Chapter 16

Monday, May 31, 2010

Inside the restaurant, Jake asked to be seated separately from his mother but still nearby. He ended up sitting about five feet from Ellen. Fortunately, there weren’t many customers, and Jake would be able to clearly hear the thoughts from his mother’s table. He sat with his back to Ellen so that Jerry Amos would not recognize him.

If you’re going to distrust me, then you will, Jake sent to Julie, letting some of his frustration radiate to her. I don’t know how I can explain it any clearer than I have. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to connect you to my mom. I’d appreciate another set of eyes and ears.

Jerry Amos arrived at the agreed time. He was tall, handsome, and dressed in a good-looking suit. He projected an air of confidence. Jake saw that it was no act. He was used to getting his way.

Amos recognized Ellen and joined her at her table.

“Do you know who that is?” Julie whispered to Jake. “That’s Jerry Amos, the attorney. The one with all the commercials bragging about helping people in car accidents.”

Well, I’m glad it’s my chance to finally meet you. From the moment I first saw you, I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind.

I’m surprised you were paying me any attention at all, Mr. Amos. I noticed you were with a woman that evening. Why would you notice me?

Her? Oh, she’s my paralegal. It was a working dinner. She went back to the office, but I had to talk to you.

“The liar!” Jake hissed. “It was his wife, and he had her wait in the car while he went back to talk to my mom.”

You sent her back to work on a Saturday night?

We were getting ready for a trial that started today. Sometimes that’s just how it works at a law office.

Jake felt some of his mother’s suspicions about Jerry Amos ease. Amos sensed that he was making headway. He started talking about his law practice, the problems his clients faced, and how hard he worked to get them good results. Ellen listened without saying much.

Ellen, I have an idea. Let’s go get a drink. I know a nice place with quiet music where we could dance a little and talk some more.

No, thank you, Mr. Amos. I barely know you. I wouldn’t feel comfortable going drinking with you.

I’m harmless, Ellen. It’ll be fun. Let me pay the bill...

Jake sensed his mother’s growing fear and sense of helplessness.

Please, I have a teenage son. I can’t just go off and leave him alone.

Oh, we won’t be that long. Besides a teenager is old enough to watch out for himself.

Amos left money on the table to cover the bill and stood. He grabbed Ellen’s hand and pulled her to her feet and toward the door.

Please, Mr. Amos, I can’t.

But despite her protestations, Amos succeeded in setting her in motion. Ellen looked around in panic but allowed herself to be led.

“Whatever you do,” Jake said to Julie, “don’t let her out that door. Follow me.”

Jake sprang from the table and intercepted Ellen and Amos just as they reached the cash register.

“Hey, Mom. Who’s this here? Would you introduce us?”

Amos flashed Jake a look of hot anger before he managed to get it under control.

“Jake, this is Jerry Amos.”

“You’re the guy who hit on Mom at the restaurant. Why don’t we have a seat and visit for a while.”

“Actually, your mother and I were just leaving.”

“It won’t take long, Mr. Amos.” Jake turned to Julie. “Would you show Mom back to her seat?” He turned back to Amos. “I feel better if I can get to know someone before my mom goes out with him.”

Jake followed Julie and Ellen back to Ellen’s table. He nodded his head to them to indicate that they should sit on the same side. Jake sent Ellen calmness and affection. She smiled up at him as it took effect.

“Come on, Mr. Amos. I’ve never met a celebrity before. Have a seat.”

Reluctantly, Amos sat in the booth opposite Julie and Ellen. Jake slid into the booth next to him.

“So what are your plans with my mother?”

“We are just going to get a drink.”

“Were you going to meet your wife there?”

“No. I’m not married.”

“Maybe you’re better known in this town than you give yourself credit for. Lots of folks know about you and your wife. You know, Mattie? How long have you been married?”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t you remember getting married?” Jake pulled the appropriate facts from Amos’s mind. “Holy Family Catholic Church? September 9, 2004? But I guess it’s too much to expect you to remember every little thing that happened to you almost six years ago. I wouldn’t want you to be embarrassed about a little slip of the memory. It could happen to anyone. But seriously, why are you here instead of at home with Mattie?”

“I’ve had enough of this. Get out of my way.”

“Soon. There are some things I want to know first. Is the problem that Mattie is five-months pregnant, and you think she’s starting to look like a cow? I guess I can see why the prospect of romance with my mom would lure you away from the warmth of hearth and home.”

Amos tried to force his way out of the booth. Jake elevated his fear almost to panic levels. Amos drew back into the corner of the booth and began to shake.

