Chapter 111: Hot Tub Party; 8-Ball Demonstration

Sunday, April 24, 2005 (Continued)

Donna is competitive and has to see people trying hard to beat her for her to enjoy playing games with them, so whenever we goof off these days, I always handicap myself. I enjoy it more that way too. We negotiate, and something renegotiate, the handicaps with the various games we play, or maybe we just make up a new game heavily slanted in her favor to make it a challenge. With 8-ball, I wouldn't use any TK (Donna doesn't know about that anyway), and I told her that I'd never play direct shots but would always use a cushion or an extra ball somewhere in the shot, and Donna could have two shots in a row unless she fouled. I didn't tell her, but I also decided to play this game right-handed only. Not so much to help Donna, but because I expected to have some fun with that later.

More and more spectators drifted in, initially the clothed ones, but later more of the girls I tended to prefer. They watched and noticed the strange way Donna and I were playing, unless they were totally ignorant about the game. I was asked about it, and told them, "It's my handicap, so we've got a fair game."

Donna exclaimed, "Mark's the BEST at EVERYTHING. No one can EVER beat him." Donna's childish loyalty earned her several condescending laughs, which she VERY much did not appreciate!

Donna face hardened, and she turned to face the girls. I hurriedly rushed to her side and hugged her, "Let it go, Donna. I'll show them later, after we've finished our games." Julia was certain to insist on that anyway. I kissed Donna on the top of the head, "Make your shot, sweetie."

Sweetie, not exactly living up to her name, firmly told all the girls, "You're all STUPID!" Then she turned back to the game.

Trying to clear the air, I said, "It'd be a REALLY good idea not to insult me in front of my sister when she's holding a big stick. You might regret that, haha."

"We didn't insult you."

"Some of you laughed condescendingly at Donna's praise of me. That IS an insult to me, and to Donna, although she didn't care about that. You don't have a leg to stand on, so let it go."

They let it go. A couple of the girls immediately said "Sorry Mark." One said, "Sorry Donna," which pleased me a whole lot more. All the other girls caught on, and the apologies flew for a few seconds.

Girls continued to drift in, and a couple of minutes later one of them asked, "Why are they playing so strangely?"

The early arrivals leaped to explain, before Donna could get involved.

The spectators were THOROUGHLY enjoying the game. Seeing me bend, stretch, twist, etc., gave them a perverted thrill. For example, sooner or later (and it was unfortunately sooner, especially as I was playing only right-handed) I had a difficult shot. I started laying myself across the table the way you sometimes have to in this game. The rules require that one foot has to be on the floor, and that can result in shots with widely spread legs when the other one has to be on the table. Several girls walked to a better position straight behind me and started making impolitely detailed anatomically comments.

I froze, wondering which of the two options - proceeding with this shot, or getting off the table to play a modest duff shot - would make me look the least like a complete dick. It wasn't an easy decision, but my dignity was pretty much ruined already, so I played the shot. I missed and got several appreciative claps.

Then there was the time I had to lay myself on the edge of the table to make a shot, then adjust my position because the edge dug into somewhere I didn't want any digging to occur in, I got several laughing offers to hold my "sensitive bits out of the way." The girls were having a great time. Girls don't seem to have any shame at the best of times, and a room full of them concentrating on pulling the leg - or thereabouts - of a single naked boy, was about as far as I could get from the "best of times".

Julia wandered in and stood beside me while I was waiting for Donna to take her turn. I had just started talking to Julia when I proximity sensed Hannah walk up behind me. I could tell she was trying to 'hide' by the way she was tiptoeing and 'curled in on herself.'

[Proximity operates over 360 degrees. More accurately, it's almost certainly a three-foot radius sphere, although I haven't tested that thoroughly. As long as I'm centered, it's functioning. It's not like sight, in that it only detects intentions (even in dogs and cats, you might be amused to know. Both with very much less ki than humans, and that of cats barely detectable). But like sight, I don't have any problem processing the input. Now that I'm much more used to it, I don't get swamped by all the input. Your seeing a hundred people is no "harder" than seeing one. If they're further away, or in front of each other, you might miss some details, but it's not "harder" to process. Neither proximity nor sight takes any noticeable effort to use. If someone walks to within three feet of me, then I not only CAN - but I DO - proximity sense them, just like I would see them visually if they walked in front of me. So sensing Hannah was automatic and effortless. Once she was in range, it was easy to sense that she was "hiding", because she was trying to think herself 'small'. Ironically, it was her desire to be inconspicuous that gave her away).]

