Chapter 4

Keith had been so intent on comforting Jethro that he hadn't noticed Mac leaving his cubicle. He was being wheeled back now, his eyes closed, his muscles a bit less clenched. "Painkillers, I imagine and X-rays. You sit with him, Lad, and I'll consult with the doctor."

"Yes Sir, I mean Dad." It was difficult to not think of Keith as a superior officer, but he didn't want to upset the man any more than he already was. "I'll watch over him, nothing will happen while I'm here."

Keith cupped Jethro's head and deposited a brief kiss on the other man's forehead. "That's my boy. I'm proud of you, Jethro. If you need to call me sir, you do so. I was just worried that you were pulling back when I needed you here."

"No, that's not it, just habit more than anything. It's a sign of respect, like with my CO or even my dad at times. Calling you dad is fine, just sometimes if the sir slips out, know it's because I respect you and want to show it. Nothing more."

"I'm honored then, Lad."

They'd started an IV right away and Mac had been drifting until they took him to X-ray but the jostling roll awakened him. A familiar face swam into his vision. "Beautiful boy."

"Hey Babe, feeling a little better?" Jet took Mac's hand, covering it with both of his. There wasn't much more he could do without giving them away, but he'd settle on this for now. "The medication should be helping a lot. Only reason why Dad left, you looked peaceful for the first time since I found you again. He's with the doctors. I'm supposed to take care of you."

Mac nodded. "Was drifting, peaceful. Don't get that much." He'd absorbed much of what they'd said. "Unless the X-ray is bad, I think they're packing it and bandaging me up. Surgery in future, stuck with me resting 'til then. Better painkillers though." He cracked a smile. "Gonna be dopey, Jet."

Mac slowly curled his fingers around Jet's hand and sighed. "Gonna make it on all levels. You, me. Life."

"I can take you dopey, as long as you're breathing. Bet you were like that when you were little, kind of silly and soft-spoken. Not at all like the commanding presence you are now." Dopey Mac needed protecting, where normal Mac would just brush off the concern. "We'll be fine, you'll be fine and I'll take care of you until you are. Wouldn't have it any other way."

"No, I was serious, and quiet. Ask Mom. I'm more a mouse than a commander right now." Mac's eyes fluttered shut and he sighed. "Nice to be able to breathe, Jet. Like these drugs."

"You should have told me. I didn't do anything, you could have been dying and I wouldn't have known." He wouldn't do anything to upset Mac, not when he was finally looking peaceful. "We'll deal with that later. You just need to tell me if it gets bad like this."

"A true leader never worries his men. I got caught in that mindset, Jet. I know I was wrong. I know it wasn't fair to you or Mom and Dad. My flawed mindset." He sighed. "I don't like people worrying about me. You should know that, Jet."

"I'm not one of your men, Mac, not that way at least. I'm supposed to be you partner, someone who can help you when you need it and ask for help when I need it. This was just reckless." At least Mac knew he was wrong. That was something, although Jethro suspected Mac would do things the same way if he had to do it again. "Let's make a deal, if something is going on, we talk about it. I don't want to lose you and then come back after the fact and be wondering if I had missed something. I'd rather just know, and deal with it head on. Maybe that's the difference between officers and us enlisted guys."

"There isn't as big a difference as you think. We're no different. Well, right now..." Mac looked at his watch." Yeah, as of ten minutes ago, I'm no longer in the Corps, so you're a soldier and I'm just a regular guy. By the way ... Happy New Year, Beautiful Boy."

He twined his hand in Jethro's. "You are my partner. You weren't when I got injured. I need you to understand that what happened then won't happen when I'm with my partner. Now I know we're committed to each other, that makes everything change in my mind and heart."

"Happy New Year..." A new year, a new start for the both of them, which they both needed right now. "Still should have told me. I was committed, but you can't tell me you weren't a bit scared too. It's why you ran instead of talking to me tonight. I was scared to tell you about Shannon, and look what happened. None of that will continue. We need to be honest if we're going to last."

"We're in a room alone. Could I have a real Happy New Year, Jet?" He urged his lover's head down and kissed him gently, but deeply, love overcoming lust. When they finally broke away, Mac tugged Jet so that he was sitting on the edge of the bed, and snuggled in close.

"Should have confided in you." Mac looked into Jet's eyes. "I was completely terrified. I still am. I was just worried that you'd run. You'd think I was a weak and whiny, that you wouldn't respect me. New year, new love, new leaf to turn over. I'll be honest if you'll be honest."

