Chapter 33: A Nice, Relaxing Movie Date

Sunday, April 10, 2005

I was the first non-mother to breakfast, as usual. When Donna joined us I checked, "We agreed to have runs Monday and Wednesday mornings, so are we going to run tomorrow morning?"

Donna said, "Sure, I'd like that. Yesterday Carol said that you're an incredible runner. You went at my speed last time, so next time I want to see what you can do." Donna paused, and I could see she was thinking of something. She added to Mom, "Would it be okay if I bet on Mark for the race on Saturday?"

Mom asked, "Bet with whom?"

"Any of the Club who want to bet with me. There'll be some very good runners in that race so I'd get good odds."

"What do you know about getting odds, young lady?"

You could see Donna realize that she'd said far too much. She tried to back up. "Umm, not much. I've heard people talking at the Club, is all."

"I'm not sure I believe that. You know my opinions on betting, don't you Donna?"

Hesitantly, "Yeeess."

"So what do you think my answer is about your betting on Mark? Regardless of good odds or not."

"Umm, I guess you don't agree."

"You guess right."

So that ended that conversation. Donna really shouldn't have mentioned betting to Mom.

Carol came in soon after that. Looking very happy and giving me a big smile when she saw me. I asked her, "How was your sleep, sweetie?"

She rushed around the table to where I was sitting, gave me a big hug from behind, kissed me on the top of the head, and said, "Wonderful, thank you very much. I felt so happy."

She was still hugging me when I saw Mom raise her eyebrow at her.

Carol answered, "He said some very nice things to me just before I went to bed. I felt so happy that I told him I was going to have the best dreams. I can't remember if I had any, but I know I was feeling wonderful. It's an amazing feeling to know you're loved." Which got me another hug then Carol went to her seat.

"You kids are amazing."

Carol added, "Especially Mark."

I disagreed, "Especially Carol."

"Especially Mark."

"Carol."

"Mark."

I poked my tongue out at her, and she poked hers right back. The family was amused.

After breakfast I called Julia, and we agreed that Vanessa would pick me up after lunch, about 2pm.

I spent the rest of the morning washing my parents' cars, doing yard work, and sundry other chores.

Mid-morning Carol brought out two glasses of fruit juice and a plate with a few sandwiches for Dad and me. It was very nice, especially as I got to eat most of the sandwiches. I gave her a hug and a, "Thanks sweetie."

I was amused to notice that she hung around to take the dishes away too, although "amused" probably isn't the right word. I'm so mixed up about whatever it is that's going on with Carol that I'm not sure what my emotions are, except for one of them which is easy to identify. I'm doing my best to repress that one!

After finishing outside, I had a shower and then it was lunchtime. At the table I said, "I was thinking about Carol going shopping next Saturday, and I think I need to soon too. My clothes aren't fitting so well anymore. Maybe I'll go out Saturday afternoon, after my race." For the last couple of years Mom has let me buy a lot of my own clothes. We agree on what I'm going to be buying, and she gives me an appropriate amount of money and leaves me to it. I keep the receipts and return any change. I was really just starting the conversation to make up a list of what I needed and to agree on a budget, but before Mom could respond Carol jumped in.

Carol enthused, "Don't do it Saturday! I want to help. Can you do it some other day please?"

"Sure. We can do it the following Saturday, if you like?"

"Yes please. I'd love to help get you some good clothes."

Mom and Dad were looking on with pleased amusement. Carol had never volunteered to help me with clothes shopping before.

Mom asked me, "What do you think you need?"

"Quite a lot. I'm getting taller again, so my pants are starting to look silly. Also my shirts are getting too tight across my shoulders. Doesn't matter for T-shirts, but some of my good shirts are getting uncomfortable."

Mom said, "I thought you'd finished your growth spurt already. Let's measure you in the doorway after lunch."

That's what we did. The doorway from the kitchen into the living room is the family measuring post/archive. I backed up against it and had my height scribed.