Remembering our little game at the pizzeria, I kept looking straight ahead, and said loudly, "Are we still playing that game, Hannah?"

"Argh! How do you do that?"

"There are ways." An innocuous answer, I thought, especially in making it a plural. I knew only one way to do it: kill myself twice, center myself, and have a previous experience of someone in my proximity sense so I knew what they 'looked' like. But for all I know, there might also be other ways.

"No. Seriously. How do you do that?"

"Seriously, I'm not going to tell you. It amuses me to frustrate you. Call it my revenge for trying to use me as a giant vibrator. It's not my fault if you can't work it out for yourself."

"But there's no glass that'd reflect on me the way we're standing, and I just got out of the tub so I smell the same as everyone else that's been in it, especially you."

That last point was quite clever, especially if she'd been aware of it when she'd chosen to time her 'sneak attack' now. I was a little impressed, but that was NOT going to induce me into telling her how I'd done it! I didn't want her to become fixated on discovering how it worked, as that could become a nuisance, so I said, "I'll play this game no more than TWO more times with you Hannah, just to frustrate you further. After that I won't say anything when you try it, so you'll never know whether I knew or not. You may think you're smart, but as Julia insists, you're not as smart as I am." The last point had nothing to do with anything, except that it made my 'trick' sound more natural. She does seem to consider herself smart, so taking her down a peg or two might be a good idea.

It was my turn to shoot, so I resumed the game.

Several minutes later one of the girls said, "Hey! Donna voted for stripping, so she has to strip too."

Donna was still dressed. She'd gotten dressed before the voting occurred, and then got distracted by the "Charge of the Crazy Girls", being pushed away by them, and my suggesting that she went to set up an 8-ball game. Donna said, "Oh yeah. I forgot." She put her stick down, and moved to unbutton her top.

I said, "Hang on, Donna." Turning to the girl who'd spotted the discrepancy, I said, "My sisters NEVER 'have to strip'. Second, Julia made the girls who voted that way strip to be fair to me, because if they were getting the pleasure of seeing me, it'd be fair if I got the pleasure of seeing them. That reason doesn't apply between my sisters and me, because there's no sexual interest between us. Third, you heard my sisters' logic, twisted as it was. They voted that way because they thought it would be fun and good for me. In other words, for MY benefit rather than THEIRS, so they have no need to 'pay' for their vote."

"Oh yeah. Sorry Mark. I didn't think about it before I spoke."

"And I overreacted to your comment. I'm sorry for that. I know it wasn't meant in any bad way. I'm just overprotective of my sisters, I guess. I'll take my arguments back, because they weren't called for. Sorry."

I could happily take them back, as they'd had their effect now, reinforcing Julia's themes of no sexual interest in our family (somewhat erroneous!), and my being a protective brother (which was much more accurate).

Donna said, "I better take off my clothes then."

"Why?" I asked in surprise.

"Because my reason was different than Carol's. I just thought you'd look REALLY silly playing 8-ball with no clothes on. And you do! It's great fun watching you, haha."

Loudly, over the laughter and - I'm sorry to say - enthusiastic agreement, I yelled, "You SCAMP! Get those clothes off, you little devil."

Donna, laughing as she did so, threw them off, and into a pile on the floor.

When she was finished, and turned back to the game, Julia said, "Put your clothes into a cubbyhole, Donna. We'll wait for you."

"Oh yeah. Sorry."

While Donna was running to comply, Julia said, "Mark's comments reminded me. I should have said earlier that if any of you naked girls feel uncomfortable, you can get dressed again. Don't feel honor bound because of your vote. That was just a game. You can ALWAYS dress or undress in this house, in whichever way makes you feel happiest, or that you think will give you the best chance of attracting Mark. It's completely up to you."

It truly was up to them. Julia was just letting them know that'd they'd be dishonorable and stupid to do it. Julia should probably have mentioned it ten minutes or so ago, before they'd become used to being naked around me. Snigger.

