Chapter 72: More on Carol's Lesbianism Plan

Monday, April 18, 2005 (Continued)

Carol and Donna soon joined us. Immediately Mom said, "That's a nice dress, Carol." Which made Donna puff up with pride.

That resulted in a female clothing conversation. I won't bother recording it here because it was a female clothing conversation.

When it was finished, Carol said, "Mom, I'm not learning about household stuff fast enough. Cooking, raising babies, and all those sorts of things. Can you help me learn more please, like getting me to work on dinner tonight?

Mom said, "Sure, sweetie. I'm happy to teach you, but you don't need to be in such a rush. You've only been married four days and you can't learn everything at once. You've got plenty of time."

Carol disagreed, "Most girls know far more than I do when they get married."

"That's true, but it's also true that most girls are a LOT older than thirteen when they get married. You've got years more time before you catch up to them."

"Except that I want babies as soon as I can be a good mother. I REALLY want to have his babies, Mom. There's SO much I have to learn. I don't even know how to cook a whole roast chicken dinner properly yet."

Mom smiled, "I don't think cooking a roast chicken has much to do with having babies. Of the two, I would MUCH rather spend the next few years showing you how to cook than how to raise babies. You know that you CAN'T have babies yet, don't you? There'd be all sorts of nasty legal problems. You have to wait until you're eighteen."

"Unless Mark goes to a college in a state or country that has sixteen as the age of consent. Sixteen is a very common age around the world, it's just Oregon and a few other states that are stuck on eighteen."

"You've been researching this?"

"I think about it a LOT, Mom. I want his babies, probably starting in two years and nine months. You won't mind being a grandmother at thirty eight will you?"

"You evil little girl. I'll 'grandmother' you! Get in here and peel these potatoes."

"Yes, Granny."

"Try that on your dad, he might appreciate it more than I do. If you're really that impatient, then I hope you're not TOO impatient. No accidents between now and when you're at least sixteen, please, honey. That would be bad."

"My period should start in just over a week. I'll be going on the pill then. I do intend to take them properly because I know I'm not ready to be a mother yet."

Mom said, "Yes, that's right: you're not ready. You also said your period 'should' start. I'm guessing that means you are playing dangerous games. Your impatience will hurt your baby's life if you're too young to raise him or her properly. You have to control yourself better, sweetie, no matter how good it feels now. You're not supposed to be having sex at all, but if you do for God's sake - and your baby's sake - use protection until you're old enough."

"Umm, yes Mom. Sorry."

"Good. You'll be a wonderful mother one day, but it's not yet.

^-- "And now for you, Mark! Don't think I've forgotten you. I'm even less impressed by your misbehavior. You are mostly to blame for this, and you better pull up your socks. Your father and I will be extremely unhappy if your stupidity lands us all in trouble in a few months."

#1: <Why are we mostly to blame? That doesn't seem fair.>

#2: <If you ask Mom that question then you're even stupider than I thought.>

#1: <I'm exactly as smart as you!>

#2: <Not if you ask that question you're not. Seriously, just bend over and take it. It's not as if we're blameless, is it?>

Long story short, I 'bent over and took it'. I'll skip the details. Carol and I promised to be good.

Julia told Carol, "You can spend time with me, sweetie. I'll take your edge off as often as you want."

Which did absolutely nothing for me. Mom must have seen my expression because she said, "For goodness sake, Mark, they'll give you blowjobs ten times a day if you want them to. Most guys would kill for the setup you've got, so stop feeling sorry for yourself."

Mom's argument had some merit - perhaps more than "some" - so I decided to cheer up. Time to change the subject and I had a couple of little things to follow up on. "Okay, Mom. I guess I can survive on blowjobs for a week or two."

Mom said, "Actually we didn't really want you to do even that. Remember the rule about no sex included no genital contact. I'd FAR rather you got blowjobs than got Carol pregnant, but if you can please try to survive on cold showers instead. Go for a run with Donna or something. On second thought, you'd better not take Donna, with the way she's been feeling about you recently. Everyone in this family needs more cold showers. Even I'm getting affected from the atmosphere around the house these days."

It was DEFINITELY time to change the subject! "Okay, okay. Please, no more information. I was going to say that I'm booked in at the DMV tomorrow afternoon. I'll skip the last couple of classes and go to the DMV. Dad's meeting me there. All going well, I'll have my license about the time school lets out tomorrow." One of the amusing consequences of being an apparent genius is that I can tell Mom I'm skipping classes and it goes completely without comment.

Everyone was pleased and congratulated me. Prematurely again, but I put up with their votes of confidence.

