Chapter 135: World-Record Marathon

Wednesday, April 27, 2005 (Continued)

Ava was waiting for us at home, so all I had to do was run in, change into somewhat more suitable attire than my school clothes, and then run out again. Donna was already in the car, eager to get my run started. I directed Ava to the road Julia and I had decided on.

Once we arrived there, I got Ava to measure the length of the segment that I would run back and forth on. It was 6.4 miles, so a marathon would require two "backs", two "forths" and an extra 0.6 miles to make up the full distance, marathons being 26.2 miles long. There was the issue of the car's odometer not being considered very accurate, but I waved it away uncaringly, saying "Let's measure 27 miles then, so there's no doubt." So we found the point that was 1.4 miles into the fifth leg.

Ava said, "You are going to be cursing that extra distance when you have to run it."

"We'll see. I think you might be surprised about that."

Just before I started running, when we were parked on the side of the road, I said, "Now listen VERY carefully you two, I'm about to say something very serious. Ava, this is an ORDER, and you know what that means, don't you?"

"Oh. Yes, I understand." Her face became suddenly serious, so I knew she did.

"Donna, I want you to understand that what I am going to tell you is VERY important, okay. I know you'll have no idea why, and may even disagree with me, but I don't care about any of that. I am TELLING you something, and if you disagree I'll tell Ava to immediately take you home, okay?"

"Okay. What is it?"

"I don't want either of you to tell ANYBODY about this run. Not what my time was, nor any general comments about how fast or slow I was. Not even that I ran a marathon. Don't raise the subject of my running today, and if anyone asks about it, say you were too busy talking to each other to pay any attention to me. Do you understand? I don't want ANYBODY to know ANYTHING. That's very important to me. Have you got it?"

Ava nodded, but Donna asked, "Why not?" I was very pleased to see by Ava's wince that she recognized that as a "Why?" question, and that they were bad.

I answered, "I'm not going to tell you. All you need to know is that I do not want anybody to know anything about it. I don't even want them to know that something interesting happened, so if someone asks you about it, don't say 'I'm not allowed to answer, ' because that'd make them curious. Just say something innocent, like, 'I don't know, I was too busy talking.' Do you understand?"

Donna repeated, "Don't tell anybody anything?" I nodded. "What about Mom and Dad or Carol?"

I'd forgotten about Carol, and my first thought was that it would be okay to tell Carol. But, on second thought, it'd be a better test to exclude everyone. I'd warn Carol and Julia to tell me if Donna or Ava blabbed to them.

I answered, "Not ANYBODY! Not Mom, Dad or Carol. Not Julia either. It's good you checked with me what I meant, but in this case I truly mean nobody at all. Okay?"

Ava asked, "What about if you have a medical problem and we need to call for help?"

"Good question, Ava. In that case you can certainly call for help. I'd still prefer you not to mention 'marathon' or my time though - just say I was running for a while. You can tell them for how long if they absolutely need it, but I shouldn't think so. If you do need to tell them, tell me later who you told and what you said to them. Do you both fully understand what I want?"

Ava did, but Donna wanted to know, "But why can't I tell Carol? She's your..."

Fortunately I was paying full attention to Donna, because I had a flash of where that "she's your" was going, especially after the so recent conversation about Carol and me having babies together.

I interrupted damned fast, "DONNA! I am well aware that Carol is my SISTER. I don't need you to remind me of that." By the look on Donna's face, it was obvious that "sister" had not been her next word, and she knew that I knew. I commanded, "There will be NO more conversation about why. I have told you what I want. Do you understand it or not?"

"Yes, Mark. I'm very sorry," from a VERY contrite Donna.

It would've been ironic for Donna to let that piece of information slip, given that the entire purpose of this run was because it was too dangerous to test Ava with that exact knowledge, it being one of of my "Big 3" secrets: Carol, NP and blobs. I'm not counting the BIG, "End of Human Civilization" secret. That's so secret it's NEVER going to be on any list. I made a mental note to read Donna the riot act for her almost-slip at the first opportunity, and could tell she was expecting it. The fact that I'd let slip the baby thing in the car wasn't going to hold me back.

