. Jason and Carol sat across the table, just like the day before.

“Will you go out on a date with me?” Jake asked Julie.

“You can’t ask me that,” she squealed.

That section of the lunchroom felt silent. Most of the students stared at Julie.

“Look what you’ve done,” she said. “You embarrassed me.”

“Why can’t I ask you out? Boys go out on dates with girls every day. Did Congress pass a law?”

“You’re about to go meet my mom. For all we know, I won’t ever be able to see you again.”

“You’re right. I’m getting ahead of myself. It’s just that you’re so pretty, and I like you a lot. I’ve gotten my hopes up. But I’m being silly. We don’t even know if we’re compatible. Your parents might hate me. Or maybe I’m allergic to you. Who knows? You might be a lesbian. Are you stringing me along until you tire of your cruel joke?”

“I am so going to smack you. You know that I like boys, and I didn’t break out in hives after we kissed on Tuesday.”

“Okay, you’ve convinced me. We should go out on a date. I have a good feeling about us. I’m willing to risk you casting me aside and breaking my heart.”

“It goes both ways, Jake. You do something like that, and I’ll make you regret it.”

“Fair enough. We need to get to know each other. That means we find time to spend together, and when we’re together we need to ... uh oh.”

“What do you mean, uh oh? Uh oh, what?”

“I’ve got this big skeleton in my closet. It’s this dark secret of biblical proportions. How am I ever going to be able to open up and tell you about it?”

“You do? What is it? Tell ... You’re teasing me again, aren’t you?”

He leaned closer to her and spoke quietly.

“Julie, we all have big, scary secrets. For you, there’s you and Carol. Maybe there’s something even bigger than that. It might be a secret about your family or it may be just about you. And if you don’t have one now then it’s only a matter of time.

“I have a horrible secret. In fact, I have two.” Jake paused for a few seconds. “No, I should tell you about that one, too. Make it three. I’ll have to tell you about them if we get more serious.”

“Jake, sometimes you’re the silliest guy I know, and then you get so intense.”

Jake smiled.

“I hope you can live with that because that’s just me. I think you’ll see why when I tell you about those skeletons. I’m a little worried that you’ll figure one of them out before I’m ready to tell you. That would be a real test of our relationship.”

“Now you’ve got my curiosity going. You’re going to have to tell me soon.”

“Just as soon as I’ve laid the groundwork.” He watched her as she finished eating a slice of apple. “Would you do me a favor, beautiful?”

“Sure, what?”

“Quietly gaze into my eyes for a minute while I eavesdrop on Carol and Jason. I want to know what they’re talking about.”

“I swear, you are the biggest goofball. But, yeah, that could be kind of fun.”

As she gazed at him, he gazed back into her big, dark brown eyes. He saw that there was a flaw in his plan—her eyes kept distracting him. Finally, he focused enough to figure out that Jason was bragging about his tennis skills and was trying to talk Carol into going to his match that afternoon.

He focused on Jason’s thoughts, and he did not like what he heard.

If she‘s doing Julie, I bet she‘ll do me, too. She‘s pretty enough and her tits are great. I wonder if I can get her alone after the match.

Jake winced. He felt like kicking himself. It had been a mistake to tell Julie and Carol’s secret to Jason. He was not mature enough to handle it.

“How does Carol feel about Jason?” he asked Julie quietly.

“Comme ci, comme ça,” she said.

“That’s all? Well, let’s talk about it while I walk you home after school. We’ll need privacy.”

The bell rang, and they got up from the table and started walking to class.

“Are you ready for the social studies test?” Julie asked.

“I was born ready. I actually read one of the chapters. I don’t normally bother to read the textbook.”

“Yeah, sure. Whatever you say. I’ll make you a bet.”

“Oh? About what?”

“I bet I’ll get a better score than you on this test.”

“I wouldn’t be so confident if I were you. I got a high D on the last test. I don’t see how you can beat that. What do you want to bet?”

“If you win, you can touch my boobs.”

“Oooh, I like where this is heading. And what if I lose?”

