Chapter 141: Visiting Katelin Eaton's Family

Thursday, April 28, 2005 (Continued)

Katelin was bouncing up and down outside her home when I pulled up. She bounced around to the driver's door and pulled me out of the car. "Come on! I can't wait to introduce you to my family."

I was dragged inside. I immediately recognized the two youngest boys. One was a senior, which was pretty much all I knew about him. The youngest was a guy called Gunner, currently in the 9th grade. He'd been in some of my 8th grade classes last year and he was a bully. He'd caused me some trouble, even in just the few months before I'd been advanced out of his reach, from middle school to 9th grade in high school.

"Haha!" Gunner laughed with contempt. "I wondered whether my stupid sister's latest BOY-friend was you. 'Martial arts expert' - ha! You're a pussy."

One of the older boys asked, "You know him, Gunner?"

"Yeah. He was in my class some of last year. A pathetic wimp. Even Katelin can do better than him."

#1: <We're off to a good start. Ideas anyone?>

#2: <Let's get the introductions done, at least. Greet her parents and that sort of thing. We can ignore his insults. We already know what sort of guy Gunner is, so let's get to know the rest of the family.>

Before I could move, Katelin sprang to my defense, "Shut it, Gunner! Mark's the most incredible guy I've ever..."

I could see that Gunner was going to come straight back at her, and a big argument was not something I wanted. So I interrupted, "Katelin, let everyone say whatever they want. Remember that I came here to see how your family chooses to behave." I didn't know what her family would think of my statement, but I didn't care either. I'd be out of here soon, probably never to return.

I could see Katelin relax, so I took the couple of steps necessary to reach her parents, extended my hand, and said, "Nice to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Eaton. I'm Mark Anderson. I'm in several of your daughter's classes at school."

#1: <What do you think of parents who let their son insult a guest like Gunner did?>

#2: <Not a lot. On the other hand they look friendly enough, smiling and all that.>

While we were shaking hands, Mrs. Eaton said, "Yes, we know all about you. Katelin's been singing your praises nonstop for the last couple of days. You've made a very strong impression, young man."

"He's not a man, he's a wimp."

I ignored Gunner, but Mrs. Eaton ordered, "Shut it, Gunner."

#3: <Oh dear. Not exactly high-class, are they?>

#2: <No. That was clear already, from their house and cars. Doesn't mean they can't be good people though.>

Mr. Eaton, while he was shaking my hand, said, "Sorry about Gunner. He shouldn't talk like that to Katelin's new boyfriend."

#1: <Or to anyone else, come to that.>

Katelin said, "Dad! I keep telling you, Mark's not my boyfriend. He's Julia's boyfriend."

Mrs. Eaton chuckled, then added, "You praise a boy so much and he comes to visit, then he's your boyfriend. Doesn't matter how much you say he's not."

"I'm not Katelin's boyfriend, Mrs. Eaton. It's nice that she thinks enough of me to praise me, but that's not enough to create a relationship between us. And I've only visited today so when Katelin talks about her family with me, I can put faces to names. That's why I'll only be here for a few minutes. Speaking of names, I don't know the names of your other three sons yet."

Katelin and her mom both responded to the hint. I let Mrs. Eaton lead me from son to son. I hoped Katelin would get the hint that I wanted her to be passive. It wasn't important, but I'd rather get to know everyone else.

I was first introduced to Don, the oldest, then Junior, the second oldest of the five children. They didn't bother explaining the inappropriateness of his name.

While Junior was shaking my hand, he started squeezing it extremely hard. It hurt, although it was bearable. I didn't have much of a plan for this visit, other than studying their natural reactions. If I started a whole lot of drama, nothing would be 'natural' about whatever followed. It was more interesting and useful for me just to let them do their things, so I ignored the pain, standing there and taking it. While Junior was squeezing, I had an idea, #1: <Hey, how about we try to mentally get rid of the pain. Like we can go-soft, get rid of nervous symptoms, and that sort of stuff. We should be able to turn the pain off, shouldn't we?>

#2: <Give it a try, #1.>

So I imagined the pain disappearing... , and it did. Cool.

