Chapter 333: The Angel Heads Home

Thursday, April 5 (Continued) to Saturday, April 14, 2007

When it was dark enough, I surfaced and flew east until I reached the Cascades. I flew north along the spine of the mountain range, staying very close to the ground and below the nearest ridge. I sometimes divert from my northward journey to enter a deep gully and follow it east or west until it got too shallow, then I'd pop out and resume going north. If they were tracking me with some sort of technology, I wanted to make it as hard as possible for them.

I stopped to recover my stash of gear (watch and wallet mostly), getting changed out of my A-man costume at the same time because there was little chance I'd need to become him again on this trip. I carried it closer to home, hiding it about fifty miles from Corvallis, then flew to my bike.

I pedaled home, searching very carefully for any unwelcome activity, especially when I got very close to home. There was no sign of anything wrong. About 750 feet from home, I slowed down to barely moving so I could make completely sure there was no one hidden on the side of the road, around our gate, overlooking it, or inside it.

When I was close enough, I checked inside the house. It took me a few seconds to find anybody because they were all watching Archangel reruns in the games room, probably in that room because it was the most secure. Everyone looked serious, but not highly fearful or angry.

I checked the grounds and the house, finding nothing untoward, so I rode up to the gate and let myself in.

One of the guards spotted me and came over, asking, "Hi Ron. What do ya think of the news?"

"I've been out of touch. What's happened?"

"You haven't heard?"

"I've been riding and thinking. I've been having girl troubles recently and wanted to take some time to think about it."

In the guards' opinions, the only "girl troubles" I had was trouble choosing which girl to have sex with next. They thought I was the luckiest guy alive: I'd arrived a destitute, unskilled wheelbarrow pusher, and now I was a major millionaire who slept with three girls every night and several others casually.

After he'd recovered from the shock, the guard said, "At lunchtime an angel appeared in LA. He said he was an angel, and he could do some amazing shit."

"Haha. If it happened in LA, it has to be some sort of movie gimmick to get publicity."

"He was flying through the air. Him and other people..."

"Wires or trick photography obviously."

"Wait till you see it on TV. It'll blow your mind!"

"You haven't been smoking something unusual, have you?"

"I wanted to when I saw the news. It's VERY weird shit. You'll see."

I rode my bike around to my garage, having an abbreviated version of the same conversation with another guard on the way. I parked my bike then walked through the tunnel to the games room.

Just as I was about to enter the room, #12: <Shit, we're stupid!>

#25: <Doubtless true. What'd we do this time?>

#12: <For months we've been worried about being overheard by bugs. I was just thinking that we weren't going to be able to have a good conversation with the families until we all trouped off to the new house, but all we have to do is put an airtight box around everyone.>

#All: <SHIT!>

I entered the room. Everyone turning at the noise and showing some very strong emotions upon seeing me. Fortunately mostly relief and happiness; but there was definitely some "You're gonna get it" on the parents' faces too.

I NP'd everyone except Donna's lips closed, motioning them to come to where I was standing. I also indicated that they should leave their cellphones behind.

Julia jumped to her feet in a shot, closely followed by the rest. No one said anything, which caused Donna to ask, "Why's no one talking?"

I answered, "We'll talk in a moment, Donna, just as soon as everyone is close enough."

A couple of seconds later everyone had walked onto the floor of my NP-box, so I closed the side and roof. The sound from the TV immediately cut off.

I placed one hand in front of my mouth, holding it just in front of my lips so I could speak but any video bug wouldn't be able to see my lips move, in case there was a video bug and the recording was sent to someone who could read lips. I said, "I've found a way to cut off the sounds of our conversation from any audio bugs..."

A deluge of questions started, including from a very proud and excited Donna.

I yelled, "SHUT UP!" That surprised everyone into silence, so I continued, "Cover your mouths like I am, so any video recordings can't be used to lip-read what we're going to say. This conversation is going to be a VERY secret one. It's suspicious enough that any video bug will see that we're talking but will have lost sound, but we absolutely cannot let them lip-read this conversation."

Donna had her hand over her mouth and was repeating her excited demand that I confirm that I was the angel. I'd been wondering how to politely exclude Donna but it was obviously too late for that; her huge excitement making it obvious what she thought.

