Chapter 149: Dad Meets the "Killers"

Friday, April 29, 2005 (Continued)

At the Williams', I had the opportunity to briefly pull Julia and Carol away to another room, tell them what I was going to do, quell their laughter, then tell them what I wanted them to do. Then we all went up to Julia's bedroom, Donna and The Boys excepted.

To the four parents I said, "I have a few reasons for showing you what I'm about to show you, but the most recent reason is to address Mom's concern at my ability to handle someone attacking me with a gun." Which immediately created a serious atmosphere in the room.

^-- "Prof isn't credible as a scary person, so Dad, you're going to have to play the role of the 'violently deranged homicidal idiot'. Do you think you can do that? Haha." Plus I didn't want to kill Prof by giving him a heart attack.

I made Mom, Vanessa and Prof sit on the bed, leaning on the headboard with their feet down the bed. I got Carol and Julia to sit on either side of them, telling them, "Carol and Julia. When this starts, it's likely that one of the parents will try to get off the bed. Your job is to hold them back. That's important, okay. It could be dangerous if people are running around randomly, just like it would be dangerous in a real combat situation." Knowing that I was just setting up the parents with a good dollop of bullshit, my two girls had to struggle to avoid laughing. They managed to nod seriously.

I placed Dad at the opposite end of the room, by the door. Julia's room had a vanity table with a wide-topped stool, very much like a piano stool. I took it over to near Dad, and stood it on its end a few feet in from the door's wall. I told Dad to pretend he was standing in a hallway, and the side of the stool represented the side of the doorway into the living room at the Eatons' house. Admittedly the pretend-one-sided-doorway was only about two feet tall, but we could extend it higher in our imaginations. While he was pretending things, I also gave Dad one of Julia's many hairbrushes to use as a pretend gun. (Why would someone need three different hairbrushes?)

I got Dad to crouch behind the stool, as crouching would work better, with the 'gun' in his hand. "If it helps you get in character as a mean, nasty, angry man, pretend I've just crashed your car, haha."

I was going to cheat horribly, by making blobs fly all around Dad. If he'd been standing in a real hallway, I wouldn't have had line of sight, but despite what I'd said in my explanation to the parents, the purpose of the demo wasn't anything to do with being a realistic combat simulation.

As I walked back to my position at the other side of the room, leaving Dad crouching behind the stool, I put on a severe, concerned tone of voice, and addressed the adults on the bed, "No matter what happens, everyone else please stay EXACTLY where you are. Don't even THINK about getting off the bed. Apart from anything else, there's a mean, nasty, hairbrush-armed criminal on the loose."

^-- I got some chuckles, which I probably shouldn't have gone for, as I was trying to build a scary mood, so I added, "I mean what I say about not moving. Hang onto each other, and DON'T move."

By now I was in position. I turned to face Dad, and started my demonstration. I was going to pretend that blobs were sentient, as that was far more scary and made all sorts of interesting ideas possible, so I held one hand palm up in front of me, and loudly called, "KILLER! COME!"

A head-sized, bright red blob - red being the color Dad would hopefully associate with danger - appeared above my palm. I immediately pointed my other hand at Dad and yelled, "GET HIM!" The blob instantly flew rapidly across the room, straight at Dad's head.

Dad fell on his ass and scrambled backward to get out of the way. I had the blob shoot through the area where Dad's head had been, then start to circle up and around in a cool-looking curve, ready to line up for another 'attack' on Dad.

Meanwhile all the other parents had reacted, Mom especially, who was starting to get off the bed, presumably to run to Dad's defense. I have no idea what she thought she was going to do when she got there, but I yelled, "MOM! FREEZE! They're DANGEROUS!" I'd said "they're" even though there was only one as I thought that made the effect seem more believable, and also because there'd be more shortly.

The blob made another swooping dive for Dad's head. Dad threw himself flat to avoid it. The blob flew back to the center of the room, and quickly split into two blobs, each about three-quarters of the original size. They separated and moved to be able to attack Dad from two directions. One of them darted in quickly, then darted back out again as Dad threw himself sideways and attempted to swing his fist at it. While Dad was distracted, the other blob charged in, apparently missing but scarily streaking right past Dad's eyes.