#3: <How about letting a little bit of the pain through. We do want to know what is going on with our hand, in case things start breaking. Bodies feel pain for a good reason.>

#1: <Good thinking. I'll turn it all back on, then try dialing it way down.>

That was very easy too. We settled on about 10% of the pain coming through, which wasn't much more than a slight annoyance.

Mrs. Eaton had moved on to introduce me to the next son. She started speaking, "This is Wayne..."

I interrupted, "Excuse me, Mrs. Eaton. I'll be with you in a minute or two. I have to wait until Junior gets tired of trying to break my hand."

Everyone looked at Junior. It was obvious from the tension in his hand and face that he was squeezing very hard.

"Junior!" yelled his father. "Let go," A message he reinforced with a slap across the back of Junior's head.

Junior was letting go anyway. Being a very cool sort of guy, I immediately moved to son number three, stuck out my hand, and said, "Pleased to meet you, Wayne."

He looked at my hand, then up and me, "How's your hand?"

"It's fine. Just between you and me, I don't think Junior's very strong. Not if he can't hurt a - what did Gunner call me? - 'pathetic wimp'. I've seen you around school. You're a senior aren't you?"

"Yeah. Nearly finished, thank God. I've seen you too, you're 'Egg', aren't you?"

"Yes, that's me."

Wayne turned to Katelin and asked her, "Why didn't you say your new boyfriend was Egg?"

"He's NOT my boyfriend! He's Julia's boyfriend. Why can't you get that?"

#2: <What do you guys think of our saying that Katelin's not good enough for us, and seeing how the family reacts? Especially if any of her brothers defend her.>

#3: <It's a bit extreme, isn't it? Her parents aren't going to like it, and aren't going to like us for saying it.>

#1: <I think it's too extreme. Maybe we can use it at very end, if we have to, but I'd rather carry on much as we are now.>

#2: <Okay.>

Wayne corrected, "Why didn't you say your FRIEND was Egg?"

"I don't know. I didn't think about it."

Wayne told everyone else, "Egg means Eccentric Graceful Genius. That's what you are, isn't it, Mark?"

"That's what the letters stand for, yes. I am those three things; to some degree anyway."

"You're a smart-ass," declared Junior.

"That would make my nickname 'Eggsa', which doesn't work so well, so I don't think it'll catch on."

#2: <Can I add some sort of joke about Junior being a silly name for the second oldest out of five?>

#3: <Let's not drop down to their level. Name calling is a little beneath us, isn't it?>

Katelin said, "I told you Mark would be good at dance, Mom. He's even got 'Graceful' in his nickname."

#1: <Haha. Her brothers are going to love that comment!>

Sure enough, that provoked laughter from all five males, the father included. Can't say I was too surprised by that. He was a short but very physical looking guy. Wide shoulders, thick arms, and that sort of thing. He looked very strong, and I was mighty glad he hadn't tried to squeeze my hand. I could easily imagine that'd cause real damage.

#3: <This whole family is treating us with contempt. Katelin excepted, of course. We don't have ANY credibility here. If she ever needs our help with her family, we're not going to be able to deliver any. It's even worse than our being useless, because Katelin defending us will damage her credibility, and if they deride us after we leave, Katelin may lose respect for us too, or get in a huge fight trying to defend us. I hate to say this, but I think we need to do something to establish some respect, rather than just go with the flow the way we are.>

#2: <Like what?>

#3: <I don't know; I haven't got that far. You agree the problem exists though, don't you?>

#1, #2: <Yeah.>

#2: <Something to do with martial arts? They're all into that, and we should be able to do something to impress them. Let's head down that path slowly, to give us time to think of something.>

The laughter was running out, so I put a puzzled expression on my face, and asked, "I'm surprised ANY of the males laughed at my being graceful, let alone all of you. Katelin told me you were all into various martial arts, so surely you understand what my being graceful means?"

They didn't. I got blank looks and, "What?" | "It means you're a sissy, haha." | "It doesn't mean anything."

