Chapter 15

The small stretch of the school year between the Thanksgiving holiday and the Christmas break was not one of my favorite times. People just tried to pack too much into it, and I was too used to the much more laid back Arborian idea of how to conduct a holiday.

There were pageants and plays and dances and committees and every sort of time-waster. I blew off the pageants and plays as I had in previous years. I was polite but firm in my rejection of any and all requests to be on a committee, to participate in any committee-sponsored decorating, door-to-door campaigning, baking, sign painting, poster-placing, or any other activity. I had participated in the past because Teddy had wanted to. This year I had no one to pull me in.

The first thing I had to do when school started was talk to Teddy. It wasn't something I was looking forward to, but I needed to do it, and as had been the case earlier before Thanksgiving, I didn't have to go looking to find her. She was dragging Bianca past me in the hallway five minutes after I walked in the door.

"Teddy," I called out once I'd locked eyes with her. "I need to talk to you." She looked stunned, and took a quick glance at her new girlfriend before returning her gaze to me.

Bianca's jaw dropped as she looked first at me and then at Teddy. "What?" she spat. "No! You have nothing to do with her now, she's mine!"

Teddy eyes flickered briefly towards her new girlfriend, and I saw a small smile flicker in and out of existence for a moment before turning again to look at me. Less of a staring gaze this time, but intent and utterly flat, to match the rest of her expression. "alright, you need to talk, lets talk."

"After school. Alone." I didn't phrase it as a suggestion, but Teddy wasn't accepting it.

"No. After school is fine, but Bianca will be with me. We can meet at my house. You can bring anyone you want."

"Will your mom be home?" I hoped she would, but knew it wasn't likely. I didn't even wonder about her Dad. He was never home before dinner time, and they always ate later in the evening than I was used to.

"No."

"Alright," I agreed and turned to head towards my next class. Bianca started to say something but Teddy took off in the other direction, yanking Bianca along by the arm. I really would have to find someone to take with me. There was no way I was going to Teddy's house alone.

I didn't have to go hunting for a solution to my dilemma, a solution came to me. The fact that our little conversation had taken place in front of plenty of witnesses had not escaped me, and based on the whispers and glances I got the rest of the morning, the gossip had spread quickly. With my new sensitivity, and my emotional barriers down, I realized that Teddy and I seemed to have the student body pretty evenly split, when it came to who they sympathized with. I quietly took that as a moral victory.

My answer found me during lunch, something I seldom ate at school, but which I had decided was the safest course for me today. I grabbed a slice of pizza and an orange from the food court and headed outside to eat, safely ensconced on a bench, and mercifully alone. Well, for a moment at least. I had barely put a dent in the slice of pizza when Ben and Kristina plopped down beside me.

"Interesting day for you, I hear," Ben began.

"No doubt about that, I guess," I said with a snort. "Even before the gossip mill got a grip on it."

"I don't know, they seem to be doing a pretty good job so far of getting the actual facts of this morning straight. The speculation about the before and after is where they're getting creative," Kristina chuckled."

"Bear crap!" I muttered.

"You have the most interesting swear words, did I ever tell you that?" Ben laughed. "Anyway, the after is why Kris and I are here. We hear you might need someone to tag along with you after school."

"Yes, I do, but God! Anyone but you Ben, are you trying to get me killed?"

"No, not me," Ben interrupted.

"Me!" Kristina added. "There's no way that Teddy could ever accuse me of favoritism, except perhaps in her favor."

"You'd do that for me?" I asked, surprised. Ben had never held my insanity against me, and Kristina had always been kind and friendly, but this seemed to go above and beyond the call.

"Of course," They managed to say together. We all three laughed at that, and then something in the previous moment replayed itself in my head. I looked at Ben and raised an eyebrow. "Kris?"

"Yeah," he blushed. "She likes it when I call her that."

"weird," I shook my head, over the thought of it.

"What?" Ben asked.

"My new boyfriend," I grinned. "His name is Chris."

"Ah!" from Ben. "Oh!" from Kris. "What?" Ben asked Kris.

"The new boyfriend must've shaken something up."

"He did," I admitted. "He wouldn't quite take the deal. The one I offered you and Teddy. Not only that, but he got me to see that I was very wrong to approach it as I did, and worse, to ask you both to take that deal without offering any emotional commitment on my part."

"Ahh!" Kris cooed. "Ben, she's going to apologize to her."

I looked around quickly, though I already knew we were alone and no one had overheard. Automatic behavior intended as window dressing for the secrets I carried. I didn't even have to think about doing it. Kris saw it though, and interpreted it correctly.

"Oh, sorry. We wouldn't want anyone to know that before you have your chance to actually do it, do we?"

"No, we don't and thank you. I would love to have you be my witness for this."

"So that's what I'll be then, your witness?"

"I guess. I assume that's what Teddy was thinking when she said I could bring someone along. I doubt she was thinking I needed a bodyguard."

"Will you?" Ben asked.

"No. I'm my own bodyguard. You don't grow up as a McKesson without getting lots of training in self defense. Its been that way since at least my great grandpa Dave's time."

"Have you been doing it for a long time?" Kris asked.

"I've been in classes or private lessons since I was three."

"Damn!" Ben said with a laugh. "Good thing I never tried anything with you, huh?"

"Oh, I dunno, it would've depended on what you tried. I was interested in you then, if you remember. That was the problem, I was interested in both of you."

"And that's why I'm not waiting for an apology of my own," Ben said with some sudden seriousness. "When you started this, it was a way to keep from having to choose between the two of us. You couldn't commit to one of us then. Once I'd found Kris and we went our separate ways, you owed Teddy something, but you didn't change the deal."

"No, I didn't, and I had my reasons, but Chris showed me that they were the wrong reasons."

"He sounds like a good guy, I hope I get a chance to meet him."

I was saved by the bell at that point, I didn't have to provide any more details about Chris. As we hustled back in for our next class, I arranged for Kris to meet me in the back parking lot as soon as school was out.

I expected something of a blowout at the Sevilles, but what I got would have been anticlimactic, if it hadn't been such a relief. Kris and I were let in by the lovely and vicious looking Bianca. Teddy was sitting in her Dad's favorite chair and I could smell the cinnamon and nutmeg of the large mug of eggnog she had beside her. I was pretty sure the eggnog had a little more Christmas cheer in it than she would normally be allowed. I nodded in her direction as soon as I saw her and she gave a brief nod in return, then stood.

I walked across the room like I was Sisyphus and that room was the last few feet before the top of the hill. Unlike the mythological king's punishment, I was not playing out a pointless task, and those steps may have seemed as if they each took a long while, but this was no interminable task either. I kept those beliefs as the anchor to which my emotional state of mind was fastened as I stopped an arm's length away.