Chapter 55: More About Carol

Friday, April 15, 2005 (Continued)

I had finished my breakfast, and there was a beautiful, naked girl lying on the bed. My priorities were clear. I went back to the bed and cuddled with Carol. She was happy just to lie quietly.

When we were comfortable together Carol said, "Thank you for loving me so much, Mark."

I had a momentary panic that she'd overheard some of my conversation with Julia, so I asked, "What did I do to deserve such a warm thank you?"

"Most recently, letting me get myself off on top of you. I REALLY needed that! But mostly for being so good for me. Letting me love you and Julia, letting me serve you, caring for me and keeping me safe. There's so much you do for me, like what just happened downstairs. I LOVED it! It was fantastic and I owe it to you.

^-- "I owe Vanessa and the others too, but everything they're doing to make me happy they're really doing for you. I'm so thankful that their opinion of you is so high that they're willing to do so much for me. It can't have been easy for them to let me marry you and Julia the way we did because that means Julia will never marry you normally, which must break Vanessa's heart. They're giving up a lot for me, all because of you. You have made my life so full of happiness I want to burst. I love you my brother, my lover, my husband, my Lord. I will be with you for the rest of our lives."

Carol burst into tears and sobbed into my chest. And me without a handkerchief again. On the other hand, what did a little more liquid on me matter, compared to what had already been smeared over me. It would probably make me cleaner.

When she'd had a good cry, I said, "I love you too, you know?"

"Yes, I know. Both you and Julia do. More than I deserve."

^-- I was obviously going to argue with that, but Carol didn't let me. She insisted, "Please! I know I'm right. You two do many things for me. I know both of you spent a long time planning how to get me to join you. Last night you made a comment about planning to win my college fund from a casino. You'd already thought about that and planned to do it, even though that was years away. You care about me enough to think that far ahead and plan to help me with something that you thought was important to me. Julia's taking me shopping tomorrow and we're going to spend a lot of money to make me happy, although we're going to get lots of sexy clothes to make you happy too.

^-- "Prof has several times said they'll get another computer for me if I want one. I just have to ask and it'll be done, even though Mom and Dad have objected. Julia even got off your cock because she could see that I wanted it the most. How's that for being generous! It goes on forever. But there's almost nothing I can do for you in return. I can give you my body but you make it feel so good I should owe you even more. I know love isn't about 'owing', but there's so little I can give you. I'm still too young to help you as much as I want to. Julia is only three years older than me, but I cannot imagine that I will ever be as good at helping you as she is. She's very clever, isn't she?"

"She certainly is, and her whole family is very impressive. But I don't want you to grow up to be like Julia, whether in three years or thirty years. I already have Julia to do the Julia-type things. I want a Carol that does Carol-type things. There are things you can do for me that she can't, or that I don't want her to. The biggest is my wanting you to be the mother of my babies. I want them with you. That's a strong feeling in me.

^-- "My feelings for you are hard to put into words, but they're very strong. I know that if I had to choose to have only one of you two, I'd immediately choose you. I don't even know why, but I know my feelings are certain. The strength of my feelings for you proves that you MUST be giving me something. I don't know what that something is - 'just being Carol' maybe - but whatever it is, it's so strong it more than settles anything you think you owe me."

Carol, teary eyed again, said, "Julia keeps telling me you love me more than her. She doesn't seem upset at all, which proves how special SHE is. You also say you prefer me. I have to believe you, but I don't understand why?"

"I'm sorry that I can't explain why either. Something about your personality obviously, but that's a non-answer. I don't understand what, but that doesn't make it any less true. If you'll forgive the comparison, I don't understand why I like roast chicken so much, but I know I do. That I can't explain my preference doesn't make my reasons any weaker. I know how much I love you, and that's all I need to know.

^-- "Can I change the subject a bit, and ask about something you mentioned earlier?"

"Of course, my Lord."

"Haha. I get your little dig. I'm not a very bossy Lord, am I?"

"No, but Julia and I will teach you to be. Before you woke up she told me that's one of the reasons we're going to get more girls for you to play with, so you'll learn to be more commanding. She says you are too passive with people you love, so maybe you'll learn faster with other people."

"She's never mentioned that to me, but somehow I'm not surprised she has multiple reasons. I must admit that I'm looking forward to playing with a few extra girls myself. But what I wanted to ask you about is that you said that 'you loved what happened to you downstairs', and that 'it was fantastic'. I thought you found it terribly embarrassing?"