She blushed.

“Then I get to touch your, you know, your package.”

“Thank God. For a minute I thought I’d have to let you touch my penis or my scrotum.”

She shoved him hard. He let himself pratfall into a locker with a loud bang and slide to the floor. She giggled as he picked himself up.

“I’m thinking that’s not very fair,” Jake said. “You want genitalia but you’re only willing to risk mammary glands. I want equality. Both genital and mammary fondling for the winner, either way.”

She thrust her chest out.

“You think your little man boobs compare to these beauties?”

He wanted to laugh, but he could not until the game had played out.

“I think you’re a sexist cow whose little world view can’t accept the equality of my boobies. I’d rather die first.”

“Okay, if you think so highly of so little, I accept.”

Now Jake could laugh and did. They were approaching the classroom. He put an arm around her and pulled her to him and kissed her on the cheek.

“If I had had more than a single real kiss from you — or if I had shared more than just two lunches with you — I would tell you that I love your feistiness and I might just love the rest of you, too. But since I haven’t, I think I better keep my opinions to myself.”

She gaped for a second and then melted against him, her face in his chest.

She looked up at him and her face turned serious.

“Jake, I have two skeletons.”

He peeked to see what they were while they were still in her consciousness. Neither of them involved molesting children or anything else that he couldn’t accept.

“Good girl. When you tell me your skeletons, I won’t think any less of you.”

“Promise?”

“Yes. It takes courage to open up like that. It will show me that you’re committed to our relationship. It will only make me fonder of you.”

She put her arms around him, but the clearing of a throat from behind let them know that the powers that be did not appreciate their tender moment. Jake gestured to Julie to go first through the classroom door, and he followed her in.

He gave Jan Harrison a shot of arousal. He pulled a note out of his backpack and set it in front of her as he walked past. It was a single sheet of loose-leaf paper folded in half. The outside of the note read “To Mrs. Harrison.” He knew he had her attention so he bumped up her arousal a bit more. He sat at his desk and saw that she was staring at him, so he gave her one more shot.

She picked up the note and read it. He had written it earlier during his study hall. It said simply, “Do you like women?”

She stared at him for a few moments with a neutral face. He looked back at her in kind, except that he raised one eyebrow slightly. Then he hit her with lust one more time. He read her and saw that she was getting wet but she was not so wound up that she was breathing heavily.

The bell rang, and she stood with a sheaf of blank tests. She faced the class calmly. There was no outward sign that she was having a powerful sexual experience.

“Put your things away. This is your final exam. It’s a closed-book test. It will be half your grade for this six-weeks. The other half will be the paper that is due next week. Do your own work. If you finish before the end of class, turn in your paper. You may then work quietly on other things.”

Row by row, she counted out tests and handed them to the student at the front. She sat down at her desk, pulled some papers from her briefcase, and began marking them.

Jake looked at the test. He really did try hard to pay attention during class, but the mental noise from his fellow students could make the lectures unintelligible. And he was often distracted by someone nearby thinking something interesting.

He did not worry about looking foolish if he were called upon when he was distracted. If the teacher asked him a question, he would just read the answer from the mind of one of the brighter students or even the teacher himself.

But however casual he was about the regular classroom meetings, Jake always took tests seriously. He counted on the tests to let him know how he was doing. While he had always gotten high marks, he knew that if he coasted along poaching the answers from his fellow students, he would, sooner or later, fall behind.

Because of the distractions, he was probably better suited to homeschooling, but having contact with the minds of the students and teachers was like a drug for him. Of course, in Jan Harrison’s class, it sometimes turned into a bad trip. Still, learning how people’s minds worked was important to him. He took his gifts seriously, and he worked hard to hone his skills.

He turned to the last page of the test. All around him he heard minds saying, “the Minute Men.” He did not even have to look to know what the first question was. He forced himself to concentrate and used one of his tricks to distance himself from the other minds. By working the questions out of order, the answers he heard from the other students no longer corresponded to the question he was working on. That way he would have to come up with the answer himself. It was not totally effective, but for the most part, it kept him honest.