Mom confirmed, "You're right; you've grown the best part of an inch. That must be why you've been eating so much recently." I wisely decided not to tell her it was because I had three extra minds. "If you're still growing it'd be best to just get the minimum you need until you've stopped."

Mom, Carol and I went to my room and sorted through my clothes to work out what I needed to buy. Mom selected a shirt and pair of pants, and asked me to try them on so she could see how badly they fit. I made them turn their backs, to their amusement.

Some of my existing pants could have their hems turned down as Mom is quite handy on a sewing machine. She used it quite often to save money. After Mom decided which items could be adjusted, I just needed a couple of pairs of pants and a couple of good shirts. That having been established, I shooed the females out of my room while I got dressed nicely for my second official date with Julia.

I read for a little while, until Vanessa and Julia came to collect me.

^

Vanessa took us into town and dropped us outside the theater. We bought our tickets but had some time to kill so we walked to a burger joint. A couple of times during our walk people yelled out, "Hi Egg," or something similar. Most of the greeters I only knew by sight, not by name. It was a strange feeling to be so well known.

At the burger joint, we got a shake each and sat talking in a stall. I mentioned to Julia that I'd asked Carol about the "preparations" for Thursday evening, and that Carol had gone red and repeated the "wink message."

Julia was pleased that I hadn't pressed Carol for the details.

I rather foolishly asked, "Don't you think you're taking my showing TK to Carol too seriously?"

As it turned out, Julia most emphatically did not think she was taking it too seriously. She looked around to make sure we couldn't be overheard, then quietly yelled at me, "Are you KIDDING! You can do something that no one else in the world can do. That makes you superhuman and Carol will only be the second person ever to see it. It's not possible to overstate how important this is..."

Julia clearly wanted to carry on praising me, so I cut her off, "Okay, okay. I get the idea. I don't think it makes me a better person in any way, but I know I'm never going to convince you of that so I'll let you plan Thursday the way you want. As if I had any choice!"

Julia asked, "How are you getting along with Carol the last few days?"

"Amazingly. She's very affectionate and wanting to do little things for me. Fetches me drinks, wants to help me shopping for new clothes in a couple of weeks, and I'm sure anything else I could think of. She came into my room twice last evening to sit on my lap and cuddle for a little while. She says she'll be doing it every evening. She's very nice to be with, but I worry she's going overboard with her waiting on me. I got the impression you're the one who pushed her into that?"

Most of Julia's opinions about anything are firm, and were even more so on this one. "She's NOT going overboard. It's not possible to go overboard with how important you are. She's doing exactly what she needs to do. Please don't hesitate to ask her to do things for you. If you don't need anything, try to make something up, at least one or two such requests per day. You'll see that it'll make her very happy, and you do want Carol to be happy, don't you?"

[[You don't know Julia well enough to appreciate the significance of this yet, but notice that she talked about Carol rather than responding to my comment about me buying clothes in a couple of weeks. Once you get to know Julia better, you'll understand that her choice of topic proved how important she considered Carol.]]

I answered, "You know the answer to that! Carol's not normally a noticeably happy person, but the last few days she's been happier than I've ever seen her, including her loving doing little things for me. But I find it strange and somewhat uncomfortable. It's nice that she cares for me so much that she wants to look after me, but it still feels weird. A couple of years ago she could barely bring herself to talk with me, and preferred to have as little to do with me as possible, and now she can't find enough ways to help me."

"Because YOU are not the same person you were two years ago. You are VERY much better. Carol and I love you so much our hearts feel like bursting. I can express my love by," Julia looked around to make sure no one was listening, then seeing it was safe she continued, "taking you to bed and screwing your brains out. You always screw my brains out, but at least I can express my feelings. Poor Carol can't.

^-- "I've spent a lot of time talking to her and thinking about her since Wednesday, and I understand her fairly well now. She's bursting with love for you, but doesn't have any way of showing it. I feel sorry for her as it must be horribly frustrating. So it's important you give her ways to express her love. She's a very quiet, passive girl, so the best way she's got to express herself is to serve you, just as I make her do things for me. It makes her feel loved, needed, valued and secure. Those are very important to her because she's never felt the way she does now, so please find things for her to do and give her lots of affection."

