Chapter 209: My Date With Mackenzie; The Dull Part

Thursday, May 12, 2005 (Continued)

The rest of the day was the same old same old, until my date with Mackenzie.

I arrived at Mackenzie's house to pick her up at 5pm, and was met by all three sisters, In front of everyone else, Claire rushed toward me with her arms extended for a hug. So much for her keeping a low profile. There was no point in trying to avoid her hug, so I crouched down as I would to accept a hug from a child, and let her run to me.

"Hi, Mark."

"Hello, Claire." I openly gave her a hug for second or two, saying loudly enough for everyone to hear, "I'm only a boy, so my brain goes a little fuzzy whenever I'm near a beautiful girl. Now I'm near three, so I'm very confused. I thought I was here to pick up Mackenzie, but maybe I've got that wrong. Which beautiful sister is it that I'm supposed to be taking out this evening?"

"Me!" announced Claire.

"Are you sure? Mackenzie is dressed up very nicely; too nicely to be hanging around the house."

I let go of Claire and stood up, which broke her grip on me. I turned her with a hand on her shoulder, then we walked closer to the rest of the family. "Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. Norris, Diana, and I hope the reason I came here this evening: Mackenzie."

Mackenzie didn't look too pleased by the greeting I'd received, but she put on a smile and verbally greeted me. No hug though.

Mr. Norris said, "We saw the stories about you in the newspaper. What..."

Claire interjected herself into the conversation, raving about how incredible I was to beat up six guys so coolly. I'd checked with Mackenzie at school that her parents weren't going to have a meltdown or cancel our date because of that fight, so I wasn't worried about the topic being raised now. I would have been surprised if it hadn't been, parents being parents.

Meanwhile Claire had segued into bemoaning the disaster at lunchtime. That caught Mrs. Norris's attention, so she looked at me inquiringly, adding, "Oh?" in case I didn't understand Eyebrow.

I answered, "I tried to go to middle school to have lunch with my sisters and some of their friends today, which apparently included Claire. Unfortunately I got mobbed by a bunch of excitable, silly kids before I could get there, and I had to beat a retreat back to high school. My sisters came to me instead, so we had lunch together anyway, but without Claire and any of the rest of my sisters' friends."

"We're having lunch with you tomorrow though!" exclaimed Claire excitedly.

"So I understand."

Mrs. Norris asked, "Why would you get mobbed at school?"

"Goodness knows! It was a totally irrational behavior, and very annoying too."

Diana added, "Because he's so COOL, Mom! Mark's VERY popular at school. All the girls think he's dreamy, and the boys think he's a hero..."

"Like I said, it's totally irrational. A few dozen of the least self-controlled middle-school kids mobbed me on the way to see my sisters. I could have pushed through them, but they would have followed and turned my lunch into a madhouse, so I retreated back to high school. It's amazing how crazy large groups of people can become."

Mr. Norris said, "Back to the incident at school. We'd like to know your explanation for it?"

I doubted he was interested in a mob of middle-school kids, so presumably he meant the fight. I answered, "It's pretty straightforward, sir. Some of that mob mentality exists in high school too. Not as bad, thank goodness, but it's still there. Some of the boys got jealous of me for doing so well academically, athletically and socially, so they decided to get revenge by removing part of my anatomy." (That aspect of the incident had been prominently mentioned in the newspaper stories, usually in the headline.) "I always thought I got along with people because of my warm personality and sparkling wit, but apparently they decided to exact their revenge elsewhere. Naturally I defended myself, but because there were six of them I had to be rougher than I would have liked. That's about it."

"The newspaper said you weren't injured?"

"Do you normally ask guys who date Mackenzie questions about the functionality of their private parts? Haha. Sorry, I couldn't resist that." He was chuckling a little, but not so much that I wanted to milk it. I continued, "In answer to your question, no, I was not injured."

"I find it amazing that you can beat up six guys without getting a scratch."

