Chapter 4: Sniper School Sunday 02 September 2007

Khudabah, Pakistan — Fourth evening of capture

The towelheads continued my torture today until early afternoon. I guess beating on me wore them out yesterday, because today I had the pleasure of being introduced to water boarding. I'd been trained for situations like this, so it wasn't too bad.

They pulled a sack cloth over my head and immobilized me on my back, reclining me so that my feet were raised and my head was down. Then the fuckers poured water over the cloth on my face and into my breathing passages.

This torture is much worse than if they would have just tried to drown me, because my automatic gag reflex didn't kick in. But I knew what was coming and fooled the fuckers, acting like I was drowning when I really wasn't. They paused every ten minutes or so to ask me questions, but again, they got no answers. In the end, all they did was give me a good bath.

They gave me some sort of nasty stew and some water, and now I am back to being hooked up to the ceiling, preparing for another night fighting the rats and chasing memories of home...

Kaneohe Bay Hawaii — Sunday Day One

The alarm on my watch beeped all too soon; before going to sleep I changed the time so it was an hour earlier than my normal o'dark thirty. I quietly shaved and dressed, I'm going to show Jens I'm not predictable. As I walked into the living room I smelled food cooking in the kitchen, so I made a detour and there was Jens all dressed and ready to go, she was cooking up a big pot of oatmeal.

"Good morning Marine," she said, "Breakfast in another five minutes, there's fresh coffee in the pot, pour us both a cup and sit down at the table. This sure beats eating the MRE's when I was watching you."

Damn, she was perky for this time of the morning. Like a good Marine, I did what I was told. Four more minutes later she put a huge bowl of oatmeal mixed with peanut butter and four slices of toast already buttered with honey on them in front of me. She slid over a plastic pill container marked for each day of the week.

"Don't forget to take today's vitamins." She bowed her head and prayed. Not knowing what to do, and feeling a bit awkward about it, I did the same.

"I knew you were going to try to wake up earlier by an hour just to prove to me you aren't predictable, I woke up an hour and a half early so I could make your breakfast and be ready, I know we have a busy day."

I stared at her, dumbfounded, "Are you some sort of witch? It seems like you're always one or two steps ahead of me."

"Well, let's see," she said, "I've been called a bitch before, even by you, but this is the first time I can recall being called a witch. I like that much better. I've been studying you for the ten years you have been in the Corps, ever since DI Anderson told the General you were going to be the next best sniper. I knew one day I would be your spotter and I wanted to make sure I was ready when that day came."

"Wait, isn't that called stalking?" I protested.

"Shut up and eat your food, it's getting cold," she ordered. Well, I wasn't going to argue with that besides the smell was making me hungry. The food was damn good and I didn't waste any more time making small talk. I finished before she did and politely waited until she was done, picked up our dishes, rinsed them and put them in the dishwasher.

"Thanks for a great breakfast, that's the first time a woman has cooked me breakfast since I lived at home with my parents."

"You're welcome," she replied. "I wanted to show you I was more than just a beautiful and deadly killer. I know that 'Jugs', as I liked to call your ex-girlfriend, never did this for you, shit she never woke up before ten. Other than her big tits, I don't know what you ever saw in her and even then you know 'anything more than a mouthful is wasted'."

"Dammit, is there anything you don't know about me?"

"Nope, there isn't, after all I am a 'witch'," she said with a laugh.

First order of duty for the morning was PT, after the plane ride and the crappy sleep I had last night I needed to get out and workout and sweat to get my mind off things. I opened the front door and stepped out, and I'll be damned, it was DI Anderson and the platoon.

"It's about time you two sleeping beauties woke up, damn half the day is wasted!" was his greeting. "Today the General said your ass is mine, we need to evaluate both of you to see if you're in condition. We're going to start with a little run of about 12 miles and then a little swim of about 5 miles and then we're going to get serious and do the obstacle course."

We were on Mofatt Road next to the Kaneohe Klipper golf course. I've never understood what a golf course is doing on a Marine base. We ran over to Lawrence Avenue, which turned into H3. At least I had been on this route and knew it; DI Anderson was going to run us over to Kahaluu point along the Kamahamaha highway, and then we'd have the joy of swimming back to MCBH through the Kaneohe Bay.

We were running at the back of the platoon and I motioned Jens closer to me, I leaned over and whispered to her, "We've got company; I've seen two men following us."

"Good," she said, "I'm glad you're finally starting to pay attention. They're our fully armed escort in case we run into trouble. When we start the swim they will shadow us in a zodiac."

The DI said, "Hey you two keep your mouths shut. PLATOON Cadence!"