"Yes to all of those emotions. That's why I appreciate you and Julia's putting me into embarrassing situations so much. Or at least threatening to. Being ordered into a sexually embarrassing situation is very exciting for me, as EVERYONE in this family now knows, after they all saw how wet my pussy was. Which just made it even wetter. It was WONDERFUL!"

"I can't imagine how you can find embarrassment arousing."

Carol's answer was an immediate, "I can't imagine how you can love me more than Julia."

"Haha. Good answer. There are lots of things I don't understand about people, especially females. Do you understand it yourself?"

Carol replied, "No, not really. It's got a lot to do with respecting you and Julia though. Julia understands it better than me, so ask her if you want to know."

"Don't you want to know about it yourself?"

"Not really. I don't need to. Julia does and you will, which is all that matters. I know the effect it has on me. I could hardly not notice how aroused I get when I follow Julia's or your orders. Especially your orders, although you don't order me around enough. I know that Julia could easily have asked me to make breakfast this morning, but she deliberately tricked me. I don't blame her for that; I thank her! It was wonderful. You don't need to understand why you like roast chicken do you? You like it anyway."

"Very true."

Carol said, "There's one important thing I want to tell you though. I began obeying Julia because I thought she was a wonderful person, and then I saw that she understood me and gave me what I wanted and needed. In a way that showed that she cared and was careful. I fell in love with her for those reasons. I began obeying you for the same reasons too, because you've been an exceptionally nice and caring person the last year or so, and because with Julia helping you, you were starting to know how to handle me. But I'm obeying you now for an even stronger reason: out of awe.

^-- "Julia is right that you're miraculous. When I obey Julia it's a game that we both know and enjoy, but obeying you is not a game. Julia had it right in our wedding vows: my needs are irrelevant compared to yours. If Julia told me to do something that I disagreed with, I'd question her about it and possibly refuse, but I won't do that with you. You are my Lord so I will obey you in all things. This is nothing to do with me getting sexual fun; this is about every part of my life, about ALL of my life. I am entirely yours. That's what my vows were all about and that's what I want for my life."

"Wow. You've been doing some heavy thinking..."

"It wasn't hard. I've been thinking about it for a few days and seeing you fly things through the air made me understand why Julia kept saying how important you are. 'My brother is superhuman.' That's a bizarre thing to say, but it's totally true. Serving you is the best way I could spend my life, although there's almost nothing I can do for you."

I ignored her last sentiment, instead triple-checking something, "If I said, 'Get lost', or 'Go jump in the lake', or some other figure of speech like those, you wouldn't do it, would you?"

"Not unless you wanted me to. Sometimes you're very silly, you know? Julia and I laughed about your going to sleep last night. Whoever heard of a superhero with the magical ability of falling asleep instantly?"

I answered, "Whoever heard of a superhero who lets himself be teased mercilessly by two cheeky girls? Don't tell anyone please, or none of the other superheroes will let me play with them."

^-- As often happens with me, one of my other minds thought of another answer, so I added, "Anyway, I'll have you know that my falling asleep is completely consistent with my other super-abilities. Every superhero has a theme. Some are super-stretchy, others have fire abilities or are super-strong. I am super at everything to do with beds. I'm Super-BedMan!"

"Haha. You certainly are. It's so good to know that I am dedicating my life to Super-BedMan. Now I feel very noble about my self-sacrifice."

"It's a good thing I'm not Super-SnotMan, isn't it?"

"Eww, gross! You'd be on your own if you were. Julia and I wouldn't have vowed to lay down our lives to save a big pile of snot. Yuck! You've ruined my dream of saving your life."

"Why would you dream about that? I know Julia made it part of your vows but there are much more pleasant things to think about."

Carol laughed. "I'd LOVE to sacrifice my life to save yours. I can't stop thinking about it since we talked about how dangerous your life could be yesterday."

"Why ON EARTH would you be excited about that? That's insane. Sorry, but it is."

"No it's not. It's the best thing that could ever happen to me. My life means nothing compared to how important your life is, but if I died saving your life, then my life has been worth yours. I would die the happiest person ever."

Bizarrely, Carol REALLY meant it. She was sitting up with pride, looking me in the eyes while tears ran down her cheeks. She was proud of herself for being insane!

#1: <Would all of you please make a mental note to avoid getting ourselves killed anywhere near Carol.>

I couldn't think of anything helpful to say, so I just put my arms around her and held her. Carol put her cheek against mine and I could feel her tears running down.

After a while, "Make love to me please, Mark."