Hand over mouth, Mom said, "She recognized the lights, so you might as well tell her."

"Yes Donna, that was..."

A VERY excited Donna interrupted, "How fast can you fly? Can you take me? I'd LOVE to fly like that! Can you take all of us? How come you never told us before? When can you take me?..."

Her hand had started lowering, so I grabbed it with my real hand and slapped it against her mouth forcefully.

#1: <No questions about how we do it. How's that for having confidence in her brother.>

My mouth was still covered with my other hand, so I sternly stated, "Keep your mouth covered or I'll kick you out of the room. I'm serious! This is too important to risk people knowing what we're saying. Before I say anything, have you all been cautious about what you've been saying before?"

They nodded or said, "Yes" in various ways, but there was also some sheepish looks, so I suspected they hadn't been as cautious as they should've been. There was nothing I could do about the past, but I'm going to make damned sure I don't say "Yes I am the angel" in a way any lip-reader could decipher.

I said, "I can go about five hundred miles per hour, Donna, and I'll take you for a flight as soon as we're sure it's safe after..."

"WHEN? Can we do it tomorrow?"

"No we can't. During the day is far too risky because people will see us. I only fly at night, and not again until things calm down. That'll probably take a few weeks."

"You flew at daytime in LA. We saw you on TV. So why can't you take me..."

Mom interrupted, "Enough Donna! Everyone else wants to talk with Ron for reasons much more important than your having fun."

^-- To me, Mom said, "Why ON EARTH did you pull such a stunt?"

I answered, "It's the first step in a plan that leads to the angel proving its divinity by resurrecting Mark Anderson. I can stop the plan at any time, but I get my life back if it goes all the way to the end. I REALLY want that back because living as Ron Fisher feels like an empty waste of time rather than anything satisfying."

"What plan?" asked Julia.

I explained my plan. It was a simple one, so explaining it didn't take long, even with having to be cautious not to let Donna know that light blobs were my creation rather than helpful aliens that could accurately judge when human girls were ready to start having sex.

The parents had been ready to judge my plan harshly, but it ended up getting some respect from them. Admittedly mostly because they liked that it could be stopped at any time, but they also liked that a small angel would be staying to protect me afterward. Not only would that provide a lot of protection, but if any weird things were subsequently observed around me, they could be attributed to the angel. Donna's presence made it best not to list what "weird things" could be, but they could include light blobs, my using NP around the house (it's amazing how often it has minor uses), through to the family flying up to have breakfast on top of the Cascades. In other words, my plan didn't just allow me to resume my life as Mark, it also provided some long-term security that the original Mark never would have had. My plan certainly didn't get enthusiastic support though, and especially neither did my starting to execute it without discussing it with anyone first.

I defended myself with, "Three weeks ago I told you I had something large and complex I wanted you all to think about and to discuss, but we needed to be in the new house for security reasons and so most of you would've stopped being so utterly fixated on decorating to the exclusion of all else. You couldn't give me a date so I had to start without you. My plan has to be carried out while the weather is still cold so Ron can wear clothes bulky enough to hide his new body. If I'd waited for the decorating to be mostly finished, I'd have had to delay the plan for at least six months, and I don't want to spend another boring six months as Ron if I can avoid it."

"Why is cold weather so important?" asked Prof.

"I wanted the angel to dress in a way that showed his body very clearly so no one would suspect later that the angel was really Mark or Ron. I don't want people to wonder about that, especially as the angel is the same height as Ron. It took me three weeks to change my body from Ron's to the angel's, which is about a thousand times too slow for me to go back and forth whenever I need to, so it has to be done at a time of year when Ron can remain fully clothed between angel's appearances, to hide the changes to his body. People would think it was suspicious for Ron to wear bulky clothes in summer, and it'd only take one look at Ron's cock to confirm that Ron and the angel were the same person, so that suspicion can't be allowed."

I'd deliberately referred to my cock, rather than my body in general, hoping to get a reaction from Julia. I'd keep referring to it until Julia swallowed the bait, so to speak.

Julia isn't bashful, so she responded right away, "But your cock isn't that big. We assumed you were wearing a dildo."

"I don't want to wear a dildo because I can't risk being caught doing anything fake. I want it to be totally lifelike and totally unlike Mark's and Ron's. It's been much larger than normal for the best part of three weeks now, but you never noticed because you were too busy agonizing over the choice of pillowcases and other decorating issues which were far more important to you than your husband."

