It's a few years ago. I'm 50 years old and I'm living in Southern California with my wife and kids. It's early evening. My workday is done and I stop in at a nice restaurant/bar on Ventura Blvd. in Encino for a drink. I pull up a stool and order a Chives and soda.

Several stools away from me is a nice looking young girl of 16 or 17, dressed in regulation schoolgirl clothes, who is having I assume, a non-alcoholic beverage. She's talking to the bartender.

I don't know what this kid is doing at a bar but before I can wonder about it too long she turns to me and starts making small talk. She catches me off guard, as this seems to me to be very aggressive for a young girl at a bar... - even a fancy bar. Besides she's not only underage but the situation seems a little surreal. We exchange a few pleasantries and I go back to my drink. However when she continues talking to me I become increasingly uneasy with the situation.

I know the food here is good and since I'm a little hungry, I excuse myself and go to a rear booth to have some dinner. These are semi-circular booths, so everything is visible under the table to anyone who happens to be looking in that direction. The restaurant is quiet, as it's a little early for the dinner crowd and no one is near the booth where I'm sitting.

I'm looking over the menu and I notice that Alicia Silverstone has come into the rear of the restaurant. I recognize her, as "Clueless" is one of my favorite comedies. I'm a little surprised that she's by herself, as I assume these people are constantly surrounded with an entourage. A lot of movie people live in The Valley and I know that many of them frequent this place.

She sits at a booth opposite me ... maybe 15' away. She's stunning ... a natural beauty. Prettier in person than she is in the movies. She's fashionably dressed in a loose fitting sweater and tailored slacks. I make eye contact, smile and acknowledge her with a nod of my head. I do this because she's a movie star and not because I know her. She acknowledges me as well and we both go back to what we were doing.

A couple of minutes later the schoolgirl surprises the crap out of me by coming over to my booth and slides in on my left.

"Excuse me, mister. You seem like a nice man and I need to talk to someone. Can I talk to you?"

The menu drops out of my hands.

"What? Are you in some kind of trouble young lady?" I try my best to sound very mature, adult and responsible.

"No, no trouble but I need to talk to someone and the bartender wasn't much help. I think he was uncomfortable with me sitting there since I'm only 16. Please?"

What's going on here?

I look her over and the kid is really very attractive. Big, expressive dark eyes, a long brown ponytail, beautiful skin and a healthy glow to her. She's wearing the full uniform: an academy jacket, open at the front, revealing a prim white blouse; a short pleated skirt that comes well above her knees when she sits down and white knee-high socks. And from what I can see, she has a very nice figure. If I were a dirty old man I'd be looking to take advantage here but I'm not going to make any moves on a teenage girl in a public place. It wouldn't be right. Or sane.

Alicia Silverstone, who is close enough to hear us, observes what's happening. She catches my eye and smiles a curious smile. I give her a "whatever" shrug. She shrugs back, makes a little giggle and picks up her menu. But the situation definitely has the beautiful young actress' attention, as she's now well aware something out of the ordinary is going on.

"Then what's the problem, sweetie?"

Sweetie? I'm calling her sweetie?

"And what's your name, by the way?"

"My name is Jennifer. See, here's the thing, mister: My boyfriend's in a rock and roll band and he's on the road a lot but I'm in Catholic school, so I can't go with him. In fact, he's away right now. Also, my parents are away and I'm home alone and I'm lonely and I have no one to talk to."

"Don't you have any friends, Jennifer?"

"Well, sure but I'm embarrassed to talk to them about certain things."

"Like what?" I ask, probably a little too eagerly.

"It's like, I'm not only lonely but even when he's home, my boyfriend doesn't understand me."

This is a switch. I wonder where this is going?

"He doesn't like to do the same things I like to do."

My sexual antenna is up and I'm starting to get a tingling in my cock. I look down and notice that her skirt is hiked way up and there's a lot of female teenage thigh sitting exposed just inches from me. She notices me looking down at her thighs and, is it my imagination or do her legs open a little? The arousal in my cock gets more intense.

"Like what?" I ask again, trying to constrain myself.

"It's a little embarrassing to talk about, mister, but I'm a grown woman now and I have needs."

"Needs? You're a child. What kind of needs?"

You could hear a pin drop. I steal a glance at Alicia and catch her eyes peering at us over the top of her menu.

"My boyfriend doesn't get my turn-ons and he won't give me pleasure the way I need him to."

Is she kidding me? My cock is getting hard and it's beginning to push against my loose fitting slacks.

"Well," she says as she lowers her eyes, "I like, you know... , cunnilingus? Like when a boy puts his mouth..."

My jaw drops. And out of the corner of my eye, I can see Alicia's menu fall out of her hands.

"Uh, yes, I know, Jennifer. When a boy puts his mouth on your..."

"Vagina", the schoolgirl says, with a sad expression on her face. "Yes, I like it when a boy puts his mouth on my vagina and makes me have an orgasm that way but my boyfriend won't do that. Do you think I'm bad, mister? Do you do that when you have sex?"

"I, uhh ... uhhh. I'm not sure we should be having this discussion, Jennifer."

"Please, mister. I need to know."

"Well, OK. Yes, I actually enjoy performing cunnilingus on a woman during sex."

"You do? So it's not weird that I like it?"

"Well no. A lot of people do it. What do you like about it, Jennifer?"

I was beginning to get into this and when I look at Alicia Silverstone, I see that her eyes are as wide as saucers and her mouth is open.

"I like the feel of a boy's face, lips and tongue between my legs. And I like it when he sticks his tongue in, uhh ... in uhhh..."

"In where?" I want to touch myself but I don't dare.

"In my vagina, mister. I like to feel a boy's tongue on my clit, ya know? It makes me so wet and makes me feel so good I can't stand it, and my boyfriend won't do that for me."

And with that she puts her right hand on my thigh. A bolt of lightning shoots through me and I get instantly hard. She looks down and can't miss the bulge in my pants.

"Would you like me to do that for you, Jennifer? I mean you're only 16 but I think I could put my tongue on your clit and make you wet."

I'm stammering. So much for being responsible ... or sane.

"No mister. You're a grownup and I just need someone to talk to. But is it OK if I put my hand on your thigh, like this? It would make me feel better."

"Yes, sweetheart, it's OK. You can touch me. I understand. You're a 16-year-old grown woman and you need someone to talk to." My heart is pounding.

With her hand only inches from my cock, it's starting to vibrate inside my pants. It's a good thing I'm wearing suit pants and not jeans, so it has some room to do its thing.

"But there's something else I like but my boyfriend won't do that either."

Oh my God!

"What's that, sweetie?" I whimper.

"I'm embarrassed to say."

"Go ahead, baby. You can tell me." And I ever so gently place my left hand on her right thigh. On her naked right thigh. And I feel her leg quiver.

Alicia Silverstone not only hears our conversation but she can see what's going on under our table. Her waiter comes over to her and she shoos him away, as she doesn't want to be distracted.

"Well, mister..." She hesitates and strokes my thigh. I want to let out a low moan but I'm afraid Alicia will hear me. But not for long.

Then my waiter comes over, breaking the mood for a moment and I order another Chives and soda. I'm concerned that he can see our hands on one another's legs under the table but this is too good and I'm not about to move them.

"And for your daughter, sir?"

MY DAUGHTER??? My brain screams. How 'bout I put my head between my daughter's thighs and lick her cunt right here in the restaurant, while Alicia Silverstone gives me a blowjob?

Jennifer giggles and orders a diet Coke. The waiter leaves us.

"He thought I was your daughter, mister. Isn't that funny?"