Much of what Julia said made sense. I know Carol is a passive person; like me in that respect. She does spend a lot of time alone and must feel lonely. Plus she's got a long-term habit of putting herself down, so giving her some positive messages would be very good. I still think Carol is WAY overdoing it with me, but Julia seems to know what she's doing, as proved by Carol's extraordinary happiness these days, so I answered, "I see that Carol is VERY happy recently. I don't understand her as well as you do, but I can't argue with your making her happy. So I'll try to find things for her to do, the way you say. The trouble is about the only thing I can think of is getting me a drink."

"Ask her to polish your shoes when they need it. Ask her even if you think they don't need it, as doing them will make her happy. If you're in the living room and want something from your room, ask her to get it for you. Have her do your laundry and ironing for you. If you have a sore back, ask her to give you a backrub. Ask her to make snacks for you - I know you'll like that one! There are lots of things you could ask for."

"The girls already do the laundry because Mom gave them that job a few years ago. I don't get sore backs, but I get your general idea."

"You don't need to have a sore back to ask for a backrub. Just ask for one whenever you feel like it."

"Why would I ask and why would she give me one if there was no reason?"

"You'd ask because it's relaxing and pleasurable to receive a backrub. It'd also give Carol a chance to do something for you, which would make her happy. She wants chances to express herself."

"It seems very selfish to me. It's a very one-sided deal."

"You're right. She will get FAR more pleasure out of it than you! But it's the least you can do for her."

"How could she get more pleasure than me? She'd be the one doing all the work and I'd just be lying there enjoying myself."

Julia's answer turned out to be very convincing. She started it by asking to borrow my cellphone. I handed it over, a bit puzzled why she wasn't using her own. I sat and watched while she typed a text message then sent it.

Julia said, "This is what I sent to Carol." The screen read, "Come to my room tonight and spend at least 30 min giving me the best backrub you can. What do you think?"

#1: <Good grief! Carol's going to think we sent that, and Julia didn't even say "please". What on Earth is Carol going to think? It's effectively a demand!>

I would've been sure that Carol would be angry, except that Julia was obviously convinced Carol would be happy. After some more thought, I had Carol's likely reaction narrowed down to probably somewhere between angry and happy, although I wasn't sure.

Carol replied very quickly, her text reading, "THANK YOU! I am SO happy! Will study n practice on Donna 2b best I can. I LOVE u. xxx."

I showed the message to Julia, who had the decency not to say, "I told you so." Her smug look of superiority said it for her.

I'd been soundly outsmarted. I wasn't ashamed as it just meant Julia understood a girl better than I did, which was hardly surprising. That I'd lived with Carol all her life and Julia had only known her half a week gave me a headstart, but their both being girls counted for far more than thirteen years of living in the same house. So I said, "You were right. Carol really does want to please me, and she's obviously very happy to do so."

Julia's response was, "All you have to do is lie back, enjoy it, and give her HEAPS of appreciation. She lives for appreciation from the both of us, especially from you. I'll call her later and praise her for looking after you so well the last few days. It's important to reward her for being so caring toward you. You're not asking her to do things for your benefit, but for hers. If you want Carol to be happy, then that's a very good way of doing it."

"I can see that. I can also see that I would never have known that without your help. You're very good to Carol and me. Thank you very much."

"Think about this: I'm making you and Carol very happy. You're making Carol and me very happy, especially recently because we're both bursting with happiness because of you. To complete the third leg of the symmetry, Carol can also make you very happy. She hasn't had a chance yet, but she will. She'll also make me happy in some ways, but that doesn't matter because my life is focused on you, so if she makes you happy then I'm automatically very happy.