"That's not true! You're FAR more important to me than decorating."

"Then how come you never noticed that my cock is twice as long and three times as thick as before? Isn't that the sort of thing a wife should notice?"

"You must've changed it very recently."

"Nope. I started changing it three weeks ago, and it was one of the quickest things to change because it's a relatively small change. Plus you never noticed any of my muscles changing either. It's been over a month since you even looked at my body, let alone since we made love. That's why..."

"It CAN'T be THAT long!"

"It DAMNED WELL is! Why do you think three weeks ago I said I couldn't discuss anything complex with you until you'd finished decorating. Your head is so wrapped up in decorating that you haven't even got a clue what your husband looks like these days."

"You should've said something..."

"Are you saying that I need to remind you that I'm more important than pillowcases?"

"Ahh..."

Vanessa joined in, "When was the last time you had sex with Ron, Julia?"

"Ahh, I can't remember. It might be as long as he says."

Carol added, "Me too. I'm just as much at fault as Julia."

I corrected her, "Not nearly as much as Julia, Carol. Julia swept you up in her decorating hysteria. You've never behaved this way before, while Julia has a history of getting excessively carried away. Fortunately Ava is a good girlfriend. She noticed, unlike my two so-called wives."

Everyone looked at Ava. She was smart enough not to side with Julia on this one, just commenting, "It was noticeably larger two and half weeks ago, and too big for comfort for the last week."

As Ava's timing implies, I'd been waiting for my musculature to catch up before the angel appeared in public. Cocks can apparently grow faster than muscles, maybe because of all the practice they get.

"I've been busy for the last week," Julia attempted hopefully.

I answered, "It's been NOTICEABLE for two and a half weeks, as has my extreme muscular developments, and you've been too busy to make love to your husband for over a month."

Vanessa added, "There's no excuse for your ignoring Ron so much, Julia. We've warned you many times that your obsessiveness could lead to trouble, and I suspect your and Carol's neglecting Ron so badly has been a large part of the reason he's attempting such a risky plan. If it blows up in our faces, the disaster will be laid partly at your feet."

Julia and Carol burst into tearful apologies. Julia wanted to be VERY abject - she has a liking for the dramatic - and Carol was just terribly apologetic. I was happy to have both girls feel bad for a while because I had suffered from their being insane for the last few weeks, but I eventually started getting them to stop. Apart from their repetitious apologies being pointless, I couldn't really get angry since I'd deliberately hid my body from them for the last few weeks and had told Ava not to mention it. I could see that Julia and Carol had DEFINITELY got the lesson I'd wanted them to get, so it was time to move on.

As soon as I got my girls to quiet down, Donna delayed things further by asking to see my new cock. I told her I'd show her later as I didn't want to show any video bugs that I had the same-sized cock as Archangel Michael. Under the covers in bed one night was much safer. Donna's request prompted a forceful conversation with her about the need to keep EVERYTHING secret. She promised she would, but she didn't seem sufficiently concerned, so we all put even more pressure on her, until she looked REALLY worried.

I made the point that we weren't in our bug-proof house yet because the women insisted on getting the right pillowcases before we moved in, so in this insecure house Donna couldn't even discuss it with any of us unless I was there and had put everyone in a soundproof box so any bugs couldn't hear us. That caused another digression for me to explain how I'd just realized I could create a soundproof box. It was somewhat embarrassing because if I'd realized earlier I probably could've discussed my plan with everyone, even though half of them were too distracted with decorating issues to think about it properly.

Then we got back to discussing my plan, along with occasional reminders for people to keep their hands over their mouths. One thing I was eager to know was, "What's the public response to an angel appearing?"

Vanessa answered, "Judging by what the reporters are saying on TV, there's a phenomenal amount of confusion over it. The leading theories are: angel, demon, alien, man-from-the-future and hoax. Man-from-the-future and hoax are running last because many of the things you did were too strange. For a while they thought that flying was your only special ability, which might've meant a scientist who'd made a breakthrough could've been hoaxing everyone, but other people have come forward to describe things you did that were nothing to do with flying. The reporter's bottle of water was found to contain alcohol too. That impressed everyone, including us. How did you do that?"