Dad was more than enough freaked out by now; WAY more than enough actually. Plus the hairbrush was where I wanted it. Dad had dropped it right at the beginning, and I'd NP'd it sideways along the floor while everyone else was totally distracted. I held up both my hands palm up, and commanded the blobs, "KILLERS! RETURN!"

They returned to me (as Killers go, they're very obedient ones). They were quickly hovering over my palms, and I commanded them, "Summon an Immobilizer!"

They shot into the center of the room, high up near the ceiling, then they started orbiting in a circle about two feet in diameter, accelerating rapidly. Within a couple of seconds they were a blur. A small, dark green blob appeared about three feet below them, and rapidly grew in size. Soon it was the largest size I could create, about six feet in diameter. I called, "ENOUGH." The 'Killer' blobs instantly stopped. I held up my palms, and they both returned to hover above them. I instructed, "IMMOBILIZER, force that man," nodding toward Dad, "into the corner of the room, and hold him there. If he tries to escape, shock him unconscious."

"Oh no!" from Mom. Dad didn't look too pleased either.

The Immobilizer blob advanced on Dad. A six-foot diameter blob is DAMNED near impossible to dodge, especially when Killer blobs are hovering one on either side of it, to block any possible escape path.

I called, "Dad, QUICKLY! Crouch into the corner of the room, then DO NOT MOVE!"

The blobs were already herding him toward a corner, so he didn't have far to go. He followed my instructions to the letter. The blobs were at maximum brightness, but were still somewhat transparent, so we could see what Dad was doing. One red blob shot up, so it was directly above Dad's extremely fearful head. That blob moved a little, circling and bobbing slowly, seeming very alert.

The large, green blob moved so that Dad was squeezed into the corner rather than risk touching the "Immobilizer".

The last Killer blob flew toward the bed, to 'inspect' the people on it. It hovered above Julia's chest, about three feet away from her, then moved slowly sideways, 'looking' at everyone. The adults shrank back from it.

After it had 'looked at' Carol, it flew to me, stopping a couple of feet in front of my face. I said, "Guard the bed. If anyone tries to get off, you know what to do."

It nodded up and down a couple of times, then flew itself to above the center of the bed. NO ONE was going to move.

I told everyone, "Provided no one moves, nothing bad will happen." Also even if they did move, but I didn't mention that.

I let them experience their imprisonment for a few seconds, while I deliberately walked across the room to demonstrate that I had complete freedom.

Dad's leg must've been getting uncomfortable, as he changed his position. The red blob above him dropped alarmingly and the green blob moved a little closer too. Mom shrieked a warning, Dad looked up, then froze rock solid. The red blob appeared to think about it, circled around a little, then raised itself back to its lookout position just below the ceiling. The green blob backed off a little too. The adults all breathed a sigh of relief.

I reached the place in the room I wanted to be: near where I'd NP'd the hairbrush along the floor, and where I could also see Dad and the bed, one eye on each. I NP-flew the hairbrush up to about shoulder height, about three feet from me and pointing at Dad. They all saw the movement, and saw that it was pointed at Dad. I said, "If this was a real gun, I could be pulling the trigger now. Even if I was fifty feet away, I could be pulling the trigger with my ability. Any guy who comes after me with a pistol is quite likely going to end up looking down the barrel of his own gun. Perhaps fatally, if the situation demands it."

#2: <Here's an idea. Let's say we do get into a life-or-death fight with a REALLY bad guy, and we end up with his gun like we have now. We might not want to risk being charged with his murder. We could call the cops, but we might not want the bad guy to be arrested because he could tell the cops about our light blobs and the flying gun. When the cops arrive, we could arrange things so cops and us could see each other, but only we could see the bad guy. Say we're standing in the doorway of the house, he's inside and the cops are outside. From the doorway we could use NP to pull the trigger to shoot him in the head at the same time as the cops are seeing us with our empty hands in the air. They might have forensic questions later, but we could simply say he must've committed suicide somehow when the cops arrived. There won't be any of our fingerprints on it, or that gunpowder residue they test people's hands for. That's presuming pistols don't weigh too much for us to lift with NP, and that we don't mind being that bloodthirsty. Personally, if someone tries to kill us, I don't feel much reluctance about killing him. If we let him go, we could very easily be killing ourselves if he talks about what happened to him.>

