Chapter 8

CAST:

Jeff Burnside—narrator, owner of "Burnside's Sausage & Bacon Co."

Jane Burnside—wife of Jeff

Mary Elizabeth Burnside—Jeff's daughter

Jeff (JJ) Burnside, Jr.—Jeff's son

Inez Arthur—substitute grandmother

Rastus—Negro employee

Martha—Negro employee, Rastus' wife

"Little" Jane—Rastus' daughter

Jonah—Negro employee

Ellie—Negro employee, Jonah's wife

Josiah—Negro employee

Mandy—Negro employee, Josiah's wife

Pierre Monde—creole employee, BBQ chef

Agnes Monde—creole, Pierre's wife

Henrietta Monde—creole, Pierre's daughter

Josiah reloaded Inez's pistol fer her while she got ready ta sell more sausage. I dragged the four thugs ta an alley and left them. However, before I left, I said ta the leader, "Ya better git outta town as soon as ya kin, cuz ifen any of us three ever sees ya again, we're gonna shoot ya without a word of warnin'. Ya jus' better keep that in mind."

I stood around fer a few minutes ta see what wuz gonna happen, now that the bullies wuz moved out of the way. A line formed ta buy sausage an' bacon, an' Inez wuz gonna sell out real damn quick. I left ta see 'bout the new buckboard when I saw that Inez an' Josiah wuzn't gonna have any more trouble.

By the time I got back with the new buckboard, Inez had sold the last of the sausage and bacon an' wuz cleanin' off her foldin' table fer Josiah ta load back inta the wagon. A person I figured wuz a nigger from the color of his skin walked up an' started a conversation. They wuz talkin' when I drove up with the buckboard, an' Inez waved me over ta join the conversation.

The new person introduced himself as Pierre Monde. He had come ta Inez ta ask ifen she sold sumpthin' he called bar-b-que. Both of us admitted that we had never heard of it, so we called Josiah over ta ask him what he might know. He said that he had eaten bar-b-que a couple of times an' loved it, but he didn't know how ta make it.

Pierre said that he knew a recipe an' would fix some fer us ifen we would furnish the ingredients. Josiah had such a longin' look in his eye that me an' Inez agreed ta try it out, but I said that Pierre would have ta come ta our place ta do the job. He agreed an' dictated a list of thin's that he would need. Inez wrote down the list an' studied it fer a minute or so. She said that we should have everythin' at the sausage factory, soz we could go; she didn't have ta buy nothin' afore we went home.

Pierre said that he would have ta gather his family, so he needed fer us ta wait a few minutes fer him ta collect them. He wuz back in 'bout 30 minutes with a two-wheel cart drawn by the most ancient moth-eaten mule I had ever seen. His wife wuz ridin' in the cart an' nursin' a baby. Inez an' the woman with her baby got inta the buckboard, an' I joined Pierre in the cart. Josiah drove the wagon, an' we started home.

I got Pierre's story as we rode home. Pierre insisted that they wuzn't niggers, but wuz creoles from New Orleans. He had brought his family west ta git away from the problems they wuz havin' in Louisanna since before the War wuz even over. He had run a restaurant, but had gone broke when the paper money went ta hell. He wuz tryin' ta find a place where he could git back ta makin' an' sellin' bar-b-que, but we wuz the first people he had seen what looked like we knew what we wuz doin'.

I told him 'bout our business, but we wuz lookin' fer ways ta expand, soz I wuz willin' ta take a chance on him fer bar-b-que, based on the reaction from Josiah. We agreed on a wage fer him while we tested out his product. He said that it would take a special cooker an' about a week ta make up the first batch of bar-b-que, soz I hired him on speculation fer that long.

Pierre wuz able ta make up a temporary cooker fer his bar-b-que from stuff we had around the place. While he wuz gittin his cooker ready, he made up some marinade fer the pork ribs we didn't have much need fer an' put them in ta soak. Three days later, he started ta cook. It took two days ta cook them ribs ta his satisfation, but there wuz a big ta-doment when he pulled them out an' served 'em fer dinner.

All of us, 'cept the chil'en, wuz served some of the bar-b-que, an' we wuz convinced with the first bite! The women said that the bar-b-que wuz too spicy fer the chil'en; they wouldn't like the taste, but the adults shore did. On the spot, I offered ta hire Pierre on a permanent basis. He agreed, an' we wuz in the bar-b-que business like that.

It took a couple of weeks ta git everythin' lined up, but finally, Martha an' Inez took some bar-b-que with them ta try sellin' in the markets. Jane made up banners sayin', "Pierre's Famous New Orleans BBQ." She ran out of space, soz she had ta abbreviate bar-b-que. They figured that they would have ta give out samples ta let people know what BBQ tasted like.

Martha had a speaking acquaintance with bar-b-que afore she married Rastus, so she had some idee of what ta expect. She had Rufus build her a little fire near by an' had him warm some bite-sized pieces of bar-b-que. She transferred the warm meat ta a plate which she kept covered with a piece of paper ta ward off the flies an' the dust.

Whenever a customer came up, she offer a piece of the bar-b-que as a sample. In almost every case, after tasting the sample, the customer bought as much of the bar-b-que as he or she could afford. In order ta make it last, Martha was rationing the bar-b-que ta make it last until the sausage an' bacon were gone. By the time she had sold out of everything, she was having ta refuse ta serve repeaters who weren't goin' ta buy anythin', they wuz jus' tryin' ta git more of the free samples. Martha left that day with $103 in her reticule.

Inez had 'bout the same experience as Martha, but she didn't start rationin' quite soon enough, soz she ran out of bar-b-que afore she wuz out of sausage an' bacon. She continued ta give out the free samples soz people would know what she would have fer sale next Saturday. Inez closed up with $107 in her reticule, she had a little more of the sausage with her than Martha did. They both resolved ta bring more bar-b-que on the next market day.

That settled it! I had Pierre workin' overtime tryin' ta push out as much bar-b-que as he could manage without droppin' the quality. Not only wuz Pierre workin' his ass off, but I wuz out all over the county tryin' ta find more an' more hogs. I even resorted ta passin' out handbills sayin' that I would pay a premium fer hogs delivered ta me. Me an' Pierre wuz havin' a hell of a time keepin' up with the demand fer bar-b-que.

Ta show y'all jus' how well Pierre's bar-b-que wuz received in western Missouri, Martha an' Rastus wuz held up one mornin' on the way ta market. The two bandits didn't want money, they wanted bar-b-que. Rastus made a big show of gittin' out the bar-b-que, an' the bandits wuz so interested in what he wuz doin' that they never saw when Martha drew her pistol an' shot 'em both. Such is the power of good bar-b-que! By the way, both of them bandits wuz White.

After a couple of months, thin's did settle down some fer me, at least. People wuz interested in the extra bonus I wuz payin' fer hogs when they wuz delivered, soz I didn't have ta go around the county huntin' up hogs no more. I could stay home an look after the production part of the business an' jus' pay fer the hogs when they arrived.

We started gittin' customers what asked ifen we wuz plannin' ta sell our products in some of the other nearby towns. Our answer wuz that we shore would like ta, but we just didn't have the people ta send out ta the markets. Then, one day, the solution ta our problem showed up. One of our regular customers wuz the owner of a general store in Bentlyville. He asked why we didn't sell our product through the regular stores in town what sold food. Shit! None of us had ever thought of that.