I explained how, "Quite a few of the boats under us had people drinking on them. I just created a small thimble of NP, stole a small amount of white wine from a glass and flew it up near me. While everyone's attention was on me staring at the cap, I divided the wine into small drops which I flew into the bottle which I was holding it down by my left side, the side opposite the cameramen. It was easy."

I got quite a few laughs from my families, and some congratulations for pulling such a cute trick.

Vanessa added, "That trick's got a lot of people very worked up. Unless the reporter was your partner, it eliminates the hoax possibility and it makes the man-from-the-future seem unlikely.

^-- "It's hard to tell which theory is winning between angel, demon and alien. Most of the strongly religious groups are claiming you must be a demon because of your blatant sexuality, shooting people, the derision you had for the three preachers who ran at you, and because they strongly disagree with many of the things you said about God. The average person in the street usually goes for angel, alien or 'don't know'. The people you interacted with are much more in favor of angel because you were so nice to them. Not the preachers and law enforcement agents, but the others were impressed by you."

"Good. Lots of confusion was what I was going for. That way I'll have to do something to prove my divinity."

Mom said, "You certainly succeeded at spreading confusion. There's a great deal of yelling going on, to not much benefit."

Dad asked, "What do you intend to do next?"

"Find out what people are thinking by watching TV, reading newspapers and listening to people in the street; and to see what the Government's stated position is, if any. I'll wait a week or so, and then reappear to complain about the lack of a suitable reaction to me.

^-- "I'd really like my next appearance to be my pulling Bush out of the White House. Grabbing him by the back of his belt and flying him out ass first, and holding him suspended by his belt while I tell him that now that I've established my credentials, why hasn't he moved to punish all the criminals that I as Majestic Countdown exposed in my email leaks. I expect he will have done next to nothing about my many leaks, especially because most of them incriminated his own party members. His failure to act would give me a great excuse to prove my divinity by offering to resurrect someone. Unfortunately grabbing Bush would probably be too dangerous, so I'll have to do it with someone else. I haven't decided who yet, but it'll be someone I can have the same theme of discussion with."

The conversation went on for quite a while. It had three levels of topic:

1. Low-level individual things I'd done, or was thinking of doing, such as my shooting the guard in the stomach.

2. Mid-level aspects such as how many appearances I'd need and what I'd be trying to achieve with each of them.

3. High-level issues, by far the main one being the question of whether Mark could have a safe life after apparently being resurrected.

Safety was the biggest issue. Was it safe for the angel to keep reappearing in public? Would a resurrected Mark be safe? Would the families be safe? We discussed those questions at length.

We would have an 'angel' for protection, a light blob with very strong NP that could appear on demand and could even do illegal things if necessary, such as using excessive force to stop the DHS or CIA taking me away for questioning. We also had billions of dollars to protect ourselves with. Mark's resurrection wouldn't require us to pay that money back, as the purpose of a pretrial settlement is to avoid dependence on any truth. In any event, my Fourth Amendment rights had been breached whether or not I was dead. The magnitude of the damages could be questioned by people ignorant of the law, but the angel would be saying that it was going to modify Mark's body so it was no longer usable to teach humans how to live forever. The main purpose for saying that was to keep people from wanting to experiment on me afterward, but it would also strongly imply that Mark's body used to be immortal, giving validity to our damages claim.

Another advantage we had was living in a small, mostly non-religious (i.e., sensible), and loyal community. But by far the greatest safety came from my special abilities. I didn't believe anyone could take me out with a pistol, for example, because he'd try to get close enough for an accurate shot, which would put him within my proximity range.

The other likely weapon was a rifle, which was the biggest worry. When I am being Archangel Michael I can take precautions against a rifle attack by picking the few locations I'll stand in, such as against a wall with an open space in front of me and nothing overlooking the area. But when I become Mark, I'll have to use sight blobs as my main defense, using them to check out sniper locations around me, plus under and inside my car for bombs before I get into it, inside the jackets and purses of strangers coming near me, etc. It'd be a nuisance, but hopefully it'd fade away as a serious issue after a few weeks, especially if we kept a very low profile. No going on talkshows, no visits to the Vatican, or the like. A few highly aggressive 'angel' interventions against any troublemakers should provide a strong disincentive too.