Chapter 5: Confusion

Melanie laid curled up in Jenny's bed, as far to the edge as possible. She followed the dagger of light that fell from the window with her eyes. It started on her, then fell from view over the edge of the bed before reappearing to run along the floor. It made a funny angle as it crept up the wall and disappearing into its source between the parted curtains. She looked back at where the sharp point of light ended: right at her sex. She lay still and thought wryly that it was probably the least likely part of her body to be radiating something so bright and cheerful. She was disgusted with herself.

She pulled the blanket up tighter around her shoulders and turned her attention towards the brightness of the window. What a fool she was. A damn fool. In her fear and stupidity, she'd left the arms of the one person who had ever made her feel safe and ran right into the arms of danger. She shivered at the memory of the previous night.

She'd almost been raped. Again. She and Jenny didn't talk the entire ride home. As Melanie processed what had happened—and what had almost happened—she felt the animosity for her "friend" well up inside her. Some friend.

Jenny had asked Melanie if she wanted to be taken home. Of course, that would have been even worse than being with Jenny at the moment, so she declined. They ended up in Jenny's room. All the redhead could offer was apology after apology. Melanie didn't want to talk about it, so she just pulled on her nightshirt, climbed into the bed and rolled far to the edge. She slept fitfully, but when she awoke, she realized she hadn't moved all night.

By some miracle, the sounds of police sirens had saved her this time. She was mad a Jenny for starting the whole thing, but deep down inside she knew she was as much or more to blame. She shouldn't have even been at the party. She had vowed to change her life, and Madison had accepted that vow. Melanie should have been with her sister. If not in an intimate relationship, at least in her presence. She cursed herself. Now how could she go back? Madison would never forgive her. She knew that. She had ruined what was most likely her only opportunity to have someone's love. Another thought crossed her mind. Maybe, though ... Maybe Madison would pity her enough to just let her be a part of her life on the fringe. She brightened at the possibility, and over the next 15 minutes she talked herself into being satisfied just to be near Madison. Even if her sister hated her, but could at least tolerate her, that would be enough for her.

Melanie climbed out of the bed, careful not to wake Jenny. Quietly she dressed and tiptoed to the bathroom. Even her cautious movements caused her head to pound and her gait to become unsteady. After making herself presentable, she grabbed her bag and escaped her friend's house. She was heading home, back to Madison, and promised herself she'd never leave her again.

It had been an incredible dream, a wonderful change from the nightmares that often plagued Madison's sleep. She could still almost feel the caress of Amber's fingers on her stomach. She didn't want to open her eyes and let the dream end, but she knew it was time. She let her eyes flutter open and to her surprise the caress didn't stop. She let her head roll to the side and her vision caught the lovely site of the object of her dream. Amber's head was propped up on one hand while she lazily drew patterns on Madison's cool skin. She smiled when Madison opened her eyes.

"Good morning, beautiful," she whispered. "How was your night?"

Madison blushed a little as her mind sped through her dream again. OK. Obviously it wasn't a dream, and for that Madison was grateful. "Mmm ... very nice. Yours?"

"Mine was wonderful, with you by my side."

Madison smiled and reached her hand up to caress Amber's arm. "Do you always quote lyrics?" She obviously caught Amber's use of the Steve Holy song.

Amber shrugged, still smiling. "Hey, when I opened my eyes and saw your sweet face, it was a good morning beautiful day."

Madison rolled her eyes, but she knew they showed the joy she was feeling at the moment. Amber leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on Madison's lips. "Maddie, your eyes are sparkling. I can't remember the last time I've seen you so obviously happy."

Madison stuck her lip out in a faux pout. "Well, it's all your fault." Amber's grin stretched wider and she bent over for another kiss, this time sucking Madison's lip in her mouth and caressing it with her tongue. "Mmmm..." was all Madison could say.

Amber pulled on Madison's lip until it popped out of her mouth. "I could just lay here and look at you forever."

"Only looking?"

Amber giggled. "Well, probably not."

Madison stretched and Amber leaned over again to place a wet kiss on her belly. Madison felt goosebumps cover her body. Amber responded with a loud, sloppy raspberry. Madison flinched, giggling and pushed her new lover away. "That tickles."

