Chapter 11

Gibbs should have felt a sinking feeling that Tony seemed to react to his words but it made sense and somehow it soothed him. It was out there. He'd admitted it to Tony, in a fashion, and if Tony had heard it ... well, there wasn't a damn thing Gibbs could do to take it back. He wouldn't have said it at all if a part of him—a big part—hadn't wanted to. The truth was that he needed that connection with Tony as much as Tony needed it with him.

With every moment that passed their bond strengthened and Gibbs knew it was them as a unit. He trusted Tony more than he had anyone ... since Shannon. And right now it was okay that Tony knew how he felt on some level. It made it just that bit easier. Someday soon he'd have to look Tony in the eyes and explain it, but this made that job a little easier, made the knot in Gibbs' chest loosen a little.

Gibbs' mind drifted as he settled into a place between pure wakefulness and sleep, his hand continuing to stroke over Tony. He wondered if Shannon and Tony would have gotten along and if his wife and daughter would have approved.

He started imagining a scene, one of his favorite fantasies. A hot summer day, humidity stretching over everything like a thick oppressive blanket. A cookout, a college-age Kelly bent over books with Maddie Tyler, Shannon basking in the sunlight in that emerald one-piece bathing suit she'd always loved. Tony and him throwing a football around.

Yeah ... Gibbs could imagine it. Tony would tease Shannon, flirt outrageously with Kelly and Maddie. Gibbs would growl but they'd all know there was no malice behind it. It would be a day of laugher and friendship.

But how would Shannon deal with him being with Tony ... being in love with Tony? Shannon had been one of the most open-minded people Gibbs had ever known but this ... was extreme. He had to think she'd be happy that there was someone in his life—the first person since Jen—that he could be real with, that he felt he might be able to show his heart to—eventually. Shannon had set the bar impossibly high for relationships and nobody—not even Jen—had come close.

Gibbs sighed, settling deeper into the chair, hand more firm on Tony's flesh. He was trying to hang on to wakefulness but knew he was failing miserably, his mind drifting and winding in patterns that didn't make sense.

"Should get a cot in here, huh? They want me to go to the hotel, but I don't want to leave you, Tony." The words were spoken in a barely conscious mumble, but he felt Tony's arm muscles contract. It was incredible how Tony was managing to communicate in their sleep and by muscle movement.

He couldn't help the gentle smile he could feel forming. "Get to sleep, Tony. I know you're listening. You have to sleep and heal. I'm sleepy too..."

Gibbs shifted his chair one more time, hand completely curling around Tony's arm, other arm cradling his own head as he tried to get comfortable. Within seconds he'd fallen into a deep and dreamless sleep, content in the knowledge that he was keeping Tony safe.

Tony's eyes cracked open when he heard a soft male voice just outside his door. The sun had been up for a few hours now and Gibbs was sound asleep in the chair beside him, emitting little snores every minute or so. If he could have reached out with his ruined hands and touched Gibbs he would have. They were connected by Gibbs large hand around his bicep, the heat welcomed and comforting.

Tony had heard what Gibbs had said before he went to sleep and his heart was still soaring. He knew they had a long way to go--him and his repressed Marine--but this was a supremely encouraging start. At least Gibbs was facing his feelings. And Gibbs admitted to being in love with another man. With him. Tony DiNozzo. Funny, Tony hadn't ever thought Gibbs to be that in touch with his emotions before.

"Hey, Tony. Man, you look rough." Even though the voice had awoken him, the door to his room opening startled him a little. Carl Balboa stood in the doorway, looking rough himself. The crescents of shadows made his dark eyes all the more prominent and he had a hungry look that Tony'd never seen. His designer suit was rumpled and his dark hair was mussed. Carl always looked pristine, and this was a huge shock to Tony.

"Hey, Carl," he rasped, clearing his throat. "Come on in. Thanks for visiting. Didn't know you were in town. I'm still in Richmond, right?"

Carl gave him a tense smile. "I ... uh. Yeah. Yeah you are Tony."

"Wow! Thanks for making the drive!" He and Carl had always been friendly but this was ... this was really nice.