Julia said, "Great. You can come over and pick up the car in the evening. I know Dad wants to talk with you about your business idea anyway. Dad will also make you take him for a drive before you're allowed to drive me. He's very protective that way. You'll get another safety lecture too. Make sure you don't start the car until everyone's seatbelt is on, as Dad's bound to try to trap you with that."

Donna said, "I've got most of the money already. From that thing I did that I am never, ever going to do ever again." Donna was looking at Mom when she said that. "The guy who owes me $600 hasn't paid yet though."

Mom said, "I'll call him after dinner. I gave him four days, which is until about 10am on Wednesday, but I'll give him a halfway reminder anyway."

Donna continued, "So I should have all the money very soon. Can you not buy a car until then please. I'd really like to give all of it to you in one lump because that'll be more money than I've ever seen, and it'll be so cool to give it to you."

Which was wonderfully unselfish of her. When I'd been her age, and a few other ages too, if I'd had more money than I'd ever seen before in my hand, I would've been very reluctant to part with it. Not only wasn't Donna reluctant, she was looking forward to it.

I had an idea for what I wanted to do with that money and it wasn't to buy a car, so I said, "Donna, if it's okay with you I want to do something just a little different with that money. I think Julia and I can share her car quite easily. We'll start off doing that anyway, and see how it goes. Instead I want to use that money to buy a different form of transportation. Not a car, but something else. Is that okay with you?"

"What do you want to buy?" I could see that Donna wasn't the only person interested in that question.

"I want to keep it secret for now. Sorry about that, but I'm sure you'll be happy. It'll probably be a few weeks, maybe even a few months, but hopefully not too long. Please? I really want to do it my way"

Donna didn't look happy at this development.

Mom said, "Donna, if you give Mark a gift of money, it's up to him how he spends it. If he's found something he'd prefer more than a car then YOU should be happier because he's happier."

Donna begrudgingly gave in, "I guess so. But waiting months is so long."

All of us tried to cheer Donna up, but she wouldn't get any happier than indicated by her "I guess so." I felt bad because I'd screwed things up. Even if I bought a car now she wouldn't be as happy about it as she would have been without my opening my mouth. And I didn't want to buy a cheap car. I wanted to buy a good, reliable car with the casino money, and use this money to buy a horse for Donna once we had the new house because it should have a large enough property to hold a horse.

After another couple of minutes of unsuccessfully trying to cheer Donna up, Julia whispered to me, "Change the subject."

I had another subject I wanted to ask about, so I asked, "Carol. When we were talking in your room you mentioned something about a guy who sits behind you in class that you wanted me to kill."

Carol and Mom were side by side preparing dinner, and it was Mom that first answered, "Oh?" I guess that'd gotten her attention. Hopefully it'd been dramatic enough to get Donna's attention too.

Carol said, "Relax, Mom. Killing him would only be as a last resort. It's just a guy who keeps pulling my hair, bumping into me and that sort of thing. He just does it most days and it annoys me a lot. He won't stop."

#2: <Yep, killing him would be the last resort. Lots of torture first, THEN kill him.>

Julia said, "I can help you with this. There's no need to kill the boy yet. For years every boy I've met has been larger than me so I've learned some very good verbal put-downs. The ones I told you when we were shopping aren't harsh enough for this guy, so I'll teach you some more. Don't worry, taking care of a 13-year old boy should be easy. I'll tell you them when we're in bed tonight. My mom said your mom called to ask about that. You're still coming over, aren't you?"

I liked what Carol did next. She looked to me for permission. Me, not Mom. That was pretty cool.

I, of course, looked to Mom, who said, "Sure. Nothing's changed since I talked to Vanessa. Steven or I will take you both whenever you want to leave."

I suddenly remembered another topic, "Mom, I just found out today about the quality of my running race opponents. Was there a bit of a circus after the race? Because I didn't see much of one."

Mom chuckled, "There certainly was. The phone was ringing off the hook. We actually left it off the hook most of Sunday, otherwise you wouldn't have gotten the fence painted. You went out with Steven for a driving lesson right after we got back from the race, remember?"

"Yes."

"That was a smart move for you two because I spent the next few hours mostly on the phone. Me and Donna anyway, as half the time it was her friends calling her to talk about it. Remember that I had a big stack of messages for you when you got back, and you told me to discard them?"

I nodded

"I'd guessed you wouldn't be interested, but after that I was able to make the phone conversations MUCH shorter. Your being a minor meant I could put my foot down heavily and they knew it. I was quite abusive to some of them when I warned them what would happen if they harassed you. I quite enjoyed myself, except for there being too much of it. They got the message that you weren't interested. Your no-show at the prize-giving helped with that too."

