Chapter 13

Friday 10.30am

He lay rigidly still in the bed and felt the sweat crawling down his body. He could smell himself, stale and rancid, but the shower seemed a million kilometres away and he felt dizzy when he tried to sit up. Last night had been the Calvary he knew it would be. The idiotic faces of his colleagues, the women sniggering at him, their udders swinging like sacks of mud. His head was pounding and a thin rim of dazzling light seemed to frame his vision. For the first time in years he'd been forced to call in sick, and he could imagine what effect that news was having on the wagging tongues of the herd. Somehow, the smiling man had known, and had called and expressed sympathy for his illness, and then had hinted strongly that sick days wouldn't be a welcome addition to his routine. He clutched the smooth butt of the shotgun and heard himself whimpering softly. This couldn't go on: on Monday he would sweep out the office root and branch, destroy everyone who had laughed, and keep his head down for a while. If they thought they controlled him they were wrong. A man could rise above this sea of troubles if his will was strong enough.

My bladder woke me. The bathroom was even hotter than the bedroom and I could smell myself unpleasantly easily. Once the immediate problem was dealt with I checked the mirror, winced, and took the one pace necessary to get into the shower.

Shaved and shampooed, my breath smelling of mint rather than dead bacteria, I made coffee. There's nothing to do. The hell there isn't, grasshopper: your turn now. I'd stripped the bed and remade it when I heard the front-door open. She looked disappointed when she saw me.

'Anita did most of breakfast because I had to go and see Elena, and I thought I'd surprise you. Why aren't you still snoring?'

'I woke up and made myself beautiful for you and the bed's got clean sheets. Be glad you didn't catch me asleep. You'd have been revolted.' Her smile reappeared.

'No point in wasting clean sheets. Go and lie down while I sort myself out.' She began to undress as she spoke. Game on. She disappeared into the bathroom.

'I'm absolutely shameless, ' she murmured forty minutes later, 'but at least I can think straight again now.'

'And I'll be cerebrally challenged for the rest of the day.' I gently tweaked one brown nipple. 'What happened to out of bounds?' She beamed.

'I got a diaphragm. Everyone thinks they're old-fashioned, but I'm sick of condoms and now I can be in bounds any time I like. Tell me I'm clever and sexy.'

'You're a clever, sexy, old-fashioned girlie. Are you up for seconds or do you want some refreshment first?' She reached down between our bodies

'If you're up for it, so am I. Might as well amortise the cost as quickly as possible.' That was it for a while. Afterwards I told her about the day before.

'You mean it's over?' Her face was suddenly radiant and I felt myself smiling.

'I've got to see Simon but that's all. Is it OK if I concentrate on you now?'

'If you don't there'll be trouble. What about Alberto?' She tugged gently at a hair on my chest.

'Mercedes' problem. We're not going to be using the interview and I don't want to see him again. Simon'll be disappointed though.'

'He'll cope. You're pragmatic, you English.' Her phone rang and she dived out of bed.

'Hola mama.' The conversation was about mealtimes and shopping trips and family, and when she rang off she sighed.

'Are they happy?' She made a face.

'It's dependent parent syndrome, I suppose. I'm terrified she'll turn up at the hostal asking if she can help.' I stayed quiet and she disappeared into the bathroom. When she came back she started putting her clothes on.

'I've got to go and get certified copies of all my qualifications, just in case nobody in England believes I'm a nurse, and then I'm having an early lunch with her, and then I'm picking Elena up from the flat and taking her to the hostal to start work, and then bringing her back ... can you do me up, please ... she was officially discharged this morning, and Nuria signed for her, just as if she was a parcel, which means that now the flat's home for her, so I gave her some food money and told her to go shopping. We'll have to sort out the utilities and rent and everything and get her a bank-account next week, I suppose.' She sat down on the bed and I hugged her.

'I'll come to the hostal this evening and tell Elena to get a bus home and then I'll take you out for supper and we can talk about sharing the load. You'd better tell your mum that you'll be late.'

'More amortisation? You're nothing but work, aren't you? I love you so much.'

The day seemed a little less bright when she'd gone. I pottered round the flat being domestic, and then bit the bullet and called Simon, suggesting lunch.

