Chapter 6

Tony wasn't done yet. Even though he knew Gibbs was awake, he didn't want to drift off again. With the comforting weight of the sweatshirt around him, he felt strong enough to drift a bit further.

When he saw Abby curled up and asleep, he moved closer, the misty feeling overtaking him. They were in Tony's living room now, the LCD dark for the moment, an empty bottle of wine between them. They'd done this more than once, talking about relationships and desires and longings.

"I saw him, Abbs. We talked."

"No way! What happened? Was he okay with it?"

Tony nodded slowly. "He's surprised and a little overwhelmed but he seems okay with it, Abbs. Said we'd talk it all through when I'm awake."

She frowned, giving him a hug and snuggling in. "There's that. You have to get better, Tony! Those bastards can't win. I can't believe how much they hurt you!"

"I know ... I know." He held her close and stroked her hair. "He hugged me, Abbs. Said we'd talk about it. Gibbs, talking." He tried to laugh but it came out as a choked off sob. "And he said I'm hurt real bad, they did some awful things to me."

"Yeah, but you don't think about that now, you hear me, Tony. You have to get better. I need you! Gibbs needs you! He's barely left your bedside. Tony ... he loves you. He might not be able to say it, but he loves you so much. He was crying! Gibbs! Crying!"

"Crying? But Gibbs never cries." This shocked Tony. "He told me he was scared."

"He did for you. You get better, Tony. And you'll see a new Gibbs. This changed him more than any of the rest of us."

Tony listened to her words, closing his eyes and keeping her close even as they both drifted off to sleep. "Love you, Abbs."

While Tony slept, Gibbs kept going over their "meeting". He couldn't think of it otherwise, especially while Tony huddled under his sweatshirt. Gibbs had never been the kind of guy who believed in all that hocus pocus stuff, he was a trained investigator and interrogator who believed in the real—not this. Even though he'd seen Kelly once...

He knew he could probably talk to Ducky or Abby about it, but for now this was his special secret with Tony and not to be shared. It wasn't lost on him that his thought process had fundamentally shifted and he was starting to think of Tony and himself as a sub-unit. Separate from the others. He knew it wasn't lost on the more astute of their friends, either.

But that was something to be dealt with on another day.

"He's sleeping peacefully, Jethro," Ducky remarked in a quiet voice. "Quite remarkable how he relaxes in your presence."

"Not such a shock," Gibbs allowed. He'd worked beside Tony all these years and knew the younger man lapped up every bit of positive attention. He had played Tony quite a few times to keep him off his guard, to stop him from getting so confident of his place. But everyone knew that Tony and Abby were his favorites. It was why he rode Tony so hard.

"Indeed," Ducky replied after a couple of minutes of silence. This quiet, subdued Ducky was as unnatural to Gibbs as Tony's stillness. He wanted his friend to talk.

"When did you know, Duck?"

Ducky didn't pretend to not know what Gibbs was referring to. "I never knew in so many words. He confided only in Abby. But oh, I suspected, Jethro. For quite some time."

"Signs?"

"Ah, yes. There were signs, Jethro. The way he watched over you when you were in the coma. His heartache when you were gone. The way he tried to emulate you..."

"Signs I should have seen, Duck. Not..." That time was too painful to think about. He hadn't done right by anyone then—most of all DiNozzo.

Ducky nodded, focusing on Tony for a long moment. "Jethro, there is a look that Tony gets when he thinks you aren't watching him, the way his eyes not only light up but take on a completely different look of longing and need. I perceived that as what it was, I suppose. Desire for you. Not just sexual in nature but quite ... well, yes. Quite romantic as well. He doesn't only want to bed you, he wants to forge a relationship with you."

And that was what complicated things even further. A single sexual event was one thing but a relationship ... when he wasn't sure what he wanted ... it was complicated.

"We're NCIS, Duck. There can't be a happily ever after living together or married or whatever else..."

Ducky touched Gibbs' arm gently. "Jethro, sort out how you feel and what you're willing to give him and then consider the long term effects that a relationship would have. I do believe Jenny would go to bat for both of you if the situation should arise and need to be dealt with. The bigger issue at hand is your feelings for him. Could you fall in love with another man?"

There it was, the question he'd been avoiding and didn't know the answer to.

"Not an easy question to answer."

"I imagine not, especially for a macho Marine such as yourself. Have you feelings for Anthony changed at all since discovering this information?"

It wasn't a cut and dried situation and Duck damn well knew it. "Yeah," he allowed.

"How, Jethro? Do you think any less of him?"

No, he didn't! He shook his head. He wasn't a feelings guy but he'd given it all a hell of a lot of thought since this happened. He felt protective and proprietary over Tony but he sure didn't think any less of him.

"Jethro? I need to know. As his doctor, I need to know, to prepare him."