"I didn't 'beat up' anyone, sir. I've never beaten up anybody in my life. I didn't initiate a single attack against any of those six. Whenever each of them attacked me I broke his arm. Or, in two cases, just pushed them into the wall hard enough to stun them. The moment each of them stopped attacking me, I left them alone. That's not beating someone up; that's self-defense. Maybe I'm being overly fussy about the language, but I don't want you to believe I'm the sort of person who beats people up."

"Mackenzie has already insisted you aren't like that..." Mackenzie had already described to me how it'd taken her quite a while to allay her parents' concerns about me.

There were a few more minutes of talk on the subject, but it was just hot air as far as I was concerned. My interest in the family was mainly in the two younger daughters - as I was already pretty sure that Mackenzie wouldn't work out - and that interest had to be covert. I was very careful and polite to the parents half out of my honoring the prize Mackenzie had won, and half so the younger sisters would be able to visit my sisters (and me) when we got the mansion, with all the privacy my having my own detached house would provide.

Just before Mackenzie and I were about to leave, I asked, "I've got a little entertainment prepared for all the girls on my return. Claire and Diana will be up at 9:30, won't they?"

Their mother answered, "It is a weeknight, and they really should be..."

"Aww MOM! We want to see what Mark's going to do." Claire turned to me, "What are you going to do?"

"You'll have to wait and see. It'll only take ten minutes or so, Mrs. Norris, and I'm sure the girls will enjoy it, especially Mackenzie."

"Me? I thought it was for Claire and Diana."

"I did say it was for 'all the girls.' Please tell me that you are a girl? I'd like to be sure of that before we start our date."

Mackenzie could have made something humorous out of it, but she boringly said, "You know I am." I didn't have much hope that our date was going to be a bundle of laughs. I probably wasn't going to be unbundled laughs either.

I added, "Good. Not only did I say the entertainment was for all the girls - which happily includes you - but this is our date night, so it will be mainly for your entertainment. Anything else would be inappropriate and inconsiderate of me." I was sorely tempted to add, "So there's no need for you to be miffed whenever your sisters get any attention from me," but I figured it wouldn't be the best way of starting a date.

We headed off on our "dirty date". That orchids didn't grow in dirt was an omen for this date, as I was pretty sure there wasn't going to be any 'dirtiness' anywhere during this evening.

Mackenzie was not noticeably friendly in the car, not until I pulled into the orchid show's parking lot; then she got very happy.

I'll spare you a description of an orchid show. I'll just say that as flower shows go, it wasn't as bad as I'd imagined (it 'grew' on me). There are some fairly impressive looking orchids, and several of them are called "Dracula [various somethings]," which is pretty cool. Mackenzie loved it, which was the main point.

I spent the nearly two hours internally chatting with myself, partially listening to Mackenzie rave over the various flowers, and making my way through crowds of mostly middle-aged ladies, a surprising large number of middle-aged men, and a smattering of other demographic groups.

Toward the end of the time, I surreptitiously bought one of the little orchids that were for sale, with the scientific name of "Broughtonia sanguinea" (its name was of no interest to me whatsoever, and I imagine not to you either, but it becomes relevant shortly). It was easy to fold the bag so it formed a narrow column. I put it in the outside pocket of my jacket, making sure to keep that side facing away from Mackenzie for the last quarter-hour of our visit.

When time was up, I walked Mackenzie back to the car, sat her in it, then walked around to my side. I put my jacket on the backseat, hiding the orchid by wedging it between the back of the driver's seat and the frame of the car.

The restaurant conversation was pleasant, mainly because Mackenzie was in a very good mood for two reasons: she'd spent the last two hours doing something she loved, and she thought I was an excellent date, even though I'd done nothing except hang around while she spent the last two hours doing something she loved. She was also pleased because we were in an upmarket restaurant that served high quality 'ordinary food' (I'd finally got a recommendation out of the mothers last evening).