One of the clothed girls asked, "Can I get HALF undressed, Julia?"

"STUPID ME! Of course you can! Sorry. I completely forgot about that. I tend to be an all-or-nothing sort of girl! Haha. Any of you can wear as much or as little as you like. That's entirely up to how you feel about yourself and Mark. If there's some part of your body that you think Mark shouldn't look at, then by ALL MEANS keep it covered. No problem at all."

I was interested to watch the girls. Most of the naked girls were totally happy with their decision. A few of the nudies dithered a little. I guessed tempted to go put on some panties, or whatever. None of them did though. A couple of the clothed girls immediately headed back toward the cubbyholes, then a couple more followed them, then all of them left.

They trickled back, about half wearing panties only, the others in panties and bras. There wasn't a dress, blouse, pair of shorts or jeans anywhere to be seen. My sort of party! It's hard to believe, but Julia seemed even happier than me, presumably because her machinations were working so well. I should also mention, in case any of you aren't aware of it (in which case I feel VERY sorry for you), but Julia must have been VERY happy, because I sure was: girls look DAMNED GOOD in panties. In some ways, even better than not wearing panties, although nude will ALWAYS be my preference, as a matter of a deeply held personal conviction.

After the third game, which Donna won, giving her the 'match' 2 to 1, Donna said, "Can you play someone else properly now Mark. I want to see them eat their words." Donna hadn't forgotten or forgiven their insults.

Julia, who I am sure had been waiting for this opportunity, immediately said, "We don't have time for all of you to play him. Who's the best player here?"

Most of the girls had no skill at all, but a handful had played enough to require a discussion among them. Alexis was chosen.

I wanted to break first. It wasn't a big deal, but it was slightly better. The usual mechanism of tossing a coin wasn't available at the moment. I didn't have one on me, and I was pretty sure none of the others did either. For fun I looked straight at them, and said, "Who's got a coin?" A lot of them reacted, then looked up to see me smiling at them. Gotcha! I got a few chuckles too.

There were no balls on one end of the table, so I put the cue ball there and said, "Alexis, no coin, so you hit that ball hard sideways across the table. Provided it rebounds at least four times, then when it finally stops, if it's closer to that wall I'll break first, the opposite side you break first. That sounds fair, as you're doing the shot. Okay?"

Alexis couldn't argue with that. She made a hard but very deliberate stroke. It rolled to a stop where I won the break, probably because Alexis had failed to take my TK into account (hehe).

Donna called out, "Beat the pants off her, Mark!" Alexis was naked, so Donna scored some laughs.

On my break, an 'under' dropped. Within a very short period of time, so had every other under, then the black. Alexis never got a shot.

On the next game she broke, but no balls dropped. It was difficult to achieve as balls were rolling in all directions, but I managed. One use of TK was a bit obvious if you were looking for it, but I thought the risk was slight. Alexis' failure to sink a ball wasn't essential - not even close to it - but it'd make this more impressive.

It was my turn, and I sunk all the unders again, then the black.

It was my break again, so she stood by helplessly during that game too.

I turned to her, and said, "How many more games do you want to play?"

She responded, "I HAVEN'T played a game yet! Can I try one more?"

"Sure. I can do this all day. It's not hard." She gave me a look, halfway between 'dirty' and 'disbelieving'. (I might be wrong about that, as there aren't many suitable words between those two.)

On her break she managed to sink a ball. More precisely, I did not manage to prevent her sinking one. Unfortunately, snigger, the cue ball had stopped in a difficult location for her. She did her best, but unfortunately again (snigger again) she failed to sink another ball.

I was my turn, so I sunk all the overs.

"Rack 'em Donna." Donna was my helper, all the more to enjoy my victory.

It was much easier to ensure a ball fell during a break than to stop one, so I had no trouble ensuring that I potted one off my break. I finished that game too, in my usual nonstop style.

There had been, of course, lots of comments from the spectators. Mostly along the lines of "Wow!" Julia and Carol just stood there, arm in arm, smiling ear to ear.

After game five, Alexis complained, "I'm never going to win a game, am I?"

"Not unless you can clear the table off your break. Otherwise the game's over as soon as you give me a shot. To be totally honest, I can't absolutely guarantee that, because you might leave me in an impossible position, but you'd be surprised how unlikely that is. The short answer is that you're correct about never winning a game."