He was about half done when he realized that Jan was standing in front of him. Could he smell the musky scent that he had smelled from her the day before? It was not strong but it brought back a pleasant memory. He looked up at her breasts. Her magnificent nipples were standing tall in her tight sweater. He dragged his eyes up to her face.

“Mr. Fielding, I have to step out for a few minutes,” she said in a soft voice. “Please, sit at my desk and proctor the exam while you finish yours.”

She was going to the faculty restroom to masturbate.

“Sure, Mrs. Harrison. No problem,” he replied.

She left the classroom. Jake took his test and sat at her desk. On the center of the desktop was a folded sheet of paper. On the front, it read “For Mr. Jacob Fielding.”

He opened the note. Jan’s handwriting was graceful. It filled most of the page.

Darling Jake,

Even your impertinence excites me. I’ve been driven to distraction since you walked into the room. I’ve gone to get some relief.

Keep an eye on Kevin Sullivan and Jeff Schleining. They like to compare answers when they think no one is looking. If you see them transgress, stand up, clear your throat, and stare at them. They will take the hint.

Jake looked over at the far corner. Sure enough, Jeff was showing his paper to Kevin. He stood and glared at them. The paper was returned to the desk and each student stared ostentatiously down at his own test. Jeff sat back down and resumed reading.

As a teenager, I experimented with girl-on-girl sex. My best friend and I were discreet but there were many nights one of us would sleep at the other’s house. We would kiss, touch each other’s breasts, and stimulate each other — manually and orally. She is still dear to me. She is married and lives on the west coast, but we keep in touch.

In college, I had a torrid affair with another woman. I loved her as much as I have ever loved any man. After three months, during which my studies suffered badly, she began to lose interest. Finally, she left me to date a professor. It’s been six years, but I still long for her. She was very special. Since then I’ve been with men, but haven’t been able to bring myself to be intimate with a woman.

Please, try to do well on this test, my darling. You are the most inattentive student I have ever had. It would give me some consolation for you to do well.

Please, be careful. I don’t need to tell you what would happen to me if this note were discovered.

Affectionately,

J.

Jake smiled to himself. He felt a surge of affection for her. She was more than just sexually-knowledgeable eye candy. This was a charming and affectionate side of her that she had not displayed before. He had not realized what a gem she was. He would try hard to do right by her.

Her account of her affairs with other women got Jake thinking. There might be something useful there for both of them.

He checked the clock. He was not sure he had enough time to respond and finish his test, too, but at the moment, replying seemed more important to Jake than his grade.

Dearest Jan,

I am humbled by the trust you show me. I didn’t know how special you are when I first approached you. I hardly merit your companionship, but I am grateful for it.

The affair in college sounds heartbreaking. I wish I knew what to say to offer you comfort.

Do you remember me telling you about Jane? I have learned something distressing. She shared a memory with me from when she was a girl. Her father was bullying her to obey him. He said she had a duty to be obedient and that she would regret it if she disobeyed. If she obeyed, she would be “safe and happy” but if not, “terrible things would happen.”

As Jane and I talked we realized that to this day she obeys her father in all things. In fact, she doesn’t seem to be able to assert herself with anyone. She follows my lead almost without exception. I fear how vulnerable she would be if someone, especially a man, were to take advantage of her.

My goal for Jane is to become strong, independent, and self-assured, but if she doesn’t learn to stand up for herself, I don’t see how that would be possible. If you have any insight or advice, I would be grateful.

With respect and affection,

Your Jake

P.S. You were right about Jeff and Kevin.

Jake folded the note and addressed it to Mrs. Harrison. He set it to the side and returned to his test. He was almost finished when Jan came back.

“Thank you, Mr. Fielding. Please, return to your desk,” she said.

Jake saw her pick up his note and read it. She paid him no more attention. As much as he wanted to listen in on her thoughts, time was tight.

He managed to finish the test just before the end of class. When he walked out, he returned her libido to normal.