^-- Mom then added, "You know, I'm suddenly in the mood to call the guy that owes Donna the $600. I think I'll do that now. Hopefully I'll interrupt his dinner."

Mom made the call, and we all got to hear it. We could easily tell that it was his wife that answered the phone. Mom soon found out that Mrs. Welcher had no idea about the $600 betting loss, and Mom quickly told her, making great emphasis about his trying to take advantage of a 12-year old girl by getting her to increase her bet fourfold. Mom got put on hold while there was a small family conference at the other end. After a couple of minutes the woman told Mom a few things, then they hung up.

Mom said, "He's going to an ATM, then coming here. Who wants the pleasure of taking the money out of his hand?"

I sure didn't. Fortunately Donna quickly volunteered, saying, "No one likes him. It'll be fun to look at his face when he hands it over. Can I make him count it?"

Mom said, "Good thinking. You should never trust gamblers."

Dad came home shortly after that, which made me happy because that meant I didn't have to stay around when the sore loser arrived. I'd been thinking that I should, as a "protect the womenfolk" thing. Dad's arrival gave me a chance to ask Carol and Julia to come to my room for a chat. I wanted to start the discussion about Carol's lesbian plan. It was probably going to be a long discussion and I wanted to get as much of it as possible done before they went to Julia's.

Carol asked Mom, "Can I leave the rest of the dinner preparation to you please?"

"I've managed for twenty years, so I should be fine."

In my room I sat on my bed, and motioned for the girls to do likewise. Before I had a chance to say anything about the meeting's purpose Carol leaned forward and unzipped my pants. That was not what you expect to happen at a meeting to discuss the girl's coming out as a lesbian!

I stopped Carol, and she said, "Aww, don't you want a blowjob?"

I did now! Carol must have thought that's what the 'meeting' was for: me wanting a blowjob from my two girls as per Mom's suggestion. I was tempted, but the lesbian discussion was weighing on my mind and I wanted to address it. I was also very pleased that Mom hadn't warned, "No blowjobs!" when I asked took the girls to my bedroom, because surely Mom would have leaped to the same conclusion as Carol. Her silence was almost as good as giving us permission, even though it was against the no-sex rule. But the lesbian thing was worrying me, so I said, "Sorry. I appreciate your intention, but that's not why I wanted to have this discussion. We'll do that another time. We will DEFINITELY do that another time. I wanted to come in here to talk about your coming out as a lesbian."

"Oh, okay. What do you want to say?"

"Um. Actually I was expecting you to do most of the talking. We need to go through all the pros and cons."

"We do? Why?"

"Um, so we can decide what to do?"

"I thought we'd just start telling people. Why? Do you think we need to announce it in some way?"

"That's not what I mean. I mean we need to decide whether you should come out at all?"

"Oh. I thought we already decided that. Julia said it was a good idea, and obviously I think it is because it was my idea. I thought you agreed with it too because you didn't object when we mentioned it in my room half an hour ago."

I said, "Honey, I don't even know WHY you want to do it, let alone whether I think it's a good idea or not."

"Oh. Sorry. I thought I explained that when we were waiting for the car. It'll make things easier. I can hold your arm affectionately if people know I'm a lesbian. If they don't know, we can soon tell them. Julia and I will be able to be affectionate in public, including holding hands and kissing on the lips, which I'm looking forward to being able to do. It'll stop so many boys wasting my time by their trying to pick me up, and will mean more girls will try instead. And my last reason was for the future, that when you go to a college your lesbian sister can live with you and your girlfriend without people getting too suspicious. There are probably other advantages, but those are the ones that I can think of. It seems like a good idea to me."

I looked at Julia. Julia is very good at understanding lots of details about things like this, so I was sure she would have some good points. All Julia said was, "I still agree it's a good idea. Nothing's changed."

"You don't want to discuss any of Carol's points in detail?"

Julia said, "No, they all sound fine to me. I'm looking forward to being affectionate with Carol in public too. That will be nice. The Principal is going to have a fit though. The school tolerates some kissing, so it's an established precedent. They won't be able to object to our kissing because it illegal to discriminate against lesbians. If they suddenly started trying to stop kissing totally it'd obviously be using a sledgehammer to crack a nut, not that lesbians have nuts, haha. Our parents certainly won't give the school permission to try to stop us. Quite the reverse, since our parents will defend us. Plus this whole thing involves you and your family, which the school is already in legal trouble with, so I think they'll tread very carefully."

I didn't like the idea of another battle, and the Principal has been a good guy recently, so I suggested, "Maybe you girls shouldn't be very affectionate at school. Maybe we should keep it low key there?"

