Chapter 12

Danny and I sat next to each other during most of our classes for the next few days. Maddie always sat on my other side, with Brad next to her.

I don't really know what happened with Scott. We never officially broke up, but I think it was somehow implied. That Thursday, I saw him talking and laughing with one of the popular sophomores, and that weekend at a party I saw them hooking up. Trust me, it hadn't been my idea to go to that party, but Maddie had told me about it, suggested I go, and my parents agreed. They thought it would be good for me to get out, and try to get back into the swing of things.

Danny and I never talked to each other. We sat next to each other in class, and in homeroom. We walked from class to class together, holding hands, our fingers laced. The gang following behind us, chatting and laughing. Danny didn't sit with us at lunch, in fact I barely saw him during lunch.

Halfway through the next week, he did sit with us at lunch ... we had kept holding hands through the lunch line, and he and I walked together to the table. When he sat down, no one made a face, the tempo of the conversation didn't change. There were so many unspoken things going on those two weeks. Maddie and I talked about them at home online or on the phone.

"So things with you and Scott..."

"I'm guessing they're over..."

"And things with you and Danny..."

"He and I don't talk but they're looking good."

"It's so weird though..."

"What?"

"How he's like kind of joined our group..."

"I know..."

"But still no one has said a word..."

"I don't get it..."

"Me neither..."

It just seemed to be the general pattern of things ... how everyone was going around not talking about anything, yet more was happening than ever before.

"Do you think you guys are going to start talking about things?"

My phone started beeping. "Hang on just a second, other line..."

"Okay."

I hit a couple of buttons, "Hello?"

"Hi."

I knew the quiet voice anywhere.

"Hey."

"How are you?"

"Good, hang on just a second..."

"Okay."

"Maddie?"

"Yeah?"

"I have to go."

"Okay, love ya, see you tomorrow."

"Love you, ciao."

"Sorry."

"It's okay."

"How are you?"

"I'll be okay."

"That's good to hear."

There was silence for a few minutes, I signed online, and checked some profiles.

Scott's marital status had changed. "Emily" it now said ... right, that's what her name was. I suddenly remembered her from the squad.

"So..."

"Yeah..."

DanTheMan17's marital status said, "I'll be the one to protect you."

I knew the quote, it was from a song by A Perfect Circle.

Without knowing what I was doing, I was singing the song to myself.

"Don't fret precious I'm here ... step away from the window, step away from the window ... go back to sleep."

"A Perfect Circle."

"Yeah."

"I'm scared," the words came out suddenly.

"Of what?"

"Of everything."

"Don't be..."

"But what if..."

"What?"

"What if it happened again?"

"It won't."

"But it could ... and what about..."

We both knew.

"I don't know."

"It's hard."

"I know, it's hard for me too."

"I'm scared..."

There was silence for a moment.

"Are you and Scott... ?"

"I think so. Check his profile."

I heard a few clicks and taps of keys.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not."

"Hmm."

"What?"

"Nothing, I just never thought you'd say that."

"Well I'm saying it."

There was a silence. "Are you okay? You sound either snappy, or upset."

"No," that came out snappy too. "Can you come over?"

"Um..."

"Please," it was a statement, not a pleading question. "I need you right now."

"I know ... and I need you too..."

"I'm asking you."

"I'm hearing you. I'm on my way."

"Danny came over last night," I told Maddie as we sat in Starbucks. There was one a couple of blocks from our school, and we had been going there more often during frees just to chat.

"Really?" she looked surprised.

"What?"

"Just, you guys got to talking pretty quickly..."

"He was on the other line..."

She nodded.

"Was it a good talk?"

"We barely spoke."

"What about when he came over?"

"Barely spoke then too."

"Did you... ?"

"No, we just sat there."

"How?"

"Hands."

She nodded.

"And heads, and shoulders, and arms."

She nodded some more.

"This is weird..." she said.

"I know."

"This whole thing ... with you and Scott ... and then you and Danny..."

"What about you and Brad?"

"Kind of unfazed by the whole thing. I don't know ... and don't take this the wrong way..."

I nodded.

"But it was like you and Scott went out because Brad and I did ... it was like one of those we all have to go out with each other because of our social status and our friends. But I think I got lucky with Brad ... maybe we were one of the only ones who were really supposed to get together."

I nodded. I had a feeling she was right. Some of the girls and their guys had broken up and were switching around, but there were no hurt feelings.

"Life is weird..."

"Word."

I was almost done with my crumb cake, and sipping my frappe slowly.

She looked up from her black and white cookie, and half froze.

"What?"

"Just keep talking, it's nothing."

I nodded, wondering.

"Do you want to see a movie this weekend?" I mentioned.

"Maybe ... what were you thinking?"

"That new thing ... um..."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw what it was: Scott and Brad. They were still best friends, nothing had really changed there.

For some reason, things were awkward and weird. I could tell he was looking at me, but I couldn't tell why or if he was staring, or what was going on.

I nodded to Maddie, and she got it.

The next thing I knew, Maddie was trying to tell something to Brad with her eyes, and it wasn't working, because he was on his way over. With Scott.

"Hey gals, what's up?" Brad gave Maddie a kiss, and me one on the cheek.

Scott just stood there, one hand in his pocket, sucking down his frappachino.

I ate some of the crumbs off the top, and nudged at it with my fork.

They were totally not taking the hint.

Conversation was attempted, of course mainly by Brad towards Maddie and I. What were they doing? What on earth was going on?

So Maddie and I were actually sitting at one of those places in the corners where there are two couches, and we were each on a couch, at 90º angles to each other.

So Brad sits in the seat next to Maddie, leaving Scott to sit next to me.

"Hi," he says.

"Hi." I stare into my cup, watching the liquid swirl from the vigorous swirl I just gave it.

"How you been?"

"Fine, and yourself?"

"Okay I guess."

"That's good."

There was silence, Brad and Maddie were chatting away, and every once in a while there was a kissing noise. Um, hello?

"Haven't seen you around recently..."

"I've been with the gang..." I must have sounded defensive.