Jake went to the restroom, tore Jan’s note into small pieces, and flushed it. He attended his last class and then met Julie at her locker. She looked nervous.

“Didn’t the test go well?”

“No, it was fine. It’s just that ... well, my family ... My mother is really ... I guess you could call her a character. I love her a lot, but she can be embarrassing.”

“Then why don’t we enjoy our walk to your house before the ordeal begins. Is Carol coming with us?”

“No, I asked her to give us a chance to talk alone. I wanted to prepare you for what it’s like to have tea with my mother.”

“Tea? In the parlor? With watercress finger sandwiches?”

“Stop teasing me.”

They left the school building. It was an unseasonably cool day with a strong wind and low clouds. He offered her his arm, and they walked with their heads together.

“Julie, I can see that you’re worried, but it will be okay. You’ll see. I’ll be in my element. We have something more important to talk about than your mother.”

“More important? What’s that?”

“Jason and Carol aren’t going to work out.”

“Doesn’t Jason like her?”

“It’s not that. The problem is Jason doesn’t respect her.”

“Why not?”

“He thinks she’s easy. He’s planning on getting her to put out.”

“She might. Did you see how forward she was with him in the park?”

“If she wants to offer it, that’s fine. The problem is that Jason is expecting it. That’s a bad way to start a romance. I was the one that told Jason your secret. If she ends up getting hurt, it will be my fault.”

“She’s a big girl. If she wants it, what makes you think you can stop her?”

“If that’s her decision I’ll respect it, but for the sake of my conscience, I want her to know the facts first.”

“If it doesn’t work out with Jason, she’s going to set her sights on you,” Julie said with a sigh.

“Huh? I know that you’ve driven me to distraction lately, but I could have sworn that she didn’t like me.”

“Something about the way you treated me at the park changed her mind. She’s really just hanging out with Jason because you’re taken.”

“And you’d let her put a claim on me?”

Julie blushed but did not answer. Jake could not sense any thoughts to explain what Julie was thinking, but he did feel her libido rise.

“Are you and Carol really close?”

“She’s been my best friend for years.”

“I think I see now. I’m guessing that you and she have always shared your toys.”

Her blush heightened. Jake stopped and turned to face her.

“Let me speak bluntly for a minute. This is not the time to dance around. Since I learned that you and Carol are together, I’ve known that there was a chance that the three of us might somehow become entangled, though I really expected it to take the form of two couples with you common to both. But I never intended to get between you two. Then again, I didn’t really think she would take an interest in me. I was content with that because even though I think she’s a sweet girl and pretty enough, you have swept me away, and I’m not drawn to her like I am to you.”

“If it’s time for total honesty then I need to level with you. I’ve enjoyed being with you, Jake, and I think you’re nice and cute and all that. But I’ve been close to Carol for years.”

Jake took her arm and they continued on their way.

“You and Carol are together. You and I are together. What would you think if Carol and I got together, too?

“I would be thrilled. That’s how it is between Carol and me. I would feel like I was cheating her if I withheld you. I’m not saying you have to or Carol has to, but I won’t be the one who says it can’t be.”

“And you think Carol will want a three-way?”

“Yeah. I’m pretty sure.”

“Then we need to find out if Carol and I have chemistry. That means getting together in private.”

Julie smiled.

“It just so happens that Carol’s mom and dad both work during the day. She has the house to herself until around six in the evening.”

“No brothers or sisters?”

“Or aunts, uncles, cousins, or grandparents. Just like you want, private.”

“Would you ask her if the three of us could get together? I can come over tomorrow after school.”

Julie’s smile broadened.

“I’ll talk to her tonight and let you know.”

“Ask her not to shake things up with Jason yet. We’ll need to be careful not to hurt him or make him mad. We don’t want to give him a reason to blab your secret.”

They turned onto Van Vlissingen Street and arrived at Julie’s house. It was located in an older but nicer neighborhood. The streets were lined by big trees. The house itself was stately.