There were a few minor details to arrange, such as how to get water and food to me, as apparently food as well as water was a good idea. We decided to have Ava drive alongside me and Donna would pass it out her window. I warned the girls not to worry about the pace I would be running, and that I would be careful not to overexert myself. I suggested that Donna get out of the car and run with me sometimes, just to check everything was okay, and so she could reassure Ava. We synchronized watches.

After all the hassle of the preparation, the rest of it was relatively easy. I warmed up, something my soccer coach always insists on before any training or games, waited until our watches were on a convenient time, then I started running.

I wanted to do a very good time, to excite the girls more and make the blab test more meaningful, so I deliberately nudged above what I thought my optimal speed was. Feeling the first effects of fatigue prompted me to slow fractionally, and after the usual slow-down-to-recover-then-speed-up-again process, I was soon running at my slightly faster new optimal rate, without the cast and with being centered.

With the superb degree of muscular control I have, I can hold a specific pace very accurately. Having said that, I would occasionally nudge it up a bit, just to check that I did start to get fatigued, then I'd drop back to my optimal rate. That meant I was running with a small amount of fatigue, but it was very small and not worth worrying about. It was actually useful, because if it reduced then it told me that I wasn't running fast enough.

Clearly I could have run faster if I'd been willing to accept the consequent fatigue. After all, every other marathon runner fatigues themselves! I didn't want to do that. My total lack of experience at long-distance running could easily lead me into making an error, and I especially wanted to see if I could do this with negligible fatigue, which meant no wall hitting. According to the website I'd read, the human body doesn't contain enough glycogen to run more than about twenty miles, especially at the speed I'd be going and with my lack of preparation to build up my body's ability to store glycogen (although I think I'd accidentally done one thing right: I'd carb' loaded before the run. "Pizza, food of champions!"). If I did run out of glycogen I'd certainly feel it, as the website said it felt like an elephant jumping onto your back, which didn't sound like the sort of thing you'd fail to notice. If I felt the elephant, that'd mean that running drew energy from my body.

After one mile, Ava and Donna told me, "You're going WAY too fast. You won't last the distance. Slow down."

I assured them that everything was fine.

After two miles my reassurance had worn off, and they urged me to slow down again.

I tried, "It's not a serious race. If I get tired I'll stop. Don't worry about it."

Ditto with minor variations at the three-mile mark.

I amused myself by thinking: 26 miles in about 1 hour 50 minutes means I'm going at something like 14 miles per hour. Each mile takes about (and here's where you can tell I'm good at mathematics) 1/14th of an hour. Call it 4 minutes. If Ava drives alongside me for one minute every mile, urging me to slow down, that's going to be 25% of the total running time. That's an awful lot of conversation. I don't think a real marathon runner would appreciate that. I just chuckled though. Not only did I think that I didn't use glycogen, I didn't seem to use much oxygen either. I could probably sing the whole way, which would have the benefit of forcing Ava and Donna to drive farther away, because I'm a REALLY bad singer.

The next time they pulled up to warn me to slow down (every four and a bit minutes, regular as clockwork), I decided to start singing as they got close. Loudly and happily. They got the hint, or maybe it just hurt them too much.

I was offered some water around the five-mile mark. Accompanied by some expression of concern at how fast I was going.

"I'm perfectly fine, I promise. If you're not careful, I'll start singing.

Just before the first turnaround, the girls started getting very excited, screaming at me to "Keep going!"

#4: <Has anyone noticed that girls are inconsistent?>

#2: <Yeah, but they only do it sometimes.>

I kept going, pretty much at exactly the same speed I'd been doing when they'd been telling me to slow down.

Ava zoomed ahead in the car, parked, and they both got out and impatiently waited for me to reach them. They were jumping up and down. I had time to realize probably what for. I wasn't sure of the facts, but I knew they'd soon confirm it if I was right.

Sure enough, as soon as I was close Donna started yelling, "Faster! Go faster!"

All I did was yell ahead, "I wish you'd make up your minds."