^-- "I'm delighted to have her onboard. Especially since I've known about your TK, but even before then I already knew you're an incredible guy. I know you don't appreciate how important that makes you, and how much responsibility that puts on me. My brain goes in to a complete spin when I try to think about what you're going to be doing in just a few years from now, and how I can keep up with you and be helpful for you.

^-- "One thing I'm very sure of is that you'll need some people that you can absolutely trust around you, so I was feeling very uncomfortable being the only one. Sharing that with Carol means she's making me feel much better. So the three of us are all wonderful for each other. That's why I want the three of us to spend as much time together as possible, including Carol coming to my home so much. We three are perfect together - we're a match made in heaven!"

Listening to Julia's three-sided symmetry explanation I'd had the thought that it was true that we all cared for each other, but we each believe the other two to be better than ourself. I'm just a very ordinary boy with some freaky abilities, whereas Julia and Carol are both much better quality people than I am. I know Carol thinks exactly the same thing about Julia and me, only more so. And Julia somehow thinks I walk on water. Julia's opinion of Carol is the only one that doesn't fit that pattern, but Julia obviously values Carol's inclusion because I like Carol so much, which is all the reason Julia needs. Carol's being my sister also wonderfully avoids Julia's homicidal jealousy.

Thinking about Julia not looking up to Carol made me remember that Julia actually bosses Carol around. Remembering that gave me a momentary negative emotional reaction - as had happened the other times I'd thought of that - but this time I suddenly realized that it truly did make Carol happy. The text message my phone had sent Carol had been very commanding, but Carol had loved it. For the first time I accepted what Julia had been telling me about that. I appreciated the thought briefly, including making a mental note to watch how Julia treats Carol in the future, and try to learn to do the same. Carol was thriving on it, and I wanted to see her thrive some more.

Julia had leaned back and had watched me think. I was just about to thank Julia, when she suddenly sat up. I could almost see the lightbulb go on above her head. She was suddenly focused on whatever she'd thought of, so I stayed quiet to let her think, as she'd done for me.

After a few seconds she quietly said to herself, "Oh, that's GOOD!"

I asked, "What's good?"

She answered me, "I just had a FANTASTIC idea for our ceremony on Thursday. I'm kicking myself for not thinking of it before - it's SO OBVIOUS!

^-- "I might have to miss part of school tomorrow morning. I need to talk with Mom tonight too; she'll have some ideas. I need to have a serious talk with both my parents. This keeps getting better and better. Don't worry if you don't see me at school tomorrow morning, darling."

One of the many weird things about females is that they believe their explanations explain things. All I understood was that Julia might miss some school, and that "showing Carol my TK" on Thursday evening had apparently been elevated to the status of a ceremony, whatever that meant.

My TK demonstration was shaping up to be just like my First Date, although hopefully without the premature ejaculation. I'd thought that date was going to be simple, but it had required several people many hours to make it happen so well. The same thing was apparently happening with my TK demonstration. Having learned my lesson, I kept quiet.

#4: <I wonder if this is why Dad leaves so much to Mom? Because women are so much better at this stuff that it's best just to let them do their thing and cooperate when they tell us to do something.>

#1: <We'd certainly have to be pretty stupid to argue with Julia about any of this.>

As I didn't have a clue what the ceremony idea meant, and I had a feeling I wasn't supposed to, I reverted to the previous topic. "Julia, about your explanation of Carol's personality and needs. I'm starting to understand your thinking about her. I am very impressed at how much Carol is thriving under your 'command'. I understand you want me to be more commanding toward her too. I will try. It's strange for me, but I can see that she loves it. You are a very impressive young woman. I'm so glad you want to be my girlfriend."

"I am many things toward you. Girlfriend is the least of them, as you'll discover."

I hope she didn't expect a reply because I didn't have a clue what she meant, yet again. I looked at my watch, and it was about time to wander back to the theater. We stood, Julia grabbed my arm as she always does, and we started walking with Julia deep in thought.