"Born on a mountaintop raised by a bear,
Got two sets of teeth and a full coat of hair.
See us coming better run better hide,
Cause we'll hunt you down and eat you alive.
Slit your throat and wipe it clean,
Were mean Mother Fuckers were US Marines.
We'll spit on your graves and laugh out loud,
Wear medals on our chest and feel damn proud.
Fighting and killing that's our job,
So we earned the name Devil Dogs.

Oh Yeah
Oh Yeah"

Then one of the PFC's started:

"Ben and Jens running on the road,

It ain't easy carrying such a load.

Ben and Jens running in the sand,

Fightin' in Iraq gonna save this land.

Ben and Jens running on a mountain,

So many kills we lost track countin'.

Ben and Jens swimmin' in the sea,

If you don't wanna die you better leave them be.

Fighting and killing that's their job,

That's why we call them Devil Dogs!

When I grow up I want to be like them,

a Devil Dog until the end.

Oraaahh!

Oraaahh!"

I looked over at Jens and I think she was blushing as bad as I was. I started singing:

"DI Anderson is the best,

Drill Instructor above the rest.

DI Anderson trained me well,

Kept my sorry ass out of hell.

DI Anderson knows he's good,

Training troops the way he should.

Made his head so big and fat,

Gotta get a new Smokey Bear hat.

When I grow up I want to be like him,

A Devil Dog until the end.

Oraaahh!

Oraaahh!"

At that, the whole platoon lost it and started laughing, I looked over at Jens and said, "Shall we show these Jarheads how to run?" We both broke rank and beat feet, and the race was on.

DI Anderson yelled, "Platoon, if you don't want to do KP for the rest of the week you had better catch those two."

By the time they got moving, we had a good lead on them. I was pretty sure that, unless they had someone really fast, we would be the first two at Kahaluu point. I did notice we had lost our escort too, and mentioned that to Jens.

"Don't worry, they also have a Predator¹ following us and I don't think we can outrun it," she grinned.

One Private First Class did catch us, but I found out he had been a track star in college until he signed up. We handed him our sidearms, told him to give them to our escorts when they caught up, and jumped in the water for the swim back to MCBH.

When I first joined the Corps, I couldn't swim worth shit. There weren't many chances to swim in Leadville, there was no swimming pool, and even in the summer the lakes were too damn cold. When I joined, I would swim a couple of laps at the pool and be totally exhausted. DI Anderson saw how much this bothered me, so he called me into his office one day and handed me a DVD called Total Immersion swimming.

"Ben, watch this, do the exercises, and you'll never have problems swimming again," he said. I did that, and in about a month, I had no problems swimming. The five miles back to MCBH would be a piece of cake.

Ten minutes later, the zodiac caught up with us with our escort and DI Anderson.

"You two doing okay?"

"If we were doing any better we'd be in heaven. Nothing like a nice little swim," Jens replied.

"Hey, DI," I said, "Taking the easy way over today?"

"I didn't want my new hat to shrink or it wouldn't fit," he replied.

"Hey, no fair making me laugh." I splashed water at him.

"The predator is still following you two, so we are going back to make sure none of the recruits drown. Blow your whistle, Jens, if you need any help." With that, the zodiac turned and headed back.

The water was a perfect temperature that day, and it didn't take long until I was in the zone. Once I got to where I could swim, it almost became a Zen like experience for me. It was so nice to feel the warm water move around me, gliding over and massaging my muscles like an unseen hand. Soon we were on the beach drying off. The zodiac came up and our escort handed us our sidearms.

"Head on over to the mess hall and grab some chow. We'll be over when the last of the recruits are done," DI Anderson said.

I was hungry again (swimming always makes me hungry), so we beat feet over to the mess hall for lunch. Because we were with the platoon, we went to the enlisted mess hall. It was pretty busy already, so we got in the back of the line and grabbed our trays.

I noticed most of the Marines in the mess hall were watching us, and I leaned over and said to Jens, "I hope they all get this out of their system soon. I am getting tired of everyone watching us."

"You don't understand. You're a hero to everyone here, and they all want to be just like you," Jens replied.

"You know, I think that's a bunch of bullshit. I know what it is. They just want to be talking to the General's daughter like I am." That reply earned me a kick in the shins. Damn, that hurt.

About that time the platoon showed up and of course they were singing, the Ben and Jens cadence.

This set off the whole mess hall and they all started singing until we heard, "Ten hut! Officer in the mess hall."

In walked Brigadier General Thompson. "At ease, Marines. Continue with what you were doing."

The hall quieted down (at least that stopped them from singing) and he came over and sat at our table. The cooks brought him a tray of chow and he started eating.