The hostal was quiet when I let myself in. I found Anita hoovering under a bed; I admired her rump for a moment and then goosed her gently. She jerked upright, spinning round on her knees.

'What the ... Alex, don't ever do that, I'll tell Pilar and... '

'Hola, guapa. I'm here to tell you that it's all over. We're back to normal.' I hauled her to her feet and gave her a hug and a kiss. 'That's for covering for Pilar this morning. She used the time wisely.'

'That doesn't mean you can creep up on me like Jack the Ripper. Let me finish here and then tell me sensibly.' We sat in reception and when I'd finished she went to fetch beer.

'Do you think Mercedes will do what she said?'

'I hope so. I'm tired of being a crusader.' She nodded.

'It was beginning to show. Pilar's bringing Elena here tonight.'

'Yeah, and you're the manager, so you'd better start thinking what you want her to do. I'm not going to get involved at all.'

'What about the sister?

'Same answer. She'll probably be at the flat next week, with Ana and Belén visiting her non-stop, so I should think she'll be gagging to escape.' I finished my beer. 'I seem to be on holiday. I'll see you later.'

I surprised myself at lunch by telling Simon exactly what had happened at the club, and we sat over coffee for a long time and thought our thoughts. He was secretly mourning what might have been, and I was secretly relieved that I wouldn't have to keep on curbing his enthusiasm. Luckily we were English so we didn't share our secrets with each other.

'This girl's a bit screwed-up, isn't she?' he said eventually. 'Are you sure she's not going to go bonkers and confess all?'

'Screwed-up, but not suicidal.' I didn't want to dissect it all again. 'I'm tired, Si. I'll call you next week.' He examined me closely.

'You've lost some weight and your eyes look funny, but that'll pass. I'm glad your man's going to have a bad time.' He sketched a wave and left. I took a taxi back to my flat. Time for a siesta. Beauty sleep is never wasted.

I slept deeply, and when I woke my watch said it was six o'clock, and my body said it needed another shower. When I was myself again I sipped tea and wondered where to eat. Somewhere Pilar liked, where they'd look after us without being obtrusive. I finished my tea and went to tell Ramón the good news. Much more of this and I'd be asking him for a season ticket. And an Irish pub first, I thought, to introduce her to a beer-stained ambience. I strolled down to the hostal.

They were all there: Pilar and Anita on the sofa, and Elena sitting at reception. I blew her a tiny kiss and went to give Pilar a proper one. Not an unpleasant chore and in an excellent cause. Anita clocked what was happening.

'Practising for tonight, Big Boy?' she asked.

'She won't know what's hit her, ' I said, projecting like Olivier. Pilar made a bored face.

'If I don't know yet I belong in a home for the terminally bewildered.' She ran her nails up and down my back. After a minute of bliss I turned to Elena.

'What's it like working again?' I said. With a visible effort she smiled.

'All I need now is for Monica to be well.'

'You ought to talk to Anita about what you'll be doing, and when Monica will be ready to start. She'll have a terrible time if you don't plan things properly.' She stuck her bottom lip out.

'She is my sister and I will look after her.' Her face wrinkled. 'She has changed a bit though, since ... I mean she has started telling me to be practical. It was the other way round before.' Long may it continue. I turned to Anita.

'Do you want to do Dolores's stuff now, or would tomorrow be better? We might be going away, so I'd rather get it sorted, if that's alright with you.' She volleyed impressively.

'No rest for the wicked and less for the good. Elena, you're good and I'm wicked, so can you hang out Alex's wash and put in the one those Japanese people left, please?' Elena got up slowly and went to the utility-room and Pilar gave Anita and me a thumbs-up and followed her. We moved to the desk and she watched me anxiously as I checked the spreadsheet

'Nothing for me to do, ' I told her after a minute. She let her breath out in a whoosh.

'I was so worried I'd done something really stupid.' We totalled everything and I showed her how to fill in a paying-in slip.

'If you go and deposit this on Monday before Elena leaves that'll be it. Put a note at the end of the e-mail to tell Dolores, and send it. I'll watch you attach the spreadsheet, and if you do it right I'll tell you a secret.' She smiled proudly.

'I opened a Hotmail account and a Yahoo one as well, and I've been practicing sending things. It's quite easy really. I don't know why I was so nervous.' Staying ahead is a great motivator.