"You'll beat the WORLD RECORD."

"That's nice. For what?" I continued my current speed.

"10k. Where we're standing is where we think 10k is. You're beating the record. Run faster, come on!"

"Why run faster?"

"So you can beat it by MORE!"

I was very close to them now, so could talk more conversationally, "But I'm running a marathon, not a 10k."

Ava said, "You'll never finish a marathon at this pace." Personally I thought I'd finish a marathon at exactly this pace.

I was close enough to them now, and obviously not going to speed up, that they just watched, eyes glued to their watches, which was silly as they'd only estimated the distance.

As I crossed their estimated not-finish line they both squealed and tried to hug me. I'm inexperienced at running marathons, but I was pretty sure it'd be quite a lot harder with two girls hanging off me, so I dodged around them (thanks to proximity), and kept on running. That was not what they expected, and they stood dumbstruck.

I called back, "Catch up and run with me for a while. You can pick up the car on the way back." It wasn't too far to the turnaround and back to the car, so they could both do it at this pace.

They sprinted up to then fell in beside me. They wanted to rave about the time. I disappointed them greatly by saying, "It's nice that you're excited, but I'm here to run a marathon." My margin over the 10k world record, by their figuring, was about forty seconds, which was hardly impressive. Well, I had to admit, beating any world record should probably be considered impressive, but not nearly as impressive as shaving fifteen minutes off the marathon record was going to be.

I continued, "I asked you to run alongside me to remind you of my request before the race. Don't tell ANYBODY ANYTHING, remember?"

"But," pointed out Donna, "you just ran a WORLD RECORD. Don't you want to tell Carol? You MUST want to tell Carol!"

"If I want to tell her, then I will. But YOU will not tell anyone."

"But..."

"There is no 'but' Donna. You promised not to tell anyone, and I'm holding you to it."

"I didn't actually say 'I promise'."

"That's true, you didn't. I was assuming you were an adult and didn't need to be forced to say 'I promise' like you were a little child. If you insist on being treated as a child, then I can do that too, for years if necessary." One important consequence of which Donna was very aware of.

"But why don't you want Carol to know?"

"That's not what I said Donna. I might tell her, or maybe I'll tell Mom and Dad and they'll tell Carol. None of that is the issue. What I want is for YOU not to tell anybody. If you can't do that, then Ava can easily drive you home right now, then come back here while I'm still running."

"Argh! It's not fair. Why won't you let me tell anyone?"

"You know, Donna, there are a lot of things I could say to make this easier for you - to calm you down and make you feel happier - but I'm not going to say a single one of them. You made a commitment to me, and you understand what that commitment requires. If you break that commitment, the consequences will be on your head."

Part of Donna's trouble included that she was not disciplined enough to be able to draw clear lines between events. She should be happy at my running success, and treat the restriction as another issue. But that wasn't happening; Donna was unhappy about everything, and heading toward being pissed off, because I was being so unreasonable.

Ava asked, "Can I try to cheer Donna up?" I'd been deliberating keeping Ava out of the conversation, because I wanted her to be as free as possible to keep or break my order, but I had no reason to disallow her request. It wasn't going to take us much longer to reach the car, so I said, "Sure, but I'll say something first. Donna, I'm disappointed in you. You accepted the rules before I started running, and all I've done is remind you of what you agreed to, so it's unfair of you to get in a bad mood about it. I thought it would be fun to have you come with us, but I'm starting to regret allowing it now. I'm almost tempted to ask Ava not to cheer you up, because it'd serve you right to stew in your own juices for while. Ava can try though, but wait until you're in the car so you can leave me out of it."

I knew I was being mean, especially as I could easily think of several ways of cheering her up, but Donna was going to have to learn to accept my restrictions, whether she understood them or not, otherwise things like NP and blobs would never be shown to her. I'd much rather make an ugly scene out of this than anything really important.

We arrived back at the car and the girls got in it and resumed driving behind me.

Four minutes don't take long to pass (well, they take pretty close to four minutes, but you know what I mean), and girls talk slowly, so I covered quite a few miles while the girls talked, broken occasionally by Ava sticking her head out of the window to yell, "Do you need anything Mark?"