"This is a damn sight better chow than when I first joined the Corps." He nodded his head in appreciation. "I heard you two did extremely well on the run and the swim. I think after today you can cut back some on the PT and start working on other things. We need the two of you working as a team in the field if we're going to win the trophy. Well, I have some other things to do." With that, he got up and went around to each table in the mess talking to the men.

Jens admired him. "It's actions like that that make him so loved by his men."

I had to agree.

When lunch was over, it was time to head over to the obstacle course for an afternoon of fun. Some say they have mastered it. Others struggle. But everyone at some point will be humbled by the dreaded obstacle course.

It started easy enough, with a waist-high log we both jumped right over. The second obstacle was the horizontal bar, like a chin up bar. We both grabbed it and swung up and did sort of a back flip over it. Then we hurdled another waist-high log. Next came the combination bars— another log like the others, then very high parallel bars that start at 10 feet off the ground and slope down to 6 feet off the ground, we grabbed them and slid down to the end, but it wasn't over. We climbed up on top of two more logs that were about 10 feet off the ground and parallel to the bars, and with a foot on each log, ran to the end, where we jumped over another log that's about 10 feet off the ground. This was one of the hardest parts of the course, and I blew through this and left Jens behind.

Next was the 6 foot high wall. I grabbed the top and jumped over. Jens was about half a second behind me. Then came a series of waist-high logs, the last four of which were right next to each other. Most Marines jump up and over each log, hitting the ground between each one. I climbed up on the first one and ran across the top of the other three. I was about one second ahead of Jens when we hit a couple more logs to jump and then a double chin up bar. I was able to jump up and grab the top one first and then climb right over. Jens was falling further back.

The last obstacle was the dreaded rope climb. I knew this was where most people failed because of the upper body strength required. But I had been a rock climber since my high school days, and could do 50 two armed pull ups and 10 single arm pull ups with no problem, so I look forward to the ropes. When I got close, I didn't even slow down. I jumped as high as I could, and grabbed the rope. Hand over hand without using my feet, I flew to the top and slid back down. Jens was just getting to the ropes.

I yelled, "That was so much fun. Let's do it again." I ran back towards the start.

I passed DI Anderson on the way. He shook his head as I jogged in place in front of him, "Damn Banzai, you're one crazy mother fucker. That was a new course record."

I did the course two more times that day, but never bested my first time. I lapped the slower recruits and after the last time through, I jogged over and laid down under a tree.

About five minutes later, Jens came over. "Shit. I thought I was good on this course, but you blew me away. That was incredible. I couldn't believe you on the rope."

"Hey, I thought you knew everything about me. I guess I still have a few secrets. You never saw me work out in my home gym because it was in the basement, but I do a lot of pull ups," I replied. That was a mistake; it made me remember everything I had just lost and really put me in a bad mood.

DI Anderson came over, "Banzai, get your sorry ass up and stop moping around over here. You aren't done for the day. You and Jens get your ass over to the gym for Semper Fu.^2"

Well, that got my attention! With the funky mood I was in, I wanted to kick some butt and take some names. There was only one thing I liked better than Semper Fu, and that was shooting someone. I didn't think they would let me do that here. In the Marines I was an MMQ which equaled a 5^th degree black belt in the real world, so I was psyched.

When we got to the gym, I noticed most of the platoon was dragging. I was disappointed; I want some real competition. We worked out for an hour, and I wasn't even working up a sweat. Man these recruits were green. They needed a lot of help.

Then DI Anderson blew his whistle, "Everyone, take a seat at the edge of the mat. Platoon, we have a real treat for you today. You have been training with Banzai and Jens. They're both ranked MMQ. We are lucky enough to have two MMS instructors here today, and thought you would like a display of excellence in CQC techniques." With that, the door opened, and in walked two of the largest Marines I've ever seen.

I looked over and Jens. "We're in for a fight, this could get interesting."

She replied, "I've seen these guys fight. We can take them." Damn. Was there anything she didn't know? She continued. "We'll fight them together, back to back. That'll limit their attacks. They're big, but they aren't fast, and that's our tactical advantage. Whatever you do, don't let them get close enough to grab you."

The sparring match started. Jens and I were back to back and we were holding our own. Then Jens missed a block, allowing her opponent to grab her and slam her to the mat. He dropped on top of her and was just getting ready to deliver a "death blow".'

I got pissed. No, I got really pissed. No one was going to take down my spotter! I started a Capoeira³ dance. My opponent missed on a kick, and I took him down with an easy foot sweep. Then, I quickly danced over to Jens and took care of her opponent with a head butt and an elbow strike to the throat.

My opponent was up and was coming after me, but was puzzled about my fighting style. He wasn't sure how to attack a man who looked like he was dancing and not fighting. I was in the zone now, and I knew I needed to make a point, so I decided to play with him.