'You'll be able to delegate soon, and be the one who does the checking.' She sighed happily.

'I've never been in charge of anything before. Pilar and I were talking about it; she's very sensible, Alex, so how come she fell for you?'

'Have you been studying English sarcasm as well?' She said nothing, but her eyes were dancing. 'Do you want to know the secret? Even Pilar doesn't know yet.' I told her about Miguel and Dolores's happy event and her eyes went as round as saucers.

'Are you sure they weren't pulling your leg?'

'Come on, Anita, you know Dolores's got no sense of humour. Besides, I know a pregnant woman when I see one.' A smile spread over her face.

'As long as the money keeps coming in Miguel won't bother us at all.' I nodded.

'Ten gold stars, Mrs Einstein. If everything works out and it's a good autumn, we'll have leverage when we talk to them again.' She looked up.

'You, you mean.'

'Are you planning to stop learning?' She reached up and gave me a big kiss just as Pilar and Elena came out of the utility-room. Elena gasped and Pilar glanced at her quickly then struck a pose, arms akimbo.

'Leave him alone, bitch, or I'll scratch your eyes out.' She ruined the effect by giggling; Elena looked as if she had swallowed a live worm. That's enough.

'Anita, I'm taking Pilar off now, because I haven't seen her properly for ages and we deserve some time together. Can you tell Elena about buses, and show her on the street-guide so she doesn't have problems getting home? We'll come down in the morning, and if Elena can do tomorrow night and Sunday morning that would be brilliant. Elena, you'll have to work out details with Anita. Pilar will talk to Nuria about visiting Monica and making sure you get lifts there and back.' I turned to Pilar. 'Are you OK to go, cariño? I've got a whole evening planned.' She nodded dumbly and I swept her melodramatically into my arms, but she struggled free.

'Alex, we've got to say goodbye properly. You can't just tell everyone what to do and then float off. Give them both a kiss, and be careful with Anita: you know she's susceptible.' She reached out and ruffled my hair. 'Subtle as a brick, ' she whispered affectionately. They huddled, firming up the weekend plans, and when I kissed Anita goodbye she patted my cheek. We walked uptown slowly. Sitting in Molly Malone's, watching Pilar experiment with Guinness, I felt at peace with the world. She put her glass down and made a face.

'I think cold drinks should be transparent. Why were you so unkind to Elena at the hostal? And did you really mean going away?'

'If she gets upset that's fine by me. She was only behaving because of you. I don't want to need a chaperone every time I go there. Anita's going to be alright though.' I sipped my transparent beer. 'And I fancy going off somewhere. Do you want me to change that treacle for something you like?'

'Let me persevere. Do you know what I want to do?' I made panting noises. 'Yes, but in Cuenca. I've always liked it there.'

'You like it anywhere. OK. I'll book somewhere luxurious. Will people be able to manage without us though?' She glanced at me sharply to see if I was serious and I buried my face in my glass and blew bubbles to reassure her.

'Don't scare me like that. Anita will be fine and Ana and Belén have decided to become co-authors of Nuria's rehabilitation thesis and they're all fired up about it. They'd love me to be out of the way. Nuria keeps saying that I take things far too lightly. That's your influence, you know.'

'Nicest thing she could have said. Let's go and make Ramón jealous again.'

Ramón did his best, the sheets were still clean, all my plans for the next day worked; the parador at Cuenca was just the job, and we arrived back at five o'clock on Sunday feeling soppy. Amortisation had proceeded apace, Pilar's mother had only called once, and life was an absolute treat. As we rolled into Madrid she shook herself.

'Why can't weekends last longer?'

'Relativity. Has your dad decided where the holiday's going to be?'

'Mum said they'd tell me tonight. I haven't been away with them for three years so they'll probably want to buy me ice-cream and take me to theme-parks.'

'Nothing wrong with ice-cream.' She fiddled with the pendant I'd given her.

'I'm going to break this if I don't stop playing with it. But why a bee?'

'Luck. I saw it in a shop window and it's as close to what I wanted as I'm ever going to find. I don't think they make ant pendants and bees are just as industrious.'

'Nicer too. Maybe I'll start a bee collection. Who needs the car tomorrow?'

