Chapter 152: Chloe Learns "The Secret"; Part Two

Saturday, April 30, 2005 (Continued)

I took over, "Chloe, I'm very shortly going to tell you what Julia calls, 'The Secret'; what I was waiting for you to work out for yourself. Once you know it, you'll be able to start changing yourself immediately. Knowing Julia, she'll be helping you as much as she can, because that's the sort of person she is. And, to save Julia the trouble of saying it, I'll add that I'll help you too. Julia would no doubt point out that's the sort of person I am too. We'll both try to help you. That's what friends do.

^-- "What Julia didn't know..."

Robert must've won the coin toss (I'm only guessing how they decided which of the two boys would come in), because he wandered into the room. When he saw us he said, "I've found you, good. Oh you've got a guest. Hi, I'm Robert Williams, Julia's brother."

Robert offered his hand. Chloe took it saying, "I'm Chloe Moon. I'm in some of Mark's and Julia's classes at school." (This is my first mention of Chloe's surname. As I'm sure you can imagine, it provided a rich source of jokes for the boys at school. Not that it really made any real difference, because boys will behave like boys anyway.)

Robert said, "Nice to meet you, Chloe. Good morning Carol, Mark and Julia. Have any of you seen the label gun? I've been looking..."

"Oh no," exclaimed Carol, leaping to her feet. "I've got it in my bag. I borrowed it yesterday and never put it back. I'll go get it now."

Carol moved to get out of the tub, but Robert quickly put up his hand, saying, "No need for you to get out Carol. Just tell me where it is and I'll get it."

"Oh. Thanks. I'm very sorry I didn't put it back. It's in my bag, which is on the floor next to the bed in Mark's study. It might have been pushed under the bed, so you might have to search a little."

"No problem. I have your permission to look in your bag?"

"Of course. It's just the little bag I carry stuff back and forth between my home and here. There's only a change of clothes and stuff like that in it. Help yourself. And sorry again for not putting it away like I should have."

"There's no problem. I haven't been panicking about it. Sit down and enjoy your soak."

^-- Robert started leaving, then changed his mind, turning back to say, "Chloe, is this your first time in this house?"

"Yes."

"If you'll allow me a slight presumption then, let me say that I'm sure your figure causes lots of boys to make fools of themselves, but you're in very good company with Mark. He's one of the good guys. Nice to meet you. See you all at breakfast probably. Bye."

"Sorry again," called Carol.

Robert just waved over his shoulder as he left the room.

It didn't really matter whether Chloe commented on it, because if she didn't then we would later, but she did. Chloe said, "Carol! Julia's brother saw you naked!"

"Sure, but it wasn't sexual. Robert's not like that. No one in Julia's family is."

"But he saw EVERYTHING! You don't have any hair, and, umm..."

"Haha. I'm sorry, Chloe, I shouldn't laugh at your embarrassment. Robert didn't look at me sexually. Did he look like he was leering at me? I HATE when boys leer at me. I'm a lesbian, you know, so it's offensive to me. But Robert's not like that. When he looks at me, it doesn't mean anything. It wouldn't matter whether I had a swimsuit on or not."

I said, "A simple way of thinking about it, Chloe, is that Robert SAW Carol, but he did not TAKE anything from her. He especially didn't take her nudity as having any sexual relevance to his relationship with her. It was empty of any sexual meaning, just like Carol sitting on my lap while I gave her a backrub was innocent too. You were surprised my cock was soft after Carol got up because you're too focused on sex, especially on bodies being sexual, and you don't consider people's minds and personalities. That's EXACTLY what you've spent years condemning boys for."

"Oh no! You're right. I'm..."

"You're MUCH better than those guys, Chloe. The vast majority of those boys were treating every girl's body as a sex object, especially girls with big breasts. They didn't care whether the girls wanted to be considered that way or not. In short, they were assholes. For years you've been on the receiving end of the unwanted attentions of thousands of infantile asshole boys, and you've become too sensitive to their attitude. You've even absorbed part of their way of thinking, but it's NOT the real you, it's just a bad habit you've learned from others. I am sure that you're not an 'infantile asshole boy', haha. You're definitely not 'infantile' and you're far too nice to be an 'asshole'. As to whether you're a 'boy' or not, I'm going to check that out VERY thoroughly at the appropriate time."