#1: <Good point, and good idea overall, I think. It'd be best to avoid doing that to someone like Don Eaton, who was just an idiot as far as I could tell, but we could do the world a favor by getting rid of a truly bad man. If an attacker makes a situation so threatening that we have to use blobs and NP openly, then they've probably earned themselves whatever we do to them.>

#3: <No problem with me either. Small point - are we sure NP-fingertips don't have fingerprints? We should check that.>

[Next time we had a chance we tested that. It wasn't easy, but I managed to hold a sandwich out of my mouth long enough to push an NP-fingertip into the butter. The impression was perfectly smooth, with no hint of a fingerprint. And as #4 pointed out, fingerprints are caused by the skin's oil. It was pretty unlikely that NP-fingertips produced oil.]

Mom started saying something, so the red blob guarding the bed zoomed to be above her but lower than it had been. That shut her up! If only it was always that easy.

I instructed the blob, "It's okay. Let her talk."

It raised itself a little. Mom added doubtful to her look of extreme worry, but she said, "How much danger is Steven in?"

I was about to end the demonstration anyway, so I used Mom's question by answering, "None whatsoever. None of you are in danger, or ever were. These things couldn't harm a fly. They're an optical illusion only." I canceled all the blobs, then corrected, "Maybe not 'illusion'. Optical 'effect' would be a better description."

The parents were in too much shock to respond quickly, but Julia and Carol started laughing. They'd been barely able to hold it in before, so now they let loose. Their laughter and complete absence of blobs sped the parents' recoveries considerably.

I said, "You can stand up, Dad. The ENTIRE thing was a fake. You were never in any danger, except maybe of wetting your pants. I'm sorry I scared you so much but Mom made a big deal about how stupid I was, and she needed to see that I have some unusual and highly effective ways of defending myself." I half-feared I'd be severely told off for scaring everybody so badly, so I was getting in a preemptive shifting of the blame.

Dad asked, still fearfully, "They're not really aliens?"

I laughed at the idea.

#1: <Good for Dad though, for not thinking they were demons or some other religious mumbo-jumbo crap.>

I said, "They were effectively an optical illusion. You could've stood up and walked right through them. You wouldn't even have felt anything. Stand up, Dad, and come sit with the others. I'll explain." I helped him to his feet, as he was a bit wobbly.

I got them all to sit on the bed normally, fetched the stool so I could sit on it facing them, which immediately created two additional seats for my wives, one on each of my legs. With my arms around my girls, I started explaining blobs to the parents. "I create them myself. They are my creation and completely under my control. They're not aliens, demons or any other figment of humanity's collective imagination." I was referring to demons. Personally I've always thought aliens were far more likely than not. Virtually certain, in fact, given the immensity of the Universe. [[True many times over, as I later learned. There actually are several races of aliens who do look quite similar to the blobs I used on this day, as spheres are an energy-efficient shape for a formless (usually a cloud of particles) life. I find the coincidence amusing.]]

When the parents had calmed down enough, I created a small blob in front of the girls. As my hands were full of girls - a highly satisfactory situation that needed no changing - I got the girls to wave their hands through the blob. This caused some concern among the parents, but before they could do anything about it, the girls had already waved several times.

After a bit more encouragement, I got the parents doing the same thing. They started understanding my, "It's just light" comment. I added, "You're not frightened of walking through a flashlight beam are you? Or the main light in this room is on, so you're walking though light all the time."

The comparisons weren't fair ones, and Prof was soon commenting on the difference, "But we're passing our hands through the SOURCE of the light. Lightbulbs get hot and have a physical presence, but there's none of that here."

I wasn't going to talk about heat blobs, mainly because they'd just confuse the issue, so I simply said, "Yes, you're right. I'm creating the light out of nothing. I don't understand all the issues involved, but it's pure energy of a particular frequency and therefore color, so it doesn't need a filament, or a flame like a candle does. It's also related to my NP, although exactly how is unclear to me. I just know that I can create them in lots of different colors, sizes, and brightnesses. I can also fly them around, just like I can use NP to fly things around."

