Chapter 6

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Jake and his mother both took a piece of pizza from the box. Jake listened to the patter of her thoughts. She wished she had been able to finish the report that she had been working on at the office. She remembered her kiss with Jake, snuggling, and then leaving him asleep on the couch. She recalled lying alone in bed, desiring to be with him but worried that Jake would find the idea of snuggling with his mother repulsive. She had a flash of insight into how population migration trends would favor large farming corporations in the South. She remembered the way it felt when Jake kissed her.

Jake was pleased that the kiss had been a hit. It had touched a deep need that even now she barely realized that she had. She was like a starving man who had been given a cracker to eat. It only inflamed her need further. Jake would have to be careful that she did not find herself in a position where she might lose control.

He reached across the table, put his hand on hers, and smiled at her. She looked back with her high-wattage smile. He basked in the happiness he felt from her and in the sheer, visceral pleasure of seeing that beautiful face.

“Do you remember kissing me last night?” he asked.

She radiated contentment.

“Yes, I’ve hardly thought about anything else all day.”

“I really enjoyed it, too. I did it for a reason. I mean besides the fact that I enjoy kissing you. I want to help you to be more comfortable around men.”

Embarrassment.

“You really don’t have to worry about that, Jake. It’s not like I’m seeing anyone, except for you, of course.”

“I think you will someday, and that day may not be that far off either. But until then would you promise me something?”

“What’s that?”

“Promise not to see any man without having me along. Not forever. Just for a little while. Until I think you’re ready.”

“Jake, you’re the only person I’m spending time with. Since I don’t plan on being with anyone else, I don’t have a problem making that promise.”

“I’m going to hold you to it. I think you’re going to be surprised by how soon it is that you’re ready for dating.”

“Until this wondrous change happens, I’m just going to enjoy the company of my son.”

“I was thinking about that kiss. I thought it was great. Being close to you afterward was even better.”

“It was really nice for me, too. I’ve never been comfortable around people. Yesterday I felt closer to you than anyone else.”

“The same with me. I didn’t realize how emotionally charged a kiss could be. Do you think I could kiss you again?”

Her emotions burst forth. The arousal and happiness were the same as the night before, as was the undercurrent of concern about whether it was appropriate. There was gratitude, too. That was new. If there was shame, it was too slight for him to pick out among all the other emotions.

“Of course, you can, my little man.”

He pulled her to her feet and led her to the living room. He took hold of her arms and pulled her just close enough to feel her body pressing lightly against his. He kissed her on the lips like he had the night before.

She was quickly lost in the sensations — the feel of his lips on hers, and the new and very powerful sensation of his lean body against her. She put her arms around his neck and pulled him tighter. When she felt his erection pushing against her groin, she jerked back in surprise, but scruple was quickly overwhelmed by her arousal, and she pressed against him again.

Even as he eavesdropped on her, he was caught up himself in the feel of her body. He felt her soft breasts against his chest and the delightful pressure of her hips against his. He put his arms around her with his hands on her shoulder blades and then slid them down to her waist. He stopped himself from touching her ass. He brought his hands up along her sides, feeling the swell of her breasts against his wrists and then returned his hands to her back.

Her excitement had been on a steady climb. He felt it surge even more. She whimpered softly, though she did not realize it. Her arousal was heading toward orgasmic levels even without any manipulation of her libido.

Jake touched her lips with his tongue. It had been powerful when Jan had done that to him. Sure enough, it made his mother’s lips tingle, compounding her excitement. When Jake slid his tongue along her upper lip, she exploded in orgasm. She cried out and clutched at Jake, her body shaking against him.

He held her tightly against his chest until it subsided. Then he let her collapse onto the couch. She curled into a fetal position and trembled.

“Jake, what happened to me?”

“You’ve never felt that before?”

“No, never.”

“It felt good, didn’t it?”

“Well, actually, yes. Strange, but wonderful.”

“Let me sit down so we can talk.”

She slid over and he sat next to her. He pulled her up against him with her head on his chest and her breasts pressing against his side. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

“I guess congratulations are in order, Mom.”

“For what?”

“On the occasion of your first orgasm.”

Guilt. She stiffened and started to pull away, but he held her tightly against his body.

“Mom, be calm. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Oh, Jake, I’m a terrible mother. I’m so sorry. Have I hurt you?”

“I’m okay, I promise. Let’s talk this out. You’ll feel better.”