'You. I'm not going anywhere, and you're going to be charging about. Is there anything you want me to do?' She nibbled her bottom lip.

'You might still get tied up. I'm going to ask Anita if she thinks Elena can do breakfasts permanently. There's nothing wrong with her at all now, but I'll keep going there in the evenings for a day or two at least, till the two of them have got a working relationship. Let's visit the flat now and sniff the air.'

'Whatever you say, ma'am.' I switched lanes and earned myself some high-decibel abuse from other road-users. When we arrived Elena was flushed and excited, and Monica pale and tired, as if they'd been quarrelling. Kisses all round: Monica didn't tense up so much when it was her turn and Elena wanted to show me all the new furniture; Pilar said firmly that she'd like to see it again too. Afterwards they raided the kitchen to find refreshments and I went back into the lounge.

'Monica?' She half opened her eyes and looked at me.

'I wanted to ask you something. What were you going to say?'

'I think it's done. The person who's making sure is someone he hurt a long time ago and she hates him even more than you do.' She closed her eyes again.

'I wish he was dead. Can I ask you what I was going to?'

'Sure, what's the problem?'

'Can I stay here? My dreams are much better and Doctor Ilona gave me some tablets just in case, but being by myself is not very nice. Nela and I were arguing about it. She is worried in case I get nervous, and she is being bossy like always.' I was doubtful.

'Have Ana and Belén been today?' She sighed.

'All the time, almost, taking notes and talking in Spanish. It is like being a laboratory rat. Ana is coming at nine to take me back, but I really do not want to.' Surely they'll be better off under each other's wings. I reached for my phone.

'Let's ask.'

I spoke to Ilona and repeated the conversation, then called Elena in and put the phone on the coffee table in handsfree mode. The three of them talked in Rumanian for a while, then Elena picked the phone up and gave it to Pilar.

'She wants to talk to you.' Pilar listened and nodded, then nodded and listened some more; she rang off and jerked a thumb at me.

'Go and sit in the kitchen, please. This is girl-talk.' There was no beer so I looked out of the window instead and felt smug. I had neatly avoided being the person to say yea or nay, and Pilar was going to sort the problem out. Control freak? Moi?

The girl-talk went on. Pilar's voice went professional and then moved back to the one I preferred. Elena and Monica chimed in, and I heard a tinny voice coming from my phone again. The view from the window had palled when Pilar stuck her head through the doorway.

'Alex?' I slouched back into the lounge.

'Yes, ma'am.' She looked fired-up and in charge of everything.

'Monica is going to live here even though it is a bit soon, and Ilona is talking to the clinic now. I am going to take Elena to the hostal, then going with Monica to collect her stuff and the dressings she needs, and then bringing her back here.'

'Good. Can I go and get a beer, then, and do I need to go to the hostal?' When I said 'need' Pilar raised an eyebrow and Elena looked hurt.

'Anita says no, and I will look in there after I have brought Monica back. I think you ought to go now and call whatshername.' The girls couldn't see her eyes, which were at complete odds with her words. 'Better let me handle this, ' she said quietly in Spanish. 'Elena's going to be sulky and Monica's quite tired. I'll find you later.' She nipped my ear and pulled out her own phone. I received a grumpy good-bye from a pouting Elena, a surprisingly unreserved one from a happier Monica, and headed down the stairs. Pilar came galloping after me.

'You forgot your phone. Remember I promised Mum I'd be back in time to hear about the holiday, so don't go too far.' She kissed me hard and charged back upstairs.

Nothing to do again. If Mercedes didn't ring I'd leave it till the morning. Madrid was beckoning and I deserved every watt of fun I could find.

I only just heard my phone above the noise of the music.

'Alex?'

'Mer, I was just thinking about you.' Lie number three hundred and seventeen. I'm in a bar listening to some early-evening blues Let me go somewhere quieter.' I moved out onto the street. 'Go ahead.' She was flying.

'Juan asked why I hadn't said anything before, and I said that I'd been trying to bury it but I'd told you because you were accidentally involved and I was so upset, and you'd suggested telling him. He was so pleased and now he thinks you're good for me.' Jesus Christ. 'And he asked what exactly happened, what did I want to do, sensible questions; I was crying, but he comforted me and said that Álvaro was mine for as long as I wanted. He understood me completely. He said that he'd been worried about me but he thought it was because of you, so I had to tell him that I liked you a lot and we were having a fling, because that's what he expected, but it wasn't anything serious, and he just smiled and said you were very lucky and gave me a kiss. I think the last time he did that was when I passed my exams. So what do you think about that?' Game over.