Julie led Jake into the house and into a formal living room off of the front hallway. Mrs. DeRizzo was sitting in a chair reading a magazine. When they entered the room, she turned and looked him over, thoroughly and bluntly. She was maybe forty and still striking. Julie had gotten her willowy figure from her mother. She stood and Jake saw that she was nearly as tall as him.

She was also noticeably drunk. Not badly drunk but she was not particularly steady either. There was a tall glass sitting half-empty on the table beside her.

When she spoke, her speech was slow and careful as though she were trying hard to appear unaffected by the alcohol. Jake did not have any experience with reading or compelling drunken people. He hoped that would not put him at a disadvantage. In some ways, he was spoiled by his skills. The prospect of having to rely on his wits alone made him nervous.

“Well, aren’t you a well-formed young man for a wastrel and a scamp and a pillager of young women?”

The quality of her thought was not so bad. It was more lucid than some people’s when they were sober. Jake sensed playfulness, alongside a ruthless determination to find out if he posed a danger to her daughter.

“I’m glad this is going to be a frank discussion,” Jake said. “It’s boring when you can’t say what you think just because of stupid social conventions. May I have the first question?”

Mrs. DeRizzo waved her hand at him, condescendingly.

“Will you be able to recall this conversation tomorrow? I’d like to know how careful I have to be about what I say.”

Julie gasped.

“Julie, dear, please, go to the kitchen and bring out the tea things.”

“Not a chance, Mother. I’m not going to miss a word of this.”

“Very well. I’ll be back with the tray in a moment.”

They heard her footsteps as she walked down the hall to the back of the house.

“Jake,” Julie hissed, “what do you think you’re doing?”

He laughed and took her hands and gave her a chaste kiss on the mouth.

“Jake,” she squeaked, “she’ll see us!”

“I understand why you’re so nervous, but I don’t think you need to be. Would it do any good if I ask you to trust me? If you relax you might even enjoy the conversation. I know that I intend to.”

She sat in a chair, a bit sulkily. She crossed her arms and glared up at him.

“You better know what you’re doing, mister.”

Mrs. DeRizzo’s steps came down the hallway. She entered the room none too steadily, carrying the tea tray. She looked back and forth between them.

“The honeymoon’s over already?”

“I think it’s mostly just nerves, Mrs. DeRizzo. That and a perhaps justifiable fear that I’m going to exercise my sense of humor more than my common sense.”

Mrs. DeRizzo harrumphed and set the tray down. The silverware and cups clanked. Jake smiled when he saw that there really were finger sandwiches. She did not invite him to sit or offer him a cup of tea.

“And for your information, I will remember every word, young man. I also give bonus points for brutal honesty. You have already earned some.

Jake smiled over at Julie who was fidgeting nervously.

“Thank you, ma’am. I see where Julie’s fire comes from.”

She ignored the tea tray. Instead she took a generous drink from her glass.

“Don’t think that you can coast through on flattery. Tell me about yourself.”

Jake didn’t know how to answer such a general question, so he launched into the first thing that came to mind.

“I’m five foot nine so I’m taller than most everybody in my class. They say I can expect another growth spurt. I never met my father but I’m told that he was tall.”

“Yes, your father. I remember when all of that happened. It was a big scandal. Hard on your grandfather. I’m sure you appreciate how it looked.”

Jake could tell that she did not really care about the scandal. She wanted to dig at him and see how he responded.

“You should know two things, Mrs. DeRizzo. The first is about me. I am loyal to the people who are important to me, and my mother is very important to me. And there are some things worth fighting for. Second, I’ve never met a person purer in heart than my mother. And that’s not just a son’s love talking. Is there anything about that incident that you’d like to know?”

“No. There is nothing about it that will tell me about what I really want to know which is the character of the very young man who has attracted the attention of my very young daughter.”

“I’d like to reassure you, but I don’t see how I can. You can, and maybe you should, dismiss anything I say in my own favor as self-serving invention.”

“You are correct about that. Tell me about your grades.”

“Mostly A’s.”