He rubbed his hand up and down her arm. Her muscles relaxed a little. The implanted memory seemed to be strengthening her trust in him. The physical sensation of his hand running along her arm affected her even more strongly. He kissed her forehead. She finally relaxed.

“I think you’ll feel better when we’ve gotten some things out in the open. Mom, look at me.”

She lifted her head up and looked him in his eyes. He kissed her lips, slowly and gently.

“First, I want you to know that I’ll try to never hurt you, and I won’t let anyone else hurt you either, not even yourself. Kissing you isn’t wrong. I did it because I love you and because I think it’s actually good for you. The fact that I enjoy kissing you and that it makes me love you even more is just a happy bonus.” He smiled at her. “Do you realize that you’re not like other women?”

“Because of those three days?”

“No, actually I’m getting at something else. I’m talking about your innocence. I think the word that describes you is naiveté. You are completely ignorant about sex.”

“I don’t know if I can talk to you about this. The topic makes me very nervous. When I showed any interest in boys when I was growing up, my dad would get angry at me. It’s always been easier to just avoid the topic entirely.”

Jake was startled, but he tried to keep his face smooth. Granddad had that much control over her growing up? Yes, his Granddad had pushed her hard about the whole notion of purity, but something else was going on. He had spent plenty of time reading the girls at school. He knew that their parents were unable to stop them from exploring their interest in sex. So, how had his mother come to be so cowed?

“Mom, when was the last time Granddad made you do something?”

Jake watched her mind range back to a year earlier, just before Jake and she had moved out of his grandparent’s house.

“He told me to rent this apartment. There was this cute little house nearer to work but it was miles from their place. He didn’t want us to live that far away.”

“So, you told him that you were an adult and you were earning your own money and you would damned well move into the place that you wanted.”

Jake felt her fear, almost a paralysis. He saw a memory of Granddad as a much younger man towering over her, looking down in anger. She must have been a little girl.

“Listen to me, Ellen Fielding,” Granddad barked. “You’re not going to stand here in my house and defy me. You will do as I say, or I will make you wish you had.” He paused, his voice becoming quieter but if anything even more intense. “It is your duty to obey me. Obey me and everything will be good. You will be safe and happy. If you disobey me then terrible things will happen.”

The memory ended and Jake stared at his mother dumbfounded.

“No, Jake,” she said. “I don’t talk to my father like that. I couldn’t”

Something did not add up. Her memory had been accompanied by a sequence of emotions that darted through her mind as fast as lightning, almost too fast for Jake to catch. There had been a brief flash of frustration, followed by confusion and tension. And then strangely, it became surrender. The tension had drained away and a kind of peace remained.

“So, you told him about the house you wanted, and he said that he wanted you to move into this apartment instead. Then what?”

“I said, ‘If that’s what you want, Daddy.’”

He considered the memory again. Obey me. You will be safe and happy. Disobey me. Terrible things will happen.

Was it that easy to break the will of a little girl? Had it only taken a few words spoken in anger by her father? His eyes began to burn with tears. He turned away from her. He hated that he cried as easily as he did, especially now when he needed to be in control.

“Jake, what’s wrong?” his mother asked.

He tried to pull himself together, but he could not. Had he just seen his mother’s spirit being snuffed out? It was like seeing a kitten hit by a car. Damn the telepathy. He did not want to see things like that.

“Mom, it’s so sad,” he said, his voice catching. “You’re an adult, but you let Granddaddy tell you what to do. He really had no right to make you do that. And you were perfectly willing to let him.”

“That’s how it’s always been with us.”

“You know that the day will come when I won’t let you make my decisions for me.”

“I don’t make your decisions now. It’s been forever since I’ve had to discipline you.”

He wanted to rail against his grandfather but he couldn’t. Jake knew him. Granddad was not really a bad guy. Jake was sure he meant well.

The problem was not Granddad. It was her. She was so malleable. Jake had not taken notice of it before, but for the last year, she had almost always yielded to him. Apparently, she had been that way with her father most all of her life.

What about other people. Would she do what they told her, too? If so, what would happen when some random, unscrupulous guy figured that out? Jake could not bear to think about it.

“Mom, give me a couple of minutes. I’m going to take a shower. I’ll be back in a bit.”

He did not actually want to shower, though he had to admit to himself that he was none too fresh at the moment. What he really wanted was a chance to think things out, to come to terms with this newest revelation.