I created a wide variety of new blobs, and had them fly around for a few seconds, then canceled all but one, which I had expand and shrink, change color, change luminosity. Then I stabilized it, and flew it through my and the girls' bodies. That shocked the parents again. It's one thing to wave your hands through something; it's a much scarier experience to see that something fly through a loved-one's body. I repeated, "Relax, it's just light." The girls helped by giggling. It's what girls do best; that and clothes shopping.

Dad eventually got it. He said, "I could have stood up and walked through them any time I wanted?"

"Sure. They're just light. Not even bright light. You're surrounded by light all the time, and it doesn't do you any harm. You can't even feel it."

"I've never been so terrified IN MY LIFE! I thought I was a goner; and it was NOTHING the whole time. I can't believe how stupid I was!"

"You weren't stupid. Every other adult was equally fooled. Personally I'm impressed you handled it so well. I was prepared to get rid of them the instant I thought I'd pushed you too far, but you didn't freak out as you could well have. Mom was just as scared as you were. When Mom tried to speak I shut her up just by moving the red blob - I call them 'light blobs', by the way - by moving it closer to her. You know how hard it is to shut Mom up, so she must've been as terrified of them as you were, haha.

^-- "Look, I know I scared you all a great deal. Perhaps I even scared you too much, but if I'd shown you these things in a harmless way and then described how I'd handle an attacker, you'd never believe me about how scary they can be. More to the point, MOM would never have believed me. Mom was getting thoughtlessly motherly on me, and she needed to see that I can defend myself a great deal better than a normal boy can. I had a fit, strong, grown man cowering in fear in the corner of the room without my needing to get within ten feet of him. And I just realized I missed the PERFECT opportunity to ask for an increase in my allowance! Damn, haha.

^-- "Dad was calm and collected when we started, and he trusted me because I'm his son. Imagine someone like Don who was already worked up and panicky. He would've TOTALLY freaked out. If Don had gotten hold of a gun, and dropped it like Dad did, then I would fetched it the way I did the hairbrush, so then he'd be defenseless and I'd have the gun. If he'd kept the gun, he probably would have shot all his bullets at the blobs, which would've been completely ineffective because he couldn't kill light, then I could knock him out the same way I did all the others.

^-- "There are other possible scenarios, like if Don had charged at one of the blobs. There were things I could have done then too. So I wasn't very concerned about Don having a gun. I was pleased he only had a knife, that was trivially easy to take care of, but even a gun wouldn't have been a big deal."

[In case you're wondering what I would have done if Dad had charged at a blob. If I thought Dad was too emotional, I'd have canceled all the blobs and ended the demo. But if he looked relatively okay, I would've backed the green blob away to avoid contact, then had a red blob swoop through Dad's ankles at the same time as I ankle-tapped him. He would've thought the blob did it. While he was crashed on the floor I would have parked a blob on his head and NP-pressed the top of his skull, verbally warning him, "DON'T MOVE, DAD! These things eat people's brains!" Years of watching silly science fiction movies being put to good use. Personally, if I'd been Dad, red spheres were zooming around the room, one had tripped me up, and one was pressing on the top of my delicious skull, then I would've held very, very still. Maybe you're braver than me?]

There were a few other issues that came up. Mom complained, "But they were intelligent." I created a large, green frog, and had it jump around the room while I said "Ribbit" a few times. Then I explained that they were just blobs that were moving in a way that SEEMED intelligent, but were really just something I was making them do to seem that way.

I had a bit of fun adding, "I'll prove it to you Mom." I created a new blob, made it hover in front of me. I asked it, "Tell me blob, are you intelligent?" The blob 'shook its head' (moved from side to side). I said, "See Mom. Even it agrees it's not intelligent, haha." It nodded its agreement. My sense of humor was a bit much for Mom initially, but Prof had a good laugh.

^-- "Just because something looks like something, that doesn't mean it is. For example, my hand looks like a gun." I held it up, in the classic forefinger-extended, thumb-raised, other-fingers-closed shape. When they were watching, I 'shot' it three times, each time calling out "Bang" and moving my thumb momentarily forward. Three red 'bullets' streaked out, disappearing when they hit the opposite wall.

^-- "Those weren't real bullets, of course. They were just small blobs that I made you think could be bullets. Watch, and I'll shoot Prof. Before anyone could react too much, I shot Prof three times, having the bullets pass straight through his stomach and out the other side. That got their attention! To his credit Prof just laughed, because he understood by now.