With Mackenzie's good mood and my having three minds to keep the conversation going, we had a congenial dinner. More congenial for her than for me, as she was too bland for my tastes. The one thing that could've livened up my interest in her, I resisted doing anything about, as I didn't use any of the conversational opportunities that arose to remind Mackenzie that she should share me with her sisters. I saw no chance of my reminders helping, and she would probably get upset about them. I was attentive and nice, hoping that Mackenzie would tell her girlfriends at school what wonderful company I was, as a good addition to all the sexual advertising that'd been going on recently.

By the time we left the restaurant I had her eating out of the palm of my hand, provided I continued to do only what she wanted me to do. That's the sort of girl I thought she was. She was unstinting in her praise and appreciation for such a wonderful date, and for my being so nice to her, but I felt that if I'd gone an inch over the line - located about a quarter of the way to first base - she would've changed her tune very quickly. It didn't worry me. I was going to be leaping into bed with Carol and Julia soon, so I wasn't going to be the least bit sexually frustrated. I'd FAR rather have sex with my wives than with Mackenzie anyway, so it was very easy for me not to be an octopus.

I put my jacket on the backseat again before I drove her home, that way I could recover the orchid surreptitiously when I retrieved my jacket. We arrived at her home a few minutes before 9:30 because I'm a very moral person, and I escorted her up the path to her front door with me carrying my jacket over my other arm with the orchid hidden under it.

At the front door I let Mackenzie enter the house first, while I stalled by wiping my shoes on the mat. I was NP'ing (so I wouldn't have to bend over) the orchid bag down to the ground next to the house's wall, outside and just beside the doorway. Then I entered the house.

Mrs. Norris had already yelled, "Mark and Mackenzie are back!" down the hallway, so the same time as I walked into the house, Claire and Diana came running down the hallway. We all arrived at about the same time, including Mr. Norris from the living room.

The most interesting of the arrivals was Diana, as she was wearing quite a sexy nightie. Not even close to blatantly sexy - not transparent or with large gaps, for example - but it was still very nice. Short-ish, very slightly translucent, and tight enough that it showed her unrestrained figure off very nicely. I could tell from my lifelong, dedicated self-training, that she wasn't wearing a bra and probably not panties either. On second thought, almost certainly not panties, as she would have talked to Claire about the Ducklings not wearing them and I'd asked her not to when we'd talked in the parking lot after school. What a lovely girl!

Her lack of apparel didn't go unnoticed by her mother, "DIANA! What are you wearing! Go put a robe on this instant!"

"Why? It's just Mark. He's okay." The bright red blush on her face and the very erect nipples indicated I was affecting her more than "just Mark" should.

Mrs. Norris raised her hand, pointing down the hallway, commanding, "Cover yourself this INSTANT!"

Diana hung her head, then walked the few steps to the hallway. There she half-turned to ask her Mom, "Are you sure?" Thereby giving me a very nice look at her side profile.

Her mother growled, which probably meant she was VERY sure.

Diana ran down the hallway, leaving Claire laughing, Mackenzie with a pinched look on her face, Mrs. Norris muttering, and Mr. Norris saying, "I'm sorry about that exhibition, Mark. She's normally a good girl."

After a moment's thought, I said, "I'm sorry about your problem Mr. Norris. I hope it's not too bad, what with your being reasonably young still."

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"You apologized to a teenage boy for Diana's exhibition, so I assume you've got senile dementia."

I smiled broadly, hoping he'd take it as a joke. Fortunately he did, and gave a chuckle at his silliness. I wouldn't have tried that with Mrs. Norris, but Mr. seemed a bit more relaxed.

I said, "Mackenzie, while we're waiting for Diana to dress more modestly, why don't you tell your family how our date went."

That immediately cheered Mackenzie up, and she started raving about how wonderful her evening had been, thereby repairing any damage I might've caused to my reputation with her straitlaced parents.

Diana returned so quickly - indicating that she'd just thrown a robe on top - that Mackenzie had barely started her description. Which was perfect. Her parents had already seen that Mackenzie was extremely happy, which would've made them happy, and Diana's return gave me an excuse to interrupt before I had to listen to an even-more-boring rehash of a date that'd been boring the first time.

Diana entered the room. Everyone looked at her, causing her to blush again.