Julia said, "School is where we should be the MOST affectionate. That's where most of Carol's reasons apply, and where we want as many people as possible to see it, and for them to be strongly convinced. Also, nearly all our time in public is at the school. If you excluded that, there'd be almost no other public time left. Carol HAS to be a lesbian at school, or the whole idea becomes ineffective and worthless. Don't worry about the Principal. He won't have a chance and he'll know it. We've got the rest of this year, and another whole year at this school. Getting the benefits from all of Carol's reasons for that long more than justifies a short-lived skirmish."

So much for my concerns for the Principal. I still wasn't comfortable though. I was still struggling to find arguments against it when Julia said, "I don't understand why you are so hesitant. It seems like a very straightforward, good idea to me. It'll easily achieve all the objectives Carol listed, plus you think we're hot when were kissing each other so you should enjoy yourself."

I tried, "I'm not sure it'll reduce the time Carol wastes with boys. Some guys will get turned on that she's a lesbian and will try to chase her."

Julia answered, "That's probably true, guys being the illogical creatures they are."

I started objecting, but Julia answered me before I had a chance to speak. "Come on, Mark! By your own admission MORE guys will chase Carol when they believe she's a lesbian, but being a lesbian means she doesn't want boys, so their actions are as illogical as it's possible to get!"

^-- Julia paused, to give me time to refute her, or perhaps to enjoy her victory, then she continued, "Carol will suffer some increased attention, but she can quickly stop that. If a guy makes a pass at Carol she just answers very loudly, 'You've got to be joking! You've got the reputation of being useless with girls. I've got a girlfriend who can pleasure me better with her little finger than all the stories say about you. Her little finger's probably bigger than your dick too.' By the time she's loudly announced a few put-downs like that, guys will be afraid to go near her."

Just imagining her saying that killed every sexy feeling I had! Carol had a good laugh though, then said, "That's SO much better than what I was thinking of saying. I was just going to tell them I was a lesbian. Mine's totally lame next to yours. Yours is wicked!"

Julia said, "Yeah. You're a lovely person but you're a bit too passive. I'll teach you some good techniques for putting guys down. Loudly ridiculing their penis is always a favorite. Start with a polite refusal, but be ready to ramp it up. Just make sure you shame them rather than anger them, and you do it very loudly if they don't get the message fast enough. I'll talk with you more about that tonight."

Julia turned to me. "So, Mark, there might be a few hassles but it'll amount to little, and it'll save us more hassles in the long run. Saving the time guys waste is the least of Carol's points. Most guys are a minor nuisance that can be got rid of without even breaking stride. Don't worry about that point of Carol's. It's not important."

I thought through Carol's points again:

• "She can hold my arm easier." Probably true, or she could hold Julia's instead.

• "Carol and Julia could be affectionate in public." Just try to stop them! I had no doubt Julia would overdo the PDAs.

• "Reduce boy pickups, increase girl pickups." The boys had been dealt with, but there was a problem with the girls.

I asked, "Why do you want more girls to pick you up, Carol? I thought you were happy with Julia?"

Both Carol and Julia laughed. That was never a good sign.

Julia answered first, "They're not for her; they're for you."

"But they'll be lesbians. That's the same amount of illogic as boys chasing Carol because she's a lesbian."

"Some might be hard-core lesbians, but the majority will be bi."

"But how could Carol tell? She could waste a lot of time of a girl who turns out to be a lesbian."

Both Carol and Julia laughed. You know what that means by now.

Julia said, "One possibility that might just work would be to ask, 'What do you think of my brother?' The girls whose legs shake and start panting are probably not hard-core lesbians."

Carol said, "My idea was to ask, 'Would you like to meet my brother?' Any that knocked me over in their rush probably wouldn't be hard-core lesbians, haha."

Julia said, "Very good, sweetie. I see we're on the same wavelength. Mark, it's easy. Imagine a girl approaches Carol and makes a pass of some sort. Asks Carol on any sort of date, to the movies or whatever. All Carol has to say is, 'I have to meet my brother first. Would you like to come and meet him?' Within ten seconds of the girl first making a pass at Carol, Carol will know whether she's lesbian or bi. I wouldn't be surprised if purely straight girls also make passes at Carol as a way of getting to meet you."

Carol laughed at that, saying, "I think I might be a busy girl. My love-life is going to get very strange: straight, bi and lesbian girls, my brother and possibly even my sister in a year or so. What a strange life!"

Julia said, "Yeah. You should probably give your vibrator to Donna. You're not going to need it and she's going to be desperate as a result of all the sex going on around her, the poor girl."