I amused myself by thinking about the way Julia holds my arm. I very much enjoy it, so much so that holding hands seems weak in comparison. It works perfectly when we're sitting as she can easily grab my upper-arm and hug it to her. But when we're walking, especially if she's wearing flat shoes, she's so much shorter than me that my upper-arm is too far above her for her to reach comfortably. She'd also end up hugging it to her head, which neither of us would enjoy as much as having it hugged to her chest. When we walk she usually holds my forearm. It's nice, and definitely better than holding hands, but somehow not quite as nice as the upper-arm hug when we're sitting.

My growing taller was going to make Julia's hugging style a little harder for her, but it shouldn't make much difference. Otherwise I'm extremely happy about growing taller. With the baggy clothes I wear hiding that I'm skinny, taller makes me look less of a wimp. I was heartily sick of years of being vulnerable and victimized, so every inch of non-wimpishness that I could gain was welcome.

Julia said, "I hope Carol is good at giving backrubs."

The way she'd said it required me to ask, "Why?"

"Because when she comes over on Wednesday evening for her sleepover, I'm going to command her to spend an hour giving me a full body massage. Back and front, while naked."

#4: <Oh my God! Can you picture that?>

#1: <Wow. That's hot!>

#2: <Did Julia mean that she'll be naked, or Carol, or both? I have to know! I'll ask her.>

"Did you mean you or Carol naked?"

"Both of course."

#4: <God, that's a hell of a sexy image!>

We looked down, and sure enough, my pants were 'tented'. Definitely unsuitable for walking around in public!

Just as I was issuing an emergency go-soft command, Julia spotted my 'tent', "I can see what you think of that. Good!"

Oh dear. I flushed with embarrassment. I should've known that was going to happen some time today. I concentrated on doing the go-soft as quickly as I could.

A few steps later Julia added, "When you're cuddling with Carol after your backrub tonight, would you please tell her, 'You will be giving Julia a full body massage on Wednesday night, back and front, with both of you naked.' Those exact words please, especially that, 'she WILL be giving it.' Don't say that I'll be asking or anything wishy-washy like that. State it as a certainty. Will you do that for me please?"

"Far be it from me to disagree with anything you suggest for Carol, so I'll do exactly as you ask. Can I ask some questions though, please?"

"Of course. You are the boss after all."

Somehow I doubted it, but I'd stick to one topic at a time. I asked, "Why do you want me to tell her that?"

"Carol will spend from when you tell her until Wednesday night eagerly anticipating serving me so intimately. I've never told her to do anything like that before and it'll please her very much. She loves to make you and me happy, and this will be the most intimate occasion so far. The nakedness and touching aspects will make her think of sexual things, but that's not the main reason. Her being exposed will reinforce her vulnerability. She sees herself as being weak, so that'll confirm her opinion of her role in life. My willingness to be naked with her and allow her to touch my body so intimately will tell her that I trust her a great deal, which will make her proud and happy."

"I think I understand. My first thought was that it was a hot sexual image, but that's not it at all, is it?"

Julia laughed, "I saw your pants so you don't have to tell me what your first thought was! Haha. I'm glad you find it a turn-on. She will too. Not as much as you, but she'll still get excited by it. She's young, inexperienced, and at her age easily turned on, so her mind will skitter all over the place. She'll have some sexual thoughts, but that isn't the main issue."

^-- Julia paused briefly, then carried on with, "I was just thinking about the sexual aspect. I didn't plan it, but I just noticed that the words I asked you to tell her don't say whether the command is yours or mine. She'll be intrigued by that uncertainty. It's accidentally quite delicious. If she tries to get more information out of you - which I expect she will - try to keep the uncertainty going. Can you please say something like, 'I have told you what will be happening and that's all you need to know.'"

"I understand what you mean, and that you're cunning and doing something for her, but I don't understand why the uncertainty over who made the command is important?"

