Chapter 10

Jeanette rushed to the phone as it rang for the third time. Surely it would be Brent. It had to be Brent.

"Hello?" she said, expectantly.

"Jeanette, it's June Francis."

"Oh ... hi June." She was afraid to ask her if she had heard from Brent.

"Are you OK, Jeanette? I know what happened. Brent was here. He wanted to talk to Walter. He's very upset and uncertain right now. He doesn't know what to say to you."

With that, Jeanette broke down and began sobbing, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Oh, June, I don't know what to do. I've been so stupid and I don't know how to fix it," she wailed.

"No ... I'm sure you don't," the older woman said sympathetically. "Do you know what you will tell Brent when he asks you why?"

"I'm not sure. I don't even know how to answer that to myself. Is he ever going to call me? Will he ever come home? I can't take much more of this, June." Her voice was cracking and she was on the edge of control.

"Yes, Jeanette. He isn't running away. He's trying to understand how to handle this. That's why he came here. He's mystified and angry, I think. He doesn't know what to do. He knows he has to talk to you, but he's trying to get a grip on himself. You know what he's like. He wants to be calm and rational. He wants to understand. You need to think about what you can tell him about your actions. You must have thought about it before you did it. You must have known it was a risk. If you don't know what got you up on that stage, then I don't see how Brent would be able to understand either."

Jeanette was quiet and lost in her thoughts when June finished.

"Are you alright, Jeanette?"

"Yes ... yes ... I was just thinking about what you said. I need to understand for myself. I need to remember how it all happened. He needs to know, doesn't he?"

"It won't be easy, Jeanette. Try and stay calm and remember something very, very important — Brent loves you very much. That hasn't changed. He's angry and in pain and turmoil, but he still loves you. That much I know for sure."

"Thank you, June. I'm so glad you called. You've helped me a lot. Now ... I just have to wait for Brent. I hope he'll come home soon. I need him. The children need him. I don't think I could go on without him."

"He'll be there soon, Jeanette. He'll call you and then you two can start to put things back together again. Don't get down on yourself, Jeanette. You'll work it out together. I know you will," the older woman encouraged.

As Jeanette hung up the phone, she slumped back in the chair and wondered just what she would tell Brent when he came home. How could she make him understand that it wasn't the real Jeanette on that stage? The real Jeanette would have never considered any such thing. The real Jeanette didn't need to prove anything to anyone about how she looked or how she felt about herself. There was another Jeanette, hiding inside her. The other Jeanette needed to prove something to herself. She needed to know that at her age, she was still desirable and men would still want her. On that stage, she knew that the men in that audience wanted her. She just had to make Brent understand. She walked slowly to the bathroom and took two more Tylenol from the container, washing them down with water.