Chapter 2

We had reached that time of the year when there wuzn't much ta do on the farm. Jane had her usual work ta do inside the house, but I didn't have much ta do except the usual chores associated with the live stock. Jane an' I had discussed it, an' we decided ta try raising a few hogs fer market. I admit that I wuz partial ta cattle, but we didn't have enough range ta make a go of cattle ranching.

If we wuz gonna raise hogs, we needed a large sized pen an' shed fer 'em. I knew something about hogs, so I knew what we needed an' wuz prepared ta build the necessary structures. Fer one thing, I wanted separate pens fer the sows an' their litters, since I knew that the boar wuz likely ta kill an' eat the piglets when they wuz very young.

Saturday wuz the traditional day fer farmers ta go shopping, so that wuz the day we went into town ta buy what I needed ta build the pig pens. I figured that we could save a little money if we bought everything at one time an' got sort of a quantity discount, so I drove one wagon an' Jane drove the other.

We pulled into the yard at the livery stable afore 9:00 o'clock; that wuz kind of late in the day, but we wuz in no great hurry. I took care of our mules while Jane visited with some of the women she knew who wuz sitting in their wagons nursing their babies. Our town wuz real progressive, so we had a separate hardware store an' lumber yard. The lumber yard wuz new, serviced by a brand new sawmill what had recently set up on the edge of town.

I went by there an' dickered with the clerk/owner fer what I needed. I had planned on a wooden roof with a tar-paper covering, but I got such a good deal on galvanized iron roofing that I went fer that. I seems that the stuff had been sitting around fer nearly five years, an' nobody wanted ta pay the price fer it. It had been ordered fer a church ta be built, but the preacher wuz run out of town fer knocking up three of the local girls with promises of marriage. That killed the church construction, an' the shop owner wuz stuck with the stuff. By the time I wuz through, I had enough roofing fer the pig pens an' our house. The fire resistance wuz what sold me on paying the extra price.

We loaded the roofing on one wagon an' the rest on the other wagon, so that we wuz ready ta head home by early afternoon. I had got an even bigger discount when I had offered ta pay in gold coins instead of paper bills. While we wuz in town, I picked up some more ammunition fer the Spencer carbines. Shit, prices wuz really going up: I spent $18.73 in one day! Fortunately, most of it had come from the Jayhawkers an' Bushwhackers that had tried ta steal from us.

We only needed one wagon on the farm right now, so I put the wagon load of roofing in the barn, still loaded, but Jane an' I did unload the other wagon afore we quit fer the day. Fer supper that night, we had some cold pork an' grits left over from breakfast, since there wuz not time ta get the stove fire going again afore we went ta bed. We wuz tired that night from all of our work, but we did celebrate getting the stuff fer a new roof with a little sex afore we went ta sleep. I mention it cuz Jane thinks that wuz the night she got knocked up.

That Sunday wuz a very warm day, an' we had missed our Saturday night bath from being too tired an' not having a way ta heat the water, so we decided ta visit the swimming hole on the back side of our property. We decided ta make a holiday out of it, an' Jane packed a picnic lunch. We took the buckboard so that it would be easier ta take our lunch, clean clothes, an' other such stuff we might need.

We got ta the swimming hole in mid-morning, an' it wuz plenty hot by then. I took care of the mule while Jane just jumped into the water with her clothes on. She laughed an' said that she had ta wash clothes tomorrow, anyway, so it wuz harmless fun. Once she wuz in the water, she took her clothes off an' laid 'em on the bank ta dry.

I laid out our blanket in the shade of a big oak tree an' piled our food on the blanket. I wuz a bit more cautious about the guns, though, an' put 'em on the bank in reach from the water afore I stripped an' jumped in. My jump made a big splash over Jane, an' we had a water fight over it. She wuz more determined than I wuz, so she won that battle.

We both felt pretty grimy so we soaped each other ta work up a good lather. That wuz a real job, as you can appreciate if you have ever used homemade soap. Nevertheless, we worked up a good lather on each other's "good parts" an' really had fun playing in the water. Neither one of us knew how ta swim, but that wuz no problem cuz the deepest part of the swimming hole wuz only about four feet.

We finally got hungry, so we got out an' dried off. I dried Jane an' she dried me, with both of us paying attention ta those good parts, again. Neither one of us wuz dressed, yet, so we lay down on the blanket an' had a little more fun with our good parts afore dressing ta eat. It just didn't seem right ta eat without getting dressed, first.

Ever since that experience in the barn with the Bushwhackers, I never left my guns more than arm's reach away, so I put on my holsters an' pulled my Spencer within easy reach afore I started eating.

We wuz still eating when four riders came up an' said, "Howdy."

We returned the greeting an' I asked, "What can we do fer you gents. Care fer some cold fried chicken?"

One of the men, whom I assume wuz the leader, suddenly pulled his pistol an' said, "We ain't interested in no cold fried chicken, but we will take our pleasure with this warm young lady. Now, ya jus' set still an' ya won't git hurt. Ifen ya don't give us no problem, we'll let ya live when we leave."

Afore I could say anything, Jane stood up an' started taking off her dress. As she knew would happen, the four saddle tramps put their full attention on her an' paid none ta me. As soon as the one with the gun looked away, I pulled both my LaMats an' thumbed the hammers ta the shotgun position. I fired one of the buckshot loads into the man with the drawn gun; he wuz so close that the force of the shot threw him from his hoss. I fired the other shotgun at one of the other men, an' he, too, fell from his hoss.

As soon as she heard the blast of my shotguns, Jane dove fer the Spencer an' levered a round into the chamber. She shot one of the men with it while I shot the last of the riders with my pistol. I wuz really proud of her an' the way she had done everything exactly right. We wuz both scared ta death that the other one would be hurt, but we came out with no injuries, an' we wuz in good shape as soon as we came down from our excited nerves.

We came out of the confrontation in good financial shape, too. None of their hosses wuz hurt beyond one of 'em being scratched by a buckshot. The leader wuz wearing a money belt with $120 in it, an' the four of 'em had a total of $19.37 in coin in their pockets. There wuz so little blood on their clothes an' little mess in their pants (cuz they had been sitting on the hosses?) that Jane wuz willing ta clean 'em up fer me. We stripped the bodies naked an' tossed 'em in the woods far enough away from the swimming hole so that we couldn't smell the decay in case the varmints didn't eat 'em fast enough. Their clothes an' guns an' such went into the buckboard, an' I tied their hosses behind. Our holiday spirit had been dampened fer that day, so we went on home.

We never did find out who the galoots wuz, so we don't know why they wuz in our neighborhood. Nobody missed 'em, so I guessed they wuz from somewhere else.