"{Giggle}. When?"

"I'm getting to that, sweetie. Back to Carol and Robert briefly. Carol's statement about a swimsuit making no difference wasn't quite accurate. Carol's being nude meant that Robert could easily show Carol that he respects her as a person by his reacting normally, and Carol showed Robert that she trusts him by not worrying about his seeing her body. My younger sister Donna also has good relationship with Robert, but a quite different one. She teases him that when she's old enough to have sex, she's going to come looking for him. She's got the poor guy worried because Donna acts like she's ready now, although Mom and Dad have a SLIGHTLY different opinion, haha. It's all teasing, of course, and it's based on Donna trusting Robert too. My point being that Robert is a trustworthy guy. You don't know very many trustworthy boys, do you Chloe?"

"Huh. Umm, no, I don't. Like you said before, boys are infantile ass ... Well, you know. They're not very nice, and DEFINITELY not trustworthy!"

"What you said is sadly true, because the majority of boys are untrustworthy, especially when it comes to large-breasted girls. But there's another sad aspect. There are a many more trustworthy boys than you think. And before you disagree, I'm sure that you would never have gained as much trust as you have in me if Julia hadn't put so much effort into making you see that. Knowing Julia, I'm sure she put a HUGE amount of effort into helping you see that; far more than she's told me she did. Am I right that you wouldn't have trusted me without Julia's huge effort, Chloe?"

Chloe answered sorrowfully, "Yeah. I'm sorry to say that she had to try very hard." In a much more upbeat tone, "But I TOTALLY trust you now!"

"No you don't Chloe, but that's a minor issue that I'll mention later. The point I want to make now is that if it hadn't been for Julia's exceptional efforts, you would have missed out on trusting me. I wonder how many other guys who're just as trustworthy as me you've missed out on finding out about?"

"Ha! Not very many, that's for SURE! None probably. There are no other boys like you Mark, I'm sure of that!"

"You might be right when it comes to my intelligence, and maybe in relatively useless things like running a 10k race very fast, but you're VERY wrong when it comes to trust. Robert is trustworthy. Julia's other brother Andrew is equally trustworthy. Being trustworthy is actually quite easy. The guy just has to value the girl as a person rather than as a sex object, and there are quite a few guys who're good enough to do that. I will admit that they're in the minority, but there are still many of them. The reason you haven't identified who they are, is because you refuse to believe they exist.

^-- "It may be unfair of me, but I'm going to drop that whole subject now. I only brought it up because Robert and Carol gave us such a good demonstration of trust. You can think about it in your own time. I'm not worried about it much, because your disbelief about other guys being trustworthy will correct itself in time, once you learn the other things I want you to learn. Which brings me back to my main subject.

^-- "I was saying before Robert came in that I was about to tell you what Julia calls 'The Secret', and that all of us will help you work on achieving it. I was just about to say that Julia will be surprised to hear that there are actually several secrets, not just one."

"There are?" asked both Chloe and Julia. Julia was particularly surprised, because I was going well off our agreed script. It'd only been an outline, but it outlined only one secret.

"Yeah." I was going to particularly enjoy the next little while, although I was sure I'd pay for it later. "Both of you, Julia and Chloe, have been far too simplistic, even naively so. Human beings are very complex, confused, contrary creatures. 'Crazy' sometimes too, just to throw in another appropriate 'C' word. Thinking I only had one reason for wanting Chloe to take her time, is as simplistic as Chloe thinking she trusts me totally, as she keeps claiming. Chloe was surprised I was soft when Carol got off my lap, so she didn't trust me not to be sexually attracted to my sister.

