Chapter 14: Planning My First Date

Thursday, March 31, 2005 (Continued)

Dinner and the dishes were finished later than normal, and I was about to talk with Dad about the problems caused by predatory girls, when I was buttonholed by all the females to talk about my date tomorrow.

#3: <Tomorrow! Yippee, just one more day to go.>

If I wrote that, "I was looking forward to it", that'd be the same as saying, "the Pacific Ocean is damp." I had spent years desperately longing for tomorrow night. I would've been wildly excited by a date with anyone, let alone Julia: a 16-year old beauty who'd hinted that 'things' might be easily going my way. Plus she'd been very affectionate and there'd been heaps of clingy, physical contact. I didn't exactly have a lot of experience to draw on, but all that seemed to be very encouraging; the "getting lucky" nod especially so.

We hadn't kissed yet, just plenty of handholding and arm grabbing. Especially the arm grabbing; Julia seems to really enjoy that. It must be a female thing because I couldn't imagine my grabbing her arm like that. I don't know how it came to happen, but we seemed to be waiting for our first date before doing anything more than arm grabbing. We never discussed it; it just happened that way. I found that quite strange as I would've thought I'd be uncontrollably eager, especially the "uncontrollable" and the "eager" parts. Instead I didn't even think to question waiting for Friday night. That didn't stop me anticipating Friday though. Boy oh boy was I ever anticipating it!

Apparently the women of the house were anticipating it almost as much as me. Even Donna got into the act. After the dishes were done, I was sat back down at the kitchen table, surrounded by the females, and Carol asked, "What are your plans for your date?"

"Um, I don't exactly have a plan yet. I've been too busy."

"Haven't you been thinking about what you want to do tomorrow night?"

What I wanted to do tomorrow night was very much in my thoughts. Recalling them made me blush, which wasn't really the type of answer my audience was hoping for.

Mom asked, "Have you told her what time the date will be, where you'll meet her, or anything like that?"

"Um, no. All I've done was on Monday morning, when I asked her to be my date on Friday."

Having successfully destroyed any possible claim I might have had to being a participant in the planning of my own date, I was cut out of the process. Mom and Carol immediately launched into the meticulous planning of the entire night. Donna watched with amusement. I watched with, I must admit, mostly relief.

It was agreed, without any input from me, that I didn't need to try to impress Julia and did not need a "busy date" where we did lots of things. What I needed was a date that gave us lots of time to talk quietly together, to get to know each other.

So far Julia and I hadn't had any chance for quiet conversation. School was a madhouse, partly because of the newspaper articles about me, but mostly because Julia was far too busy organizing everybody and everything. By the terms of our unspoken agreement, we weren't seeing each other outside of school until our date. Julia and I talked on the phone every evening, but at my house we only have one line and one usable phone, which is in the kitchen; the extension in my parents' bedroom being out of bounds.

One line for five people and our dial-up internet access was impractical, so phone usage rules are enforced. Up until a few days ago this had only mattered to my sisters as I'd not needed to use the phone much. I was distressed to learn that all the hours I'd not used over the past several years did not entitle me any free minutes now. My evening conversations were sympathetically restricted to the 15-minute limit. The phone's in the kitchen, so the location was restrictive too. I was looking forward to being able to talk privately with Julia.

Being a university town, Corvallis has many eating establishments for college students, but the females unanimously decided that a more upmarket, formal restaurant was going to be the venue. I was informed that my plan for my date was "a nice, long, friendly meal, and - weather permitting - a hand-in-hand walk afterward."

My current criterion for judging restaurants is on their servings' sizes, so I was also left out of the discussion of which restaurant to choose. Mom did suggest that I have a small meal before my date so I didn't horrify the poor girl. I was going to pre-eat anyway, as paying for the date was starting to worry me. With the amount I've been eating for the last month I'd need to order two mains in a restaurant, and that'd be costly in an upmarket one. It'd be better to eat some of Mom's food first.

"By the way, Mark, have you noticed that tomorrow will be April Fools' Day?"

"I hadn't thought of that."

"I probably don't have to tell you this, but to be safe, your first date with a very nice girl, in a fancy restaurant, would be an excellent occasion NOT to do any April Fools' pranks."

"It'd be a FOOL-ish mistake, wouldn't it?"

In a VERY dry tone, Mom replied, "It certainly would. You should forget that word even exists, including no more silly puns."

Donna particularly enjoyed sniggering at that put-down.

"If you're not sure how to act any time during the date, would you like some advice on how to decide?"

"Of course. I'd love that advice. I worry a lot about messing up."