'Best solution possible, as long as you keep your promise and stay in touch. The maggot looked terrible on Thursday but it'd be good to know that he stays that way.' And you might be flannelling on Juan's instructions.

'Yes, but I'm not reporting to you on a schedule. Your turn to trust me. I'm going to go for a drink with Agustín now. Juan said he's been worried too and I should explain things to him. What do you think I should tell him?' Who am I? Dr Ruth?

'I can tell you that he definitely has a soft spot for you. If it were me I'd tell him everything, and then I'd tell Álvaro that you've told him, and that he's totally enraged. That'll keep the little bastard shitting.' I heard a smile in her voice.

'Always ready with practical advice. I've not forgotten that I owe you. Whatever I can, as long as it's important.'

I'll keep it in the bank for the moment, Mer. Talk to you later.' That's the three of them legal then.

I stood in the middle of the square. No more to do, and what was more I had an oven full of cash, a stupendous woman, my adoptees were being dealt with by the cream of the nursing profession, and my hostal chores had been offloaded. I went back to the music and ordered brandy over ice.

'You're a complete disgrace, ' said Pilar crossly as she loaded me into the car. 'What on earth came over you? The barman told me you threatened to sing English songs unless he gave you more brandy, and some of those girls nearly hurt themselves laughing while you were trying to dance. Just because everything's worked out doesn't mean you have to behave like someone from Big Brother.' I was past pain, but my head wasn't totalled.

'If you'd been with me we could have celebrated properly, but you left me alone and now I'm paying the price for your neglect.' I meditated till she braked hard outside my flat.

'Wake up, get out, go to bed, and call me in the morning if you dare.' I peeked at her.

'I'm sorry, love. Help me into the flat and pretend to kiss me, and tomorrow I'll feel like shit and apologise properly. Is Elena going to be OK for breakfast?' She undid my seat belt.

'Even when you're plastered you're worrying about everyone. I've been getting that part of it sorted out, which is why I wasn't celebrating with you.' She came round to the passenger side, and lugged me into the flat. Maybe nurses are trained to handle pissed-up idiots. She dumped me on the bed and stood back.

'You'd better run, or your mum will go ballistic.' She bent down and hugged me gently.

'Even when you're plastered. I suppose you deserve a celebration. When you called, Anita said that if there were still problems you wouldn't be making a fool of yourself.' Bless you, Anita.

'Thanks for not being angry.' She smiled, finally.

'Are you going to be sick?'

'Hardly ever.'

'OK, then.' She kissed my nose. 'That's your lot for tonight. You smell like an entire wine-producing area and I've got to drive. Sleep as well as you can.'

Surprisingly, the hangover wasn't too bad. I'd woken in the night and forced a litre of water into myself, and as I stood in the shower I was pleasantly surprised. I didn't much feel like breakfast but I was fairly sure that orange-juice and Nurofen would go down with no trouble. They did, so I shaved carefully and went out. I bought a paper, and drank more orange juice and coffee in VIPs, then carried on down Castellana, the headache tapering off with every stride.

Anita was dealing with a check-out so I waved at her and carried on into the dining-room. Elena was serving croissants and answering a question at the same time; I waved at her too and made coffee signals. She nodded and I glanced through the paper until Anita plucked it out of my hands.

'Alex, you're meant to be passed out still.'

'I have an iron physique, ' I said smugly. She grinned and sat down.

'Poor Pilar was horrified. She called me to say. Did you know you told her that she'd promised to pick you up and you'd been waiting for ages worrying?'

'She must have misunderstood me. How's the new staff?' Anita lowered her voice.

'She got here on time, so I stayed in my room and left her to it till half an hour ago. She's going to have a busy few days till that other one's back on her feet properly though.' As if on cue Elena materialised with a tray.

'Hello, Alex, are you feeling better? Pilar was furious last night.' She seemed altogether too pleased about that.

'She was worried about being late. What about you? Did you get any sleep?' She made a face.