“After plying my mother with alcohol, what was your plan then?”

“No plan. Just a drink and maybe a little dancing.”

“Mr. Amos, take the small bottle out of your right jacket pocket and put it on the table.”

“There’s nothing...”

Jake pushed the fear even higher.

“If you want that feeling to go away, show us the bottle.”

“No. There’s nothing there.”

Jake projected dread and implanted the thought that something terrible would happen if Amos kept the bottle hidden. Amos reached into his pocket but then forced himself to sit still.

“I’m prepared to sit here for as long as it takes,” Jake said. “If you want those feelings to go away, you’re going to have to do as I say.”

Amos’ jerked a prescription bottle from his pocket and slammed it down on the table. Jake lowered the fear and dread but not by much.

“Now tell us what’s in the bottle, Mr. Amos,” Jake said coldly.

“It’s a prescription antihistamine. For allergies.”

“It is not, sir.” Jake began to ramp up his sense of guilt. “Why don’t you tell us the truth?”

Jake raised the guilt to an extreme level. Amos cracked.

“I’m so sorry. I know I shouldn’t have. They’re roofies.”

“That’s the date-rape drug, isn’t it?”

“Yes, I’m sorry.”

Jake took the bottle and looked inside. He was surprised to find not pills but little bags, each one filled with powder.

“And you planned to use it on my mother?”

“Only if she resisted me.”

“And how should I, her concerned son, feel about this?”

“You’re probably angry. I would be if someone tried to do that to my mother.”

“How many other women have you used this drug on?”

“Four others. It usually isn’t necessary. I feel so bad. I wish I could make it up to Ellen.”

“I think you can take it as a given that you are going to make it up to her, and to me. In fact, you should accept the fact that I own you now. I own what you own. You are at my mercy. If I want you to walk down the street naked, you will. If I want you to give me your first-born child, you will.”

Jake pushed the guilt higher.

“I feel so bad about what I’ve done that you can’t make me feel any worse.”

“I can understand why you might think that, but that is not actually the case. In a minute, I’m going to get up from this seat and let you out. You won’t be taking that bottle with you.

“That fear and guilt that you feel? The fear is pretty sensible given your new circumstances. You don’t yet know if I’m going to turn you into the police, come up behind you in an alley with a baseball bat, or maybe do something to Mattie. That’s probably why you feel the fear and dread.

“I suspect that guilt is a new sensation for you. That’s what normal people feel when they contemplate doing something like what you were planning. You need some time to get accustomed to it.

“I’m going to come and visit you in a couple of days. When I do, I may give you some relief from those emotions. That is if you make me want to. Now go, please. I can almost smell the corruption in you, and it’s making me sick.”

Jake stood and Amos bolted for the front door. When he was gone, Jake sat back down.

“Mom, I’m sorry. I didn’t know he would come on so strong. I thought we would have more time to manage things.”

“Thank you for making me feel better, Jake.”

“Why did he admit to all that stuff?” Julie asked.

“I gave him overwhelming fear and guilt.”

“Did you mean what you said about owning him?”

“Oh, yes. In two days, he’s going to be begging me to take everything he has if I will just make the anguish go away.”

“Jake, you are so gentle,” Julie said. “It’s not like you to hurt someone.”

“You only think that because there hasn’t been any reason for you to see the other side of me. I don’t feel the slightest bit sorry for what I’m doing to him. You can think me cruel if you want, but that won’t stop me. I’ll do the same thing every time someone tries to hurt someone I love. Don’t expect me to be gentle or civilized about this. I own him now. It will be that way for the rest of his life.”

Jake retrieved his bill and they went to the counter to pay.

“Mom, I need to drop in on Rod Finch,” Jake said once they were back in the car. “Would you let me out there and wait for me at the DeRizzo’s? It should only take me a few minutes to take care of my business.”

“That’s fine, Jake. That will give me a chance to meet Julie’s parents.”

“That’s maybe not so important anymore. Before Jerry Amos showed up, Julie was just telling me how I am using you for sex. I believe I was just about to be given my walking papers.”

“Jake, that’s not fair,” Julie said. “You can read my mind. You know that I’m not thinking that now.”

“You’re right that I can read your mind, but that doesn’t mean that I make your decisions for you. The last thing you said to me was that I was helping my mother so that I would have an excuse to have sex with her. Unless you have something different to say now, that’s where things stand, with me being surprised that you would think that of me. When have I ever taken advantage of someone I love? What you said about me is monstrous.”

Julie began to cry.