“And in which classes are your grades less than A’s?”

“Art and woodshop. I’ve about decided that I should avoid any career that depends on manual dexterity. Piano lessons didn’t go very well for me either.”

“Do you have career aspirations?”

“Yes, ma’am. Diplomacy.”

“That’s unusual.”

“It’s where my talents lie.”

“And do you have any character deficiencies?”

“I think pretty highly of my own sense of right and wrong. I’m not much for just submitting to those in authority. I’d like to think I’m not unreasonable. I just prefer they give me a convincing argument rather than expect me to do what they say because they say it.”

“Why do you talk like a professor of English literature?”

“I get that a lot, though it surprises me. Maybe it’s just that I pick my words carefully. Sometimes gag me with a spoon doesn’t manage to convey the exact shade of meaning I’m trying to express. Besides, it only makes sense to speak to adults in an adult manner.”

“Do you expect to have physical contact with my daughter.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“And what kinds of physical contact do you intend?”

“Why, all kinds, Mrs. DeRizzo, in due course.”

“Would Julie be safe with you alone?”

“Very safe, but I don’t think I mean that in the same way that you do.”

“How do you mean it?”

“I mean that I will never intentionally hurt her or act recklessly with her affections or allow her to find herself in circumstances in which she might be hurt, emotionally or physically.”

“But you don’t promise to keep your hands off her?”

“No, my intention is quite the opposite.”

Julie shifted uncomfortably.

“No, daughter, let him talk. He’s amassing points for brutal honesty. So, young man, damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead?”

Jake heard Julie shift in her chair. He felt her fear. Tears were not far off. He knelt beside her chair and whispered into her ear.

“Please, trust me, Julie. She’s just pricking me to see how I respond. This might come as a surprise to you but she isn’t really concerned that we might have sex.” He smiled at her. “Honest, the interrogation is going rather well. I’m actually enjoying it and I think your mother is, too.”

“I’ll try to trust you, Jake. I suppose that the horse is already out of the barn on the subject of sex. I just wish this were over.”

Jake stood and faced Julie’s mother.

“I believe that sex is like a knife,” he said. “It’s a tool. It can be used to do good or do harm. If used wisely, it strengthens relationships. If used selfishly or maliciously or carelessly, it can hurt people.

“Only time will tell if Julie and I will have sex, or if we do, when that might happen. If I were convinced that we had already reached that point, I would ask Julie to have sex with me today. It happens that I think it’s premature at the moment, but then again, I can’t promise you that that day is still years away either.”

“You’re very honest. Let’s hope your points for brutal honesty are not offset by demerits for questionable judgment.”

“Please, let me explain one thing about myself, Mrs. DeRizzo. I never lie. There are times when the truth isn’t helpful and I may choose not to volunteer it. There may even be times that I happen to speak carelessly, but I never intentionally lie.”

“Why do you want to have a relationship with my daughter?”

“You mean beyond the whole most-gorgeous-girl-in-school thing?”

“Yes, aside from her physical attractiveness.”

“You want me to tell you in front of her? Our relationship is new and fragile. Complete frankness may be too intense for her. I don’t know if we are strong enough for that yet.”

“I think I can say from experience that if there is anything that a relationship can withstand, it’s being frank about why one person has regard from the other.”

“You might be right about that. I guess I’m scared that Julie will freak out when she realizes how completely besotted with her that I am.”

Jake was relieved when he sensed pleasure from Julie.

“She is the most alive person I’ve ever met,” he said. “She’s open and accepting of people. She is eager to know them. She engages them without fear. She’s loyal to her friends. She’s willing to risk her own happiness to tell the truth. She’s smart and witty. She is spirited and eager to embrace the world around her.

“I won’t make any declarations of my feelings. You would see it as cheap and too easily said. I’d rather have you understand my respect for her. I’ve admired several adults in my life, but I have never admired a young person before like I admire her. She fascinates me.”

“Sit, boy,” she said, indicating the chair next to her. “How do you drink your tea?”