"Well, duh. That was the point." Madison slid out of the bed, suddenly aware of her complete nudity. Amber watched as her lover stepped over to her duffel bag. She pulled out a pair of shorts and t shirt. "Where ya going, beautiful?"

"Gotta pee," Madison replied as she tugged her shirt over her head.

"You didn't have to get dressed. Mom and Dad are already at work."

Madison did a quick turn. "What time is it?"

"10:30 or so. Why?"

"Aunt Lynn says I have to be home by 11:30." Madison sighed as she went out the door. When she returned, Amber was sitting on the bed leaning against the headboard, her knees pulled up to her chest. She had her chin resting on her knees and a contemplative look on her face. "Whatcha thinking?"

"Just thinking about last night."

Madison's insecurity suddenly boiled under the surface. She wondered where this talk might lead. She came over and sat on the edge of the bed. She forced herself to make eye contact with Amber. "What part?" She spoke apprehensively.

"Well, just..." Amber was picking her words carefully. "I guess, just wondering where we go from here." Madison couldn't trust herself to speak, so she waited to see if there was more. Amber continued. "I really enjoyed last night. I mean REALLY enjoyed it. It was definitely better than when I had sex with Scott. I just don't know for sure how to deal with that revelation, I guess. Does it make me a lesbian? I still get turned on thinking about being with a guy, so what does that mean?"

"Are y-you sorry about last night?" Madison asked cautiously.

Amber looked at Madison, her eyes soft. "Oh never! Madison, that was the best I've ever felt. As a matter of fact, I feel closer to you than I ever have before, maybe closer than I've ever felt to anyone." Her expression changed slightly, and it was her turn to speak cautiously. "Do you regret it?"

Madison smiled, both from relief and from satisfaction. "Absolutely not. I agree. It was the best. I wish we could have gone on all night, but I was just too tired."

"Do you think you are a lesbian now?"

Madison blushed, then decided to confess. "Amber, I've been waiting to make love with a girl since, well, a long time ago."

"You have? Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I wasn't sure how you would react. I've never told anyone this—well besides my sister—but I've known I liked girls for a couple of years."

Amber raised her eyebrow and a small grin appeared on her lips. "Did you come to my house this week to seduce me?"

"No!" Madison responded quickly. "I didn't even think of you that way before we were talking about it on Sunday!"

"Damn." Amber's grin widened. "Well, I most definitely was trying to seduce you."

"What?" It was Madison's turn to ask. "You wanted to seduce me?"

"I've known I wanted to experiment with girls for a while, I just didn't know how to go about it. I knew which girls I found attractive, but I just didn't know who would be receptive. I mean, just like you I was afraid everyone would think I was weird and reject me. God, I'm not sure I could have handled that. Anyway, I became more aware of how other people were acting, who they were quietly watching and stuff. It's interesting how you can tell a lot of times who someone thinks is hot by the way they just watch them walk across the room or how they react when that person comes into the room. I chose you after two things happened. I noticed how you watched some of the girls in our classes first. Then I noticed how you watched me. I'd always enjoyed being around you, even though you were so quiet. You were friendly and pretty. So I began to watch you to and I noticed just how sexy you were."

Madison's mind was reeling. She was embarrassed that her supposedly secret observations were so transparent. She wondered how many others saw what Amber saw. She was also shocked that Amber had been watching her and found her sexy. "Why didn't you try anything with me before?"

"I didn't know how to ask. I mean, it's one thing to want to have sex with someone. It's a whole other thing to actually approach them about it, especially if you aren't sure what they'll say. On Sunday, I figured there was no time like the present. I did everything I thought would work. I tried to lead the conversation that way, talking about dating and cute girls and stuff. I danced for you in the sexiest way I knew how. I even told you I thought curvy and leggy was sexy, but I don't think you got the hint."

Madison was thinking back over the conversation from the other day, but she was having trouble remembering exactly what Amber had said other than that she thought Nelly Furtado was sexy. Her confusion must have shown.

Amber laughed. "You still don't get the hint, do you? I said Nelly Furtado was curvy and leggy. I was trying drop the hint that I find curvy and leggy sexy, and you are most definitely curvy and leggy."

"Oh." It was all Madison could think to say. Amber laughed harder, which made Madison smile. "Well, you did a good job seducing me. When do you want to try again?"