It was like that memory he had removed from his mother the day before. It had shaped her somehow. The same with this memory. His grandfather had somehow programmed her. The thought of disobeying him threw her into turmoil.

Jake had to reprogram her so that she would no longer blindly obey Granddad, or other people either. The problem was that it wasn’t a simple thing to do. There would almost certainly be side effects. Whatever he did, he was going to have to be careful.

At least, he did not have to act immediately. He could afford to take his time and do it right, provided he kept her safe in the interim.

After his shower, he put on a loose pair of shorts and a t-shirt and rejoined his mother. She looked concerned. She patted the sofa next to her.

“Sit, Jake, and tell me why you were upset.”

“It’s no big deal. I cry too easily. I just wish I wasn’t so damned sensitive.”

“Jake, I like how you’re sensitive, but that was something more. You were really upset.”

“Yes, you’re right. I was upset but I’m not ready to say why. At least not tonight. I promise I will soon.”

“Jake...”

“Please, Mom, not right now. I was saying before that you are completely innocent.”

“Not too innocent. I am a mother after all.”

Jake rolled his eyes.

“Mom, you are the most completely innocent person I’ve ever met. I presume that you know how babies are made, but that is where your knowledge stops.”

“What else is there to know?”

“I could probably talk for an hour and not repeat myself. And I’m just learning these things. It is a very complicated subject. I go to school with girls who knew more than you when they were in third grade.”

“Surely you exaggerate.”

“If anything, I’m minimizing it. The instinct for sex is so strong that for some people that it’s the most important thing in their lives.” He laid his hand on her arm. “But I guess I’m not surprised that this is news to you. Look at one piece of evidence.”

“What’s that?”

“Last night and tonight we shared the most basic sexual act, a simple, chaste kiss. Look how strongly it affected you.”

“It was so powerful.”

“Actually, for most people kissing on the lips like that is hardly anything. And that brings up the second point that you need to know. I’m not sure how to say this tactfully, so I’m going to just say it outright. When God made you, he made a sexual dynamo.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“It’s like you were designed and built to have sex.”

“But that’s ridiculous. I’ve never wanted to have sex.”

“You just haven’t realized it because of something that happened in your childhood, something that makes you shy away from thinking about it.”

“Jake, how do you know what happened to me during my childhood?”

Damn, he was being sloppy. How could he explain it? It was time for a little, white lie.

“You don’t think I talk to your parents?” He pushed ahead before she had time to think that through. “Let me ask you a question. Last night, you went to bed, what did you think about?”

“Don’t ask me that, Jake. It’s too embarrassing.”

“Mom, we’ve got to be able to talk to each other. But you don’t have to tell me. I think I already know. You were thinking about me, weren’t you? About how nice it would have been to snuggle with me, to just lie close and hold me. Have I got that right?”

Jake could feel her beginning to get upset.

“Yes, that’s how I felt. I wanted you with me, but I felt bad, too, because I couldn’t imagine you wanting to be with your old mother.”

“You were feeling the same thing I was. I loved being there with you, just being close. Your body doesn’t care that I’m your son. It wants a man to lie next to. Your concern about me being your son comes from society’s notion that too much closeness between children and parents is a form of sexual abuse.”

“Well, isn’t it?”

“It can be. Maybe it usually is. It depends. Not all close contact between children and parents is wrong. There are things you have to take into account. I think that you and I may be a special case. But we’re getting off track. It’s an important topic, but I want to get back to my point.

“Here’s what I’ve been leading up to. You’re highly-sexed. You need physical contact, and, yet, here you are, all closed off from people and kept from learning how to be sexual. I worry that you’re like a steam engine. If too much pressure builds up, there is going to be an explosion and people are going to get hurt, especially you.”

“How do you mean?”

“Think about how strongly you reacted to just kissing me. Sex is powerful stuff. What if someone does something more sexual with you than that? Do you think you could control yourself?”

“I always have.”

“No, you haven’t. You’ve never had a chance to find out what you would do. Think about what would have happened if I hadn’t stopped kissing you. Would you have been able to stop me from going further?”

Jake watched the realization grow in her.

“I would have been helpless.”

“That’s what I think, too.”

“If that’s true, what can I do?”

“If you are willing, all you have to do is trust me and enjoy the ride. I want to teach you how to recognize your urges. Well, that and how to bleed off sexual tension so that there isn’t an explosion so huge that it causes the end of life as we know it on this planet.”

She slapped his arm, smiling. “Stop it. Is it okay for you to do this? I am your mother.”