“I’m sorry. I let my jealousy get the better of me. I didn’t realize what you were saying about Ellen. When that jerk had her on the way out the door in less than five minutes, I saw that you were right, that she really is in danger.”

“But you think I’m the kind of person who would take advantage of her, that I’m not any better than Jerry Amos. I don’t know what to do with us. I thought that we had something special. I showed you what was in my heart. I thought I had earned your respect. And now I learn that you don’t respect me or trust me after all. I mean, I can read your mind. How can I have been so wrong about you? About us?”

Now Julie was crying in earnest.

“But I do trust you. And I respect you. Why do you question that?”

“Because you said so.”

“No, Jake. I never did.”

Ellen pulled the car into a vacant parking lot.

“Jake, show me how you feel,” she said.

Jake sent her his feelings of sadness and resentfulness.

“And what did she do to provoke that in you?”

Jake was not sure what to do. He did not want to just come out and say to his mother that she could not handle her own life. He went over his conversation with Julie and finally decided the last few exchanges just before they got to the coffee shop would show the dispute without saying too much. He replayed them for Ellen

“And that’s what got your dander up?”

“Yes, that’s what started this.”

“Julie, darling, it’ll be okay,” Ellen said. “I don’t know if it’s because he’s thirteen or because he’s a man. I suspect it’s his gender.”

“Mom, what are you saying? I showed you what she said.”

“You worry that I know nothing about men, and I suppose you’re right. But you don’t know as much about women as you seem to think. You are focused on the words and are ignoring her intent. You need to stop and think about why she said those things to you.”

“She said them to tell me she doesn’t approve of my relationship with you.”

“Jake, she will eventually decide whether she approves or not. You don’t know which it will be. I suspect she doesn’t either. Your problem is that you think you understand why she said that when you don’t. She wanted to know how you felt. She was probing what was in your mind and in your heart. How else can she get to know the real you if she doesn’t press you occasionally? She’s not a mind reader. She has to figure things out the old-fashioned way. It makes perfect sense to me.”

“I’m glad it makes sense to you, but it doesn’t make any sense to me. Why didn’t she just ask me how I felt? Why did she have to make me feel like I was a moral degenerate?”

“A relationship that can’t take a little stress isn’t much of a relationship. You are asking her to move things to the next level. But if you don’t love her enough to overlook some small slight to your pride, how can she trust you with her heart?”

“She didn’t just tell me my fashion sense sucks or that my ears are too big. She said an awful thing about me. If one of the boys at school had said that, I would have knocked his teeth in.”

“But from her perspective, and she may not have really been aware of exactly what her intentions were, she was doing a good thing. She was exploring the contours of your relationship. She wanted to know where she stands with you.”

“What do you mean she wasn’t aware of her intentions?”

“She’s not any more experienced than you are, Jake. Less actually. She can’t just read the minds of every man or woman she meets to find out what they really think. She’s barely a teenager. She employed an ancient technique to better understand her man. It’s probably something she did by instinct.

“I’ve never done it to a man myself, but I could see myself doing it to you someday since you’re the most important man in my life. And you know that I love you. And I know that you love me. But it’s still sometimes reassuring for a woman to see what’s in a man’s heart.”

“I’ve scanned hundreds of women. I’ve never seen that.”

“I would guess that’s because you’re reading the rational. This is an impulsive act. In fact, it’s somewhat counter-intuitive. But it works. Why else would women still be doing it?”

Jake turned to Julie.

“You don’t think I’m preying on my mother?”

“No, Jake. I never thought that.”

“But can’t you see why I would think you did when you came out and said so?”

“But, Jake, if we had just talked it out, we would have come to understand each other.”

“Are all women crazy? Do you have no conception of fighting words? Julie, you mean so much to me, but why would I want to have a relationship with a woman who wanted to have a relationship with a man who would prey on his own mother like that? How could I have come to any other conclusion?”

Ellen restarted the car and pulled onto the road.

“Can’t live with ‘em; can’t shoot ‘em with a handgun,” she said. “Jake, you’re wise beyond your years, but on this, you’re fighting a battle you can’t win. If you were a rancher and had a bull that would charge you every time you walked into his pasture, would you put it down?”

“Well, no. He’s a dangerous animal. That’s why he’s fenced in.”

“Julie is dangerous. Her words are dangerous weapons. That’s her nature. You need to accept that she sometimes uses words to probe you, to find out what’s going on inside you. You can’t understand her just based on what she says. Every woman knows that sometimes the truth is hidden below the surface, and if she wants to know what it is then she has to dig to find it.