#1: <Just out of curiosity, what does it mean?>

#2: <I don't know. I'm just making up crap like we normally do. I'm thinking we should do some mystical martial art head-game crap on them. Like you hear some old Chinese guy saying in martial arts movies. Nothing they say makes any sense, but it sounds impressive. We can't compete with these guys physically, but it shouldn't be hard to run circles around them in the brain department. Even our really only having 105 IQ points probably puts us a long way ahead of these dummies, and there are three of us active in here.>

#3: <Sounds like fun. The meaning of graceful is easy to answer, it indicates a high level of martial arts ability, like our Sensei shows when he moves.>

#2: <Yeah, that was the direction I was going in, after I dressed it up a lot more. And I just had a good idea, listen to this.>

"Whatever martial arts each of you do, have you spent a lot of time training with the very top grades? With fourth dan or above, say, depending on what your terminology is? Wayne, have you trained at that level?"

"No."

"Don? Junior? Gunner? Mr. Eaton?"

All of them answered in the negative.

#2: <That's VERY good to know. None of these guys are fourth dan or above, thank God. They'd eat us for breakfast if they were.> ("Dan" is how grades above black belt are counted. Higher dan numbers are better. 1st, 2nd and 3rd dans are good, going on very good. 4th and 5th dan are seriously good. 6th dan and above are awesomely good, and increasingly rare.)

"Do any of you regularly train at any level of a single black belt or above? Wayne?"

I was asking Wayne first, because I thought he was the one most likely to answer me, hopefully encouraging the others to do so too. Again all the answers were in the negative.

#2: <So none of these guys are very good. That's a relief. If they're not a black belt or better, then there's not much point in asking their grades, is there? I don't know what the order of the belt colors is. Do any of you know that?>

#1, #3: <No.>

#2: <So it'd tell us nothing if one of them said "I'm a blue belt", or whatever. Not to mention that I haven't got a clue how other martial arts do these things, and don't want to show our ignorance as that'd destroy the bullshit we're intending to shovel. I'll stop trying to find out any more about their abilities, and carry on with the grace thing.>

"But you've all watched people of that level train, haven't you?"

"Sure. So what?"

"Have you noticed that every advanced martial artist moves with grace?"

#1: <Do they? In every martial art, I mean?>

#2: <All the fight scenes I've seen in the movies seem very graceful, so I guess they do.>

#3: <If you can't learn about real life from Hollywood, where else can you?>

"You're not a black belt! You're a wimp. A pathetic, pussy wimp," opined Gunner, earning him some laughs.

"I did not claim to be a black belt. Nor a 'pathetic pussy wimp' either, come to that. I was explaining why I was surprised that you laughed at the idea of someone being graceful. I would've thought that given your interests in martial arts, and that top-level practitioners are all graceful, then gracefulness would be something you'd admire and respect. But I'm starting to think that respect is not something that happens a lot around here. Do any of you respect your sister for bringing her friend to this house?"

"Haha, don't be stupid," was the consensus of their replies.

Katelin said, "I told you, Mark. They're all pains!"

I'd seen enough of her family now; more than enough, actually. I would've left now, except that I needed to do something to give myself some credibility, and then I needed to hit them over the head with my credibility, so Katelin could achieve something with them. Time to move to the next stage. I wasn't sure what it'd be yet, except that it was different than this stage, and it'd be happening next.

While a couple of them were jeering back at her, I said - loudly over the jeers, so everyone could hear it - "Katelin, I've only heard one comment that concerns me here, and you just made it. Your brothers are playing childish status games with me, but they're meaningless because their opinions are irrelevant to my life. But your comment made them retaliate in kind, and causes long-term destruction within your family. I'm walking away in a few minutes but you live here. Your comment was unnecessary, destructive and foolish. Can you tell me a SINGLE way in which your comment was useful, helpful or otherwise positive?"

Katelin hung her head, saying, "No Mark. I'm sorry."

I knew someone would, but if they hadn't, I would've raised the issue anyway. It was Mrs. Eaton who asked, "What was that about?"

We were all still standing, which was silly. It wouldn't do any harm to remind them of decent social etiquette, so I said, "It was about Katelin's brothers. I am here today because of them. Before I explain that, may we please sit down in the living room, and Katelin, would you get me a glass of milk please?"

"Yes, Mark, sorry."