"But even professional players can't pot every ball like that. Not game after game they can't. It's not possible."

I called, "Rack 'em Donna!"

"{Giggle}. I told you they were STUPID."

With a light tone, I told her, "Play nicely, Donna."

I'd deliberately played right-handed the whole time, saving my ambidexterity for a good opportunity, such as now. I said, "Your break, Alexis. To make it fair, I'll play entirely left-handed from now on, okay?"

That revived her interest in the game. Alexis said, "That sounds fair." How little she knew!

She broke, but had the misfortune of not sinking a ball.

I cleared the table.

"Rack 'em Donna!"

I cleared the table.

"Rack 'em Donna!"

"Ahh, I think I'll give up now."

"Are you sure? I can do this all day."

"You could make a FORTUNE as professional player. Why aren't you doing that? Do they have an age limit, or something?"

"Yeah, Mark," inquired Julia innocently, "why aren't you doing that?"

My TK would be a LOT less obvious in camera replays in this game than it would be with bowling. Even without TK, I could probably be very good at this game, but NO WAY was I going to take this up professionally, presuming there wasn't "an age limit or something." The truthful answer was that it'd bore me to tears, and I'd HATE all the time I'd have to spend traveling away from home. Plus there were far quicker and easier ways to make far more money, such as roulette, hopefully. I knew from Julia's frustrated tirade in the car that she didn't want to talk about me being rich yet, so I just said two-thirds of the truth: "It'd bore me to tears and I'd hate all the time I'd have to spend traveling away from home. I like being with my family, and Julia is quite nice too." She poked her tongue out at me. I TK-squeezed one of her nipples.

Julia jumped in shock, then laughed heartily. The other girls were surprised. Carol was surprised too, and standing where I could see her clearly, so I demonstrated how I'd surprised Julia by lightly caressing her breast then squeezing one of hers. Carol got it, and laughed too. When Julia recovered, she explained/dismissed her over-reaction by waving her hand and saying, "Sorry, private joke."

Alexis had been waiting impatiently, and she now told me, "I don't think you understand. You could make a FORTUNE! Millions of dollars! I don't know how much the top players make, but it's got to be HUGE, with all the endorsements and everything. And you'd be FAMOUS!"

Alexis was quite worked up. Who'd have thought ANYBODY could get worked up over 8-ball! Famous: phooey. Not that I wanted to be famous - VERY much the reverse, thank you very much - but at 8-ball! Talk about useless!

Julia said, "Alexis, why should Mark bother being rich and famous at 8-ball when he can be rich and famous at bowling?"

"Huh?" said a confused Alexis, not quite able to switch lanes that fast.

"Mark is good enough to bowl perfect games, so I'm sure he could be rich and famous at that too."

Brenda, one of better bowlers asked, "Julia, you can't possibly mean Mark can bowl perfect games EVERY TIME? That's IMPOSSIBLE."

Julia turned to me, to ask, "Mark, can you bowl a perfect game every time?"

I had to be careful here, because this was one of the issues that the parents didn't want me to do because it was too freaky and attention getting. Talking about it was a lot safer than doing it though, especially as it's not completely unknown for guys to exaggerate how good they are when talking to pretty girls and sex is in the offing. "I've only played the one game since becoming more athletic, but bowling strikes was very easy for me, so I think there's a good chance I could get a very large number of perfect games in a row. It's even easier than winning at 8-ball."

Brenda opened her mouth, paused, then said, "But that's IMPOSSIBLE! No one could do that. The best ANYBODY has ever done is three perfect games in a row. Saying you can get a large number of them is RIDICULOUS!"

"Yes. Amazing, isn't he," agreed Julia.

"Huh? No, Julia. I mean it's NOT POSSIBLE." Brenda was getting somewhat agitated, but then she suddenly relaxed, and said, "Ahh! I just remembered you don't know much about bowling. You must've got the wrong idea somehow. Take it from me, no one can do that."

Julia responded, "Mark knows about bowling. Mark can you bowl perfect games every time?"

I didn't know much about bowling, other than how to cheat highly effectively. Having just bowled a perfect game I should have some authority, so I said, "Maybe not EVERY time, but certainly quite a few of them in a row. Like I said before, it's considerably easier than cleaning up at 8-ball."