"I'm fine."

Close to the second turnaround Ava drove ahead and parked her car facing in the direction of my third leg. She got out and waited for me to reach her, then ran along with me.

Ava looked me up and down critically. "You're not far from the halfway point now."

"Yeah, I know."

"You look the same as when you started. How do you feel?"

"The same as when I started. Running like this is not difficult for me."

"So I see. You're not even sweating much, are you?"

"No. I don't sweat much these days."

"I noticed that last night too. I wish I had a thermometer; I'd like to know whether you're losing body heat properly. You should be sweating more. With anyone else, I'd think they were dehydrated and get them to start drinking plenty of water, but I'm worried about doing that with you."

"Why?"

"Too much water can make you sick."

"Water? Really?"

"Yes, quite badly. It can even cause death. It's a common problem with marathon runners, although usually slow ones. Dehydration can be a serious problem too, especially with a good runner. I wish I understood your physiology better, because I can't decide whether to give you a lot of water, or just small amounts."

#3: <This is the girl who says she has to work hard to keep up at school? She sounds like a doctor.>

She sounded even more like a doctor after another minute, during which she'd asked me about a long list of symptoms for dehydration and over-hydration. It's a comforting feeling to have a girlfriend who's interested in my possible diarrhea. Ava decided I was not dehydrated, and prescribed an energy bar and a limited water intake. How were my feet? Any chaffing? And a few other such questions. Everything was fine.

"Your pace is extraordinary. You know that, don't you?"

"Yes."

"How long can you keep to this pace?"

"I expect for 26.2 miles."

Ava looked at her watch, then said, "We're almost exactly at the halfway point, which makes it 55 minutes for the half. One hour 50 for the full if you hold the pace. That's MILES under the world record. You knew this was going to happen, didn't you?"

"I was pretty sure, yes. I always run very fast when there's a good meal waiting at the end of it. Changing the subject, how's Donna?"

"Sulking a little. I don't know her so I didn't do a very good job of cheering her up. Your time for the half will get her attention though."

"Don't worry too much about Donna. It'll do her good to have to accept some frustration and she bounces back quickly."

We were coming up to the car, so Ava slowed down. I waved to Donna on the way past, but I didn't get a return wave.

Halfway down the third leg the car pulled up beside me and Donna passed me a water bottle, accompanied with, "I'm sorry Mark."

"What are you sorry for, sweetie?"

"Umm. Arguing with you."

"Especially for losing the argument, I bet?"

Donna smiled, "Yeah. Especially that!"

"Why shouldn't you have argued with me?"

"Ava told me. Because you'd made a decision and I had to follow it. I didn't have a good reason to get you to change your decision. I was just being a spoiled little girl who wanted to get her way with everything." Which explained why it took Donna so long to get over her sulk.

"I bet you didn't like to be told that, did you?"

"No. Are you really going to finish in one fifty?"

"I'm a little worried about the wall, but if that doesn't affect me, then I should be well under two hours, yes."

"That's impossible, you know?"

"It'll be interesting to see then, won't it?"

"I'll say! I'm glad you let me come. Sorry I was so bad before."

"I'm glad you're here too, sweetie. I'd give you a kiss, but it's a bit awkward now."

"That's okay. You can give me TWO at the end, {giggle}."

Ava decided that was the end of the conversation, and pulled the car back. There were cars passing in either direction from time to time, so she had to be careful.

Ava and Donna both accompanied me on either side of the third turnaround. Ava took me through the list of symptoms again, none of which I had, not even the trots, which Donna thought was a humorous pun.

Ava warned me, "You could hit the wall at any time. I'm worried that there's just Donna and me to help you, so if you hit it, just let your speed drop way down and let me come check you out, okay?"

"Okay. But I feel fine so I don't think I'll hit it."

"You'll feel fine right up to the time you hit it. That's why it's called the wall."

That made sense. An elephant jumping on my back would be a sudden development. "Got it. I'll just say, 'So far so good' then."