"You don't need to apologize for that." As far as I was concerned, Mrs. Eaton should have been the apologizer. However, she did herd us all into the living room while Katelin was getting my drink.

Don wandered off too, returning with beers for all the guys, except a coke for Gunner. Gunner greeted that with a disgusted, "Coke!" I was disgusted too, over his clearly being allowed beer normally.

Katelin brought me a glass of milk, and I patted my lap for her to sit on. She looked surprised, but quickly jumped on and I put my spare hand around her waist. A development that did not go uncommented on by her brothers. I chose to respond to Gunner, as he was the one I knew my comment would most likely apply to, and the one I was safest goading, "I like having a nice, pretty girl sit on my lap. You should try it some time."

As expected, his older brothers immediately teased him about not having a girlfriend to do it with.

When I got a chance, I said, "Gee Gunner. The pathetic pussy wimp can get a pretty girl to sit on his lap, but you can't. You're obviously very clever with words, so how would you describe a boy who's even worse than a 'pathetic pussy wimp'?"

Gunner leaped to his feet, with - I noticed - clenched fists, "Why you asshole..."

Before anything could start, I said in a totally relaxed fashion, "Thanks, Gunner. You can sit down now. You've done what I wanted."

"What?"

"I just wanted to check something, and I have now, so thanks very much." Ignoring Gunner, because I was fairly safely hidden under Katelin, I turned to Mrs. Eaton and said, "You asked me what's going on. The answer to that is your daughter has asked me to help her improve her relationships with her brothers. I have come here today to see what they and their relationships with Katelin are like. It's now clear to me that they do not deserve the badmouthing Katelin has been giving them, and she's been well out of line to do so."

"What!" shrieked Katelin, rapidly spinning on my lap, so she could yell in my face. "They're assholes! They've been horrible to you from the moment you arrived. How can you possibly..." I opened my legs, causing Katelin to suddenly fall to the floor. It proved to be an extremely effective way of shutting her up.

I told her, "I like NICE girls sitting on my lap. A nice girl wouldn't have spoken the way you did, would she, Katelin?"

^-- While Katelin was thinking about that, I tried for some comic relief. I looked at Mrs. Eaton, saying, "See! Do you believe I'm not Katelin's boyfriend now? Haha. I wouldn't DARE do that to my girlfriend."

^-- Mr. Eaton was not amused. He was the opposite of that, and he was about to express it. Before he ordered me out of his house, I quickly said, "Sir, I owe you an apology and explanation. I am VERY sorry that I have angered you, and very sorry that you think I am treating your daughter badly."

^-- Katelin had just got to her feet, so I asked her, "Katelin, why did I shock you like that? Answer carefully, because your father will kick me out of his house otherwise."

"I'm kicking you out right fucking now! Get outta here, and don't you ever..."

"Dad! PLEASE let him stay. It was ALL my fault." Katelin looked at me, and asked, "Right?"

"I wouldn't have done it otherwise."

Facing her father again, Katelin said, "I DESERVED it, Daddy. I want Mark to stay. PLEASE."

Katelin paused, so I jumped in with, "Sir, I did that because Katelin had asked me to. Have you ever had to repair a piece a machinery and the best way to get the stupid thing to work is to give it whack with a hammer?" Mr. Eaton looked like a hammer-whacking type of guy. "Katelin needed a jolt. She wasn't hurt or injured, she was just surprised. I've told her over and over again not to badmouth her brothers. I have tried asking nicely several times but she won't stop doing it. Now she might think twice before she causes trouble."

"I deserved it, Daddy. Mark keeps telling me to mind what I say, but I keep opening my big mouth. I don't mind that he did it to me."

Mr. Eaton was relaxing, so I said, "Don't tell my girlfriend I'd noticed, but Katelin's ass has got PLENTY of padding, so it wouldn't have hurt her at all."

There were some chuckles at that. Katelin pretended outrage, but even she chuckled. Luckily it was obvious I was joking. Katelin is slim, fit, and does a lot of dance, so she has a particularly nice ass.

I patted my lap, saying, "Katelin, sit."

She sat on my lap, but gingerly, so I said, "Don't worry, Katelin. You're perfectly safe provided you don't badmouth your brothers again."