^-- "No! Don't worry, Chloe, that just makes you human. I'm rather glad you're human, haha. 99% of other people would've had the same suspicion, and most of them would've gotten upset just at the sight of Carol and me being naked together, let alone her climbing onto my lap. You reacted considerably better than most people would have. My point is that trust isn't a 'totally on' or 'totally off' thing. It's got all sorts of nuances and shades of gray.

^-- I couldn't resist it, so I added, "Anyway, the whole idea of my being sexually attracted to Carol is ridiculous. Sure she's a lovely person with a great body. I'm aware of that. But it's impossible to get my memories out of my mind. I remember her at every mealtime when she was one or two years old, and the DISGUSTING messes she made all over her face, the high chair, and virtually the entire kitchen. Even over me sometimes. She was GROSS! Haha. And don't start me on the mess she made in the living room the one time she got out of her diaper - YUCK! Believe me, those disgusting memories are indelibly burned into my poor brain. How could I possibly be sexually attracted to a girl who gave me those memories? Haha."

Carol and I had a little fun teasing each other following that. Chloe could wait.

Then I resumed my main thread, "Just as the trust issue is more complicated than you thought, Chloe, your becoming a good girlfriend for me is more complicated than Julia thought. In fact, considerably more complicated." I was going to enjoy the next bit. "Julia is often far too simplistic about people. Especially about teenage girls. There is nothing more complicated and confusing on the planet than teenage girls! They're a NIGHTMARE to try to understand, even for a genius like me, haha.

^-- "People are very complex, and there are always many, many issues going on. Juggling and balancing them all can be extremely difficult, especially because people often hide a lot of what's important to them." I was making up what I hoped was impressive sounding bullshit. It had no real informational content, but it made me sound good, everyone was nodding, and Julia was smiling proudly. "What I'm saying is that I have several reasons for wanting to make you develop and mature at your own pace, and Julia hasn't changed my mind about preferring that. But my preference isn't a strong one, and I can see that Julia is VERY upset about my going so slowly with you, so I'll let her have her way on this issue. I will give her what she wants, and what you want, by attempting to make you my girlfriend as quickly as possible.

^-- I interrupted Chloe's sudden burst of excitement. "BEFORE you get too excited, Chloe, there are a few more things I want to say. It's VERY hard to get the undivided attention of pretty girls, so I'm going to take full advantage of it while I can. First I want to tell Julia WHY I'm letting her get her way. I wouldn't normally give in to her just because she was upset about something. Normally I'd try to make her understand why she was wrong, but in this case I'm going to make her learn the lesson for herself. Julia was far too simplistic and naïve about your being a good girlfriend for me. There are all sorts of issues that Julia never thought of, and her believing that there was only one secret, was - quite frankly - silly. For YOUR own good, Julia and I are going to help you learn to become a good girlfriend for me. For JULIA'S own good, Julia is going to do exactly what I just said: help you learn to be a good girlfriend. The act of teaching you, will teach Julia how naïve she was. It will teach her to understand people better than her overly simplistic view. 'The teacher will learn from the pupil.' Different lessons - in fact, VERY different lessons - but of considerable benefit to both of you. You'll be traveling down the same road together, but you'll have quite different learning experiences. Do you both understand?"

They both did, and Carol too. Everyone thought I was a profound GENIUS! In reality, I'd just been unhappy with our planned excuse. We wanted Chloe to be more relaxed about her tits, but our justification for it had been weak. What I'd just done was simply to throw heaps of impressive sounding bullshit around, and pretend that I had many more very important and highly intelligent reasons. Which - and this is very important - I was NOT going to reveal.

When they'd finished gushing, I added, "Julia argued me into it, so Julia can take responsibility for making it happen. She will learn that people are much trickier than she thinks."

"You're right, Mark," agreed Julia. "I think I will learn that."

"Yes you will. You need to see the long-term implications of what you are trying to do. You created this, and now you're facing the consequences of it. There's a lesson in there somewhere for you." I was of course talking about me, not about Chloe. Julia understood that, and smiled widely in approval. And, I had no doubt, in anticipation of the revenge she was going to inflict on me when we were next alone.