Brenda opened her mouth to argue again. Donna yelled, "He CAN. I keep telling you that you're STUPID." I was proud of her loyalty, considering she didn't know a thing about my TK. I was a little less impressed with her tact, but you can't have everything. Donna didn't do her credibility any good when she added, "He can do ANYTHING!" It was nice of her though.

Carol said, "If Mark says he can do it, then he can do it. He's not exactly a braggart, is he? You saw him do it once, why can't you believe he can carry on doing it?"

Julia said, "This argument isn't worth all the bother of going back to the alley and having Mark bowl more perfect games just for you Brenda, so you'll just have to take our word for it."

Brenda said, "Let's drop it, Julia? I don't want to cause any trouble."

Julia doesn't like not winning arguments, and she also doesn't like girls not understanding my brilliance, so I didn't think it likely that Julia would drop it. This was a worry, because I feared Julia would explode in some way.

I'd gotten an idea, based on Brenda's rant about three perfect games in a row being the record. I said, "Brenda, let me put this mathematically." Which was my favorite way. "I need a number to start with, for how likely it is for someone to bowl ONE perfect game. If a really good player went to the alley tomorrow and bowled one game, what's his chance of getting a perfect game? One in a thousand, one in a million, one in ten? Just a very rough guess that you'll be comfortable working with."

"Umm. If you just want a rough number, then one in a hundred, I guess. If he was a VERY good bowler."

"Okay, so the chance of bowling two perfect games in a row is one in ten thousand, and three in a row is one in a million, right?"

Mathematics wasn't her forte and she struggled a bit, lowering my opinion of her, but she eventually said, "Yes." No doubt mostly because several other girls were already agreeing.

"And the reason you say getting many more than three in a row has never been done is because the odds get worse and worse. Bowling three perfect games in a row is one in a million, six in a row is one in ten to the twelfth, which is a trillion, nine in a row is one in a ten to the eighteenth, which is a quintillion."

Brenda was lost. The wheels weren't even going around. "Umm. I don't know. I'm not very good with numbers."

#1: <Oh well. At least she's pretty and naked. Two out of three ain't bad.>

I'd been intending to use a very simple piece of mathematics. That when her 1/100th probability was reduced, then the compounded probabilities for 3, 6, 9 or whatever number of consecutive perfect games, dropped dramatically faster. And when the probability of a perfect game got to 1 (which I can do), then any number of consecutive games was possible. But this approach wasn't going to succeed with her. "Let me try another way then, Brenda. Let's say I'm great at school. Even a bit of a genius. Can you imagine that?"

Most of the girls chuckled at that. Brenda's mind was still recovering from the horror of having to think about numbers, so it took her a little bit longer to get the wheels moving. Happily for her there were no numbers in my new approach.

When she was ready, I continued, "Let's say this cunning genius, who - by the way - has a very nice, calm, even-tempered girlfriend," who responded by hugging my arm and giggling, "invents a new bowling ball. It's a very, very clever bowling ball, containing a really clever computer, a video camera so it can see, a motor to move itself, and two robot arms that it can tuck inside the ball, but can also stick out and wave around when it needs to. This is just the sort of bowling ball you'd see in a silly cartoon. Let's call it 'Barry', 'Barry the Bowling Ball'. Can you imagine Barry?" Quite a few girls giggled. Brenda was smiling, which was more than she could do when I talked about numbers, so a cartoon was definitely a better approach to use with her.

^-- "Good. Now Barry's mission in life is to knock over pins. Barry HATES pins, and he LOVES to knock them ALL over. Sad to say, but Barry is a bit of a bully. So he should be called 'Barry the Bully Bowling Ball'. So, after I've designed and built Barry, I take him down to the bowling alley and I toss him onto a lane. Barry opens his eye, and down the far end he sees those pins that he hates so much. He thinks to himself, 'Right, I'm going to get you, you DAMNED PINS!' He turns on his motor, and he drives himself straight down the center of the lane. He's got an eye, so he can easily see where the center is. When he gets down to the end where the pins are, he sticks out his arms - which are very long - and he smacks every pin in the head, knocking them all down. He's having great fun now, because he's down there among all the pins, rolling back and forth, smashing into them, knocking them back and forth.