^-- I turned to her father. "Sir, there are two ways of helping someone. You can tell them what they need to do then walk away, leaving them to hopefully do it alone. Or the second way, which is much better. That's where you roll up your sleeves, stick your hands into the mess, and work with the person you're helping. Katelin has asked me to help her in the second way, and she gave me permission to do it in whatever way I thought best. To her CONSIDERABLE surprise, I thought it was best to dump her ass on the floor. Some of my methods are unusual, but Katelin knows she can tell me to stop helping her whenever she wants. She trusts me though. That's why she asked for my help in the first place, why she asked you to let me stay, and why she's sitting on my lap again. You didn't know any of that background, so I apologize for not taking that into consideration when I decided how to respond to Katelin's misbehavior. I could easily have done something else, and in hindsight doing what I did in front of her parents wasn't the smartest thing I've ever done. On the other hand, it was an EXCELLENT way of shutting her up. I had no idea I could stop a girl talking so quickly."

#3: <We're saying too much again.>

[[This is something I found very hard to resist, especially now that I was starting to get some self-confidence with people. By the time one mind stops talking, the other two have had ideas of their own. By the time they've had their turns, the first mind has had more ideas, etc. It's especially common in important situations because each mind wants us to do the best possible job. It's a frequent consequence of my unusual thought processes, so I've left it in rather than only giving one mind's speech. The purpose of this autobiography is to teach you about me, so abridging my speech is not appropriate. In this specific case, my speech had also become more 'proper', in an unconscious reaction to my poor opinion of the Eatons. This was another consequence of my gaining confidence, because it was making me a bit of a smart-ass, as I'd recently been accused.]]

Since the vast majority of my audience was male, that went down well. When the chuckles were over, I said, "Katelin, returning to what we were discussing before. I believe I had just said your brothers did not deserve the badmouthing you had been giving them, and you were out of line to do so. If I remember correctly, you had a strong reaction to that. Would you like to try expressing your reaction again? Unless you want your ass to meet the floor again, you should probably use different words than last time."

"Umm. I was surprised you said that."

"That's a very cautious version. I wonder why, haha. I seem to remember that you also strongly disagreed, especially because of the way your brothers had treated me since I arrived. Correct?"

"Yes. They were horrible. Squeezing your hand, calling you names... ,"

"I can remember what they did. I don't need you to list their every action for me. Do you think you are a good person, Katelin?"

"Yes. Ahh, yes. Mostly I am."

"But since I arrived, EVERYTHING you've said to or about your brothers has been unpleasant, if not downright nasty. Without doubt your brothers have said a lot of bad things too. If you think you're a good person even though you talk badly, why can't they be good people too? The answer is that you are all good people.

^-- "You want to improve your relationships with your brothers, that's the desire of a good heart. Your brothers aren't nasty or malicious toward you. They ARE stupidly macho, but that's to be expected in a family with so many males. There's so much young male behavior in this house, and it's been here for so many years, that it's become a habit for all of you. 'Young male behavior' is the LAST behavior you want inside a family, because it's competitive, destructive and isolating. It makes everyone lonely and unhappy."

Unfortunately the boys started making nasty comments, some aimed at me, some at Katelin.

My two non-speaking minds, with a little back and forth with the speaking mind, had been brainstorming how to impress the boys using martial arts, preferably without getting ourselves beaten to a pulp in the process. We'd decided on several impressive looking tricks making good use of my special abilities. Now seemed like a good time to start on them.

"I can see it's pointless for me to talk any more about this now, because none of you think I have any credibility. I think I should change my approach. How about I give you some martial arts demonstrations instead. How does that sound?"

Everyone's interest was suddenly raised.

Gunner declared, "You don't know ANYTHING. You're a bag of shit."

Don asked, "What could a smart-ass BOY like you possibly show us!"