That was much better than saying, "There, there," but I'd noticed earlier that when she'd walked across the room she'd still been sore, and I'd not had a chance to talk about it yet. Now was a very appropriate time, so I asked her, "Are you not too sore?"

"I am, but not too bad. If you go slow I should be fine, and I want to while we can because of the 3 o'clock deadline."

I remembered my lesson from the "Gun Incident" about incorrectly imposing my judgment about other people's bodies on them, so I did exactly what Carol wanted: made slow, gentle, caring love with her. None of the usual rough stuff, just as much love as I could show her.

We were only midway through when a smiling Julia came back. I felt embarrassed to do so, but I immediately asked her to wait for me downstairs. Thankfully she didn't say even one word, just turned around and left the room. Not just "the room", but "her room."

When the door closed behind Julia, Carol said, "Thank you."

"This is for us, and this is for you," as I kissed her again.

I gave Carol my total attention. I was still new to her body and didn't know how to arouse it as well as I did Julia's, but I was determined to give her the best time I could. She was willing to give her life for me, so the least I could do was do my best to show her how much I appreciated her generous insanity.

We finished about half an hour after Julia had left us, and I immediately felt guilty about leaving her downstairs. I moved Carol's breakfast to the closest bedside table, kissed her on the cheek, and told her I'd go check that Julia was okay.

Carol gave a small laugh, and said, "Of course she's okay. She'll be pleased."

I made a mental note not to have serious conversations with Carol soon after sex because she doesn't think very clearly then. I left her in the bed and put my robe on. Unlike some people in this house, I do NOT walk around naked! Then I went to find out how much apologizing I had to do to Julia.

As it turned out, none.

I found her cutting up some vegetables in the kitchen. I sheepishly approached her and started apologizing for rejecting her presence, but she spoke over top of me, "There's no need to apologize. I'm very happy with you."

She obviously didn't understand what I was intending to apologize for, so I explained it to her. "I wanted to apologize for asking you to leave your own room; for not letting you join in with Carol and me."

"Yes, I know. There's no need to. I was more than happy to leave. Thank you for telling me to."

I suddenly recalled Carol's comment, so I asked, "Would it be accurate to say that you are pleased?"

"Exactly right. Well done."

For a second I was tempted to accept the praise by saying say nothing, but I did need to understand this stuff. The last thing I need is for the girls to get jealous of each other so the more I learn about it the better. So, "Ahh, it was Carol who said you'd be pleased. I don't understand why. Can you explain it to me, please?"

"Of course, my Lord. It's quite simple..."

#1: <Oh no!>

" ... You clearly gave me a command. You obviously wanted me to leave and you ordered me to, so I did. You don't give us nearly enough commands, so I was pleased that you're starting to."

#1: <Warning! I understood that and it even seemed simple, so we must be missing something critical.>

I said, "Okay. I accept that you are happy to see me give more commands, but what about that particular command? Didn't it make you upset that I didn't want you to join in with Carol and me?"

"Quite the opposite. You were doing something to make Carol happy that you thought would be best done alone, which was very sweet of you. Now you're down here begging me to forgive you for it. How could I possibly be upset? You've nothing to apologize for; you had a good reason and I trust your good intentions. Don't worry about it."

"How do you know it was me wanting to make Carol happy? Maybe she was making me happy and I didn't want to share that."

"Have you ever met you? If you had, you'd know that was absurd. You're not capable of that. That was just a typical male thing to say: logical but ridiculous."

#3: <The opposite of female comments: illogical, but when you FINALLY understand them, usually making very good sense, although it's usually impossible to know why.>

I said, "You know me too well. Carol was very nice to me, and we got into a very loving mood where I tried my best to thank her for it. But I still feel guilty about not letting you join in with our sex. It seems selfish."

Julia said, "You were giving her a personal gift. There's bound to be many occasions when you do things for us individually, so unless you want to spend half your life apologizing to the other one you'll have to realize that we're both very happy that you like giving so much. Carol and I are very different people so treating us identically won't work. Putting it in a more masculine way, it's not as if I expect to be with you every time you have sex with someone, nor you always with me when Carol and I are alone together. There's going to be a delightfully but ridiculously large amount of sex in our marriage, so we should learn to be tolerant about it, and certainly not possessive. I'm going to be spending some VERY high quality, one-on-one time with Carol very soon. Should I feel guilty about excluding you from that, or do you want to join us?"

"That sounds great. What are we going to be doing?"

"Spending ALL DAY clothes shopping. It'll be wonderful and you're welcome to join us."

"Oops, you got me good that time! You've taught me a good lesson: NEVER apologize. It's too dangerous!"