^-- "He'd happily spend hours doing that, because he REALLY HATES pins, but that machine thingy that bowling alleys have, comes down from above and sweeps all the pins and poor Barry. I don't really know what happens back there, but it ends up with Barry being put into that thing that rolls the balls back down to our end of the lane. Now Barry's no dummy - he knows that after he gets sent down to the bowlers' end, then the bowler will pick him up and roll him down the lane again, so he gets to beat up EVEN MORE PINS! This makes Barry very, very happy, because he LOVES beating up pins. And that's what happens. The cunning genius inventor..."

"With the beautiful girlfriend," prompted Julia.

"With the TWENTY FIVE beautiful girlfriends, one of whom isn't very modest, picks up Barry, and tosses him onto the lane again. Barry sees all those pins standing up and looking smug, just begging for a good bashing! So he motors straight down there and knocks them all down, like they jolly well deserve. He's still smashing them all around the place when that arm-sweeping-thing comes down again. Barry thinks, 'Yippee, I get to knock over ten more smart alec pins soon.' And the whole process repeats.

^-- "Barry is a very enthusiastic bully and very good at it, so he ALWAYS gets all ten pins. So each time the genius with the twenty five beautiful girlfriends and two wonderful sisters tosses Barry onto the lane, Barry always gets a strike. He NEVER fails. I'm sure you can see that after twelve tosses, Barry's owner's got a score of 300. Now the next game starts, but Barry doesn't care anything about games; he just hates PINS. So on the thirteenth repetition, Barry just thinks, 'Yippee, ten more stuck-up pins to knock down', and motors down there to deal to them. Same on the fourteenth repetition, and all the way to the twenty fourth repetition. Barry's owner, me, now has two perfect games in a row. A few minutes later Barry's had the pleasure of knocking down 120 more pins, and I've now got three perfect games. Barry's having a GREAT day! He's a computer, so he doesn't get tired, and doesn't need to rest. So how many perfect games in a row could I get?"

^-- Everyone was too wrapped up in the story to respond, so I said, "Brenda! How many perfect games could I get, if I had a bowling ball like Barry?"

"Huh? What?"

"If Barry really existed, and I took him to the bowling alley, how many perfect games in a row could I get?"

"But Barry's a cartoon!"

Sheesh! "Work with me PLEASE, Brenda. Pretend I really, truly had built a bowling ball like Barry, who got a strike EVERY SINGLE TIME he was bowled, how many perfect games could I get in a row?"

"If he was real?"

"Yes, real AND could get a strike EVERY SINGLE TIME. How many perfect games in a row?"

"Umm. As many as he wanted. As many as YOU wanted. Do you mean he's real? Have you really built a ball like that?"

#1: <Oh well. At least she's pretty and naked.>

"Let's ignore Barry for the moment. You agree that if I can get a strike every time, then I can get as many perfect score games in a row as I want?"

"Sure, that's obvious. Does Barry really hate pins?"

#2: <Look on the bright side, Brenda must be very suggestible. That's a GREAT trait in a pretty, naked girl, haha. I think she's just got a good imagination, and we painted too good a picture. I think we'd better kill Barry though, or we'll be held back by him.>

"Brenda, there's no such thing as Barry. He doesn't exist; I made him up. You saw me at the bowling alley, I bowled with one of their balls."

"But you said..."

"I MADE HIM UP, Brenda. You were having trouble with mathematics so I used a cartoon. Mathematics is a logical, left brain activity. People who aren't strong in their left brain are usually strong in their right brain, so I used a cartoon image to see if that worked better with you. You must be VERY strong in your right brain, because that cartoon image worked very, very well, haha. Do you understand that Barry never existed? I invented the IDEA of Barry just a few seconds ago, to help you understand?"

"But why?" asked a confused Brenda, saddened by the passing of Barry.

"To make you understand that if I can bowl a strike every single time, then I can get as many perfect games in a row as I can be bothered playing. You do understand that, don't you?"

"Sure, that's obvious. But how can you get a strike every time without Barry?"

"I'm going to explain that easily, but I'll start by asking you to imagine a different game than bowling. You've seen games of basketball, haven't you?"