"Imagine Julia twenty years from now, at my age, sitting comfortably at home with a coffee in her hand, thinking back on her first date with you. You should plan on her remembering every single thing you do and say; trust me on that. If you're thinking about doing something, but aren't sure whether it's a good idea or not, ask yourself, 'Would that twenty-years-from-now Julia think back about that something and smile fondly, or not?' If the answer is, 'Not', then don't do it. Okay?"

"That sounds like good advice, thanks." I wasn't sure what I thought of the implication that Julia and I would still be together when we were that old, but I was smart enough to see that acting on the assumption was a good way to behave.

"Different dates can have different purposes, but if you treat this date as if its purpose is to create fond memories, you'll do fine. Don't overdo it, don't try to make every action something major, just talk and be yourself most of the time. But use that method to help you decide if you are unsure about something."

"Thanks."

"I don't think you need much help anyway. From what I've seen and heard, this girl is putty in your hands already. I'm proud of you."

"Aw, shucks, Mom."

"Isn't he sweet?" from Carol.

That got agreement from Mom, "Yes he is. Julia thinks so too."

Then they got back down to business. The restaurant still had to be chosen. A suitable one was eventually selected, and the booking made by Mom, but in Julia's name. I thought that was strange, but what do I know about such things?

Mom knew the restaurant fairly well because her work sometimes had sales' lunches there. One of its deciding factors was that it was a little out of town, and had a very large garden with several paths through it, with views back over of the city. Mom's advice was to, "After your dinner, turn left when you walk out of their front door and follow the path up the hill. There are benches scattered around that you can sit on and look at the view, if it's not too cold."

That was welcome news, as I'd been worrying about when I would get a chance to kiss Julia the way I wanted, which I intended to be in a way that would not have been acceptable in a restaurant. I couldn't wait to 'look at the view' with Julia (cough, cough).

Then the planning committee moved on to the transport arrangements. Julia didn't have her license. The minimum driving age was sixteen in this dimension but she hadn't bothered getting it yet. Even if she had, the first six months are restricted so chances are she wouldn't have been allowed to drive me anyway. Although Corvallis is very biking-friendly, I didn't want to use our bikes on this date!

Mom said she'd drive me around to Julia's to pick her up, and then drive us to the restaurant, and we'd take a taxi home from there.

Carol announced she was coming with Mom, "I want to see what Julia will be wearing."

Now that Carol had mentioned it, I was looking forward to seeing that too, but I'm sure not with the same motivation as Carol.

Having the transport arrangements taken care of made me relieved, until Mom said, "Have you met Julia's parents yet?"

I hadn't. I'd never even thought of that. Suddenly another huge worry opened up in front of me. What if they didn't like me? What if they wouldn't let me date their daughter? Oh my God, I'm in the newspapers every day! What will they think of that? My face fell. "I've never talked to Julia about her parents. I've got no idea whether they'll let me date her, or anything. I'm stuck."

"Then call her now and ask. You need to tell her what the date details are anyway, that it's a dinner date, where it is, what time, and what the transport arrangements are."

The phone was within easy reach so I grabbed it and called her.

When I blurted out my concern, Julia said, "No worries, Mark, they're fine with you."

"How can they be? I'm in the newspapers every day, there's this sex scandal thing about Annette Neumeyer rubbing herself all over me, I get repeatedly beaten up, I even get my little sister beaten up," which was a panicky exaggeration of the Biff#3 incident. "They can't be happy that you're dating me?"

"They're fine. My mother's proud of me. I've told them all about you, and Mom thinks it's very romantic."

"Oh."

"Two more things. They know the media circus is just a circus. There's no substance; it just noisy entertainment. All that happened is that the school bitch twice came up to you and tried to humiliate you, and you verbally defeated her. That she got you beaten up and that the police got involved is nothing to do with what sort of person you are; it's all about what sort of people Annette and the football players are. My parents understand that and your actions look fine to them. They're impressed that you didn't cave in to the bitch."

"Phew, you make it sound simple."

"It is, as far as they're concerned. But I haven't finished yet; remember I had 'Two things'? The second is that my parents both lecture at OSU. They're both academics and value education. I've told them about how well you're doing at school. And here's the best bit: Dad is a professor of mathematics. He wants to meet you. Not as a father protecting his daughter, but as a professor meeting a possible prodigy. You've got no worries with my parents, just so long as you keep their daughter happy, haha."

"That's a weight off my mind; that's wonderful."

"I'll add a third reason. Dad half-jokingly mentioned to Mom that he feels quite comfortable about his daughter going out with a guy who doesn't get a hard-on when the school slut rubs herself all over him. Dad joked that he couldn't imagine a more ideal suitor for his one-and-only little girl."