'Not lots, but I will have a nap, a siesta I mean, this afternoon.' A man at the next table caught her eye and she went back to work. I turned back to Anita.

'Seems OK to me, but she'd better not make too many digs about me and Pilar or I'll give her a good spanking.' Anita shook her head.

'She'd only say she deserved it. I'll talk to her and to the sister when I meet her, and when we've turned ourselves into a team things will settle down. It's my hostal now, so stop worrying.'

'OK, Señora jefa. Next subject: how are you?' She smiled.

'Better than I've ever been, and stop fishing.' Pilar chose that moment to arrive and erupted into the dining-room like a small comet.

'How can you be up and about? It's really unfair, I thought you'd be out of it till this evening and I could get all my stuff done.'

'The English are used to hangovers. What are you doing?' A bank-account for Elena and putting some money in it as a starter-pack, shopping, nailing down a schedule for August, introducing Elena and Monica to Federico, the list went on. After a couple of minutes I stopped listening. She noticed immediately and kicked me.

'Of course I was paying attention, dear. Whatever you want me to do. I've had enough of deciding stuff for a while but I'll be your obedient tool.' Lucky that's not ambiguous in Spanish.

'Not today, because I've got it all planned but I'll be dead by this evening. Can we be domestic and boring? Mum's not expecting me.' She was revved up and anxious to be doing things, and she and Elena left to do their chores. Anita began cleaning and the morning drifted on. I went to walk in the Retiro before it got too hot. By twelve o'clock it was, and I was sitting on a terraza practicing doing nothing when my phone rang.

'Alex?'

'Mer, what are you up to?'

'It's a Mercedes day but she's having a quick break. We didn't talk properly yesterday and I forgot to tell you what I'm doing this afternoon. I thought it might cheer you up.

'I can't cheer up too much because I'm pretty good already. What are you doing?' Her voice was gleeful.

'Visiting Uncle Álvaro to introduce myself and make sure he knows what he's in for.' Bad idea.

'Take Agustín with you.'

'Why should I? I can't anyway, seeing as he's with Juan today, frightening someone else.' She sounded eager and excited.

'Mer, I saw him close up at the club and you didn't. The guy's right on the edge, and a good thing too, but if he's tipped over there'll be problems.'

'Oh, pooh to you, ' she said. 'I'm going to have some fun for once. You're the big fun expert, so don't you start telling me what to do. I only called to let you know. Two-thirty I told him, and don't be late or Agustín will pay you a visit.'

'Take it easy, Mer. Don't get all your rocks off in one go or you'll be bored in a month. You sound like a kid in a chocolate shop.' When she spoke again her voice was Mercedes.

'I'm afraid I must go now. I hope the information will improve your afternoon.' She rang off and the back of my head began to worry.

At quarter past two I was loitering in my least-favourite garden in Pio XII, wondering why. She was all grownup, and I was out of this. I hadn't any doubt that she was going to scrape him raw, but I wasn't curious how, and I'd almost convinced myself to leave when the Toyota Landcruiser came round the corner and backed into the drive. Don Álvaro climbed out and walked up to the house. The gates began to close but then re-opened, staying that way, and the street was quiet again.

The insects had found me and I was beginning to fidget when Mercedes' Jaguar drew up. Out she stepped, in full executive costume. Her hair was up in a severe twist and she carried a black leather briefcase. I could hear her heels clicking on the flagstones of the drive. After twenty minutes I couldn't bear it any longer and hopped the wall. As I approached the house I saw that the drive continued up the side, and between garage and wall was a metal gate. It was ajar, and when I pushed it experimentally it swung a little further open. I slipped through and saw a garden and a small patio. A murmur of voices came from the French windows.

' ... So you see, Uncle Álvaro, what goes round comes round. I used to think about you and imagine how I'd make you sorry. Just a young girl's fantasies of course, but now they've all come true. You're stuffed, Uncle Álvaro, totally fucking stuffed.' Silence. 'Well, if you won't talk you can watch. Agustín's already told you why you're going to behave, but I'm going to show you.' There was more silence and then the soundtrack of the first DVD began. I stood against the wall and listened. The recording droned on. Alberto's voice, Elena's, Aurora's, Alberto's again; suddenly it stopped.