Chapter 1: Open Wounds

Madison awoke. Her room was dark and hot, the ceiling fan doing little to move the stagnant summer air. It took her a moment to clear the cobwebs from her mind. Something had awakened her, but she wasn't sure what. She looked over to the other side of the room and noticed her sister's bed. As the form of her sister's body was absent, she assumed that she still hadn't come home. Madison glanced at her alarm clock and sighed. Past three in the morning. She stiffened when she heard harsh talking in the hall outside her room. Though she couldn't make out the words, she could sense their intensity. She lay still and tried to make out the words.

Dang it, she thought in frustration. She rolled over trying to move closer to the door. A droplet of sweat escaped her wet, matted hair and ran down her cheek. She felt the damp sheets peel off her sticky skin. Still nothing but the muffled sounds of an argument, which she was sure involved her aunt and her twin. She decided she'd get up and press her ear to the door. Just as she sat up, the voices escalated.

"Don't lie to me, you little brat. I can smell it on you!"

"I swear, Aunt Lynn, it was the kids I was with. I didn't smoke—"

"Dammit, why do you do this? You must think I'm stupid." There was a pause. "Oh, you think it's funny, do you? Little slut. Getting stoned, then letting all those boys fuck you?"

Madison sat rigid, but the slanderous words made her jaw tighten. It was her aunt's favorite name for the two of them.

"I'm not a slut—"

"The hell you aren't. Someday you're gonna get knocked up or get a STD or something, and then what will you do? Huh?"

"Just leave me alone."

"Listen when I'm talking to you. What are you gonna do then? Huh? Huh?" Madison heard her aunt let out a derisive laugh. "End up just like your momma, strung out, living on the streets and giving sex for drugs."

"Don't talk about Mom that way!" Madison wasn't surprised by Melanie's retaliation. Aunt Lynn could usually provoke her sister to this.

"She was a slut, just like you and your sister."

"Shut up, bitch!" Madison heard the sound of a slap, and she could feel the lump in her throat. She wanted to run out and ... she didn't know what she'd do. She just sat still, her fists balled up, her body shaking.

"Don't call me a bitch. You never learn, do you?" Madison heard more muffled words, but couldn't make them out. Suddenly, the door to their room swung open, bathing her twin's half of the room in light. Melanie stormed in and swung the door closed, locking it behind her.

"That's right, little slut," Aunt Lynn wailed through the door. "Run away like always." Madison could hear her aunt mumble her way down the hall. She sat like a statue in the dark, trying to make out her sister's form. The faint glow from the window illuminated her figure just enough so Madison could see she was just standing there by the door.

After a moment, Melanie moved over towards her bed. She had her hand to her face, rubbing her cheek. Madison thought she could make out faint sniffles. Melanie pushed her jeans to the floor and stepped out of them.

"Melanie?" Madison rasped. She watched the silhouette of her sister jump at her voice.

"Dammit, Madison. You scared the hell out of me."

"Sorry." Madison was quiet as she watched Melanie climb into her bed across the room. Melanie sniffed and wiped her face. Madison still said nothing.

Finally, Melanie sighed. "What do you want, Madison?"

Madison tried to collect her thoughts, wanted to ask if her sister was alright, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Instead she went her usual route. "Why do you do this? You just know what—"

"Don't lecture me, Madison. You're not my mother."

Madison felt anger swell again. "Well, someone needs to be."

Melanie's laugh was disdainful. "And that would be who? You? Aunt Lynn? Our social worker? Please, spare me." Her voice became mocking, as if imitating someone else. "You control your own future, Melanie. You are on a path to self-destruction, Melanie. Everything is your fault, Melanie."

"I never said everything was your fault, Mel. You..." Madison searched for the words, but her mind was empty. She sighed, resigned. "Never mind. Just go to bed."

"Whatever."

Madison lay down and pulled the covers up angrily, nestling them against her chin despite the hot, humid night air. She was so frustrated. She hated when Melanie got like this. You couldn't talk with her. Her mind and heart were racing, and she figured there wasn't any chance she'd quickly slip back to sleep.

Madison awoke in a panic. She could hear Melanie whimpering. Madison tried to get her bearings. Her room was illuminated by the light from the hallway and from the neon sign of the Garden Estates Mobile Home Park sign that stood sentinel over the rusty hull of her mom's mobile home. Melanie whimpered again and Madison turned her head towards her sister's bed. Suddenly, she felt all the air shoved out of her lungs as something heavy landed on her. She tried to let out a scream but there was no air there. A rough hand clamped over her mouth. Her terror-filled eyes tried to focus. What was going on?! She tried to wiggle free, but the weight pressed her into the bed. Somewhere Melanie was crying quietly.