Julia said, "It wasn't a complete joke. Carol and I are going to be spending a lot of time together tomorrow. It'll be good fun and good for our relationship. Should I feel guilty that you're not going to be with us? Obviously not, because we'll be doing something that's best done with just the two of us. Same with what you were doing with her a few minutes ago. I love you for loving her."

^-- "Here's an idea, Mark. Rather than you apologizing all the time, why not just assume everything you do is fine. If you do somehow upset me, I'll tell you about it, and THEN you can apologize. How does that sound? It should save you a lot of time and worry."

"That sounds like a typical male idea; which as you know, is not a compliment. I am honestly trying to be less apologetic, but I can't instantly change that much. I think I've improved, but I'd prefer to err on the side of being too apologetic than too little. I don't like people who think they're always right."

Reassured that all was well relationship-wise, I turned to my other high-priority interest. "Why are you cutting up vegetables? Are you going to cook something for me?"

Julia laughed, "I'm making some vegetable soup for OUR lunch. Not just for you. Have you noticed that when it comes to food you are very selfish, and you NEVER apologize for it."

"People make food for me to eat, and I eat a lot of it. There's nothing to apologize for; that's the way the system should work. Having established that fact, please tell me about your mom's opinion of Carol?"

"It went exactly as I thought, which is claiming too much credit for myself as most of my thinking came from Mom in the first place. Carol is as Mom and I thought. I'd told Mom about Carol's getting a sexual kick out of being embarrassed, but this morning's test wasn't just about sex. Mostly Mom used it to get Carol off balance so Carol would answer Mom's questions more honestly, especially about her willingness to hand over responsibility for her life to us." Julia looked around and said, "I'd better close the door."

^-- After doing so, Julia continued, "The most important part of Carol's personality is her overall subservience. She wants us to take responsibility for her, and we should because she's not good at making her own decisions and is too vulnerable. Her sexual thrill from being embarrassed isn't important, as whatever Carol likes we'll provide for her, just as you and I do for each other. Hers just happens to be embarrassment and some pain when she's very turned on. Mom and Dad say those two things are rolled up together psychologically and quite common. It's her general submissiveness that's extreme, even detrimentally so in terms of her ability to succeed at life. Mom and Dad are going to talk with your parents about her soon, probably tonight."

#1: <Uh oh. I don't know what to think about that. I half want to start running for cover now, and half want to be involved in the conversation to make sure they make the right decision for her.>

"Ahh, honey, should we be part of that conversation? I'm scared of it, but I want to be there if Carol's fate is being decided. I REALLY don't want to lose her, for lots of reasons, not just my being greedy."

"You can't lose her; she's your wife. I know it wasn't a legal marriage, but no one doubts the strength of her commitment to you, or all three of us together. No one is going to attempt to break us up. That'd be too harsh. If your parents initially have that idea, my parents will soon put them right, but I doubt the conversation will go that way. Your mom must already have some idea of what Carol is like. It's probably better just to let the parents talk. Mom knows my views exactly, and my views are what's best for you so that's fine. It's really just a matter of letting your parents know that Carol belongs to us now. They heard her vows and know we're behaving that way now, so they know intellectually. They just need to know that it's a little more true than they currently understand."

[[By the time Vanessa got to question Carol about her submissiveness this morning, Julia had already spent several highly emotional and effective days increasing Carol's reliance on Julia and me. Julia had done that mostly for my benefit, but she'd subconsciously known that her relationship with me would be much safer if she controlled Carol. If Julia had instead put the same effort into increasing Carol's self-reliance, Vanessa and Prof would have gotten a very different understanding of Carol.]]

"Okay. As usual, you sound like you know what you're doing. I'll leave it to you."

"Good attitude! No wonder I love you! Haha, just joking - remember that I want you to be more commanding. This will be easy, as my whole family is on my side."

By now Julia had a pot on the stove. There were scraps and some mess, so I started cleaning up. Julia said, "Leave it for Carol."

"I don't mind."

"No, leave it all for Carol."

"But she's resting upstairs and I'm standing right here. It makes more sense for me to do it."

Julia corrected me, "Sorry, but the two of you have to learn that she is our servant. She wants to be so don't deprive her. Your breakfast dishes are still upstairs so let's go up and tell her to come down here and clean everything. I hope she still is resting, as waking her up to do them will be a better lesson for her."

"Isn't that a bit cruel? I know you're not a cruel person, so I guess I'm really asking you to explain why you are so 'apparently' cruel about this?"