"I'll be honest. I think you know all my secrets now, not much there. Shannon was the big one. She'll tell you some other ones. I wet the bed until I was seven, but if anyone finds that out, I'll know who leaked it. No one but my parents knew that." Some day, they'd talk about his parents and more about growing up the way he had. Wasn't always good, but that was for another time. They'd also have to talk about Shannon, and her place in his life and why she was with him. "My life is an open book to you. If I'm not saying something you want to hear, ask me."

"You were a bed wetter?" That made Mac smile before seriousness overcame that thought. "I have one other big one, Jet. Otherwise you know everything." When Jethro nodded encouragingly, Mac continued.

"Not quite ten years ago, a friend and I witnessed his brother being beaten and I ... had a gun in hand, but ... I couldn't shoot the assailant, Jethro. And his brother died as a result of his injuries. My friend, he took the gun and did what I couldn't." Mac shook his head slowly. "I don't regret the fact that I didn't kill, but his brother is still gone and he'll always blame me."

Uncomfortable with the silence, Mac held up a hand. "And I'm a serial nail biter."

"Is this what your dad was talking about? Your friend who died right before you moved?" Jethro knew it had to be, but he never would have known that Mac had somehow been involved. "You never should have been in the position of having to choose, Mac. No boy that age should have to. But look at what you've done since then. Your service, and whatever you do from here on out, will honor that boy. I know you're going to argue with me about that, but just don't. You've been holding this in for a long time. You need to let it go, babe."

"Jet, they don't know. They just know that he died ... not that we covered up the circumstances or that I was close to killing his assailant. I don't want them to ever know that." He caressed Jethro's palm in slow circles. "I don't regret what I did or didn't do, sweet boy, I know ... I know."

"They won't hear it from me. It can be our secret together." No wonder Mac had run away as soon as he possibly could. "You've been running from this since you left Chicago. You shouldn't have had to do that. I know why you did, but it wasn't your fault. I guess I shouldn't be upset, you ran straight to me. But if you need to talk, or need me to scare away the nightmares, what ever it is I'm here to do it."

Mac blinked rapidly. "Jet ... I never thought of it that way, but ... you're absolutely right. I didn't realize before now. You ... you hit on something there." And knowing that, maybe Mac could come to peace about it.

"Your so damn brilliant and you're so tuned in to my psyche. You told me something I hadn't even realized before now."

"Awwww shucks, I'm not brilliant. Just seems to make a lot of sense. Something horrible happened to you back then, and you left as quick as you could. Might not have planned on doing it that way, but it happened." Now something else horrible happened, but Jethro had every intention of making sure that Mac didn't run again. "You've got me to help out and keep things sane for you. Don't hide from it, let me help you."

"You are brilliant. Accept that I think you are. I wouldn't fall in love with an intellectual lightweight." Mac turned serious. "You don't hide ether. We both know we're having nightmares, but maybe we should start facing 'em together."

"It's what I've been waiting for. We've got everything that I can think of out on the table, so no more hiding." Jethro pulled Mac more firmly against him, letting the man's warmth relax him. "I'm not hurting you am I? Don't want you hurting any more because of me."

Mac let out a happy sigh. "Like you taking care of me. Kinda like I took care of you in Germany." Even though he'd been more badly injured, Jetho had seemed more broken at the time and Mac had spent hours soothing his newfound lover. "Not hurting me. You'll know if you are. Too many exposed nerves. This is nice, though."

His hand ran over the locked muscles of Jethro's cast arm, digging in deep. "Can't wait for you to get this off. Dad'll have all sorts of muscle building regimens worked out. Really want to feel both your arms around me and both your hands touching me." Mac rested his head against Jet's. "Double handed hand jobs, babe, and getting taken doggy style."

"When your doctor clears you for more then lying in bed, you might get your wish, babe. But until then, we'll have to settle for this. I'm not going to send you into a heart attack just because it's been a few hours since we've been able to have sex." Jet kissed Mac's head, needing to be constantly touching and making sure her was still there. "I'll have some time to do all the exercises your dad can come up with. I'm going to try and get assigned temporarily someplace around Chicago if it's possible. I'm on desk duty until the arm heals and I get my rehab time in. They don't need me here, and it might buy us some extra time together until I get called back to active duty."

"Few days, more likely. And I have needs." Mac assimilated what Jethro said and smiled. "Love to have you on my turf for a while, Gibbs, though we're going to have to get over the awkwardness of making out in my folks' place."

"I wasn't the only one who was concerned about that. Your parents are pretty cool, but I'm not sure I want to test just how cool they can be. But they have to know, with the two of us living together they're going to get more then cuddling on the couch." He wouldn't push his luck, but he wasn't sure that he could keep things to hand holding, especially not when he'd come so close to losing Mac.