Amber's expression took on a devious air. She slithered out from under the covers and began to crawl cat-like over towards Madison. "There's no time like the present," she purred. Madison watched Amber's movements, mesmerized by her incredible figure. She gazed hungrily at the blonde's breasts swaying slightly as she moved toward her. Amber crawled until her face was inches from Madison's. "Meow..." she teased. Madison couldn't help herself. She grabbed her friend's face between both hands and planted a wet, passionate kiss on her lips. She shoved her tongue deep into Amber's mouth, finding its mate and beginning a sensual dance. She pushed back on Amber, encouraging her to move back on the bed and lay down. Madison moved with her and was soon covering Amber's body with her own. They never broke the kiss. Madison's hands explored Amber's glorious body. She moved her lips down to re-explore everything that her hands had just touched. She continued her way down, licking around Amber's navel. "Oh, god, Madison..." she cooed.

Madison moved down and lay between her lover's parted legs. She placed slow, wet kisses on her mound before sliding her tongue down and over Amber's clit. Amber moaned and arched her back. Madison continued to tongue downwards, her tongue slipping between Amber's labia. Madison's head swam with arousal as she savored her lover's essence. She paused at Amber's entrance and placed a loud smack with her lips. Amber giggled at the sound. Her giggle cut short, turning to a gasp when Madison sank her tongue deep into her center.

Armed with knowledge of what Amber liked, Madison ramped things up quickly. She fingered, licked, nibbled every fold and crease of Amber's sex until her friend was thrusting her hips into her face. Amber had both hands on the back of Madison's head, her fingers holding fistfuls of hair and urging Madison's tongue deeper. As her panting increased, Madison turned direct attention to her swollen bud. She used the fingers of one hand to part Amber's vulva and the fingers of the other to pull her clitoris hood back taut. She sucked the jewel into her mouth and flicked her tongue back and forth rapidly. Amber was wailing with pleasure.

"Ooooh ... fuuuck!" she groaned. Her body tensed and then jerked with spasm after spasm. Madison tried frantically to keep contact with the center of Amber's pleasure, allowing Amber to ride the waves for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, Amber collapsed, sucking in huge lungfuls of air. Madison sat back on her haunches and smiled. Amber half opened her eyes and smiled. "God, girl. You are fucking incredible." She drew her hand down lazily across her belly and to her pussy.

Madison licked her lips seductively and made a show of wiping Amber's come off her face. Amber shuddered and whimpered. Madison crawled up and engaged Amber in a long passionate kiss. Amber put both hands on Madison's face and licked her chin, nose, and cheeks before completing the cleaning on her lips and tongue.

"I have ... got to ... get ... out of here," Madison managed to say between Amber's tongue and lips. She pulled back and the girls took a deep breath. "Aunt Lynn will have a cow if I'm late."

"I'd love to see that!" Amber teased. "I've never seen a human give birth to a cow before."

Madison laughed and climbed off the bed. She stuffed her last few things into her bag, then turned to Amber. Her new lover was watching her pack with the sweetest expression on her face.

"So, where do we go from here?" Madison asked, suddenly unsure of herself.

"Who knows?" Amber said as she stretched, giving Madison a glorious view of her body. "I'll let you know after we make love next time."

Madison smiled. She couldn't believe the last few days could have ended up this way. She blew her friend a kiss goodbye, and after some last pleasantries, made her way home.

She walked briskly, not wanted to be late and face her aunt's wrath. She had a very contented feeling at the moment. She loved being with Amber, and couldn't wait to be with her again. Thoughts of their time together warmed her all over, and she could feel the unmistakable tingling between her legs. Yet, she couldn't help but feel that she was being unfaithful to some degree. She was suddenly angry with herself. You don't owe Melanie anything, she scolded. She walked out on you, remember? Still, she'd said she loved Melanie—really loved her—and she'd meant it. There was no doubt in her mind. She did, however, have lingering doubts about the sincerity of Melanie's confession, no matter how genuine it seemed at the time. Nor could she allow herself to become swayed once again by her sister's manipulation. She decided that her newly discovered feelings for Melanie would just have to remain suppressed. Her newly discovered feelings for Amber were a whole other matter. She smiled and let the memories wash away her pessimism, and added a little skip to her step.