"It's not that important. If you told her it was either of our ideas, that'd still be good. The role Carol wants for herself is to serve both of us, but she'll still need to know which of us this command came from so she'll know what it means, because that tells her who she is. That wording prevents her knowing that, so she might even get a little desperate and panicky trying to find out. If we don't let her know, it'll be a cute way of telling her that it doesn't matter which of us gives her commands because we're both her boss. When that sinks in, it'll reinforce her desire to serve us."

"Are you sure we should be doing those sorts of things to my sister? I REALLY don't want anything bad to happen to her."

"Yes, I am sure, but I'm sorry I sprung it on you so suddenly. I've been thinking about this for several days but I realize it's the first you've been aware of it.

^-- "From the night of our first date I got the impression that she was very needy and that she desperately wanted someone to look up to. I didn't do anything about it, not even thinking about it, until we had your family over for dinner last Wednesday. That was only four days ago, but when I realized how perfect she could be I started pushing her every chance I had, and I made sure I had plenty of chances. I talk with her several times a day. To my surprise and delight, whenever I pushed her she happily did whatever I commanded. She hasn't said no to me yet and I don't think she ever will. Some of the things I've told her to do are things that a normal person would question, but she's delighted to do them. Not just willing to do them, but delighted.

^-- "She has a low opinion of herself and wants to be dependent on someone she respects and considers much more capable than herself. Her only way of feeling worthwhile in a relationship with a superior person is to serve him or her. That's her personality and we're not going to be able to change it."

We'd stopped walking by now, and had pulled off the main sidewalk to make it easier to talk. Just as well considering how personal the discussion was getting. Julia's face took on a serious look while she said, "You need to be aware of an important issue: Carol wants to serve. If we reject her, or even just don't give her enough of what she needs, then she'll find someone else or someone else will find her. Perhaps someone who doesn't love her for herself, but who just wants to use her. She's very beautiful and very passive, so could easily be taken advantage of if she met a guy who was smart enough to work out how to manipulate her.

^-- "At her age the boys are clueless, but once she gets into high school some of the seniors could hit on her. Some of them can be very commanding because they're arrogant. If she decided to serve someone, she wouldn't have any defense against being abused and hurt. It's scary how vulnerable she is. She needs to have someone - or two someones - who have her best interests in heart. Can you think of any two people like that?"

#2: <This reminds me of me back before I first committed suicide. I was too passive too, couldn't stand up for myself in any way. The bullies knew that and used me in whatever ways they wanted. Carol has a sort of female version of what I had. Obviously there are some differences, but there are a lot of similarities too. To me what Julia said makes sense. What do you guys think?>

#1: <Carol's reply to that text message was a major eye-opener for me. I never would've guessed she'd answer that way. The only reason I didn't think Carol would be angry was Julia's confidence, which proves I knew nothing about Carol herself. That Julia was confident and right about Carol's reply means she's got Carol pretty well pegged.>

#4: <I agree. Relationships are far, far deeper and more important than they seem. Remember around the day of our First Date, when Mom was telling us about things that could go wrong. Like how important it was for us to call Julia Saturday morning after she gave us her virginity, how damaging it could've been if we let any of the fame-groupies get to us, or if we said "Eww". They were terrifyingly easy to occur and very serious in their consequences. This is very similar. On the outside we're only getting Carol to do little things for us like get us a drink of milk or rub our back, but underneath it all, if we don't protect her she could end up being abused and possibly even killing herself like we did.>

#2: <It's just as well Julia told us this, or we could have made a serious mistake.>

"Julia, I think I understand what you're saying. I'm definitely going to give it more thought, but everything you've said sounds correct to me. I'll be observing Carol with my eyes very much opened now, hoping to understand her better. Thank you very much for that. I owe you a great deal for what you've just said. You just might've saved Carol's life. I don't know how, but I'll try to find some way to pay you back."

"Mark, darling, you don't understand my role in our relationship. You do NOT have to pay me back. If Carol brought you a drink, would you have to pay her back? I'll answer for you since the movie's starting soon. You don't have to pay her back because what you're providing her - love, protection, a safe environment in which to serve and give her love - are of far greater value than what she does for you, such as bringing you drinks."