^-- Back to Chloe though, as she was the one with the fantastic tits, not me. I said, "As I said, there are many issues facing you, Chloe. It would be unproductive, and even cruel, for me to list them now. All that would do would be to overwhelm and depress you. The fact of the matter is that I think you are already a lovely person. You KNOW that, because you accidentally overheard me say exactly that to Julia on one of those many occasions when I was hanging around inside the girls' bathroom, haha. So please don't take any of my criticisms as saying you're a bad person. You are a LOVELY person; that's why I'm happy to spend so much time thinking about you and talking with you. I'll tell you just three of my reasons. There are more, of course, because people are so complex, but these three are suitable for mentioning today. Of the three, there's only one that you need to start acting on, so don't be too daunted. I'm giving the other two just to help you understand the sort of things I'm thinking about.

^-- "The first reason - which isn't something you need to worry about now - is that you don't yet have a good understanding of what love is. You've said you love me a couple of times, which I treat as a very nice compliment, but you don't really understand what that means. You're naturally a very giving person, but when it comes to boys your defensiveness about your body gets in the way of your expressing your natural generosity of spirit. Love is, of course, a totally giving emotion. Until you learn to stop being so defensive, and stop shrinking inward so often, then you'll be unable to love properly.

^-- "I'm not talking about just with me either; I'm talking about with everybody. You need to destroy the chains that are holding your heart back, not just unlock them when you're alone with me, only to put them back whenever anyone else walks into the room. I am sure you'll be a very loving person when you free your heart, but right now you're far too suspicious to be able to give much. This is an issue for another day. I'm just planting a seed now, and you can think about it in your own time." I'd simply started with something from what Julia had said about her long lunchtime discussion with Chloe yesterday, and then built whatever crossed my mind on top of that start. My entire purpose in mentioning "Love" was simply to gain credibility by telling Chloe something she already agreed with.

^-- "My second reason - which will become the second thing you need to start working on, but not until the next reason is going well - is what Robert showed you: there are other trustworthy guys out there. You need to learn how to identify good guys and how to trust them. Your life will be lonely and unsuccessful if you don't. I fear, for example, how your career will go in whatever field you get into. You're likely to often have male bosses, male coworkers, male customers, etc. If you treat them all as negatively as you clearly treat every boy at school, then things aren't going to go well for you. You're so negative that you'll probably get fired from every job after a few weeks. In school you can mostly ignore all the boys, but that's not the case once you start working. Don't worry about that yet, as your career is a few years away. I'm just thinking ahead." Over the years I've heard stories about sexual problems at work from both of my parents, plus on TV too, so I knew it was a serious issue. Julia's and my excuse for Chloe to change as we wanted, was based (weakly, I thought) on "No man is an island" (or "girl" in her case). I'd spent some time trying to think of an example that could be relevant to her, and her career was the best I'd thought of.

^-- "Now I'll tell you the thing that I want you to start working on immediately. It may sound silly, but it's actually far more profound than it sounds." I'd said that because it DID sound silly, and because it was NOT much more profound. Well, maybe a little bit, but not nearly as much as Chloe's serious looking nods indicated she already thought it would be. "When a boy behaves like an immature asshole toward you, Chloe - makes a rude comment about your tits, for example - it just means that he's an immature asshole."

Chloe waited for the rest of it, then realized there wasn't any more. Thought about it a second, then said, "I don't understand?"

"It means he's a bad person. It does not mean YOU are bad in any way. Nor does it mean that every other boy is bad. If a boy behaves like an asshole, it just means that he's an asshole. I can see you don't understand, so I'll be very explicit. From now on I want you to start unbuttoning the top buttons of your blouses at school, and to start wearing lower cut..."

"Oh no! I COULDN'T!"

"Do you understand the consequences of that belief, Chloe?"

"Huh? No, what?"

"You are refusing to even try to be my girlfriend. That's a pity, because I thought you wanted to be my girlfriend."