Ava drove behind me as usual, except maybe a little farther back in case I suddenly slowed down, but she was easily close enough to see that I was running fine. Donna frequently stuck her head out to call out "How you doing?" But my answer was always the same. Physically I was fine. Mentally, other than my nervousness over hitting the wall, I was mostly bored. If it wasn't for the bouncing up and down, it would've been good to bring a book to read. That'd almost be doable, because I could have one eyeball pointed down at the book, and the other eyeball watching where I was running.

I'd expected Ava to park the car at the 27-mile finishing line when I crossed it the penultimate time, so the girls could run with me from there to the turnaround, then back to the finish for the last time, but they stayed in the car behind me when I passed that point. Shortly thereafter she pulled ahead and parked at the 26.2-mile finishing point.

When I'd caught up they fell into step with me. Doctor West checked me over, then I said, "I see you stopped at 26.2. I think I'd prefer to run to 27 miles. I don't see any reason why not, and I'd like to be sure that I actually did a marathon, rather than have any doubts."

"It's going to add about three minutes to your time."

"To borrow Donna's word, that's the difference between impossible, and three minutes faster than impossible. I don't think it matters."

The car had been parked 0.6 miles from the turnaround, making it a 1.2-mile round trip back to it, much farther than the distance the girls normally ran with me. They were having to push themselves hard to keep up with me, so even before we reached the turnaround I said, "Wait for me here, and I'll go to the turnaround and back here alone." They readily agreed, and even walked slowly back to the car, to reduce the distance they'd have to run when I got back to them.

I completed the turnaround and was soon back with them. As we ran to the car, Ava remarked, "I can't believe you're doing this."

"You're just going to have to believe it. I don't want to miss dinner by doing it again for you."

Donna proudly declared, "I believe it! Mark's VERY special."

I smiled as I joked, "You're not too bad yourself, especially at sucking up!"

As we approached the car, Ava looked at her watch, waited for me to reach the point we'd chosen, and then declared, "One hour forty nine, and twenty three seconds."

"Wow," said Donna.

"Wow indeed," agreed Ava.

"See you in three minutes," I waved back at them.

They soon overtook me in the car, and were waiting at the second finish line when I crossed it.

"One hour fifty two, and forty five seconds."

I couldn't reply, as Donna was collecting kisses. Apparently the interest rate for slow payment on kisses is exorbitant. Ava demanded her fair share, which seemed reasonable to me.

When the initial euphoria was over, the girls wanted to talk. They had a lot to say, none of which mattered to me. I said, "Let's head home. We can talk in the car, if you must." I got in the car, which was a hint they couldn't ignore.

In the car, Ava's first questions were about my health, even having to restrain Donna while she did so. It didn't take long though, as there was nothing to report.

Ava commented, "But you're not even tired. That's not natural."

I didn't want her thinking to go down that road, so I borrowed from the genetic mutation hypothesis, "It's natural, but in a new way. I'll explain that more later. Don't worry about it now." Mainly because Donna was about to burst with excitement.

On the way back to my place they bombarded me with squeals, questions and comments. All predictable and ultimately irrelevant. When they slowed down enough that I had a good chance to complete a full sentence, I said, "None of that really matters. I wanted to try it, and it went how I thought it would. Thank you both very much for your help, I appreciated having you both with me. And now it's over, does anyone know what we're having for dinner?"

It wasn't that easy, and I had to reinforce the message a few times. "Running is NOT important to me. It's very 'not important.' In fact, it's rather boring. You both enjoy it, and that's good for you, but it's not for me. Just like I enjoy math and you don't. I'll do the 10k run on Saturday as I promised Donna, and that's the last run I intend to do which involves a measured distance or a stopwatch. By the way, Donna - in case you're wondering - I will NOT be running Saturday's 10k in a world-record time. I'll aim for whatever time I ran the original race in. I need to look that up. Where can I find that out?"

Both girls told me my time.

"Thanks. I'll need to work out the lap times so I can adjust my speed on Saturday."

The girls quickly worked that out for me.