"They won't get anything they can't handle but we're sharing my room. Our room now. And anything goes in there. We'll need to if what's going down is what happens." Jethro just gave him a look and Mac shrugged. "Mom'll claim it just came to her, Dad'll give the stern paternal look, but I know they've decided to help her, Jethro. And you know what that means just as well as I do. I don't like it, but I know where things are going. Mom and Dad have another young person to champion."

"I'll try to keep her away from you as much as possible. I know you aren't going to care for this, but she needs the help as much as you and I do. Your parents are wonderful, and if they can do something to help Shannon out, I'm all for it. But I understand where you're coming from. You don't have to worry, Mac. I'm not going to stray; I'm not going to run back to Shannon. I'm here for you and you alone."

"I can handle myself, maybe not now ... but in general. Know this, Jet. You stray, we're over. I don't worry that you will, but the way you worked this situation left a hell of a lot to be desired. No anger, no upset, just know that it wasn't cool and won't happen again, okay?"

"It won't happen again. I never intended to continue with Shannon now that we were together, but I still should have told you before we were pulling up in front of her apartment." He'd almost lost the best thing in his life, because of is own stupidity. "We're starting fresh, although I don't expect a clean slate. I know I screwed this all up, and I plan on proving to you that you can trust me."

"And I love you enough to give you a clean slate, Jet. Let's begin again."

He took Jet's hand and placed it very lightly over his heart. "Right here is where you live. It felt broken when I didn't have you here." He gave Jet a small smile. "Guess it sort of is broken right now."

"But we're going to get it better. I'm here, and I'm not going to let a little broken heart take you from me."

~~

Keith was waiting for the doctor to read the X-ray when Emily and Shannon came in. The girl looked to be absolutely beside herself but Emily was grimly determined. He folded his wife into his arms. "He's resting, Em. They have him on some painkillers, his vitals are fine, and I'm just waiting for the doctor to read the X-ray. Its all encouraging and we should be able to bring him home tonight."

"We'll take him and Jethro to a hotel. If the doctor says it's okay for him to travel, we'll be taking him home." How to approach bringing Shannon with them was going to be a whole other matter. Emily could try and sneak around it and convince Keith it was his idea, but that would take too much time, especially if they would be able to take Mac tonight. There was also the whole thing about bringing her back with Mac in the same car. Her son might not like that at all. Best to face this head on, and battle it out while Mac wasn't involved. At least then they'd have a plan for when he was ready.

"I want to help Shannon. She's all alone except for Jethro, and a girl her age needs a mother. We need to bring her home with us, and make sure she gets the things she needs to be an adult. Starting with her diploma. She's going to need a lot of help, and I think we're just the people to provide it."

Keith sighed heavily. "I was expecting this but not so soon." He had been anticipating this and had already made his decision. "Shannon in front, Mac in back, between you and Jethro. And if she lays a hand on our boy in anger, all bets are off. She's not to feel that she has a right to strike out at him. Never again. She'll go to school or get a job, and she's not to get in between our boys, Emily. I will not have Jethro and Mac further stressed. You and she can share a hotel room this evening but she's not to be with Jethro alone yet. I don't want her hurting him."

Keith took a deep breath and nodded at his wife's amazed expression. "I still have the ability to surprise you, don't I?"

"You do. I didn't think you'd go for it so easy. But I knew you saw the same thing I did, she needs someone and we would be good for her. But there is a problem, at least a small one." She should have never doubted her husband's capacity to love. He didn't have to teach anymore, but he loved his kids and wouldn't turn his back on them. "She's skittish around men. When I suggested that she come home with us she thought it was to be your personal sex toy. I promised her you wouldn't touch her. That means at least in the beginning not even hugs or inadvertent touches. I know and you know you would never treat a young woman that way, but her father has really done a number on her."

"I'm a father and an educator. I see a lot of lost young people that I can't help, Emily. For this one, we can make a difference. I'm going to do whatever I can." He gave Emily a gentle but sad smile. "I've dealt with this before, Emily. Has there been abuse or just the threat of it?" He thought back to earlier. "I restrained her after she pushed you down; I hope that didn't upset her further."

"She said you gave her your coat and you weren't creepy. So I'm guessing whatever you did wasn't enough to upset her. She even said that hugs would be okay, but I don't want her to confuse anything for a sexual advance." Emily knew that her husband would step up to the plate, he still taught so he could help kids as much as he could, that and he just loved children. "I don't think there has been any physical abuse, perhaps mental and emotional, but she said that Jethro saved her before it got too bad. If her father weren't dead, I'd kill him, I have never hated someone so much in my life. What he did to that girl's self-esteem should have gotten him shot, or hung by his toenails. Something just as horrible as what he'd done to her."