"I DO! Umm. Do you mean I HAVE TO unbutton my blouses at school to be your girlfriend?"

"Yes. It's actually quite important to me."

"But... , but that's CRAZY! Why on Earth would you want me to do THAT! If you want to see my breasts, just ask. I'll show you now." Chloe was wearing jeans and a T-shirt, which she started pulling over the top of her head. She suddenly paused mid-pull, I suspect because she'd remembered there were other guys in the house, who - shudder - sometimes walked into the room!

She was looking at the door worriedly when I said, "Your stripping is pointless, Chloe. This has got nothing to do with what I want to see. I do NOT want to see your body until we are boyfriend and girlfriend. I didn't look at you in the girls' bathroom, and I won't look at you here."

Chloe pulled her T-shirt down in confused relief, then asked, "But I don't understand?"

"You didn't have any hesitation in calling my requirement 'CRAZY' though. You were quite scathing about it. Are you always so insulting about things you don't understand? I will often be doing things that you don't understand, and I don't want to be subjected to a tirade of insults and accusations every time you fail to be as intelligent as me."

#3: <That'll teach her! We can't have that sort of behavior from our girlfriends, especially not the big-titted ones, haha.>

"Oh no! I didn't mean it like that..."

"So you called me 'CRAZY' in a nice way. Is that what you're saying?" I tilted my head sideways and looked inquiringly at her.

^-- I let her absorb that little sarcastic blow, then I added, "When have I EVER done anything with you that was to my benefit rather than yours? Give me one single example of that? And while you're thinking about that, remind me how much you said you trusted me. 'Totally', wasn't it?"

Chloe's face fell in defeat, not helped by Julia's laughing at her.

Chloe looked at Julia, who said, "NOW can you imagine how difficult my argument with Mark was last night? You opened your mouth and shoved your foot all the way into it, and you've got no one to blame but yourself. You should've known better than to think Mark is crazy, let alone to accuse him of it. Let this be a lesson for you. If Mark does something you don't understand, even if it seems crazy, keep your accusations to yourself and POLITELY ask him for an explanation. Okay?"

Chloe contritely agreed, "Yes. Mark, I'm very sorry. I was totally, umm. I was totally out of line. I shouldn't have talked like that. Please forgive me?"

"Of course I forgive you, sweetie. But please be more careful in the future. You know me well enough by now to know that your accusation was completely unfounded. It wouldn't reflect well on your character if you repeated such behavior."

"I won't. It was just that it was such a shock."

"I know it was, and that's one of the reasons I forgave you so easily. I do have some bad news for you though: a lot of the things I'll do with you will shock you. You might have noticed that I have a rather unusual lifestyle? Naked sisters through to multiple girlfriends. Chances are that you're going to get shocked again, so you need to learn to be more careful."

"Yes. I understand that now. I'm sorry. I'll try to do better in the future."

"Good for you. My asking - actually 'requiring' - you to unbutton your blouses and to start wearing lower cut tops has got nothing to do with my seeing you like that. Even if we were in different schools, I'd be telling you to do exactly the same thing. It's entirely for your benefit." This was mostly true. I would've been happy to take Chloe to bed now, but Julia wanted to use the opportunity to start changing Chloe's attitudes so she would have a better life. "Judging by your, 'That's crazy' comment, I'm guessing you don't understand?"

"Umm, no. Sorry."

"That's okay. You'll often not understand my reasons for doing things. Julia can tell you she often has that problem."

Julia instantly agreed, "Oh yes. Very, very often. Almost all the time. He's a very incomprehensible boy, haha."

"Thank you very much, Julia. You're rarely so enthusiastically agreeable." I reached over, grabbed her, and pulled her onto my lap. "So I can more easily get hold of you, to show you my appreciation, the next time you're so agreeable about a self-depreciating joke of mine."

"Eek! {Giggle}."

"Chloe, now that I have Julia firmly under my thumb, back to your issue. Have you heard the expression, 'No man is an island'?"