#3: <School obviously doesn't motivate students properly. Both girls are average at school, yet they can do metric to imperial conversions, divisions by weird lap distances, and give the answer in minutes and seconds. Quickly too.>

#1: <They've probably done it hundreds of times, and there are bound to be mental shortcuts. Still, it was impressive. Maybe the Principal should hand out clothing store vouchers to the top students. That'd motivate all the girls, at least.>

"By the way, Ava, did you know I was going to the running club on Saturday? To repeat my 10k run, as you just heard."

"Yeah, Donna told me all about it while we were driving."

Ava eventually raised the issue I hoped she would, "You're not going to let me tell my parents, are you?" I was very glad she asked, because it proved she was thinking about things. Always a good trait in a girl you could well end up giving really big secrets too. Importantly, it almost certainly meant she wouldn't tell her parents about it, which would be a very impressive way of passing my trustworthiness test.

"No, I'm not. I had already made that decision before I ordered you not to tell anyone."

"You know that tonight is super-important to me, and that my parents have to be impressed by you?"

"Yes, I know."

"You're being the world's fastest marathoner by fifteen minutes is VERY impressive! I can't believe how stupid that statement is! It's FAR more than impressive, it's mind-blowing. Whatever it is, I'd LOVE to be allowed to tell my parents about it."

"I'm sure you would, but the answer is still 'No.' Don't worry too much about impressing your parents, because you'll have help with that. Julia enjoys nothing more than convincing people that I'm impressive."

"Haha. That's true. All right, if that's how you want it."

Donna opened her mouth, but that's as far as I let her get. I said, "Donna, are you about to do what I think, AGAIN?" Donna decided that she wasn't.

I could have made the point that my being a fast long-distance runner was hardly a relevant qualification for supporting and helping the West's daughter. Maybe 100,000 years ago, for Mr. and Mrs. Ug's daughter, when hunting was an essential male skill. But being able to run down antelope wasn't high on the list of desirable boyfriend traits these days. I didn't mention this, because I wanted Ava to remain tempted otherwise it wasn't a test. For that reason, I didn't say anything else either.

#1: <No 'wall', it seems. If that's true, we must get energy from elsewhere than inside our body, which would make us somewhat unusual.>

#3: <It would be relatively easy to track our food carefully, to measure our caloric inputs. Weigh ourselves before and after, and estimate the calories of exercise we'd done. I think all that sort of stuff is fairly easily researchable.>

#2: <There are a couple of issues. First, we decided that we eat so much these days to power all our minds. That's going to introduce a substantial uncertainty because none of the research will know anything about the effects of that. Second, it'll be pain to do the experiment, and at the end all we'll have is a number of calories we can't explain. I don't really care what that number is. Whether it's a hundred, a thousand, or a million, it doesn't tell us anything useful. It's "how?" we want answered, not "how much?">

#1: <The problem being that the only clue we have is "From the Universe," which doesn't exactly narrow it down much, does it?>

#3: <No, especially because it could easily be wrong, as it's just from those Aikido books and there's no indication that they know what they're talking about any better than we do. Sensei doesn't seem to have any idea about most of our abilities, or how precise the ones he has some knowledge of are. If there are even better aikidoka, with more advanced ki techniques, you'd think he'd talk about them when he's talking about how little he understands our progress.>

#2: <If the energy isn't from the Universe, were could it be from?>

#1: <It could be virtually anything. Maybe little green men on Mars are beaming energy to Earth that we can somehow receive. Maybe Atlantis existed and they're doing something similar. Maybe we're just picking up all the TV and radio signals that are in the air, there are plenty of those.>

#3: <I've never noticed anything, but we could walk around a TV and look for interference.>

#1: <The TV's antenna is on the roof, so that'd be difficult. We could easily do it with a portable radio, but I don't have any belief in the idea because I'm sure all those waves are far too weak to power what we can do. Plus we can talk fine on our cellphone most of the time. Little green men on Mars is more likely than our picking up radio and TV signals.>

#3: <Which isn't very likely.>

#1: <Not green ones, no, haha. I've got no idea where it's coming from.>