#2: <I know what we agreed on, but I don't want to do that anymore. Other than Katelin, the rest of this family has treated us appallingly. This is what I want to do... >

We discussed #2's idea, and after much thought decided, <What the hell, let's do it.>

I said, "I'm leaving. From the moment I arrived in this house I was insulted, abused, ridiculed and physically attacked. All of which was entirely undeserved, as I have been nothing but a polite and respectful guest in your home. It's especially annoying, because I came here to help you. You call yourselves martial artists, but all you do is bring shame on yourselves, and shame on whatever arts you pretend to study. You're so full of unwarranted aggressive competitiveness that you have no concept of human decency anymore. I don't like you, and I don't want to spend any more time in your company. Sorry Katelin, but your brothers are obnoxious. I'm leaving. See you at school."

I had gently pushed Katelin off my lap during my speech and I was standing by now. The derisory comments had started halfway through, and had risen to shouts by the end of it. Apparently they didn't take kindly to my insult-then-leave approach, exactly as I'd intended.

I walked toward the door. Junior jumped into the way. "You're not running away you cowardly asshole." He carried on with more insults, but I ignored them.

I turned to the father, and said loudly, "Mr. Eaton. Are you going to tell your sons not to kidnap me, or do I have to fight my way out?"

"You're a big mouthed smart-ass, kid. This's your own fuckin' fault."

"Have it your way, sir."

Katelin had been running from brother to brother, and then to her dad, begging everyone to leave me alone. They'd been ignoring her at best, usually roughly pushing her away. She never stopped trying though, bless her.

Mrs. Eaton was sitting in her chair, totally uselessly. Mr. Eaton was leaning back in his chair, with a grin of anticipation on his face.

The door out of the room was now blocked by Don, Junior and Gunner, all grinning or yelling the worst insults they could think up. Wayne was standing to the side of the living room. He was not goading me, but he was alert. I had the feeling he would watch rather than participate, which was very welcome, as he'd be coming from another direction which would've made my plan much less likely to succeed.

I was standing in the middle of the room. I mentally rehearsed the sequence of events that I wanted, planned where I had to step, and what blows I was going to make. I was confident enough of the sequence I had planned that I thought I could make the "martial arts demonstration" even more effective by using only my right hand, so I reached down with my left hand to pick up my still half-full glass of milk. I could drop it quickly enough if things turned out worse than I expected. Or I could even throw it in one or maybe two of their faces, their temporary blindness buying me some more time.

I took a small sip, stalling for time while I used some NP-fingertips to push against one of my own eyeballs. I started with a light push - of course! - and increased it until it felt painful. It required a maximum push from one mind into one eyeball to feel painful. I wanted more than mere "painful", but not too much more, so I'd use one and half minds per eyeball. That was actually the maximum force I had if I did both eyeballs at the same time, which is what I preferred, so my NP force was only just strong enough. It was possible I might have been able to use Active Centering to get two minds' of force per eyeball, but I didn't want to risk losing center during a fight, and I was pretty sure one and half minds' force would be enough, and two minds would probably be dangerously too much.

Still holding the glass, I addressed the three boys blocking the door. "I'm not going to attack you. It'd be unfair of me to attack idiots as stupid as you. I'm going to finish my drink and then use my cellphone to call my parents to come and get me." I tapped my pocket. "I expect you three cowards will stand there the whole time, like the pathetic little pussies you are."

They'd already gotten themselves wound right up, and that easily got them to charge me. Gunner had been displaced from the prime spot in front of the door by his bigger brothers, so he necessarily had to wait for Don and Junior to be the first wave. Those two charged straight at me.

I let Don take a few steps to get him close enough to me for the following to be plausible. I VERY quickly stepped forward, shot my right hand with two fingers extended directly toward his eyes, then I rapidly backpedaled while withdrawing my arm. It looked like a stiff-fingered jab, except that I got no closer than two yards away from Don. At the instant my fingers were closest to his eyeballs, I max-NP'd one and a half mind's fingertips into each of those eyeballs (two minds made one fingertip each, the third mind made two, putting one each behind the first minds' fingertips to help push).

Don screamed and his hands flew to his eyes. While Don's eyes were shut and covered with his hands, I NP-pushed his rear foot behind his front one. He tripped and went down, screaming "My EYES!"

Junior looked sideways at Don at the same time as I NP-tripped him in exactly the same way as I had Don, thankful that I'd practiced this on so many running jocks at school. Junior tripped and started falling toward me, ruining his ability to defend himself.