I used that to justify my interrupting Mackenzie. I said, "Ahh, the innocence of being fourteen. I remember it like it was only last year." Hopefully my condescending attitude to Diana would stop her family from thinking that I had any interest in her.

The unusual wording caught people's attention, but after the second or two it took for the penny to drop, only the three girls laughed. The parents looked puzzled. Mackenzie explained to them, "It WAS last year for Mark. He's only fifteen."

I'd made my joke assuming the parents would get it immediately, as I'd assumed at least one of the girls would have already mentioned my age to them. Although now that I think about it, the newspaper stories keep saying that I'm sixteen.

I was reaching for my wallet during the few seconds it took Mr. Norris. He beat me slightly, "Hang on a minute! You were driving Mackenzie around tonight ... What's this?"

"It's my driver's license. If you check the issue date, you'll see it's over a year ago so I have an unrestricted license. My driving Mackenzie was perfectly legal. Mackenzie knew that, because she's already seen my license on a couple of other occasions. When I made my quip about being the innocence of fourteen being a year ago, I thought you were already aware that I was fifteen, so I'm sorry I've caused you some momentary concern. That license is not a fake; it's 100% legal, issued by the DMV here in Corvallis."

"I don't believe you. They do NOT issue licenses to 14-year olds. That's ridiculous. This is a fake!"

Sidestepping the problem of a 14-year old getting a license, I answered, "I've just finished telling you that it is 100% legal and that it was issued by our DMV. It is NOT a fake. My father was with me when I took all the exams and when it was issued to me by one of the bosses of the DMV. I got it earlier than normal people because the Dean of OSU and the Mayor pressured the State DMV to pressure the local DMV to issue it to me."

Mrs. Norris got into the act, saying, "That's preposterous. No one in their right mind would believe that story."

I turned to Mackenzie, "How much have you told your parents about my being special?"

"I haven't really. Just that you're very nice, and things like that."

"Normally I'd appreciate your discretion, but it's not going to make this any easier." I turned back to the parents. They weren't the sort of people that would appreciate any monkey business, so I didn't copy Julia's normal tactic, instead being very straight even if economical by saying, "The law allows for driving licenses to be issued to people younger than normal if there is a good reason to do so. OSU's Dean and the Mayor convinced the DMV that there was a good reason in my case, so the DMV issued it after I sat some incredibly fierce tests."

Mrs. Norris demanded, "What possible reason could they have for giving a 14-year old a license?" It was clear from her tone that she did not believe there was an answer.

"The reason was: 'For the good of Corvallis.' That's why the Mayor was involved. The Dean was involved because of my importance to OSU."

"What a stupid reason."

"The Mayor did not think so, and he's in a good position to judge."

#1: <They're so pissed off it's not worth trying to smooth the waters just so we can spend ten minutes doing a couple of magic tricks. Let's just leave and get Dad to call them in a day or two. I wouldn't even suggest that except Claire and Diana are delightful.>

So I added, "This is more trouble than it's worth. Please give me my license back and I'll go home."

The girls had been politely silent so far, but they all erupted in protest at my leaving, Mackenzie also telling her parents they were wrong because my license was legal. She added, "He drives his sisters to school and back every day. His parents wouldn't let him do that unless it was legal."

I was reaching out toward my license, but Mr. Norris pulled his hand back, saying, "I'm not going to hand over an illegal license."

Now I was pissed. I'd gone to a lot of effort to get that license, and I didn't want to have to face Mr. Asshole Smith from the DMV to get a replacement for it.

#1: <Don't get pissed. This is good! At the end of this the Norris's are going to be shown up as having mistreated us very badly so they'll be ashamed of themselves for misjudging us. They'll be much less likely to go against our wishes in the future. It's not as good as the leverage we have over the Principal, but it's in the same direction.>

#2: <So we want to maximize how far they go wrong before we correct them, right?>

#1: <Absolutely. The more wrong they are, the better, because they'll be more scared of going wrong against us in future. It'll give us more freedom to misbehave with their two enjoyable daughters.>