"Hey, honey," came a gruff voice near her ear. Rancid breath streamed across her nose, a mixture of alcohol and rotting teeth. She rolled her eyes to see above her and looked right into the dirty, scruffy face of Frank, one of her mom's regular "clients".

What are you doing to me? Madison's mind screamed. "Mmrphgh..." was all she could force out between his stained fingers.

His face leered at her. "You make me happy and I'll give your slut of a mother a little somethin' extra."

Tears were coursing down Madison's cheeks. She was getting little whiffs of blessed air through her nose, but still her lungs burned to suck in as much as possible. It took her a moment to process his words. What did he mean make him happy? Did he want ... Madison's eyes got wider when it began to register. She tried to shake her head.

"If I ain't happy with you, you little fuckin' cunt," the fat, smelly man growled, "then I gonna just have to take it from your little trash sister. Madison slowly rolled her eyes back towards her sister, who continued sob on the bed next to hers. Why didn't she help? She could now make out that Melanie was on her stomach, her hands tied behind her back. Melanie was facing Madison and Madison could see her mouth covered with something, her eyes wide with horror.

Frank's shifting drew Madison's attention. "I'm gonna take my hand away, but you better not make a sound. If you do, I'll fuck you and your sister." He lifted his hand off and sat back on his knees, which were straddling the young girl. Madison sucked in a lungfuls of air. She closed her eyes, but then popped them back open when she heard the zipper. She looked at him in panic and her body began to tremble. No! No! Please don't! her mind screamed. Her lips moved, but suppressed any sounds.

Frank's wicked smirk widened as he fumbled in his pants with his hands. "I ain't never had me no virgin pussy before. I'm gonna enjoy this ... there we go." Madison refused to look down, but she knew he'd found what he was looking for. When she felt her nightgown being pushed up, she began to sob. When she felt her panties cut into her flesh as they were ripped off, she began to squirm. But Frank was too heavy.

He moved down to lie on top of her and his hips started rutting, pushing something hard into her upper thigh and pubic bone. When she felt that hard thing find its mark and force its way in, she screamed...

Madison awoke in a panic. Her heart was racing, her body trembling. She immediately began to react, then recognized her bedroom in the darkness. Not the one in the mobile home, but the one in her aunt's house. She laid her head back, closed her eyes and cried silently. A nightmare. One she'd had many times before, a horrific memory replaying itself over and over again. It'd been three years since that night, and she'd dreamt about it many times, starting and stopping at the same places each time, like a recording stuck on repeat.

Though she was bathed in sweat, she was shivering. She rolled over and curled in a ball and let the tears release themselves. She looked at the sleeping form of her sister. She knew Melanie had the same demons, yet they never talked about it. It was like not talking meant it hadn't even happened. But it did. She wasn't even sure who knew about it or how much they knew, because no one ever talked about it. Not Aunt Lynn. Not teachers, social workers, counselors, not doctors. Don't talk and it's not real. Yeah, right.

Madison thoughts turned to her aunt. Aunt Lynn was Madison's mom's older sister. According to her aunt, they had a pretty crappy home life, and dealt with it in different ways. Lynn had moved out as soon as she turned 18. She got a job in a factory, on the line, and then moved into quality control. At 22, she married Uncle Dennis, who just happened to be manager of quality control. He was 42 at the time, and already had two grown kids. A year later Lynn was a stay-at-home mother of a little boy.

The twins' mother, Leslie, was four years younger than Lynn. She had escaped the horrors of home by finding the wrong crowd and participating in anything and everything with them. She ran away at 16, was found and put in a juvenile home until 18, when she took to the streets of the nearest city. She was driven by the need for her next hit, and did whatever it took to get there. When she was 21, she got pregnant—nobody knew who the father was—and checked herself into rehab, afraid of what would happen to her unborn baby if she stayed on the street. After rehab, she moved to Lynn's house, supposedly on the straight and narrow, until she gave birth to Madison and Melanie, who were fraternal twins. She worked as a waitress at a local dive, where she was able to earn enough to rent her own little mobile home. Things were good for several years, until the twins were about 10. Then Leslie relapsed. She was bringing different men home every night, earning some cash, and wasting it on drugs.